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Dr. Robert Jeffress

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Relationship Regrets

May 20, 2025

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Relationship Regrets
Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
#Relationships #Forgiveness #Religion #Peopleinyourlife #LoveyourNeighbor #inActive #Dr.RobertJeffress #RobertJeffress #Regret #Mistakes

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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Relationship Regrets | May 20, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church of
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  • Dallas, texas, this is "pathway to victory" with dr.
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  • Robert jeffress.
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  • Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress, and welcome
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  • Again to "pathway to victory."
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  • Few topics are more personal than the issue of forgiveness.
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  • We've all felt the sting of being wronged by another, and we
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  • All know the struggle of letting go of resentment.
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  • Today, i'm going to refute four fallacies about forgiveness that
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  • Keep us from moving on, and then i'll share three principles to
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  • Help you exercise genuine biblical forgiveness.
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  • My message is titled "say goodbye to relationship regrets"
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  • On today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Announcer: god doesn't want you to carry around the weight of
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  • Sins he's already forgiven.
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  • In his bestselling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
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  • Jeffress helps you live beyond the would-haves, could-haves,
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  • And should-haves to embrace the future god has planned for you.
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  • You can't undo the past, but there's plenty you can do to
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  • Reshape tomorrow and eternity.
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  • Discover the biblical secrets for regret-free living when you
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  • Request the book, "say goodbye to regret."
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  • Thank you for giving generously to "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Jeffress: i partnered with the barna research group, and we did
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  • A national survey on the subject of forgiveness among
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  • American christians.
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  • And in our survey, we found that most christians have an
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  • Unbiblical understanding of forgiveness.
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  • They don't understand what it is.
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  • And there are four fallacies that keep many christians as
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  • Prisoners of regrets over the hurts of others.
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  • Let me mention those four myths about forgiveness, four
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  • Fallacies about forgiveness, that may truly be keeping you
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  • From forgiving that person in your life who needs to
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  • Be forgiven.
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  • Fallacy number one, forgiveness must be earned.
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  • "you just can't let that offender off the hook,"
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  • We think.
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  • "why, that's not right!
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  • You can't let him go unpunished.
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  • It's not right for you.
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  • It's really not right for him.
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  • He has to earn forgiveness."
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  • But here's the problem.
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  • There are really two problems with that idea of thinking your
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  • Offender can earn your forgiveness.
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  • First of all, earning forgiveness is really impossible
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  • When you think about it.
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  • Remember what jesus said in the sermon on the mount?
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  • You've heard it say, "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,
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  • But i say to you, don't resist the one who does evil," and
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  • So forth.
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  • You know, we think of that as a barbaric rule, an eye for an
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  • Eye, a tooth for a tooth.
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  • But really it was a law.
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  • We call it lex talionis, the law of retribution, that was given
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  • To keep order in society.
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  • In other words, the punishment should not be any greater than
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  • A crime.
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  • It shouldn't be a life for an eye.
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  • It's an eye for an eye.
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  • It's not a tooth for a toenail.
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  • It's not a truth for a toenail.
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  • It's a tooth for a tooth.
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  • In other words, you measure the punishment.
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  • But here's the problem.
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  • Gandhi pointed out the problem with an eye for an eye and a
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  • Tooth for a tooth is that eventually everybody turns out
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  • Blind and toothless.
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  • There's got to be a better way.
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  • And in the end, when you've lost your tooth, you've still lost
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  • Your tooth.
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  • You lose your eye, you've lost your eye.
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  • It's really impossible to earn forgiveness.
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  • For example, what could somebody pay back to you to make up for a
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  • Child killed by a drunk driver?
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  • How could anybody repay you for a marriage that is torn apart
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  • By adultery?
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  • How do you repay for a reputation that has been lost
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  • Through slander?
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  • Once it's lost, it's lost.
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  • What do you do about that?
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  • It's impossible to earn forgiveness.
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  • Secondly, and this is key, earning forgiveness really binds
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  • You to your offender.
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  • It makes you a partner with your offender when you're waiting on
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  • Them to do something before you free yourself from the prison
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  • Of regrets.
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  • I remember reading about a man named kevin tunell.
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  • In 1982, he was convicted of drunk driving that resulted in
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  • The death of an 18-year-old girl.
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  • The family wanted $1.5 million to be paid for restitution.
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  • They didn't get that.
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  • Instead, they got $936.
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  • But this is what the court ordered.
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  • They ordered that kevin tunell would pay that debt $1 at
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  • A time.
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  • Every week on friday, the day of the girl's death, he was
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  • Required to send the family a check for $1, and he had to do
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  • That for 936 weeks.
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  • The punishment was obvious.
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  • The court wanted kevin to remember every week what he had
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  • Done to extinguish the life of this girl.
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  • But here's the problem.
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  • He mailed the check, but the family was forced every week to
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  • Open the mailbox and remember what had happened to
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  • Their daughter.
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  • And after 936 weeks after the payment was made, they still
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  • Didn't have their daughter back.
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  • You see, when you require your offender to do something, you
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  • Are making yourself a prisoner to them.
