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Harvest with Pastor Greg Laurie | Greg Laurie - How To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage | May 22, 2026
- Greg laurie: the problem is we hold grudges
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- And we bring up stuff from a long time ago.
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- You're in a disagreement with your spouse and you say,
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- "well, i remember 20 years ago," wait, wait, what?
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- Stop with the "20 years ago."
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- Love keeps short accounts.
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- ♪ this is the day, the day where life begins ♪
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- ♪ this is the day, the day where life begins ♪♪
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- Greg: so i heard about a couple that was celebrating
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- Their 25th wedding anniversary.
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- Big event. friends and family were there.
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- Husband got in front of all of the folks and said to his wife,
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- "my dear wife, you've been such a great wife these 25 years and
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- To show you how much i love you, i wanna take you to australia
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- For our anniversary."
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- She was so excited.
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- She'd never been down under before.
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- She said, "australia, koala bears, kangaroos,
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- Shrimps on the barbie.
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- I can hardly wait. that's so great.
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- Man," she said to her husband, "if you're doing this
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- For our 25th anniversary, what will you do for our 50th?"
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- He said, "that's when i'll pick you up," he says.
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- It's not a good sign.
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- One of the richest men who ever lived,
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- J. paul getty, once made this statement:
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- "i would give my entire fortune for one happy marriage."
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- One happy marriage.
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- Is it actually possible?
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- I believe it is, if we do it god's way.
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- And i want to talk to you about
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- How to divorce-proof your marriage.
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- Now, this isn't foolproof.
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- There are exceptions, but overall, if we do what
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- God says in his word, you will have a long-lasting,
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- Happy and blessed marriage.
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- You see, after we walk down that aisle and say, "i do,"
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- There's a lot more to do.
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- If love is a dream, then marriage is the alarm clock.
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- And the real hard work of having a successful marriage begins.
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- And yes, it is work.
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- There's god's part and there's our part,
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- And it's sort of like a garden.
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- You know, if you want a garden to grow, you have to tend to it.
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- You have to weed it, you have to water it.
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- Same is true of marriage.
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- You could also liken it to your human body.
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- If you neglect your body, it'll break down.
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- Well, it's gonna break down, no matter what you do, but there
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- Are things you can do to be stronger and be healthier.
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- The same is true of marriage.
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- A well-known comedian once said, quote,
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- "the secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
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- Is that true? i don't think it is.
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- I think it's right here in this scripture.
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- And there are threats against our marriages today,
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- And i'm going to identify some of them.
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- I certainly can't identify all of them.
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- But threats to our marriages.
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- The bible says it's the little foxes that spoil the vines.
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- Little things can become big things.
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- You think this won't become a problem.
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- This is what happened to eve in the garden of eden.
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- She engaged with the snake.
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- She entered into a conversation with the devil,
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- And ate of the forbidden fruit and shared it with adam
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- And he too ate of the forbidden fruit.
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- And all of the problems we have today stem
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- From that very bad decision.
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- So here is number one threat against your marriage:
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- Selfishness.
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- One word: selfishness.
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- If we were to sum up in one word what breaks most marriages
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- Apart, it would be this, because you walk into a marriage
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- Thinking that that person is going to meet all of your needs.
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- That person is, if there's a problem, is the one responsible.
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- Never you.
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- It's always them that is causing the problems.
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- Well, it's time to look in the mirror because
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- You're part of the problem as well.
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- James 4:2 says: "where do you think all these appalling wars
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- And quarrels come from?
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- Do you think they just happen?
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- Think again.
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- They come about because you want your own way,
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- And you fight for it deep inside yourselves."
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- That's it. i want my way.
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- I'm right, you're wrong.
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- That's how we see it.
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- We're not able to see the other person's point of view
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- And we enter into this conflict.
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- And we're such a self-absorbed culture today.
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- So let's think for a moment about the garden of eden.
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- So adam and eve eat of the forbidden fruit.
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- Sin came into the world.
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- Now here's part of what we call the curse.
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- God said in genesis 3:16 to eve, "your desire will be
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- For your husband and he will rule over you."
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- This is negative.
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- God is saying this is the ramification.
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- This is the result of your bad decision.
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- The word "desire" means to compel, urge,
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- Or seek control over.
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- So what god is saying is, "now, eve, from this moment forward,
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- You will have a sinful desire to control your husband.
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- You will want to dominate your husband."
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- And in the same way, he says to the husband,
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- "you will have a sinful desire to dominate the woman."
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- Neither is right.
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- We're to love one another, we're to put the needs of the other
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- First, we're to submit to one another in the reverence of god,
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- According to ephesians 5, but the nature that we have is women
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- Wanna dominate men, men want to control women,
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- So the battle of the sexes began.
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- It's all about self.
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- What's the antidote?
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- Do what god says.
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- Obey the word of god.
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- Ephesians 5:28: "so husbands are to love their wives
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- As their own bodies.
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- He that loves his wife loves himself."
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- Notice, it doesn't say husbands are to love their--
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- Themselves and then their wives.
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- It's assumed husbands love themselves, just like wives do.
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- We all love ourself.
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- So all paul is saying is, "hey, love your wife as much
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- As you already love yourself.
