Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Relationship Regrets | May 20, 2025
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- ♪♪♪
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- Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church of
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- Dallas, texas, this is "pathway to victory" with dr.
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- Robert jeffress.
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- Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress, and welcome
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- Again to "pathway to victory."
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- Few topics are more personal than the issue of forgiveness.
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- We've all felt the sting of being wronged by another, and we
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- All know the struggle of letting go of resentment.
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- Today, i'm going to refute four fallacies about forgiveness that
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- Keep us from moving on, and then i'll share three principles to
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- Help you exercise genuine biblical forgiveness.
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- My message is titled "say goodbye to relationship regrets"
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- On today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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- ♪♪♪
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- Announcer: god doesn't want you to carry around the weight of
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- Sins he's already forgiven.
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- In his bestselling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
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- Jeffress helps you live beyond the would-haves, could-haves,
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- And should-haves to embrace the future god has planned for you.
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- You can't undo the past, but there's plenty you can do to
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- Reshape tomorrow and eternity.
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- Discover the biblical secrets for regret-free living when you
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- Request the book, "say goodbye to regret."
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- Thank you for giving generously to "pathway to victory."
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- ♪♪♪
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- Jeffress: i partnered with the barna research group, and we did
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- A national survey on the subject of forgiveness among
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- American christians.
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- And in our survey, we found that most christians have an
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- Unbiblical understanding of forgiveness.
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- They don't understand what it is.
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- And there are four fallacies that keep many christians as
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- Prisoners of regrets over the hurts of others.
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- Let me mention those four myths about forgiveness, four
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- Fallacies about forgiveness, that may truly be keeping you
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- From forgiving that person in your life who needs to
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- Be forgiven.
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- Fallacy number one, forgiveness must be earned.
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- "you just can't let that offender off the hook,"
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- We think.
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- "why, that's not right!
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- You can't let him go unpunished.
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- It's not right for you.
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- It's really not right for him.
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- He has to earn forgiveness."
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- But here's the problem.
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- There are really two problems with that idea of thinking your
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- Offender can earn your forgiveness.
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- First of all, earning forgiveness is really impossible
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- When you think about it.
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- Remember what jesus said in the sermon on the mount?
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- You've heard it say, "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,
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- But i say to you, don't resist the one who does evil," and
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- So forth.
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- You know, we think of that as a barbaric rule, an eye for an
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- Eye, a tooth for a tooth.
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- But really it was a law.
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- We call it lex talionis, the law of retribution, that was given
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- To keep order in society.
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- In other words, the punishment should not be any greater than
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- A crime.
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- It shouldn't be a life for an eye.
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- It's an eye for an eye.
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- It's not a tooth for a toenail.
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- It's not a truth for a toenail.
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- It's a tooth for a tooth.
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- In other words, you measure the punishment.
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- But here's the problem.
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- Gandhi pointed out the problem with an eye for an eye and a
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- Tooth for a tooth is that eventually everybody turns out
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- Blind and toothless.
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- There's got to be a better way.
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- And in the end, when you've lost your tooth, you've still lost
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- Your tooth.
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- You lose your eye, you've lost your eye.
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- It's really impossible to earn forgiveness.
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- For example, what could somebody pay back to you to make up for a
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- Child killed by a drunk driver?
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- How could anybody repay you for a marriage that is torn apart
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- By adultery?
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- How do you repay for a reputation that has been lost
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- Through slander?
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- Once it's lost, it's lost.
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- What do you do about that?
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- It's impossible to earn forgiveness.
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- Secondly, and this is key, earning forgiveness really binds
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- You to your offender.
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- It makes you a partner with your offender when you're waiting on
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- Them to do something before you free yourself from the prison
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- Of regrets.
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- I remember reading about a man named kevin tunell.
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- In 1982, he was convicted of drunk driving that resulted in
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- The death of an 18-year-old girl.
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- The family wanted $1.5 million to be paid for restitution.
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- They didn't get that.
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- Instead, they got $936.
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- But this is what the court ordered.
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- They ordered that kevin tunell would pay that debt $1 at
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- A time.
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- Every week on friday, the day of the girl's death, he was
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- Required to send the family a check for $1, and he had to do
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- That for 936 weeks.
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- The punishment was obvious.
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- The court wanted kevin to remember every week what he had
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- Done to extinguish the life of this girl.
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- But here's the problem.
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- He mailed the check, but the family was forced every week to
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- Open the mailbox and remember what had happened to
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- Their daughter.