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  • You remember--maybe you've been to those old-fashioned picnics
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  • Before and remember the--for the games, they sometimes have the
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  • Three-legged races, and you would have your leg bound to a
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  • Partner, and y'all would hobble down to the finish
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  • Line together.
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  • You'd try to go as fast as you could, but you couldn't do it.
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  • And if you ever had a thought like i did, i would think how
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  • Can i get loose from this jerk so i can get further and faster?
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  • But you see, three-legged races don't allow for solo contenders.
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  • You have to have a partner.
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  • You can travel no farther or faster than he's able to.
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  • It's the same way when you require that your offender ask
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  • For forgiveness or earn your forgiveness.
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  • You are making yourself emotionally bound to that
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  • Other person.
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  • You can travel no farther or faster in life than they're
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  • Willing to go.
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  • But forgiveness is the process by which we separate ourself
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  • From our offender.
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  • We say, "what you did was wrong."
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  • If we don't say it out loud, we say it in our hearts, "you
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  • Did wrong.
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  • You deserve to suffer for what you did, but i'm gonna let god
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  • Deal with you.
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  • I'm gonna be free of you so i can get on with my life."
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  • That's what forgiveness does.
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  • Earning forgiveness binds you to your offender.
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  • There's a second mistake that many people have about their
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  • Thinking of forgiveness.
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  • They think that forgiveness is a one-time act.
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  • We think that we can forgive a person once for all and never
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  • Have to deal with it again.
  • 00:07:30.206 --> 00:07:32.475
  • But did you know that outside of becoming a christian, there
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  • Really are no one-time decisions about anything that's important
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  • In life?
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  • I mean, somebody decides they're going to quit smoking.
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  • But if you've ever had that experience, you know, you can
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  • Make that decision.
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  • You may be successful in it.
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  • But that decision doesn't quench your desire for nicotine.
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  • It's something you battle with for weeks, for months, perhaps
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  • For the rest of your life.
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  • Or you can make a decision in your marriage.
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  • When you are married to somebody, you make a vow that
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  • You shall be faithful to them and to them alone till death
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  • Shall part you, and you're sincere about it.
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  • But at some point in your marriage, you'll be tempted to
  • 00:08:10.613 --> 00:08:12.782
  • Break that marriage vow, and you have to remake that commitment.
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  • All of us who are christians drift in our relationship with
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  • God, and one day we decide to rededicate our lives to christ.
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  • That's important.
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  • Those decisions are important, but we know it's not a once for
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  • All decision.
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  • The tendency is to drift again.
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  • And so it is with forgiveness.
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  • There's no one-time act of forgiveness.
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  • It's something you will struggle with with that same person for
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  • That same offense many times later.
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  • That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them.
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  • It just means you have to keep on forgiving them.
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  • Do you remember the late corrie ten boom, who wrote the book,
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  • "the hiding place"?
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  • She writes about having difficulty continuing to
  • 00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:03.499
  • Remember what a nazi soldier had done to her in the concentration
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  • Camp at ravensbruck, how he had mistreated corrie and her
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  • Sister, betsy.
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  • And for several weeks, she struggled because she couldn't
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  • Forget this, and she was afraid that it meant she had not
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  • Forgiven the soldier.
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  • She writes, "god's help came to me in the form of a kindly
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  • Lutheran pastor, to whom i confessed my failure after two
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  • Sleepless weeks.
  • 00:09:32.495 --> 00:09:34.397
  • He said, ‘up in that church tower,' and he pointed to the
  • 00:09:34.397 --> 00:09:37.800
  • Church tower, ‘is a bell, which is run by a sexton pulling on
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  • The rope.
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  • The bell keeps on ringing, even after the sexton has let go of
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  • The rope.
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  • First ding, then dong, slower and slower, until there's a
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  • Final dong, and it finally stops.
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  • I believe the same things are true of forgiveness.
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  • When we forgive, we take our hand off the rope.
  • 00:10:01.924 --> 00:10:06.028
  • But if we've been tugging at our grievances for a long time, we
  • 00:10:06.028 --> 00:10:11.000
  • Shouldn't be surprised if the old angry thoughts keep coming
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  • For a while.
  • 00:10:14.303 --> 00:10:15.638
  • They're just the ding-dongs of the old bell slowing down.'"
  • 00:10:15.638 --> 00:10:20.576
  • And so, corrie said, "it proved to be true.
  • 00:10:20.576 --> 00:10:23.145
  • There were a few more midnight reverberations, a couple of
  • 00:10:23.145 --> 00:10:27.016
  • Dings when the subject came up in my conversations, but they
  • 00:10:27.016 --> 00:10:30.586
  • Came less and less often, and at last, they stopped altogether.
  • 00:10:30.586 --> 00:10:35.491
  • And so i discovered another secret of forgiveness.
  • 00:10:35.491 --> 00:10:38.594
  • We can trust god, not only above our emotions, but also above
  • 00:10:38.594 --> 00:10:43.999
  • Our thoughts."