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- Love her as christ loves the church."
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- And what does that mean?
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- Husbands, it means you'd lay your life down for her.
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- What does that mean, specifically?
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- Philippians 2 says: "don't be selfish.
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- Don't live to make a good impression on others.
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- Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.
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- Don't think only of your own affairs,
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- Be interested in others as well."
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- But selfishness undermines so many marriages.
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- Number two, another threat against our marriage:
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- Communication breakdown.
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- Communication breakdown.
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- Do you ever text someone
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- And you don't hear from them for, like, a week?
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- And you're waiting for an answer.
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- Even worse, you text them and then you see
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- The little dot-dot-dot, dot-dot-dot, dot-dot-dot, stops.
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- Well, what was that all about?
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- You were going to send me a message and you decided not to?
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- But this happens in marriage.
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- We stop communicating with each other.
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- A survey was done among divorced couples.
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- They were asked why their marriage failed.
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- Eighty-six percent of them said, "deficient communication."
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- James 1:19 says, "let everyone be quick to listen,
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- Slow to speak, and slow to anger."
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- But instead, we do the opposite.
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- We're quick to anger and we're quick to speak,
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- And we're slow to listen.
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- Listen, if your spouse comes to you and says, "there's something
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- You're doing that i don't like," you may think it's ridiculous,
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- You may want to dismiss it, but if it matters to them,
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- It should matter to you, so you need to hear them out,
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- Try to see it from their point of view.
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- Maybe explain your position, and then work toward resolution.
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- Proverbs 18:13 says:
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- "only a fool answers a matter before he has heard it.
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- Avoid raising your voice.
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- If you feel anger bubbling up inside of you,
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- Sometimes you may need to walk away.
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- You may explode with rage and scream or do something else,
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- Even hit them and feel justified.
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- That's never justified.
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- And here's what the bible says.
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- Ephesians 4:31: "get rid of bitterness, rage, anger,
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- Harsh words, slander, all kinds of evil behavior.
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- Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one
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- Another just as god through christ has forgiven you."
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- Ruth graham said, "a strong marriage is made up
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- Of two good forgivers."
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- The problem is we hold grudges and we bring up stuff
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- From a long time ago.
- 00:08:57.870 --> 00:08:59.238
- You're in a disagreement with your spouse and you say,
- 00:08:59.238 --> 00:09:01.274
- "well, i remember 20 years ago," wait, wait, what?
- 00:09:01.274 --> 00:09:04.243
- Stop with the "20 years ago."
- 00:09:04.243 --> 00:09:07.146
- Love keeps short accounts.
- 00:09:07.146 --> 00:09:09.515
- So when you fight or disagree,
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- You fight to resolve, not to win.
- 00:09:12.084 --> 00:09:15.321
- If you go into it to win, you've already lost.
- 00:09:15.321 --> 00:09:19.058
- And ephesians 4:26 says:
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- "don't let the sun go down on your anger."
- 00:09:21.227 --> 00:09:27.833
- Greg: hey, everybody, i'm here with my friend, tony clark,
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- From newport news, virginia, right?
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- Tony clark: yes, sir.
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- Greg: first of all, i like your hat.
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- Tony: oh, thank you. greg: that's a cool hat.
- 00:09:38.811 --> 00:09:40.346
- Now let me see if i wear the hat,
- 00:09:40.346 --> 00:09:41.714
- If i'll look as cool as you; can i try it?
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- I notice you have it sort of at an angle,
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- 'kay, so is this right?
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- Tony: you're gotta tilt it to the side.
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- Yeah, that's it. that is it.
- 00:09:48.087 --> 00:09:49.855
- I think it looks--i think that's good.
- 00:09:49.855 --> 00:09:51.424
- I think you ought to start wearing them.
- 00:09:51.424 --> 00:09:55.628
- Greg: yeah, i think it's better on you.
- 00:09:55.628 --> 00:09:57.463
- Okay, let's--let me ask you a quick question.
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- It has to be really a fast answer 'cause we used
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- All our time up with the hat.
- 00:10:02.134 --> 00:10:03.536
- What is the secret to a successful marriage?
- 00:10:03.536 --> 00:10:05.705
- Tell those people.
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- Tony: a secret to a successful marriage
- 00:10:07.206 --> 00:10:09.241
- Is making sure jesus is in the center of the marriage.
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- As you draw closer to jesus, you draw closer to one another.
- 00:10:12.845 --> 00:10:16.616
- Hands down.
- 00:10:16.616 --> 00:10:17.950
- Greg: great, now, how long have you been married?
- 00:10:17.950 --> 00:10:19.285
- Tony: thirty-three years.
- 00:10:19.285 --> 00:10:20.620
- Greg: he knows what he's talking about.
- 00:10:20.620 --> 00:10:23.155
- Greg: okay, number three, something that's a threat
- 00:10:25.691 --> 00:10:28.694
- To your marriage: adultery.
- 00:10:28.694 --> 00:10:30.796
- This is a big one.
- 00:10:30.796 --> 00:10:32.198
- This is a marriage killer, potentially.
- 00:10:32.198 --> 00:10:34.900
- Adultery.