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- And after 936 weeks after the payment was made, they still
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- Didn't have their daughter back.
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- You see, when you require your offender to do something, you
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- Are making yourself a prisoner to them.
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- You remember--maybe you've been to those old-fashioned picnics
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- Before and remember the--for the games, they sometimes have the
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- Three-legged races, and you would have your leg bound to a
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- Partner, and y'all would hobble down to the finish
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- Line together.
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- You'd try to go as fast as you could, but you couldn't do it.
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- And if you ever had a thought like i did, i would think how
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- Can i get loose from this jerk so i can get further and faster?
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- But you see, three-legged races don't allow for solo contenders.
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- You have to have a partner.
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- You can travel no farther or faster than he's able to.
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- It's the same way when you require that your offender ask
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- For forgiveness or earn your forgiveness.
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- You are making yourself emotionally bound to that
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- Other person.
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- You can travel no farther or faster in life than they're
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- Willing to go.
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- But forgiveness is the process by which we separate ourself
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- From our offender.
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- We say, "what you did was wrong."
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- If we don't say it out loud, we say it in our hearts, "you
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- Did wrong.
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- You deserve to suffer for what you did, but i'm gonna let god
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- Deal with you.
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- I'm gonna be free of you so i can get on with my life."
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- That's what forgiveness does.
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- Earning forgiveness binds you to your offender.
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- There's a second mistake that many people have about their
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- Thinking of forgiveness.
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- They think that forgiveness is a one-time act.
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- We think that we can forgive a person once for all and never
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- Have to deal with it again.
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- But did you know that outside of becoming a christian, there
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- Really are no one-time decisions about anything that's important
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- In life?
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- I mean, somebody decides they're going to quit smoking.
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- But if you've ever had that experience, you know, you can
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- Make that decision.
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- You may be successful in it.
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- But that decision doesn't quench your desire for nicotine.
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- It's something you battle with for weeks, for months, perhaps
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- For the rest of your life.
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- Or you can make a decision in your marriage.
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- When you are married to somebody, you make a vow that
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- You shall be faithful to them and to them alone till death
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- Shall part you, and you're sincere about it.
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- But at some point in your marriage, you'll be tempted to
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- Break that marriage vow, and you have to remake that commitment.
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- All of us who are christians drift in our relationship with
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- God, and one day we decide to rededicate our lives to christ.
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- That's important.
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- Those decisions are important, but we know it's not a once for
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- All decision.
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- The tendency is to drift again.
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- And so it is with forgiveness.
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- There's no one-time act of forgiveness.
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- It's something you will struggle with with that same person for
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- That same offense many times later.
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- That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them.
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- It just means you have to keep on forgiving them.
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- Do you remember the late corrie ten boom, who wrote the book,
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- "the hiding place"?
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- She writes about having difficulty continuing to
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- Remember what a nazi soldier had done to her in the concentration
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- Camp at ravensbruck, how he had mistreated corrie and her
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- Sister, betsy.
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- And for several weeks, she struggled because she couldn't
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- Forget this, and she was afraid that it meant she had not
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- Forgiven the soldier.
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- She writes, "god's help came to me in the form of a kindly
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- Lutheran pastor, to whom i confessed my failure after two
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- Sleepless weeks.
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- He said, ‘up in that church tower,' and he pointed to the
- 00:09:34.397 --> 00:09:37.800
- Church tower, ‘is a bell, which is run by a sexton pulling on
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- The rope.
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- The bell keeps on ringing, even after the sexton has let go of
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- The rope.
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- First ding, then dong, slower and slower, until there's a
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- Final dong, and it finally stops.
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- I believe the same things are true of forgiveness.
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- When we forgive, we take our hand off the rope.
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- But if we've been tugging at our grievances for a long time, we
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- Shouldn't be surprised if the old angry thoughts keep coming
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- For a while.
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- They're just the ding-dongs of the old bell slowing down.'"
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- And so, corrie said, "it proved to be true.
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- There were a few more midnight reverberations, a couple of
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- Dings when the subject came up in my conversations, but they
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- Came less and less often, and at last, they stopped altogether.
- 00:10:30.586 --> 00:10:35.491
- And so i discovered another secret of forgiveness.
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- We can trust god, not only above our emotions, but also above
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- Our thoughts."
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- Isn't that great?
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- Maybe those ding-dongs will stop in your life.
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- Maybe they will never stop, but don't miss the point.
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- Forgiveness is a continual decision.
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- That's why, when peter said, "lord, how many times shall
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- We forgive?
