Ines Franklin & Rhonda Stoppe: Cultivating Family Unity with Love and Grace | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron

May 4, 2026 | 53:27

Kirk Cameron is joined by Ines Franklin and Rhonda Stoppe sharing the joys and challenges of parenting and raising strong godly families in today’s culture.

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Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | Ines Franklin & Rhonda Stoppe: Cultivating Family Unity with Love and Grace | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | May 4, 2026

Kirk cameron: if you've ever built a house, you know it takes
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Time, and it's a process of so many parts coming together in
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The right order.
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If you wanna have a good house, you need a strong foundation
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Before you jump right into choosing what color curtains to
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Hang in the bonus room.
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The same goes with building a family.
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It helps to have a strong foundation of love, of patience,
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And support for each other.
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And that can take time too, especially if your family grows
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Into a blended family.
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My guest today, ines franklin, will share practical strategies
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On raising children in blended family situations, and rhonda
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Stoppe will give us insight on the different moms from biblical
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History and what we can learn from them.
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Ines franklin: this is how we're going to do this family, god
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First, then our marriage, and then our children, and that was
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A very difficult conversation to have with our children.
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Rhonda stoppe: sometimes your trial is not about you.
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Your trial can validate your testimony of your faith in
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Your god.
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God's called us to the ministry of motherhood and to what he has
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Called us, he will equip us.
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Kirk: it's all happening right now on "takeaways."
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[music]
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Kirk: my first guest, ines franklin, is the founder and
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President of trochia ministries.
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She's also the host of "the journey we share" podcast and
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The author of "blended and blessed: family unity and
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Healing through the beatitudes."
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Ines, thanks so much for coming on "takeaways."
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Ines: well, thank you for having me,
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It's really a pleasure.
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Kirk: well, i'm really excited about this book that you've
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Written, and it's hot off the presses.
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People are gonna be so excited to read it, especially those in
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Blended families.
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My wife and i, we're not a classically blended family from
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Prior marriages, but we have adopted children, and so, we
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Have children that come in hardwired with
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Different experiences and
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Things from being babies and then just, you know, their
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Genetics and all of that, so this is really a relevant topic
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And you have such personal experience in this.
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So thank you for writing the book.
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Ines: thank you.
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Your family is a good example of why i expand the term blended
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Because blended could be any time we connect people from
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Different backgrounds into a family.
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We're not starting all together and moving as a unit, but now
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We've got these new additions and backgrounds that affect how
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It works.
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Kirk: you know, when you really think about it, a marriage is
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Already starting out as a blended family, right?
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You came from a country that your husband didn't, and i came
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From a family and a culture and a universe that my wife didn't.
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I'm california, she's new york.
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That's like the collision of worlds, and it already starts
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Out blended.
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So i think all of us can benefit from what you have here.
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What inspired you to write the book?
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Ines: well, i'm in a blended family myself.
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My husband and i have his and hers adopted, as you have.
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We have halves, steps, exes, and we have in-laws.
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By the way, i include in-laws.
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Kirk: in-laws, sometimes outlaws.
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Ines: well, yes.
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Kirk: but we call them in-laws to keep the peace.
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Ines: yes, and so 23 years of marriage and journeying on this
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Path of being blended, we've learned a lot, and you know,
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We're just one family, so i don't wanna say that i know what
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Every blended family is like, but we've learned a lot, and we
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Wanted to share that with others.
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Kirk: and i love how you're using the beatitudes as part of
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The lens through which families can look at the unique
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Challenges and blessings that come with blended families.
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Jesus has all the wisdom that we need and the sermon on the
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Mount, if i had only that alone, i would have what i need, i
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Believe, to live a good life.
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You talk in your book about how sometimes when we have a blended
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Family, it feels like we're living out god's plan b, that
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This is not the plan a that we ideally are looking for, and
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Families feel guilt and shame over this.
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What are some things that you could say to encourage them?
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Ines: well, and that's, yes, that's the reason i wrote the
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Book because i do think in a sense, it's a little harder to
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Explain to someone what your family looks like when someone
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Says, "well, you know, how many kids do you have or what's your
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Family like?"
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And now it takes longer to explain, "well, this kid's from
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This and that," and it gets complicated.
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And yes, we start to feel like we're second class, we're god's
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Plan b, or maybe not even in god's plan altogether.
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That is not true.
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Look at the bible, so many stories of families that are
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Blended, which is really remarkable.
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Jesus himself, right, half siblings.
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Kirk: that's right.