  • 00:10:43.999 --> 00:10:45.935
  • Isn't that great?
  • 00:10:45.935 --> 00:10:47.870
  • Maybe those ding-dongs will stop in your life.
  • 00:10:47.870 --> 00:10:52.408
  • Maybe they will never stop, but don't miss the point.
  • 00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:55.811
  • Forgiveness is a continual decision.
  • 00:10:55.811 --> 00:10:58.214
  • That's why, when peter said, "lord, how many times shall
  • 00:10:58.214 --> 00:11:00.950
  • We forgive?
  • 00:11:00.950 --> 00:11:02.284
  • Seven times?"
  • 00:11:02.284 --> 00:11:03.652
  • Jesus actually said, "no, 70 times 7."
  • 00:11:03.652 --> 00:11:07.056
  • Forgiveness is not a one-time act.
  • 00:11:07.056 --> 00:11:10.226
  • A third mistake people make and they're thinking about
  • 00:11:10.226 --> 00:11:12.962
  • Forgiveness is that forgiveness is synonymous
  • 00:11:12.962 --> 00:11:16.665
  • With forgive--forgetting.
  • 00:11:16.665 --> 00:11:19.201
  • It is synonymous with forgetting.
  • 00:11:19.201 --> 00:11:20.870
  • We talk about forgive and forget, as if they're the
  • 00:11:20.870 --> 00:11:24.240
  • Same thing.
  • 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:25.608
  • People think, "if i haven't forgotten, then i
  • 00:11:25.608 --> 00:11:27.476
  • Haven't forgiven."
  • 00:11:27.476 --> 00:11:29.812
  • But the two are not the same.
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  • Remember this, forgive--forgetting is a
  • 00:11:32.114 --> 00:11:35.751
  • Biological function.
  • 00:11:35.751 --> 00:11:37.920
  • The reason we forget more and more things, where we put the
  • 00:11:37.920 --> 00:11:41.090
  • Keys and so forth, is our brain grows older and older, and
  • 00:11:41.090 --> 00:11:44.527
  • Things don't fire on all the cylinders like they ought to.
  • 00:11:44.527 --> 00:11:47.997
  • Forgetting is a biological function.
  • 00:11:47.997 --> 00:11:50.733
  • Forgiveness is a spiritual function.
  • 00:11:50.733 --> 00:11:54.937
  • But we shouldn't think that we've got the ability to forget.
  • 00:11:54.937 --> 00:11:58.741
  • We can't forget, and sometimes, when we equate forgiveness with
  • 00:11:58.741 --> 00:12:02.645
  • Forgetting, we think if we can just dismiss something, play
  • 00:12:02.645 --> 00:12:06.515
  • Like it never happened, that's the same as forgiving.
  • 00:12:06.515 --> 00:12:10.019
  • It's not.
  • 00:12:10.019 --> 00:12:11.387
  • In fact, trying to prematurely dismiss or forgive--or forget
  • 00:12:11.387 --> 00:12:17.560
  • Those things done to us can actually short-circuit and
  • 00:12:17.560 --> 00:12:21.697
  • Shortcut the forgiveness process.
  • 00:12:21.697 --> 00:12:24.266
  • Let me illustrate what i mean for you by that, how just
  • 00:12:24.266 --> 00:12:27.436
  • Dismissing something can actually be a hindrance in truly
  • 00:12:27.436 --> 00:12:30.973
  • Forgiving another person.
  • 00:12:30.973 --> 00:12:33.309
  • Two years after amy and i were married, in 1979, we decided to
  • 00:12:33.309 --> 00:12:38.280
  • Buy our first house out in garland, texas.
  • 00:12:38.280 --> 00:12:42.017
  • You remember what interest rates were like in 1979?
  • 00:12:42.017 --> 00:12:45.955
  • The interest rates were 13% on a mortgage, and they would head to
  • 00:12:45.955 --> 00:12:50.626
  • Eventually 18% in 1981, but they were 13%.
  • 00:12:50.626 --> 00:12:56.065
  • And so our real estate agent said, "you know, if you've got a
  • 00:12:56.065 --> 00:12:58.601
  • Family member or somebody who cares about you, maybe you could
  • 00:12:58.601 --> 00:13:01.871
  • Get a second mortgage at a lower rate."
  • 00:13:01.871 --> 00:13:04.907
  • And so i asked my grandfather if he would give us a second
  • 00:13:04.907 --> 00:13:08.544
  • Mortgage, and he said, "yes, and i'll make you a bargain deal,
  • 00:13:08.544 --> 00:13:12.381
  • 9% interest."
  • 00:13:12.381 --> 00:13:15.084
  • And that was a great thing back when interest rates were
  • 00:13:15.084 --> 00:13:17.519
  • 13%, 9%.
  • 00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:18.888
  • So we signed a note with him, and we started making our
  • 00:13:18.888 --> 00:13:22.391
  • Payments every month, and we made those payments for eight
  • 00:13:22.391 --> 00:13:25.094
  • Years, and one day, he said, "robert, you don't need to send
  • 00:13:25.094 --> 00:13:28.297
  • Me any more money.