- 00:11:00.950 --> 00:11:02.284
- Seven times?"
- 00:11:02.284 --> 00:11:03.652
- Jesus actually said, "no, 70 times 7."
- 00:11:03.652 --> 00:11:07.056
- Forgiveness is not a one-time act.
- 00:11:07.056 --> 00:11:10.226
- A third mistake people make and they're thinking about
- 00:11:10.226 --> 00:11:12.962
- Forgiveness is that forgiveness is synonymous
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- With forgive--forgetting.
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- It is synonymous with forgetting.
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- We talk about forgive and forget, as if they're the
- 00:11:20.870 --> 00:11:24.240
- Same thing.
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- People think, "if i haven't forgotten, then i
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- Haven't forgiven."
- 00:11:27.476 --> 00:11:29.812
- But the two are not the same.
- 00:11:29.812 --> 00:11:32.114
- Remember this, forgive--forgetting is a
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- Biological function.
- 00:11:35.751 --> 00:11:37.920
- The reason we forget more and more things, where we put the
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- Keys and so forth, is our brain grows older and older, and
- 00:11:41.090 --> 00:11:44.527
- Things don't fire on all the cylinders like they ought to.
- 00:11:44.527 --> 00:11:47.997
- Forgetting is a biological function.
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- Forgiveness is a spiritual function.
- 00:11:50.733 --> 00:11:54.937
- But we shouldn't think that we've got the ability to forget.
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- We can't forget, and sometimes, when we equate forgiveness with
- 00:11:58.741 --> 00:12:02.645
- Forgetting, we think if we can just dismiss something, play
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- Like it never happened, that's the same as forgiving.
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- It's not.
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- In fact, trying to prematurely dismiss or forgive--or forget
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- Those things done to us can actually short-circuit and
- 00:12:17.560 --> 00:12:21.697
- Shortcut the forgiveness process.
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- Let me illustrate what i mean for you by that, how just
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- Dismissing something can actually be a hindrance in truly
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- Forgiving another person.
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- Two years after amy and i were married, in 1979, we decided to
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- Buy our first house out in garland, texas.
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- You remember what interest rates were like in 1979?
- 00:12:42.017 --> 00:12:45.955
- The interest rates were 13% on a mortgage, and they would head to
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- Eventually 18% in 1981, but they were 13%.
- 00:12:50.626 --> 00:12:56.065
- And so our real estate agent said, "you know, if you've got a
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- Family member or somebody who cares about you, maybe you could
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- Get a second mortgage at a lower rate."
- 00:13:01.871 --> 00:13:04.907
- And so i asked my grandfather if he would give us a second
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- Mortgage, and he said, "yes, and i'll make you a bargain deal,
- 00:13:08.544 --> 00:13:12.381
- 9% interest."
- 00:13:12.381 --> 00:13:15.084
- And that was a great thing back when interest rates were
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- 13%, 9%.
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- So we signed a note with him, and we started making our
- 00:13:18.888 --> 00:13:22.391
- Payments every month, and we made those payments for eight
- 00:13:22.391 --> 00:13:25.094
- Years, and one day, he said, "robert, you don't need to send
- 00:13:25.094 --> 00:13:28.297
- Me any more money.
- 00:13:28.297 --> 00:13:29.832
- I'll just forgive the note."
- 00:13:29.832 --> 00:13:32.001
- Well, he died a few years later, and amy and i decided to sell
- 00:13:32.001 --> 00:13:35.938
- The house.
- 00:13:35.938 --> 00:13:37.273
- One big problem, we found out there was not a clear title to
- 00:13:37.273 --> 00:13:40.776
- The house.
- 00:13:40.776 --> 00:13:42.144
- We couldn't convey it to the buyer.
- 00:13:42.144 --> 00:13:44.046
- Why?
- 00:13:44.046 --> 00:13:45.414
- Because even though my grandfather had great
- 00:13:45.414 --> 00:13:46.782
- Intentions, he had in his mind forgiven the note, he didn't go
- 00:13:46.782 --> 00:13:50.953
- Through the proper procedure to have a clear title on
- 00:13:50.953 --> 00:13:54.690
- Our property.
- 00:13:54.690 --> 00:13:56.058
- And that's why i say just simply dismissing something may cause
- 00:13:56.058 --> 00:14:00.195
- You to short circuit the actual steps you need to go through in
- 00:14:00.195 --> 00:14:05.034
- Forgiving another person.
- 00:14:05.034 --> 00:14:06.802
- Forgiveness is a process.