- 00:10:34.900 --> 00:10:36.302
- It's so significant, it made it into god's top ten,
- 00:10:36.302 --> 00:10:39.205
- The ten commandments: "you shall not commit adultery."
- 00:10:39.205 --> 00:10:44.076
- Every one of us probably knows at least one person
- 00:10:44.076 --> 00:10:47.847
- Who has fallen into this sin.
- 00:10:47.847 --> 00:10:50.249
- Every one of us knows of a marriage that has come apart
- 00:10:50.249 --> 00:10:53.319
- Because of this sin.
- 00:10:53.319 --> 00:10:55.721
- Imagine if, in america, we just obeyed this single commandment,
- 00:10:55.721 --> 00:11:01.060
- How different things would be.
- 00:11:01.060 --> 00:11:02.795
- How many marriages would still be together because, as
- 00:11:02.795 --> 00:11:05.831
- I've said to you before, you can trace almost every social ill
- 00:11:05.831 --> 00:11:09.602
- And problem in america today to the breakdown of the family.
- 00:11:09.602 --> 00:11:14.073
- If we would just keep this one commandment,
- 00:11:14.073 --> 00:11:16.575
- But this is a real problem.
- 00:11:16.575 --> 00:11:18.310
- Unfaithfulness is one of the greatest threats
- 00:11:18.310 --> 00:11:21.080
- Against marriage today.
- 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:22.982
- God warns us in the bible of the effect of adultery.
- 00:11:22.982 --> 00:11:28.320
- Solomon warned about going to the house of the prostitute
- 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:31.991
- In proverbs 7.
- 00:11:31.991 --> 00:11:34.126
- Says: "listen to me, my sons.
- 00:11:34.126 --> 00:11:35.961
- Pay attention to what i'm saying.
- 00:11:35.961 --> 00:11:37.897
- Don't let your heart stray towards her.
- 00:11:37.897 --> 00:11:39.832
- Don't wander down her wayward path.
- 00:11:39.832 --> 00:11:42.501
- Her house is the road to the grave,
- 00:11:42.501 --> 00:11:44.904
- Her bedroom is the den of death," wow.
- 00:11:44.904 --> 00:11:48.774
- "road to the grave, bedroom of death.
- 00:11:48.774 --> 00:11:52.578
- And that's not just directed to men, but to women as well.
- 00:11:52.578 --> 00:11:56.248
- Now, jesus takes it to another level.
- 00:11:56.248 --> 00:11:58.751
- In the sermon on the mount, christ showed that
- 00:11:58.751 --> 00:12:01.587
- The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.
- 00:12:01.587 --> 00:12:05.424
- And he says, "now, you have heard that it has been said,"
- 00:12:05.424 --> 00:12:08.360
- In matthew 5, "you shall not commit adultery, but i say unto
- 00:12:08.360 --> 00:12:11.664
- You if you even look at a woman with lust in your eyes you've
- 00:12:11.664 --> 00:12:14.967
- Already committed adultery with her in your heart."
- 00:12:14.967 --> 00:12:18.738
- Whoa, okay, that's getting pretty close to home.
- 00:12:18.738 --> 00:12:21.741
- Now, this word "look" doesn't just mean looking at a woman.
- 00:12:21.741 --> 00:12:26.212
- It's looking as in continual gazing with the desire
- 00:12:26.212 --> 00:12:31.484
- Of lusting after her, would be applied to a woman
- 00:12:31.484 --> 00:12:36.055
- Looking at a man in the same way.
- 00:12:36.055 --> 00:12:38.724
- Jesus is not speaking of unavoidable and unexpected
- 00:12:38.724 --> 00:12:42.628
- Exposure to sexual temptation.
- 00:12:42.628 --> 00:12:45.297
- He's talking about a person who intentionally puts himself
- 00:12:45.297 --> 00:12:48.968
- In the place of vulnerability and if they're exposed they give
- 00:12:48.968 --> 00:12:54.173
- The devil a foothold by letting it into their thought process.
- 00:12:54.173 --> 00:12:59.545
- It's been said you can't stop a bird from flying over your head,
- 00:12:59.545 --> 00:13:03.082
- But you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.
- 00:13:03.082 --> 00:13:06.685
- In my case, the bird better bring his own materials,
- 00:13:06.685 --> 00:13:10.089
- 'cause there's no hair here for a nest, but the idea is
- 00:13:10.089 --> 00:13:14.593
- I can't stop the thought from flying over,
- 00:13:14.593 --> 00:13:17.263
- But i can stop it from coming into my mind.
- 00:13:17.263 --> 00:13:20.166
- I have to let it in, i have to entertain it,
- 00:13:20.166 --> 00:13:22.701
- I have to welcome it.
- 00:13:22.701 --> 00:13:24.603
- Now the final serious threat to our marriage is divorce.
- 00:13:24.603 --> 00:13:29.074
- And that brings us to our text, matthew 19:
- 00:13:29.074 --> 00:13:33.479
- "the religious leaders came to jesus and they asked him,"
- 00:13:33.479 --> 00:13:36.215
- In matthew 19, verse 7,
- 00:13:36.215 --> 00:13:37.917
- "'why then did moses command to give a certificate of divorce
- 00:13:37.917 --> 00:13:41.153
- And to put her away?'