  • 00:13:28.297 --> 00:13:29.832
  • I'll just forgive the note."
  • 00:13:29.832 --> 00:13:32.001
  • Well, he died a few years later, and amy and i decided to sell
  • 00:13:32.001 --> 00:13:35.938
  • The house.
  • 00:13:35.938 --> 00:13:37.273
  • One big problem, we found out there was not a clear title to
  • 00:13:37.273 --> 00:13:40.776
  • The house.
  • 00:13:40.776 --> 00:13:42.144
  • We couldn't convey it to the buyer.
  • 00:13:42.144 --> 00:13:44.046
  • Why?
  • 00:13:44.046 --> 00:13:45.414
  • Because even though my grandfather had great
  • 00:13:45.414 --> 00:13:46.782
  • Intentions, he had in his mind forgiven the note, he didn't go
  • 00:13:46.782 --> 00:13:50.953
  • Through the proper procedure to have a clear title on
  • 00:13:50.953 --> 00:13:54.690
  • Our property.
  • 00:13:54.690 --> 00:13:56.058
  • And that's why i say just simply dismissing something may cause
  • 00:13:56.058 --> 00:14:00.195
  • You to short circuit the actual steps you need to go through in
  • 00:14:00.195 --> 00:14:05.034
  • Forgiving another person.
  • 00:14:05.034 --> 00:14:06.802
  • Forgiveness is a process.
  • 00:14:06.802 --> 00:14:09.138
  • What kind of steps are you talking about?
  • 00:14:09.138 --> 00:14:11.407
  • Well, first of all, i put it on your outline, you have to admit
  • 00:14:11.407 --> 00:14:15.311
  • That you've been wrong.
  • 00:14:15.311 --> 00:14:16.979
  • If you're gonna forgive somebody, you, first of all,
  • 00:14:16.979 --> 00:14:19.081
  • Have to acknowledge that they have wronged you.
  • 00:14:19.081 --> 00:14:21.951
  • Secondly, you have to acknowledge that your offender
  • 00:14:21.951 --> 00:14:25.154
  • Owes you for his transgression.
  • 00:14:25.154 --> 00:14:28.090
  • You need to calculate what it is that somebody owes you.
  • 00:14:28.090 --> 00:14:31.727
  • I tell people who are trying to forgive, "don't only admit that
  • 00:14:31.727 --> 00:14:35.197
  • You've been wrong.
  • 00:14:35.197 --> 00:14:36.565
  • Calculate the cost."
  • 00:14:36.565 --> 00:14:37.900
  • Maybe that other person deserves a divorce.
  • 00:14:37.900 --> 00:14:42.938
  • Maybe they deserve imprisonment.
  • 00:14:42.938 --> 00:14:45.941
  • Maybe they even deserve the death penalty, but you can't
  • 00:14:45.941 --> 00:14:49.445
  • Forgive a debt until you calculate what that debt is.
  • 00:14:49.445 --> 00:14:53.382
  • And then thirdly, forgiveness is the decision to release your
  • 00:14:53.382 --> 00:14:57.786
  • Offender of his debt to you.
  • 00:14:57.786 --> 00:15:01.256
  • If you don't go through this process, then you'll never reap
  • 00:15:01.256 --> 00:15:04.760
  • The benefits of truly forgiving another person.
  • 00:15:04.760 --> 00:15:07.763
  • We'll see a great biblical illustration of that in just
  • 00:15:07.763 --> 00:15:10.332
  • A moment.
  • 00:15:10.332 --> 00:15:11.667
  • A fourth fallacy people have about forgiveness is the belief
  • 00:15:11.667 --> 00:15:16.138
  • That forgiveness requires reunion.
  • 00:15:16.138 --> 00:15:20.609
  • In other words, if a wife is being physically abused by her
  • 00:15:20.609 --> 00:15:25.280
  • Husband, but she is required to forgive him, that means she has
  • 00:15:25.280 --> 00:15:30.185
  • To go back and live under the same roof as he does and subject
  • 00:15:30.185 --> 00:15:33.856
  • Herself to that same punishment.
  • 00:15:33.856 --> 00:15:36.058
  • If you forgive a cheating mate, that means you have to
  • 00:15:36.058 --> 00:15:39.528
  • Just overlook any future infidelities
  • 00:15:39.528 --> 00:15:42.865
  • In your relationship.
  • 00:15:42.865 --> 00:15:45.034
  • If you decide to hire back an employee who has
  • 00:15:45.034 --> 00:15:51.373
  • Embezzled money from you, if you forgive them that means you
  • 00:15:51.373 --> 00:15:55.978
  • Have to keep them employed even if they show
  • 00:15:55.978 --> 00:15:59.114
  • No restitution whatsoever.
  • 00:15:59.114 --> 00:16:01.383
  • None of those things is true.
  • 00:16:01.383 --> 00:16:03.352
  • You can forgive somebody without being reunited with them.