- 00:14:06.802 --> 00:14:09.138
- What kind of steps are you talking about?
- 00:14:09.138 --> 00:14:11.407
- Well, first of all, i put it on your outline, you have to admit
- 00:14:11.407 --> 00:14:15.311
- That you've been wrong.
- 00:14:15.311 --> 00:14:16.979
- If you're gonna forgive somebody, you, first of all,
- 00:14:16.979 --> 00:14:19.081
- Have to acknowledge that they have wronged you.
- 00:14:19.081 --> 00:14:21.951
- Secondly, you have to acknowledge that your offender
- 00:14:21.951 --> 00:14:25.154
- Owes you for his transgression.
- 00:14:25.154 --> 00:14:28.090
- You need to calculate what it is that somebody owes you.
- 00:14:28.090 --> 00:14:31.727
- I tell people who are trying to forgive, "don't only admit that
- 00:14:31.727 --> 00:14:35.197
- You've been wrong.
- 00:14:35.197 --> 00:14:36.565
- Calculate the cost."
- 00:14:36.565 --> 00:14:37.900
- Maybe that other person deserves a divorce.
- 00:14:37.900 --> 00:14:42.938
- Maybe they deserve imprisonment.
- 00:14:42.938 --> 00:14:45.941
- Maybe they even deserve the death penalty, but you can't
- 00:14:45.941 --> 00:14:49.445
- Forgive a debt until you calculate what that debt is.
- 00:14:49.445 --> 00:14:53.382
- And then thirdly, forgiveness is the decision to release your
- 00:14:53.382 --> 00:14:57.786
- Offender of his debt to you.
- 00:14:57.786 --> 00:15:01.256
- If you don't go through this process, then you'll never reap
- 00:15:01.256 --> 00:15:04.760
- The benefits of truly forgiving another person.
- 00:15:04.760 --> 00:15:07.763
- We'll see a great biblical illustration of that in just
- 00:15:07.763 --> 00:15:10.332
- A moment.
- 00:15:10.332 --> 00:15:11.667
- A fourth fallacy people have about forgiveness is the belief
- 00:15:11.667 --> 00:15:16.138
- That forgiveness requires reunion.
- 00:15:16.138 --> 00:15:20.609
- In other words, if a wife is being physically abused by her
- 00:15:20.609 --> 00:15:25.280
- Husband, but she is required to forgive him, that means she has
- 00:15:25.280 --> 00:15:30.185
- To go back and live under the same roof as he does and subject
- 00:15:30.185 --> 00:15:33.856
- Herself to that same punishment.
- 00:15:33.856 --> 00:15:36.058
- If you forgive a cheating mate, that means you have to
- 00:15:36.058 --> 00:15:39.528
- Just overlook any future infidelities
- 00:15:39.528 --> 00:15:42.865
- In your relationship.
- 00:15:42.865 --> 00:15:45.034
- If you decide to hire back an employee who has
- 00:15:45.034 --> 00:15:51.373
- Embezzled money from you, if you forgive them that means you
- 00:15:51.373 --> 00:15:55.978
- Have to keep them employed even if they show
- 00:15:55.978 --> 00:15:59.114
- No restitution whatsoever.
- 00:15:59.114 --> 00:16:01.383
- None of those things is true.
- 00:16:01.383 --> 00:16:03.352
- You can forgive somebody without being reunited with them.
- 00:16:03.352 --> 00:16:08.023
- I believe these four fallacies about forgiveness keep many
- 00:16:08.023 --> 00:16:12.161
- People from forgiving.
- 00:16:12.161 --> 00:16:13.662
- You know who illustrates probably better than anyone in
- 00:16:13.662 --> 00:16:16.432
- The old testament those principles of forgiveness is
- 00:16:16.432 --> 00:16:20.102
- That character, joseph.
- 00:16:20.102 --> 00:16:21.437
- Now we've did a long study on joseph.
- 00:16:21.437 --> 00:16:23.872
- I'm not gonna rehash the story.
- 00:16:23.872 --> 00:16:25.574
- Just remember the basics.
- 00:16:25.574 --> 00:16:27.142
- He was one of the 12 sons of jacob.
- 00:16:27.142 --> 00:16:29.611
- He was the favorite son.
- 00:16:29.611 --> 00:16:31.146
- Because of that, his brothers were jealous.
- 00:16:31.146 --> 00:16:33.148
- They threw him into a pit to have him sold as a slave.