- 00:13:41.153 --> 00:13:43.122
- He said, 'moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,
- 00:13:43.122 --> 00:13:46.158
- Permitted you to divorce your wife;
- 00:13:46.158 --> 00:13:48.861
- But from the beginning it was not so.'
- 00:13:48.861 --> 00:13:51.797
- And i say to you, whoever divorces his wife,
- 00:13:51.797 --> 00:13:53.933
- Except for sexual immorality,
- 00:13:53.933 --> 00:13:55.801
- And marries another commits adultery.
- 00:13:55.801 --> 00:13:58.304
- And whoever marries her who is divorced, commits adultery.'"
- 00:13:58.304 --> 00:14:01.440
- It's interesting.
- 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:02.875
- They say, "so jesus, why did moses
- 00:14:02.875 --> 00:14:05.044
- Command people to be divorced?"
- 00:14:05.044 --> 00:14:06.846
- Jesus said, "actually, he never did.
- 00:14:06.846 --> 00:14:08.881
- He permitted it."
- 00:14:08.881 --> 00:14:10.482
- And why did he permit it?
- 00:14:10.482 --> 00:14:12.051
- Because of the hardness of your heart.
- 00:14:12.051 --> 00:14:13.919
- See, sometimes people will say, "you know the bible is
- 00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.455
- Anti-woman, and the people who wrote it were misogynist
- 00:14:16.455 --> 00:14:20.659
- And chauvinistic and--" nothing could be further from the truth.
- 00:14:20.659 --> 00:14:24.630
- In jewish culture, and certainly roman culture,
- 00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:27.533
- A woman was not valued as she should be.
- 00:14:27.533 --> 00:14:31.370
- The bible exalts the woman to the position she should have
- 00:14:31.370 --> 00:14:34.773
- Always been in, in the first place, created and loved and--
- 00:14:34.773 --> 00:14:37.910
- By god himself.
- 00:14:37.910 --> 00:14:39.712
- But in this culture, a man can divorce his wife
- 00:14:39.712 --> 00:14:42.581
- For almost anything and cast her out on the street.
- 00:14:42.581 --> 00:14:46.252
- She'd have no source of income,
- 00:14:46.252 --> 00:14:47.953
- No way to make a living so jesus is saying,
- 00:14:47.953 --> 00:14:51.423
- "that's why it's allowed under certain circumstances."
- 00:14:51.423 --> 00:14:55.828
- When is divorce biblically allowable?
- 00:14:55.828 --> 00:15:00.299
- Number one, it's allowable when sexual immorality takes place.
- 00:15:00.299 --> 00:15:05.971
- Again, matthew 19:9: "if anyone divorces his wife, except for
- 00:15:05.971 --> 00:15:09.708
- Sexual immorality, and marries another he commits adultery."
- 00:15:09.708 --> 00:15:13.445
- So, if there's unfaithfulness, you technically,
- 00:15:13.445 --> 00:15:17.416
- According to jesus, have grounds for a divorce.
- 00:15:17.416 --> 00:15:20.586
- But let me add one other thing.
- 00:15:20.586 --> 00:15:22.988
- You also have grounds for forgiveness, don't you?
- 00:15:22.988 --> 00:15:25.391
- And i've seen marriages experience infidelity
- 00:15:25.391 --> 00:15:29.094
- And i've seen the marriages survive it.
- 00:15:29.094 --> 00:15:31.864
- It's not easy.
- 00:15:31.864 --> 00:15:33.365
- Trust is lost.
- 00:15:33.365 --> 00:15:35.301
- Takes a long time to regain again, but i've seen it happen.
- 00:15:35.301 --> 00:15:37.970
- I've also seen marriages devastated by infidelity and,
- 00:15:37.970 --> 00:15:42.141
- Especially if it's repeated infidelity on the part of
- 00:15:42.141 --> 00:15:45.978
- The man or the woman, it's a marriage killer for sure.
- 00:15:45.978 --> 00:15:50.683
- But let me offer a little hope.
- 00:15:50.683 --> 00:15:52.785
- My mom was married and divorced seven times and so i didn't have
- 00:15:52.785 --> 00:15:56.722
- A good example, but by god's grace, cathy and i have been
- 00:15:56.722 --> 00:16:00.292
- Married for almost 50 years now, so christ can break that sin.
- 00:16:00.292 --> 00:16:07.566
- Jesus can break a cycle of sin, because sometimes people say,
- 00:16:07.566 --> 00:16:10.769
- "well, divorce runs in my family."
- 00:16:10.769 --> 00:16:13.739
- And so that excuses you somehow.
- 00:16:13.739 --> 00:16:16.275
- Or "well, that's, you know, it's something beyond--
- 00:16:16.275 --> 00:16:18.744
- This is the way i'm wired.
- 00:16:18.744 --> 00:16:20.112
- We're all kind of angry people and we yell all the--"
- 00:16:20.112 --> 00:16:22.481
- No, that's just a way to rationalize bad behavior.
- 00:16:22.481 --> 00:16:26.085
- When jesus enters the picture, everything changes.
- 00:16:26.085 --> 00:16:29.822
- And if it hasn't changed, has he really entered the picture?