  • 00:16:03.352 --> 00:16:08.023
  • I believe these four fallacies about forgiveness keep many
  • 00:16:08.023 --> 00:16:12.161
  • People from forgiving.
  • 00:16:12.161 --> 00:16:13.662
  • You know who illustrates probably better than anyone in
  • 00:16:13.662 --> 00:16:16.432
  • The old testament those principles of forgiveness is
  • 00:16:16.432 --> 00:16:20.102
  • That character, joseph.
  • 00:16:20.102 --> 00:16:21.437
  • Now we've did a long study on joseph.
  • 00:16:21.437 --> 00:16:23.872
  • I'm not gonna rehash the story.
  • 00:16:23.872 --> 00:16:25.574
  • Just remember the basics.
  • 00:16:25.574 --> 00:16:27.142
  • He was one of the 12 sons of jacob.
  • 00:16:27.142 --> 00:16:29.611
  • He was the favorite son.
  • 00:16:29.611 --> 00:16:31.146
  • Because of that, his brothers were jealous.
  • 00:16:31.146 --> 00:16:33.148
  • They threw him into a pit to have him sold as a slave.
  • 00:16:33.148 --> 00:16:36.618
  • They left him for being dead, but god used that great betrayal
  • 00:16:36.618 --> 00:16:42.157
  • To put joseph exactly where god wanted him to be, in egypt, as
  • 00:16:42.157 --> 00:16:46.595
  • Pharaoh's right-hand man.
  • 00:16:46.595 --> 00:16:48.730
  • And because of joseph's prominence, he was able to
  • 00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:53.235
  • Devise that plan to save not just egypt but the entire world
  • 00:16:53.235 --> 00:16:57.406
  • From the famine by setting aside part of the grain for the time
  • 00:16:57.406 --> 00:17:01.076
  • Of famine, and it was a famine that would cause joseph's
  • 00:17:01.076 --> 00:17:04.780
  • Brothers, who had forgotten about him, to have to come to
  • 00:17:04.780 --> 00:17:07.683
  • Egypt to buy the grain.
  • 00:17:07.683 --> 00:17:09.051
  • Little did they know they would be making their appeal to the
  • 00:17:09.051 --> 00:17:12.421
  • Very brother whom they thought they had killed.
  • 00:17:12.421 --> 00:17:15.924
  • And we've got this remarkable scene in genesis 50.
  • 00:17:15.924 --> 00:17:19.728
  • The brothers were there.
  • 00:17:19.728 --> 00:17:21.063
  • Joseph reveals himself to his brothers.
  • 00:17:21.063 --> 00:17:23.499
  • They're scared to death.
  • 00:17:23.499 --> 00:17:25.334
  • "joseph said to them, ‘do not be afraid, for am i not in
  • 00:17:25.334 --> 00:17:28.937
  • God's place?
  • 00:17:28.937 --> 00:17:30.272
  • As for you, you meant evil against me, but god meant it for
  • 00:17:30.272 --> 00:17:34.176
  • Good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve
  • 00:17:34.176 --> 00:17:37.980
  • Many people alive.
  • 00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:39.515
  • So therefore, do not be afraid; i will provide for you and your
  • 00:17:39.515 --> 00:17:44.486
  • Little ones.'"
  • 00:17:44.486 --> 00:17:46.021
  • Notice the three steps of genuine forgiveness
  • 00:17:46.021 --> 00:17:49.591
  • That joseph illustrates.
  • 00:17:49.591 --> 00:17:51.360
  • First of all, genuine forgiveness admits you have
  • 00:17:51.360 --> 00:17:55.264
  • Been wronged.
  • 00:17:55.264 --> 00:17:56.632
  • Joseph didn't say to his brothers, "oh brothers, let's
  • 00:17:56.632 --> 00:17:59.134
  • Just forget what happened to you and what you did to me.
  • 00:17:59.134 --> 00:18:02.304
  • You must have just been having a bad day.
  • 00:18:02.304 --> 00:18:04.506
  • We'll forgive and forget."
  • 00:18:04.506 --> 00:18:06.275
  • No, he's very honest with them.
  • 00:18:06.275 --> 00:18:07.776
  • He said, "you meant it for evil.
  • 00:18:07.776 --> 00:18:11.079
  • What you did was wrong."
  • 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:13.982
  • Remember this, you cannot forgive people you're not
  • 00:18:13.982 --> 00:18:17.386
  • Willing to blame.
  • 00:18:17.386 --> 00:18:19.121
  • You have to blame people before you can forgive them.
  • 00:18:19.121 --> 00:18:22.457
  • You don't have to sugarcoat anything.
  • 00:18:22.457 --> 00:18:24.726
  • Joseph's brother said, "you meant it for evil."
  • 00:18:24.726 --> 00:18:27.829
  • Genuine forgiveness admits you have been wronged.
  • 00:18:27.829 --> 00:18:30.766
  • Secondly, genuine forgiveness acknowledges a debt is owed.
  • 00:18:30.766 --> 00:18:36.004
  • When joseph said, "do not be afraid," he was basically
  • 00:18:36.004 --> 00:18:40.042
  • Saying, "you have every right to be afraid.