- 00:16:33.148 --> 00:16:36.618
- They left him for being dead, but god used that great betrayal
- 00:16:36.618 --> 00:16:42.157
- To put joseph exactly where god wanted him to be, in egypt, as
- 00:16:42.157 --> 00:16:46.595
- Pharaoh's right-hand man.
- 00:16:46.595 --> 00:16:48.730
- And because of joseph's prominence, he was able to
- 00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:53.235
- Devise that plan to save not just egypt but the entire world
- 00:16:53.235 --> 00:16:57.406
- From the famine by setting aside part of the grain for the time
- 00:16:57.406 --> 00:17:01.076
- Of famine, and it was a famine that would cause joseph's
- 00:17:01.076 --> 00:17:04.780
- Brothers, who had forgotten about him, to have to come to
- 00:17:04.780 --> 00:17:07.683
- Egypt to buy the grain.
- 00:17:07.683 --> 00:17:09.051
- Little did they know they would be making their appeal to the
- 00:17:09.051 --> 00:17:12.421
- Very brother whom they thought they had killed.
- 00:17:12.421 --> 00:17:15.924
- And we've got this remarkable scene in genesis 50.
- 00:17:15.924 --> 00:17:19.728
- The brothers were there.
- 00:17:19.728 --> 00:17:21.063
- Joseph reveals himself to his brothers.
- 00:17:21.063 --> 00:17:23.499
- They're scared to death.
- 00:17:23.499 --> 00:17:25.334
- "joseph said to them, ‘do not be afraid, for am i not in
- 00:17:25.334 --> 00:17:28.937
- God's place?
- 00:17:28.937 --> 00:17:30.272
- As for you, you meant evil against me, but god meant it for
- 00:17:30.272 --> 00:17:34.176
- Good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve
- 00:17:34.176 --> 00:17:37.980
- Many people alive.
- 00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:39.515
- So therefore, do not be afraid; i will provide for you and your
- 00:17:39.515 --> 00:17:44.486
- Little ones.'"
- 00:17:44.486 --> 00:17:46.021
- Notice the three steps of genuine forgiveness
- 00:17:46.021 --> 00:17:49.591
- That joseph illustrates.
- 00:17:49.591 --> 00:17:51.360
- First of all, genuine forgiveness admits you have
- 00:17:51.360 --> 00:17:55.264
- Been wronged.
- 00:17:55.264 --> 00:17:56.632
- Joseph didn't say to his brothers, "oh brothers, let's
- 00:17:56.632 --> 00:17:59.134
- Just forget what happened to you and what you did to me.
- 00:17:59.134 --> 00:18:02.304
- You must have just been having a bad day.
- 00:18:02.304 --> 00:18:04.506
- We'll forgive and forget."
- 00:18:04.506 --> 00:18:06.275
- No, he's very honest with them.
- 00:18:06.275 --> 00:18:07.776
- He said, "you meant it for evil.
- 00:18:07.776 --> 00:18:11.079
- What you did was wrong."
- 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:13.982
- Remember this, you cannot forgive people you're not
- 00:18:13.982 --> 00:18:17.386
- Willing to blame.
- 00:18:17.386 --> 00:18:19.121
- You have to blame people before you can forgive them.
- 00:18:19.121 --> 00:18:22.457
- You don't have to sugarcoat anything.
- 00:18:22.457 --> 00:18:24.726
- Joseph's brother said, "you meant it for evil."
- 00:18:24.726 --> 00:18:27.829
- Genuine forgiveness admits you have been wronged.
- 00:18:27.829 --> 00:18:30.766
- Secondly, genuine forgiveness acknowledges a debt is owed.
- 00:18:30.766 --> 00:18:36.004
- When joseph said, "do not be afraid," he was basically
- 00:18:36.004 --> 00:18:40.042
- Saying, "you have every right to be afraid.
- 00:18:40.042 --> 00:18:41.810
- I'm the big cheese now here in egypt.
- 00:18:41.810 --> 00:18:44.379
- I could have you executed if i wanted to.
- 00:18:44.379 --> 00:18:47.115
- You have every right to be afraid."
- 00:18:47.115 --> 00:18:49.685
- Genuine forgiveness acknowledges a debt is owed.
- 00:18:49.685 --> 00:18:53.655
- Again, you have to calculate what that other person deserves
- 00:18:53.655 --> 00:18:57.059
- Before you release them of those consequences.
- 00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:59.861
- And thirdly, genuine forgiveness releases your offender of
- 00:18:59.861 --> 00:19:04.666
- Their debt.