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Ines: and the church, revelation 7:9 is a blended family that god
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Creates from every nation, tongue, language, and people.
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And so i want to have blended families rise up and own the
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Fact that they have wisdom to share with others.
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We learn redemption, we learn the messiness of human
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Relationships from day one.
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The minute you become blended, it's complicated.
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And if we trust jesus, he will help us deal with that
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Complexity through his redemptive love and power, and
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We can share that with others, and i hope they will do that.
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Kirk: so has your experience having a blended family with
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Children from different marriages and exes and all of
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That, has it always been a bed of roses?
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I mean, you're the expert on it now, right?
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You've written a book about it.
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I believe there's been moments of redemption coming out of
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Chaos and confusion into peace and harmony.
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Can you share some of those experiences?
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Ines: yes, we did not, no, this is not a book about--it's about
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The reality and the complexity of being blended and how we have
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Actually walked all those journeys, but that with christ
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In the center, there's nothing so messy that jesus can't redeem
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And transform.
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And so, and that's still happening today.
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We've been married 23 years and there's still stuff that happens
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It could happen tomorrow, but with jesus at the center, we
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Will work through it, and that's what we've learned.
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So a lot in the book it talks about some of the messy stories
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That i've lived and also how jesus showed up in those very
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Messy moments.
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Kirk: well, i want to get into those very specific beatitudes
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And how they can bring about redemption in our
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Specific situations.
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Often with a blended family, the first year is the most
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Troublesome year, right?
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We've never done this.
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Ines: two, i'm gonna say two. kirk: for two years?
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Ines: i'm gonna say two. kirk: two years.
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So what are some of the unique challenges that families face?
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Maybe someone's watching right now and they've just begun this
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Blended family, and they don't know what the journey is like.
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What can they expect and what are some things you can offer to
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Help them?
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Ines: yeah, the first thing is awareness.
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I think when we get married to someone we're in love with, we
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Have this rosy glasses, "oh, it's gonna be amazing," but we
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Don't realize we're bringing our children along and something
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Maybe they did not sign up for.
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So the awareness of--and which happens fairly quickly, "oh this
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Is hard."
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I remember my daughters one day saying, "well, he's not my dad.
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Why do i have to listen to him?"
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And it sort of shocked me.
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"he's the father of the home now he's the leader," but it was
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Obvious to me, not to them.
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So awareness of how things will get a little complicated.
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And this is why i say two years because we can hold on tight for
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A while, but at the second year, it's harder to do.
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And so i think at that point is when you realize like loyalty
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Conflicts, like who do i--how do i love my mom who lives in a
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Different house and my dad, and now there's this new person in
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My life for a child.
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They get very confused on how to be loyal.
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Parents deciding like, how do we co-parent well with each other?
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A step parent knowing, "what is my role?
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How do i step in?
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Do i discipline the child?
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Is it okay for me to do that?
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Or do i have so little equity that our relationship can't
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Build if i become that parent right away?"
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So there's a lot of complexities and things that show up fairly
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Quickly, but first is this awareness of it's gonna be
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Complicated, it doesn't mean hopeless.
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But it will be complicated.
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Kirk: yeah, that's one of the specialties of the lord is
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Dealing with complicated things, tangled messes that seem like a
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Bird's nest of complications and details, and he's able to, in
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His perfect timing, simplify things and sometimes the
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Complicated messes i've found are the very things that drive
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Us to trust and depend on the lord when we realize we can't
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Figure this stuff out ourselves.
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Ines: so true and also it's how we get to shine a light on what
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He can do because again, this is why i think blended families are
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So special because every family can show the beautiful powerful
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Magnificent love of god and his redemptive plan and how
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He works.
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But when you start in a mess, when you start in a complex
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Situation and way, way back here and jesus moves you forward, not
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To perfection but forward, well that light now is even brighter.
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So i just want blended families that trust jesus to like tell
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The story and share what jesus has done because he can do
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Amazing things.
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I really believe that.
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Kirk: for a lot of people, the teachings of jesus, the words in
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Red in the bible are some of our favorites.
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I mean, here's god, the word of god in human flesh who's
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Speaking to human beings, i mean, this is--we should just
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Sit there and soak in every word, and you've chosen the
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Beatitudes, part of the sermon on the mount, as a lens through
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Which people can understand some of these complexities
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And difficulties.
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What's one beatitude you can give us as an example that has
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Made a practical difference in your co-parenting or
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Your step-parenting?
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Ines: so, blessed are the peacemakers and as i studied
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That beatitude, it's a very active role, you know,
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Peacekeeping can be of like keep your mouth shut, don't say
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Anything, but peacemaking, actually requires an action.