  • 00:18:40.042 --> 00:18:41.810
  • I'm the big cheese now here in egypt.
  • 00:18:41.810 --> 00:18:44.379
  • I could have you executed if i wanted to.
  • 00:18:44.379 --> 00:18:47.115
  • You have every right to be afraid."
  • 00:18:47.115 --> 00:18:49.685
  • Genuine forgiveness acknowledges a debt is owed.
  • 00:18:49.685 --> 00:18:53.655
  • Again, you have to calculate what that other person deserves
  • 00:18:53.655 --> 00:18:57.059
  • Before you release them of those consequences.
  • 00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:59.861
  • And thirdly, genuine forgiveness releases your offender of
  • 00:18:59.861 --> 00:19:04.666
  • Their debt.
  • 00:19:04.666 --> 00:19:06.268
  • It releases them of your debt.
  • 00:19:06.268 --> 00:19:07.736
  • When joseph said, "you don't need to be afraid.
  • 00:19:07.736 --> 00:19:10.372
  • I'm not going to kill you, but instead i'm going to give you
  • 00:19:10.372 --> 00:19:13.976
  • What you don't deserve, the choicest land of egypt, the land
  • 00:19:13.976 --> 00:19:17.379
  • Of goshen," he was demonstrating that he had released them of
  • 00:19:17.379 --> 00:19:21.250
  • Their debt.
  • 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:22.584
  • Now, when you forgive somebody, you release them of your right
  • 00:19:22.584 --> 00:19:27.055
  • To hurt them for hurting you.
  • 00:19:27.055 --> 00:19:28.824
  • Doesn't mean you give up your desire for justice.
  • 00:19:28.824 --> 00:19:31.460
  • God, the government, somebody else may want to deal with them,
  • 00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:34.429
  • But you're surrendering your right to seek vengeance
  • 00:19:34.429 --> 00:19:37.833
  • Against them.
  • 00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:39.301
  • You know, this is such a remarkable story.
  • 00:19:39.301 --> 00:19:42.471
  • I've often wondered how did joseph conjure up
  • 00:19:42.471 --> 00:19:49.044
  • That forgiveness?
  • 00:19:49.044 --> 00:19:51.213
  • He had never read "when forgiveness doesn't make sense."
  • 00:19:51.213 --> 00:19:53.915
  • How did he know how to do that?
  • 00:19:53.915 --> 00:19:56.818
  • Where did that come from?
  • 00:19:56.818 --> 00:19:58.854
  • I think part of it's telling in what joseph said in his
  • 00:19:58.854 --> 00:20:02.557
  • First conversation with his brothers in genesis 45, he said,
  • 00:20:02.557 --> 00:20:07.629
  • "do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me
  • 00:20:07.629 --> 00:20:11.199
  • Here, for god sent me before you to preserve life.
  • 00:20:11.199 --> 00:20:14.303
  • God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in
  • 00:20:14.303 --> 00:20:17.773
  • The earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance.
  • 00:20:17.773 --> 00:20:21.043
  • Now, for, it was not you who sent me here, but god," hear
  • 00:20:21.043 --> 00:20:24.913
  • That over and over again, you did this but god but god but
  • 00:20:24.913 --> 00:20:27.983
  • God, “it was not you who sent me here, but god; and he has made
  • 00:20:27.983 --> 00:20:32.120
  • Me a father to pharaoh and lord of all of his household, and
  • 00:20:32.120 --> 00:20:35.223
  • Ruler over all the land of egypt.”
  • 00:20:35.223 --> 00:20:39.027
  • Joseph was able to see the hand of god in these offenses.
  • 00:20:39.027 --> 00:20:43.832
  • Joseph believed in a god who was bigger than the ones who had
  • 00:20:43.832 --> 00:20:48.403
  • Hurt him.
  • 00:20:48.403 --> 00:20:49.838
  • And ladies and gentlemen, you will never be able to forgive,
  • 00:20:49.838 --> 00:20:53.375
  • Truly forgive, until you come to the conclusion that god is
  • 00:20:53.375 --> 00:20:57.145
  • Bigger than your offender.
  • 00:20:57.145 --> 00:20:59.448
  • God can take the worst things that have happened to you and
  • 00:20:59.448 --> 00:21:03.618
  • Use them for his good and his glory.
  • 00:21:03.618 --> 00:21:07.222
  • That's the key to forgiveness.
  • 00:21:07.222 --> 00:21:09.725
  • I think part of that was joseph was able to see how god was able
  • 00:21:09.725 --> 00:21:14.229
  • To work through those injustices.
  • 00:21:14.229 --> 00:21:16.365
  • Little did he know how that would ultimately play out.
  • 00:21:16.365 --> 00:21:20.635
  • I mean, we're still feeling the reverberations of his decision
  • 00:21:20.635 --> 00:21:24.106
  • To forgive.
  • 00:21:24.106 --> 00:21:25.440
  • I mean, think about it.