- 00:19:04.666 --> 00:19:06.268
- It releases them of your debt.
- 00:19:06.268 --> 00:19:07.736
- When joseph said, "you don't need to be afraid.
- 00:19:07.736 --> 00:19:10.372
- I'm not going to kill you, but instead i'm going to give you
- 00:19:10.372 --> 00:19:13.976
- What you don't deserve, the choicest land of egypt, the land
- 00:19:13.976 --> 00:19:17.379
- Of goshen," he was demonstrating that he had released them of
- 00:19:17.379 --> 00:19:21.250
- Their debt.
- 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:22.584
- Now, when you forgive somebody, you release them of your right
- 00:19:22.584 --> 00:19:27.055
- To hurt them for hurting you.
- 00:19:27.055 --> 00:19:28.824
- Doesn't mean you give up your desire for justice.
- 00:19:28.824 --> 00:19:31.460
- God, the government, somebody else may want to deal with them,
- 00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:34.429
- But you're surrendering your right to seek vengeance
- 00:19:34.429 --> 00:19:37.833
- Against them.
- 00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:39.301
- You know, this is such a remarkable story.
- 00:19:39.301 --> 00:19:42.471
- I've often wondered how did joseph conjure up
- 00:19:42.471 --> 00:19:49.044
- That forgiveness?
- 00:19:49.044 --> 00:19:51.213
- He had never read "when forgiveness doesn't make sense."
- 00:19:51.213 --> 00:19:53.915
- How did he know how to do that?
- 00:19:53.915 --> 00:19:56.818
- Where did that come from?
- 00:19:56.818 --> 00:19:58.854
- I think part of it's telling in what joseph said in his
- 00:19:58.854 --> 00:20:02.557
- First conversation with his brothers in genesis 45, he said,
- 00:20:02.557 --> 00:20:07.629
- "do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me
- 00:20:07.629 --> 00:20:11.199
- Here, for god sent me before you to preserve life.
- 00:20:11.199 --> 00:20:14.303
- God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in
- 00:20:14.303 --> 00:20:17.773
- The earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance.
- 00:20:17.773 --> 00:20:21.043
- Now, for, it was not you who sent me here, but god," hear
- 00:20:21.043 --> 00:20:24.913
- That over and over again, you did this but god but god but
- 00:20:24.913 --> 00:20:27.983
- God, “it was not you who sent me here, but god; and he has made
- 00:20:27.983 --> 00:20:32.120
- Me a father to pharaoh and lord of all of his household, and
- 00:20:32.120 --> 00:20:35.223
- Ruler over all the land of egypt.”
- 00:20:35.223 --> 00:20:39.027
- Joseph was able to see the hand of god in these offenses.
- 00:20:39.027 --> 00:20:43.832
- Joseph believed in a god who was bigger than the ones who had
- 00:20:43.832 --> 00:20:48.403
- Hurt him.
- 00:20:48.403 --> 00:20:49.838
- And ladies and gentlemen, you will never be able to forgive,
- 00:20:49.838 --> 00:20:53.375
- Truly forgive, until you come to the conclusion that god is
- 00:20:53.375 --> 00:20:57.145
- Bigger than your offender.
- 00:20:57.145 --> 00:20:59.448
- God can take the worst things that have happened to you and
- 00:20:59.448 --> 00:21:03.618
- Use them for his good and his glory.
- 00:21:03.618 --> 00:21:07.222
- That's the key to forgiveness.
- 00:21:07.222 --> 00:21:09.725
- I think part of that was joseph was able to see how god was able
- 00:21:09.725 --> 00:21:14.229
- To work through those injustices.
- 00:21:14.229 --> 00:21:16.365
- Little did he know how that would ultimately play out.
- 00:21:16.365 --> 00:21:20.635
- I mean, we're still feeling the reverberations of his decision
- 00:21:20.635 --> 00:21:24.106
- To forgive.
- 00:21:24.106 --> 00:21:25.440
- I mean, think about it.
- 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:26.775
- If he hadn't forgiven his brothers and said, "no, you
- 00:21:26.775 --> 00:21:28.977
- Can't have any grain," what would have happened?
- 00:21:28.977 --> 00:21:32.214
- The brothers would have starved to death.
- 00:21:32.214 --> 00:21:34.449
- If the brothers had starved to death, they were the nucleus of
- 00:21:34.449 --> 00:21:37.853
- The nation of israel.