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It's not a weak stance.
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And i had a conflict with my stepdaughter, and i really
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Was struggling.
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She really felt that the issue that we were dealing with
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Determined whether or not i loved her, and she had attached
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That, "if you love me, you will not do this."
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That's basically how she was putting it to me.
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So therefore the question was, "do you love me?"
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And i had to sort out how do i show her love and so the
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Beatitude of blessed are the peacemakers meant that we went
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To that meeting, i had a meeting at a coffee shop with her, and
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The decision was the relationship was the hostage
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That was about to be destroyed if i didn't handle the
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Situation well.
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And so i focused on our relationship.
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As we were talking about the issue, our relationship was the
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Most precious thing.
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I was not willing to lose our relationship because of
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The issue.
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And so that beatitude helped me know that flourishing are
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The peacemakers.
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Flourishing are the ones who entered into those difficult
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Conversations, you know, we were having a white knuckle
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Conversation at a coffee shop.
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The whole world, who knows what was happening 'cause it was her
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And i and i was trying to save the hostage, our relationship,
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And she was too and what was neat is we put all of the branch
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On the table and our conversation did save
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Our relationship.
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The situation still did not get resolved the way she wanted, but
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She knew i loved her and that, i think that beatitude helped me
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With that.
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Kirk: what you did is really difficult.
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It takes a lot of courage and to know that you used one of
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Jesus's principles, "blessed are the peacemakers," and that it
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Worked, you were able to speak the truth in love and save the
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Relationship is really encouraging to me.
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Ines: thank you.
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Kirk: give us another beatitude that you outlined in your book
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That was helpful for you.
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Ines: yeah, "blessed are those who hunger and thirst
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For righteousness."
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When we come into a family situation, we want it to
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Be beautiful.
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We want it to be wonderful.
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We have this deep desire for our family.
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And when it doesn't pan out that way, when the expectations don't
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Happen as we were hoping for, we get deeply discouraged.
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And i believe what's so beautiful about that beatitude
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Is like god wants us to constantly hunger for what is
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Good and we can do that.
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We can hunger for what is good, but then we have to trust god to
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Be the one to fill us when we're in that hunger place.
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And so as a blended family, always hunger for the family to
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Be better, always hunger for good things to come out of
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These relationships.
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Maybe it's not happening.
00:12:23.999 --> 00:12:25.467
Maybe it's, you know, don't lose hope essentially.
00:12:25.467 --> 00:12:29.238
Don't lose hope.
00:12:29.238 --> 00:12:30.573
Always seek for the good and over time good will come.
00:12:30.573 --> 00:12:34.343
It might look different.
00:12:34.343 --> 00:12:36.011
It might be a different timing.
00:12:36.011 --> 00:12:37.479
It might come from a different angle, but good will come
00:12:37.479 --> 00:12:40.115
Because it says, "they shall be filled," and i believe that.
00:12:40.115 --> 00:12:44.486
Kirk: you're exactly right.
00:12:44.486 --> 00:12:45.821
You're saying that we've got to wait on the lord's perfect
00:12:45.821 --> 00:12:47.857
Timing to fill us of the good things that we're looking for in
00:12:47.857 --> 00:12:51.927
Our kids' relationship and the family relationship.
00:12:51.927 --> 00:12:54.930
And a friend of mine reminded me that this waiting on the lord
00:12:54.930 --> 00:12:58.567
Thing, as you said, is not passive.
00:12:58.567 --> 00:13:00.336
In fact, it's a very active stance because his definition is
00:13:00.336 --> 00:13:04.773
Living in the expectation of god's care.
00:13:04.773 --> 00:13:07.509
Ines: oh come on, i love that.
00:13:07.509 --> 00:13:08.878
'cause so many times in a blended family, you might act in
00:13:08.878 --> 00:13:11.947
Love and generosity and kindness, it may may not get
00:13:11.947 --> 00:13:15.384
Returned and we could throw in the towel and say, "well, this
00:13:15.384 --> 00:13:18.120
Kid's impossible.
00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:19.488
This situation is impossible, it's hopeless."
00:13:19.488 --> 00:13:21.423
We can disconnect.
00:13:21.423 --> 00:13:22.758
And i think, "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
00:13:22.758 --> 00:13:26.195
Righteousness," does not leave room for us to step out.
00:13:26.195 --> 00:13:29.899
We can't tap out.
00:13:29.899 --> 00:13:31.233
We have to stay at it.