- 00:16:29.822 --> 00:16:33.392
- The bible says: "if any man be in christ,
- 00:16:33.392 --> 00:16:35.794
- He is an altogether different kind of person.
- 00:16:35.794 --> 00:16:38.630
- Old things have passed away;
- 00:16:38.630 --> 00:16:40.566
- Behold, everything becomes fresh and new."
- 00:16:40.566 --> 00:16:44.503
- It rained last night, did you notice that?
- 00:16:44.503 --> 00:16:47.206
- We had a clap of thunder so loud,
- 00:16:47.206 --> 00:16:49.341
- I almost jumped out of my seat.
- 00:16:49.341 --> 00:16:51.577
- It felt like it happened right next to me, and everybody had
- 00:16:51.577 --> 00:16:55.180
- Their cars rained on, so it's the one time everyone finally
- 00:16:55.180 --> 00:16:59.651
- Washes their cars, right?
- 00:16:59.651 --> 00:17:01.787
- But i love when the rain is done and the sun comes out.
- 00:17:01.787 --> 00:17:06.925
- Everything is clean.
- 00:17:06.925 --> 00:17:08.660
- Maybe you might see a rainbow.
- 00:17:08.660 --> 00:17:10.195
- I love those.
- 00:17:10.195 --> 00:17:11.897
- And you know, you see all this rain and the storms
- 00:17:11.897 --> 00:17:14.666
- And you think, "oh, it's so awful," but god can work
- 00:17:14.666 --> 00:17:17.202
- And he can intervene and he can change the narrative.
- 00:17:17.202 --> 00:17:20.639
- So that's really if we want the narrative changed.
- 00:17:20.639 --> 00:17:23.942
- Here's the other reason god gives for divorce:
- 00:17:23.942 --> 00:17:26.712
- It's desertion.
- 00:17:26.712 --> 00:17:28.747
- Desertion.
- 00:17:28.747 --> 00:17:30.382
- 1 corinthians 7:13, paul says if a christian woman has a husband
- 00:17:30.382 --> 00:17:34.453
- Who's a non-believer and he's willing to continue
- 00:17:34.453 --> 00:17:36.955
- Living with her, she must not leave him.
- 00:17:36.955 --> 00:17:39.158
- Now we touched on this when we were in 1 peter 3
- 00:17:39.158 --> 00:17:41.560
- On how to get a new husband.
- 00:17:41.560 --> 00:17:43.028
- Remember what peter said?
- 00:17:43.028 --> 00:17:45.297
- That the wife, who's a christian, if she's married
- 00:17:45.297 --> 00:17:47.566
- To a non-believer, should win him without a word
- 00:17:47.566 --> 00:17:50.469
- By the way that she lives, okay?
- 00:17:50.469 --> 00:17:53.172
- So the bible's very clear in pointing out if you're married
- 00:17:53.172 --> 00:17:56.275
- To a non-believer, you should not terminate the marriage
- 00:17:56.275 --> 00:17:59.778
- For that reason.
- 00:17:59.778 --> 00:18:01.547
- Now i don't know why you're married to a non-believer.
- 00:18:01.547 --> 00:18:04.316
- If you're not married at all, let me just say,
- 00:18:04.316 --> 00:18:06.318
- You want to marry a christian.
- 00:18:06.318 --> 00:18:09.354
- It's very important.
- 00:18:09.354 --> 00:18:11.190
- Marriage is hard enough, okay?
- 00:18:11.190 --> 00:18:13.725
- You don't wanna make it harder when you don't even
- 00:18:13.725 --> 00:18:15.994
- Believe the same way.
- 00:18:15.994 --> 00:18:17.830
- But maybe both of you were non-believers
- 00:18:17.830 --> 00:18:20.599
- When you got married and one of you became a christian.
- 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:23.068
- Maybe you just said, "i don't care what the bible says,"
- 00:18:23.068 --> 00:18:25.337
- And you married a non-believer, and here you are and you're
- 00:18:25.337 --> 00:18:27.306
- Thinking, "i'm not so happy with this, and god spoke to me
- 00:18:27.306 --> 00:18:30.542
- The other day and said to me, 'dump your husband
- 00:18:30.542 --> 00:18:34.346
- Who's not a christian and marry that cute
- 00:18:34.346 --> 00:18:36.181
- Sensitive christian man you met at church.'
- 00:18:36.181 --> 00:18:38.984
- I heard god say this."
- 00:18:38.984 --> 00:18:41.587
- No, you did not.
- 00:18:41.587 --> 00:18:43.956
- Here's what god says.
- 00:18:43.956 --> 00:18:45.724
- I already read it to you.
- 00:18:45.724 --> 00:18:47.392
- If they wanna leave--or if they're a non-believer
- 00:18:47.392 --> 00:18:50.729
- And they're willing to live with you, don't leave them.
- 00:18:50.729 --> 00:18:53.866
- But then he goes on and says this in 1 corinthians 7:15:
- 00:18:53.866 --> 00:18:56.935
- "but if the husband or wife who is a christian
- 00:18:56.935 --> 00:18:59.605
- Insists on leaving, let them go.