- 00:21:37.853 --> 00:21:39.221
- If there had been no grain, there would have been
- 00:21:39.221 --> 00:21:41.056
- No brothers.
- 00:21:41.056 --> 00:21:42.391
- If there'd been no brothers, there had been no israel.
- 00:21:42.391 --> 00:21:43.759
- If there were no israel, there would be no messiah.
- 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:46.395
- If there was no messiah who had to come from israel, there would
- 00:21:46.395 --> 00:21:49.464
- Have been no salvation, and you and i today would be dead in our
- 00:21:49.464 --> 00:21:52.834
- Trespasses and sins.
- 00:21:52.834 --> 00:21:55.170
- We are saved today, when you think about it, because of one
- 00:21:55.170 --> 00:21:59.541
- Man's choice to forgive.
- 00:21:59.541 --> 00:22:03.378
- I think that was his main motivation, but i think there's
- 00:22:03.378 --> 00:22:06.882
- Another secret to it.
- 00:22:06.882 --> 00:22:08.683
- It's found in genesis 45:2, "when he first saw the
- 00:22:08.683 --> 00:22:11.920
- Brothers,” the bible said, “he wept so loudly that the
- 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:15.357
- Egyptians heard it, and the household of pharaoh heard of it
- 00:22:15.357 --> 00:22:19.227
- As well."
- 00:22:19.227 --> 00:22:21.763
- Joseph knew what it was like to be a prisoner.
- 00:22:21.763 --> 00:22:23.965
- He had been unfairly in prison for the rape of potiphar's wife.
- 00:22:23.965 --> 00:22:29.104
- He knew the exhilaration that came from being freed finally
- 00:22:29.104 --> 00:22:32.808
- From that prison, but he was still a prisoner of hurt.
- 00:22:32.808 --> 00:22:38.079
- I think of bitterness as the years unfolded, as he thought
- 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:42.551
- About his brothers and what they had done to him, and tired of
- 00:22:42.551 --> 00:22:47.222
- That bitterness, tired of those regrets, he made that decision
- 00:22:47.222 --> 00:22:51.359
- To forgive.
- 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:53.628
- Are you ready to be freed from that prison of regrets?
- 00:22:53.628 --> 00:22:59.634
- Are you tired of being shackled to that person who hurt you
- 00:22:59.634 --> 00:23:03.371
- Maybe many years ago?
- 00:23:03.371 --> 00:23:06.575
- Forgiveness is the key that will set you free to live the life
- 00:23:06.575 --> 00:23:11.513
- God has planned for you.
- 00:23:11.513 --> 00:23:14.349
- Lewis smedes says it best when he says, "when we forgive, we
- 00:23:14.349 --> 00:23:20.188
- Set the prisoner free, and the prisoner we set free is us."
- 00:23:20.188 --> 00:23:28.363
- Jeffress: let's allow that question to linger in our minds.
- 00:23:32.501 --> 00:23:36.004
- Are you ready to be freed from the prison of regrets?
- 00:23:36.004 --> 00:23:39.674
- I certainly hope so.
- 00:23:39.674 --> 00:23:41.643
- Well, every time i watch the news or read the latest
- 00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:44.412
- Headlines, i'm reminded that our nation and world are spinning
- 00:23:44.412 --> 00:23:48.083
- Out of control.
- 00:23:48.083 --> 00:23:49.417
- People have lost confidence in human leadership, and they're
- 00:23:49.417 --> 00:23:52.954
- Becoming distracted by every whim of this world.
- 00:23:52.954 --> 00:23:56.057
- But here's the good news, jesus christ is still in control.
- 00:23:56.057 --> 00:24:00.795
- He's our only hope, and every day on "pathway to victory,"
- 00:24:00.795 --> 00:24:04.666
- We're blanketing the globe with clear and hope-filled
- 00:24:04.666 --> 00:24:08.637
- Bible teaching.
- 00:24:08.637 --> 00:24:09.971
- With all the chaos in our world, our ministry together has never
- 00:24:09.971 --> 00:24:14.109
- Been more important than it is right now.
- 00:24:14.109 --> 00:24:16.711
- So thank you for your continued support of "pathway to victory."
- 00:24:16.711 --> 00:24:21.283
- Now, stay right there.
- 00:24:21.283 --> 00:24:22.617
- I'll be back with a word of encouragement in just a moment.
- 00:24:22.617 --> 00:24:26.321
- Announcer: what if your doctor were to say you had only six
- 00:24:26.388 --> 00:24:29.124
- Months left to live?