  • 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:26.775
  • If he hadn't forgiven his brothers and said, "no, you
  • 00:21:26.775 --> 00:21:28.977
  • Can't have any grain," what would have happened?
  • 00:21:28.977 --> 00:21:32.214
  • The brothers would have starved to death.
  • 00:21:32.214 --> 00:21:34.449
  • If the brothers had starved to death, they were the nucleus of
  • 00:21:34.449 --> 00:21:37.853
  • The nation of israel.
  • 00:21:37.853 --> 00:21:39.221
  • If there had been no grain, there would have been
  • 00:21:39.221 --> 00:21:41.056
  • No brothers.
  • 00:21:41.056 --> 00:21:42.391
  • If there'd been no brothers, there had been no israel.
  • 00:21:42.391 --> 00:21:43.759
  • If there were no israel, there would be no messiah.
  • 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:46.395
  • If there was no messiah who had to come from israel, there would
  • 00:21:46.395 --> 00:21:49.464
  • Have been no salvation, and you and i today would be dead in our
  • 00:21:49.464 --> 00:21:52.834
  • Trespasses and sins.
  • 00:21:52.834 --> 00:21:55.170
  • We are saved today, when you think about it, because of one
  • 00:21:55.170 --> 00:21:59.541
  • Man's choice to forgive.
  • 00:21:59.541 --> 00:22:03.378
  • I think that was his main motivation, but i think there's
  • 00:22:03.378 --> 00:22:06.882
  • Another secret to it.
  • 00:22:06.882 --> 00:22:08.683
  • It's found in genesis 45:2, "when he first saw the
  • 00:22:08.683 --> 00:22:11.920
  • Brothers,” the bible said, “he wept so loudly that the
  • 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:15.357
  • Egyptians heard it, and the household of pharaoh heard of it
  • 00:22:15.357 --> 00:22:19.227
  • As well."
  • 00:22:19.227 --> 00:22:21.763
  • Joseph knew what it was like to be a prisoner.
  • 00:22:21.763 --> 00:22:23.965
  • He had been unfairly in prison for the rape of potiphar's wife.
  • 00:22:23.965 --> 00:22:29.104
  • He knew the exhilaration that came from being freed finally
  • 00:22:29.104 --> 00:22:32.808
  • From that prison, but he was still a prisoner of hurt.
  • 00:22:32.808 --> 00:22:38.079
  • I think of bitterness as the years unfolded, as he thought
  • 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:42.551
  • About his brothers and what they had done to him, and tired of
  • 00:22:42.551 --> 00:22:47.222
  • That bitterness, tired of those regrets, he made that decision
  • 00:22:47.222 --> 00:22:51.359
  • To forgive.
  • 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:53.628
  • Are you ready to be freed from that prison of regrets?
  • 00:22:53.628 --> 00:22:59.634
  • Are you tired of being shackled to that person who hurt you
  • 00:22:59.634 --> 00:23:03.371
  • Maybe many years ago?
  • 00:23:03.371 --> 00:23:06.575
  • Forgiveness is the key that will set you free to live the life
  • 00:23:06.575 --> 00:23:11.513
  • God has planned for you.
  • 00:23:11.513 --> 00:23:14.349
  • Lewis smedes says it best when he says, "when we forgive, we
  • 00:23:14.349 --> 00:23:20.188
  • Set the prisoner free, and the prisoner we set free is us."
  • 00:23:20.188 --> 00:23:28.363
  • Jeffress: let's allow that question to linger in our minds.
  • 00:23:32.501 --> 00:23:36.004
  • Are you ready to be freed from the prison of regrets?
  • 00:23:36.004 --> 00:23:39.674
  • I certainly hope so.
  • 00:23:39.674 --> 00:23:41.643
  • Well, every time i watch the news or read the latest
  • 00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:44.412
  • Headlines, i'm reminded that our nation and world are spinning
  • 00:23:44.412 --> 00:23:48.083
  • Out of control.
  • 00:23:48.083 --> 00:23:49.417
  • People have lost confidence in human leadership, and they're
  • 00:23:49.417 --> 00:23:52.954
  • Becoming distracted by every whim of this world.
  • 00:23:52.954 --> 00:23:56.057
  • But here's the good news, jesus christ is still in control.
  • 00:23:56.057 --> 00:24:00.795
  • He's our only hope, and every day on "pathway to victory,"
  • 00:24:00.795 --> 00:24:04.666
  • We're blanketing the globe with clear and hope-filled
  • 00:24:04.666 --> 00:24:08.637
  • Bible teaching.
  • 00:24:08.637 --> 00:24:09.971
  • With all the chaos in our world, our ministry together has never
  • 00:24:09.971 --> 00:24:14.109
  • Been more important than it is right now.
  • 00:24:14.109 --> 00:24:16.711
  • So thank you for your continued support of "pathway to victory."
  • 00:24:16.711 --> 00:24:21.283
  • Now, stay right there.
  • 00:24:21.283 --> 00:24:22.617
  • I'll be back with a word of encouragement in just a moment.