- 00:18:59.605 --> 00:19:02.407
- In such cases, the christian husband or wife is not required
- 00:19:02.407 --> 00:19:05.844
- To stay with them, for god wants his children to live in peace."
- 00:19:05.844 --> 00:19:10.983
- So, if a non-believer leaves, and says, "i don't wanna be
- 00:19:10.983 --> 00:19:16.421
- Married to you anymore, i don't wanna live with you anymore.
- 00:19:16.421 --> 00:19:19.691
- I have a girlfriend," "i have a boyfriend," whatever,
- 00:19:19.691 --> 00:19:21.960
- "i'm out of here,"
- 00:19:21.960 --> 00:19:23.762
- You're no longer required to stay in that marriage.
- 00:19:23.762 --> 00:19:26.532
- You're free to remarry down the road.
- 00:19:26.532 --> 00:19:29.468
- You say, "well, what if they're a christian and they leave?"
- 00:19:29.468 --> 00:19:31.703
- Well, i would question if they're a christian,
- 00:19:31.703 --> 00:19:34.406
- If they would leave.
- 00:19:34.406 --> 00:19:35.974
- So i don't think the point is do they say they're a christian?
- 00:19:35.974 --> 00:19:38.477
- I think the big issue is did they leave you?
- 00:19:38.477 --> 00:19:41.113
- Did they abandon you?
- 00:19:41.113 --> 00:19:42.814
- Now, having said these things, there's so many complexities in
- 00:19:42.814 --> 00:19:45.951
- All of this stuff, 'cause some of you are thinking,
- 00:19:45.951 --> 00:19:47.886
- "yeah, but what about this and what about that?"
- 00:19:47.886 --> 00:19:49.421
- I can't deal with all of that.
- 00:19:49.421 --> 00:19:50.989
- You need biblical counseling and your situation
- 00:19:50.989 --> 00:19:54.026
- Needs to be looked at and see what the lord says,
- 00:19:54.026 --> 00:19:56.662
- 'cause sometimes there's a place for separation, not divorce.
- 00:19:56.662 --> 00:20:01.733
- Let's say you live in a home where there's an abusive spouse
- 00:20:01.733 --> 00:20:04.937
- And they hit, they get drunk,
- 00:20:04.937 --> 00:20:07.406
- They endanger you or your children.
- 00:20:07.406 --> 00:20:09.641
- "well, i guess god wants me to just stay here."
- 00:20:09.641 --> 00:20:11.743
- No, you are free to separate from that person.
- 00:20:11.743 --> 00:20:14.880
- If your life is in danger, aye, and challenge them
- 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:19.284
- To get it together, and to get help and to change.
- 00:20:19.284 --> 00:20:23.322
- And so you need to keep yourself safe
- 00:20:23.322 --> 00:20:25.624
- And keep your children safe.
- 00:20:25.624 --> 00:20:27.726
- But having said that, the ultimate goal,
- 00:20:27.726 --> 00:20:31.863
- Even in separation, is reconciliation.
- 00:20:31.863 --> 00:20:35.400
- It's not like i'm taking a vacation from you 'cause you
- 00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:37.669
- Drive me crazy 'cause you don't put the, you know, cap back
- 00:20:37.669 --> 00:20:41.006
- On the toothpaste or what's the--it's more like, "hey,
- 00:20:41.006 --> 00:20:43.809
- We need time apart, and you need to get biblical counsel.
- 00:20:43.809 --> 00:20:47.145
- We can get it together so we can ultimately reconcile.
- 00:20:47.145 --> 00:20:50.349
- I find it interesting that there's no verse in the bible
- 00:20:50.349 --> 00:20:53.285
- That says, "also you can divorce
- 00:20:53.285 --> 00:20:55.387
- Because of irreconcilable differences."
- 00:20:55.387 --> 00:20:59.791
- And how many marriages have been dissolved
- 00:20:59.791 --> 00:21:01.860
- Because of "irreconcilable differences"?
- 00:21:01.860 --> 00:21:05.664
- Listen, i've told you this before.
- 00:21:05.664 --> 00:21:08.000
- I have had irreconcilable differences with my wife
- 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:11.136
- For almost 50 years.
- 00:21:11.136 --> 00:21:13.171
- We're very different people, very different.
- 00:21:13.171 --> 00:21:17.309
- She's very neat, i'm kind of messy.
- 00:21:17.309 --> 00:21:20.579
- She's sometimes late, i'm often early.
- 00:21:20.579 --> 00:21:23.181
- She's cute and i'm fat.
- 00:21:23.181 --> 00:21:25.250
- It's irreconcilable.
- 00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:28.120
- No, but i'm kind of making light of it because, of course,
- 00:21:28.120 --> 00:21:30.689
- You're different.
- 00:21:30.689 --> 00:21:32.291
- It might have been that very difference
- 00:21:32.291 --> 00:21:34.059
- That drew you together.
- 00:21:34.059 --> 00:21:35.427
- Ever heard of opposites attracting?
- 00:21:35.427 --> 00:21:38.063
- So that strength that they bring is maybe a strength
- 00:21:38.063 --> 00:21:41.099
- You didn't have and vice versa, but this is what the bible says:
- 00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:44.836
- "but even if divorce happens, it doesn't mean there's no hope."