- 00:24:29.124 --> 00:24:30.559
- Would you have any regrets in your life?
- 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:32.627
- In his best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
- 00:24:32.627 --> 00:24:36.298
- Jeffress shares biblical principles for dealing with
- 00:24:36.298 --> 00:24:38.700
- Regrets from your past and preventing regrets in
- 00:24:38.700 --> 00:24:41.403
- The future.
- 00:24:41.403 --> 00:24:42.737
- Jeffress: regret is one of life's most painful and
- 00:24:42.737 --> 00:24:45.640
- Unnecessary emotions, and in my best selling book, "say goodbye
- 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:49.711
- To regret," i'll help you turn those if-onlys into successful
- 00:24:49.711 --> 00:24:54.215
- Lessons in living.
- 00:24:54.215 --> 00:24:55.951
- Announcer: it's time to move forward, satisfied with the life
- 00:24:55.951 --> 00:24:59.120
- You're living.
- 00:24:59.120 --> 00:25:00.522
- Request your copy of "say goodbye to regret" when you give
- 00:25:00.522 --> 00:25:03.358
- A generous gift to "pathway to victory."
- 00:25:03.358 --> 00:25:06.027
- In the pages of this highly practical book, you'll discover
- 00:25:06.027 --> 00:25:09.264
- The biblical keys to leaving behind regrets about
- 00:25:09.264 --> 00:25:12.033
- Relationships, your marriage, finances, and more.
- 00:25:12.033 --> 00:25:15.570
- And when you give $75 or more, we'll also send you the complete
- 00:25:15.570 --> 00:25:20.308
- "say goodbye to regret" teaching series on
- 00:25:20.308 --> 00:25:22.677
- Dvd video and mp3 format audio disc.
- 00:25:22.677 --> 00:25:26.581
- Jeffress: one of the heaviest weights, other than sin,
- 00:25:26.581 --> 00:25:29.918
- Is regret.
- 00:25:29.918 --> 00:25:31.252
- Regrets are not the problem in and of themselves, they are an
- 00:25:31.252 --> 00:25:34.556
- Indicator of a problem that needs to be dealt with.
- 00:25:34.556 --> 00:25:38.927
- Announcer: thank you for helping "pathway to victory"
- 00:25:38.994 --> 00:25:41.329
- Proclaim the redemptive power of jesus christ to a world in need.
- 00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:45.467
- Together, we are broadcasting the message of god's love
- 00:25:45.467 --> 00:25:48.670
- And forgiveness, biblical hope, and life transforming power
- 00:25:48.670 --> 00:25:52.173
- Across the country and around the world.
- 00:25:52.173 --> 00:25:55.910
- Jeffress: perhaps you've been a prisoner of bitterness for far
- 00:25:58.346 --> 00:26:01.282
- Too long, maybe it's been months, years, even decades.
- 00:26:01.282 --> 00:26:05.920
- Regardless of the offense or the offender, you don't need to live
- 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:10.225
- One more day weighed down by regret.
- 00:26:10.225 --> 00:26:13.862
- Today, with the help of god's holy spirit, you can be freed
- 00:26:13.862 --> 00:26:17.532
- From the chains of unforgiveness.
- 00:26:17.532 --> 00:26:20.435
- Well, it's easy to become distracted with the demands of
- 00:26:20.435 --> 00:26:23.672
- Daily living.
- 00:26:23.672 --> 00:26:25.040
- So next time, i'm going to help you refocus on spiritual things
- 00:26:25.040 --> 00:26:29.044
- That matter in the grand scheme of eternity.
- 00:26:29.044 --> 00:26:32.313
- Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in our
- 00:26:32.313 --> 00:26:35.083
- Series, "say goodbye to regret."
- 00:26:35.083 --> 00:26:39.688
- Jeffress: god is sovereign.
- 00:26:39.688 --> 00:26:41.556
- He is in control.
- 00:26:41.556 --> 00:26:43.158
- There is nothing that happens in the universe apart from his
- 00:26:43.158 --> 00:26:46.661
- Permission, and he is sovereign over your life as well.
- 00:26:46.661 --> 00:26:50.932
- He is in control of your steps, your missteps, and
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- Your stumbles.
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- There's nothing you do that surprises god.
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- You know, one of the great verses about that is psalm 139,
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- Verse 16.
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- David said, "and in your book, oh god, were written all the
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- Days of my life before there was one of them."
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- Announcer: set your dvr and join us next time for the message,
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- "say goodbye to spiritual regrets," here on
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- "pathway to victory."
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