  • 00:24:22.617 --> 00:24:26.321
  • Announcer: what if your doctor were to say you had only six
  • 00:24:26.388 --> 00:24:29.124
  • Months left to live?
  • 00:24:29.124 --> 00:24:30.559
  • Would you have any regrets in your life?
  • 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:32.627
  • In his best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
  • 00:24:32.627 --> 00:24:36.298
  • Jeffress shares biblical principles for dealing with
  • 00:24:36.298 --> 00:24:38.700
  • Regrets from your past and preventing regrets in
  • 00:24:38.700 --> 00:24:41.403
  • The future.
  • 00:24:41.403 --> 00:24:42.737
  • Jeffress: regret is one of life's most painful and
  • 00:24:42.737 --> 00:24:45.640
  • Unnecessary emotions, and in my best selling book, "say goodbye
  • 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:49.711
  • To regret," i'll help you turn those if-onlys into successful
  • 00:24:49.711 --> 00:24:54.215
  • Lessons in living.
  • 00:24:54.215 --> 00:24:55.951
  • Announcer: it's time to move forward, satisfied with the life
  • 00:24:55.951 --> 00:24:59.120
  • You're living.
  • 00:24:59.120 --> 00:25:00.522
  • Request your copy of "say goodbye to regret" when you give
  • 00:25:00.522 --> 00:25:03.358
  • A generous gift to "pathway to victory."
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  • In the pages of this highly practical book, you'll discover
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  • The biblical keys to leaving behind regrets about
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  • Relationships, your marriage, finances, and more.
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  • And when you give $75 or more, we'll also send you the complete
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  • "say goodbye to regret" teaching series on
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  • Dvd video and mp3 format audio disc.
  • 00:25:22.677 --> 00:25:26.581
  • Jeffress: one of the heaviest weights, other than sin,
  • 00:25:26.581 --> 00:25:29.918
  • Is regret.
  • 00:25:29.918 --> 00:25:31.252
  • Regrets are not the problem in and of themselves, they are an
  • 00:25:31.252 --> 00:25:34.556
  • Indicator of a problem that needs to be dealt with.
  • 00:25:34.556 --> 00:25:38.927
  • Announcer: thank you for helping "pathway to victory"
  • 00:25:38.994 --> 00:25:41.329
  • Proclaim the redemptive power of jesus christ to a world in need.
  • 00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:45.467
  • Together, we are broadcasting the message of god's love
  • 00:25:45.467 --> 00:25:48.670
  • And forgiveness, biblical hope, and life transforming power
  • 00:25:48.670 --> 00:25:52.173
  • Across the country and around the world.
  • 00:25:52.173 --> 00:25:55.910
  • Jeffress: perhaps you've been a prisoner of bitterness for far
  • 00:25:58.346 --> 00:26:01.282
  • Too long, maybe it's been months, years, even decades.
  • 00:26:01.282 --> 00:26:05.920
  • Regardless of the offense or the offender, you don't need to live
  • 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:10.225
  • One more day weighed down by regret.
  • 00:26:10.225 --> 00:26:13.862
  • Today, with the help of god's holy spirit, you can be freed
  • 00:26:13.862 --> 00:26:17.532
  • From the chains of unforgiveness.
  • 00:26:17.532 --> 00:26:20.435
  • Well, it's easy to become distracted with the demands of
  • 00:26:20.435 --> 00:26:23.672
  • Daily living.
  • 00:26:23.672 --> 00:26:25.040
  • So next time, i'm going to help you refocus on spiritual things
  • 00:26:25.040 --> 00:26:29.044
  • That matter in the grand scheme of eternity.
  • 00:26:29.044 --> 00:26:32.313
  • Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in our
  • 00:26:32.313 --> 00:26:35.083
  • Series, "say goodbye to regret."
  • 00:26:35.083 --> 00:26:39.688
  • Jeffress: god is sovereign.
  • 00:26:39.688 --> 00:26:41.556
  • He is in control.
  • 00:26:41.556 --> 00:26:43.158
  • There is nothing that happens in the universe apart from his
  • 00:26:43.158 --> 00:26:46.661
  • Permission, and he is sovereign over your life as well.
  • 00:26:46.661 --> 00:26:50.932
  • He is in control of your steps, your missteps, and
  • 00:26:50.932 --> 00:26:54.402
  • Your stumbles.
  • 00:26:54.402 --> 00:26:55.804
  • There's nothing you do that surprises god.
  • 00:26:55.804 --> 00:26:59.708
  • You know, one of the great verses about that is psalm 139,
  • 00:26:59.708 --> 00:27:02.877
  • Verse 16.
  • 00:27:02.877 --> 00:27:04.746
  • David said, "and in your book, oh god, were written all the
  • 00:27:04.746 --> 00:27:08.983
  • Days of my life before there was one of them."
  • 00:27:08.983 --> 00:27:12.921
  • Announcer: set your dvr and join us next time for the message,
  • 00:27:12.921 --> 00:27:16.224
  • "say goodbye to spiritual regrets," here on
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  • "pathway to victory."
  • 00:27:19.461 --> 00:27:28.703