- 00:21:44.836 --> 00:21:49.875
- I received a letter from a listener to our radio broadcast
- 00:21:49.875 --> 00:21:52.611
- In new beginning.
- 00:21:52.611 --> 00:21:54.212
- And this lady writes, "dear greg,
- 00:21:54.212 --> 00:21:56.048
- I've been listening to your program for 15 years.
- 00:21:56.048 --> 00:21:58.583
- I was struggling with a marriage that was not going very well.
- 00:21:58.583 --> 00:22:01.787
- We'd been married for 25 years,
- 00:22:01.787 --> 00:22:03.822
- But my husband and i got a divorce.
- 00:22:03.822 --> 00:22:06.491
- However, as i was listening to your marriage series on air,
- 00:22:06.491 --> 00:22:10.495
- I was able to grow and be changed and i learned
- 00:22:10.495 --> 00:22:14.066
- To love my husband in a way i never knew was possible
- 00:22:14.066 --> 00:22:16.635
- And now we are married again."
- 00:22:16.635 --> 00:22:19.571
- Isn't that great?
- 00:22:19.571 --> 00:22:23.208
- She continues on: "for the past 5 years,
- 00:22:23.208 --> 00:22:25.911
- It's been such a blessing."
- 00:22:25.911 --> 00:22:28.680
- So divorce happens but here's a woman that remarried her husband
- 00:22:28.680 --> 00:22:33.452
- And it's better than ever.
- 00:22:33.452 --> 00:22:35.053
- We wanna divorce-proof our marriage.
- 00:22:35.053 --> 00:22:37.356
- How do we do that?
- 00:22:37.356 --> 00:22:38.924
- Here in california, we always have our predictable wildfires
- 00:22:38.924 --> 00:22:42.494
- In the summer, right?
- 00:22:42.494 --> 00:22:44.663
- And i remember a number of years ago, seeing a photo of a home
- 00:22:44.663 --> 00:22:49.301
- That was standing there and it was surrounded by all of these
- 00:22:49.301 --> 00:22:53.505
- Burned down homes, and i mean burned to their foundation.
- 00:22:53.505 --> 00:22:57.042
- Nothing left of these homes, and here stands this home still
- 00:22:57.042 --> 00:23:00.579
- Affected by some smoke damage, but the structure was fine.
- 00:23:00.579 --> 00:23:06.418
- And so, they did a little article about
- 00:23:06.418 --> 00:23:08.620
- Why did this home survive the wildfire?
- 00:23:08.620 --> 00:23:12.624
- They interviewed the owner of the home.
- 00:23:12.624 --> 00:23:14.659
- He said, "what did you do?"
- 00:23:14.659 --> 00:23:16.061
- He says, "well, i found out what was required
- 00:23:16.061 --> 00:23:18.797
- And went beyond it."
- 00:23:18.797 --> 00:23:20.732
- He did double-pane windows, extra thick stucco walls,
- 00:23:20.732 --> 00:23:24.403
- Sealed eaves, concrete tile roof, and abundant insulation.
- 00:23:24.403 --> 00:23:30.809
- So the firefighters went to that neighborhood and said,
- 00:23:30.809 --> 00:23:33.044
- "let's make a stand at this home.
- 00:23:33.044 --> 00:23:35.414
- We think it will withstand the fire."
- 00:23:35.414 --> 00:23:37.816
- I'm asking you to make a stand today for your marriage.
- 00:23:37.816 --> 00:23:41.420
- Only you can make it.
- 00:23:41.420 --> 00:23:43.321
- I can't make it for you, we can't make it for you.
- 00:23:43.321 --> 00:23:45.791
- Only you can stand up as a man, a woman, a husband or a wife,
- 00:23:45.791 --> 00:23:49.327
- And say, "as for me and my house, we will serve the lord.
- 00:23:49.327 --> 00:23:53.131
- It's not happening here.
- 00:23:53.131 --> 00:23:55.133
- This home is standing."
- 00:23:55.133 --> 00:23:59.471
- Infidelity is not coming into this home.
- 00:23:59.471 --> 00:24:03.542
- Divorce is not coming into this home.
- 00:24:03.542 --> 00:24:05.977
- You make that choice.
- 00:24:05.977 --> 00:24:12.551
- Greg: maybe god has spoken
- 00:24:16.154 --> 00:24:18.056
- To your heart and you have seen your need for jesus christ.
- 00:24:18.056 --> 00:24:22.961
- Jesus christ is the son of god who came from heaven
- 00:24:22.961 --> 00:24:26.798
- To this earth.
- 00:24:26.798 --> 00:24:28.300
- He was born in a manger, he died on cross,
- 00:24:28.300 --> 00:24:31.670
- He rose again from the dead; why?
- 00:24:31.670 --> 00:24:33.939
- Because he loves you and he wants a relationship with you.
- 00:24:33.939 --> 00:24:37.576
- Listen, i'm not talking about religion.
- 00:24:37.576 --> 00:24:39.644
- I don't wanna be a religious person,
- 00:24:39.644 --> 00:24:41.646
- I don't think you wanna be one either,
- 00:24:41.646 --> 00:24:43.582
- I'm talking about relationship with god.
- 00:24:43.582 --> 00:24:46.918
- Jesus who died and rose again stands at the door of your life
- 00:24:46.918 --> 00:24:51.490
- And he knocks and he says, "if you'll hear his voice
- 00:24:51.490 --> 00:24:54.292
- And open the door, he will come in."
- 00:24:54.292 --> 00:24:56.495
- Question:
- 00:24:56.495 --> 00:24:57.996
- Have you asked jesus christ to come and live inside of you?
- 00:24:57.996 --> 00:25:00.732
- You might say, "well, i think so, i'm not sure."
- 00:25:00.732 --> 00:25:02.901
- Hey, if someone moved into your house in the middle
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- Of the night, do you think you would be aware of it?
- 00:25:05.103 --> 00:25:08.006
- I'm sure you would.
- 00:25:08.006 --> 00:25:09.741
- And in the same way, if christ has come to live inside of you,
- 00:25:09.741 --> 00:25:12.577
- You will know, and if you don't know,
- 00:25:12.577 --> 00:25:15.146
- Maybe he has not come in yet, he's just a prayer away.
- 00:25:15.146 --> 00:25:18.950
- All you need to do is say, "jesus, i want this relationship
- 00:25:18.950 --> 00:25:22.521
- With you, i want you to forgive me of my sin,
- 00:25:22.521 --> 00:25:25.357
- I wanna go to heaven when i die."
- 00:25:25.357 --> 00:25:27.893
- Would you like to do that?
- 00:25:27.893 --> 00:25:29.461
- Would you like christ to come into your life?
- 00:25:29.461 --> 00:25:31.396
- If so, why don't you just pray the simple prayer with me.
- 00:25:31.396 --> 00:25:34.733
- You can pray it out loud or you can pray it in the quietness
- 00:25:34.733 --> 00:25:38.003
- Of your heart.
- 00:25:38.003 --> 00:25:39.337
- But this is a prayer where you're asking jesus christ
- 00:25:39.337 --> 00:25:41.806
- To be your savior and lord, pray this with me now.
- 00:25:41.806 --> 00:25:45.343
- "lord jesus, i know that i'm a sinner,
- 00:25:45.343 --> 00:25:48.613
- But i know that you're the savior.
- 00:25:48.613 --> 00:25:51.016
- Who died on the cross for my sin and rose again from the dead.
- 00:25:51.016 --> 00:25:55.220
- Now come into my life.
- 00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:57.489
- I choose to follow you from this moment forward.
- 00:25:57.489 --> 00:26:01.826
- Thank you for hearing this prayer
- 00:26:01.826 --> 00:26:04.362
- And answering this prayer.
- 00:26:04.362 --> 00:26:06.197
- In jesus's name, amen."
- 00:26:06.197 --> 00:26:08.600
- Did you just pray that prayer with me?
- 00:26:08.600 --> 00:26:11.303
- If so, i want you to know in the authority of scripture
- 00:26:11.303 --> 00:26:14.372
- That christ himself has come to live inside of you.
- 00:26:14.372 --> 00:26:17.642
- And i would love to send to you, at no charge,
- 00:26:17.642 --> 00:26:20.445
- "the new believer's bible."
- 00:26:20.445 --> 00:26:22.180
- It's a very friendly translation of the new testament
- 00:26:22.180 --> 00:26:24.983
- You'll find very understandable, and it's filled with hundreds
- 00:26:24.983 --> 00:26:28.320
- Of notes that i wrote that will encourage you
- 00:26:28.320 --> 00:26:31.623
- In this commitment you've just made to follow jesus.
- 00:26:31.623 --> 00:26:34.593
- And let me be the first to say to you, "congratulations,
- 00:26:34.659 --> 00:26:38.129
- And welcome to the family of god."
- 00:26:38.129 --> 00:26:41.600
- Greg: greg laurie here.
- 00:26:45.136 --> 00:26:46.504
- You know, at harvest ministries we're committing to reaching
- 00:26:46.504 --> 00:26:48.907
- Unexpected people in unexpected places with an
- 00:26:48.907 --> 00:26:52.310
- Unexpected message.
- 00:26:52.310 --> 00:26:53.945
- And thanks to your financial support, we've been able to
- 00:26:53.945 --> 00:26:58.350
- Touch people all over the world with the hope of jesus christ.
- 00:26:58.350 --> 00:27:03.154
- Together we've been able to minister to so many people
- 00:27:03.154 --> 00:27:06.257
- Devastated by the fires in lahaina on the island of maui.
- 00:27:06.257 --> 00:27:10.328
- And also, your support has helped us partner to bring
- 00:27:10.328 --> 00:27:13.798
- Medical help in the ongoing conflict in israel.
- 00:27:13.798 --> 00:27:17.068
- So i'm asking you today to continue to support this
- 00:27:17.068 --> 00:27:20.205
- Ministry so we can do everything possible to fulfill the
- 00:27:20.205 --> 00:27:24.476
- Great commission.
- 00:27:24.476 --> 00:27:25.844
- Let's do this together, and let me say in advance,
- 00:27:25.844 --> 00:27:28.847
- Thank you and god bless you.
- 00:27:28.847 --> 00:27:30.000