00:13:31.233 --> 00:13:32.568
I saw that happen in my family where i loved and loved and
00:13:32.568 --> 00:13:35.838
Loved for years without any return, and it took about seven
00:13:35.838 --> 00:13:40.276
Years in our marriage for me to hear my stepdaughter say, "i
00:13:40.276 --> 00:13:43.045
Love you."
00:13:43.045 --> 00:13:44.680
It was the most precious moment.
00:13:44.680 --> 00:13:46.115
I mean, truly it--and still to my to this day, but and it
00:13:46.115 --> 00:13:50.085
Wasn't like if it took another ten years or it didn't happen,
00:13:50.085 --> 00:13:54.223
That beatitude says you keep seeking for the good.
00:13:54.223 --> 00:13:57.192
Kirk: yeah, yeah, i wanna get into so much more of this, and
00:13:57.192 --> 00:13:59.495
We will in just a minute.
00:13:59.495 --> 00:14:00.863
When we come back, we'll talk more with ines about setting
00:14:00.863 --> 00:14:03.832
Boundaries with your children and then later in the program,
00:14:03.832 --> 00:14:07.002
Rhonda stoppe is gonna share with us insights about the
00:14:07.002 --> 00:14:09.939
Different moms described throughout the bible, so stay
00:14:09.939 --> 00:14:12.875
With us.
00:14:12.875 --> 00:14:14.209
Rhonda: so the first thing is that we have to live in a way in
00:14:14.209 --> 00:14:16.745
A manner worthy of our calling, which is motherhood, and live in
00:14:16.745 --> 00:14:19.815
A light that draws them to wanna know our savior.
00:14:19.815 --> 00:14:22.384
[music]
00:14:23.018 --> 00:14:28.006
[music]
00:14:28.893 --> 00:14:34.065
Kirk: we're back.
00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:37.435
Speaker and author, ines franklin, is sharing how a
00:14:37.435 --> 00:14:39.904
Blended family is more than just two merged households.
00:14:39.904 --> 00:14:43.007
It's an opportunity to build a culture that reflects christ
00:14:43.007 --> 00:14:48.079
When we trust him.
00:14:48.079 --> 00:14:50.247
The beatitudes as a lens through which we can view our blended
00:14:50.247 --> 00:14:55.553
Family situation and find helpful strategies to bring hope
00:14:55.553 --> 00:15:00.558
And healing and encouragement to the family.
00:15:00.558 --> 00:15:02.927
It's so brilliant.
00:15:02.927 --> 00:15:04.295
Ines: thank you. thank you.
00:15:04.295 --> 00:15:05.629
Well that's because jesus came up with that.
00:15:05.629 --> 00:15:07.031
Kirk: he did.
00:15:07.031 --> 00:15:08.366
He did.
00:15:08.366 --> 00:15:09.700
And there's always new applications for the sermon on
00:15:09.700 --> 00:15:11.102
The mount and the beatitudes.
00:15:11.102 --> 00:15:13.170
I love that you're applying them relationally to your children
00:15:13.170 --> 00:15:15.873
And to your spouse.
00:15:15.873 --> 00:15:19.377
What is one boundary that you had to set in your blended
00:15:19.377 --> 00:15:23.514
Family that felt uncomfortable at first but in the end turned
00:15:23.514 --> 00:15:27.852
Out to be a lifesaver?
00:15:27.852 --> 00:15:30.588
Ines: oh, a big one.
00:15:30.588 --> 00:15:32.356
And this was someone actually encouraged my husband and i to
00:15:32.356 --> 00:15:35.526
Do this, and that was to set up a hierarchy in our family.
00:15:35.526 --> 00:15:40.164
Our marriage was below god, so god number one for both of us,
00:15:40.164 --> 00:15:45.536
Then our marriage, then a real close second, our children.
00:15:45.536 --> 00:15:50.941
We're his and hers situation.
00:15:50.941 --> 00:15:53.244
So it meant that our relationship was paramount so
00:15:53.244 --> 00:15:57.014
That we can be good parents to these children, but we had to
00:15:57.014 --> 00:15:59.817
Sit down with them and tell them this, this is how we're going to
00:15:59.817 --> 00:16:03.287
Do this family god first, then our marriage, and then
00:16:03.287 --> 00:16:07.024
Our children.
00:16:07.024 --> 00:16:08.392
And that was a very difficult conversation to have with
00:16:08.392 --> 00:16:11.195
Our children.
00:16:11.195 --> 00:16:12.563
Kirk: i bet that it was, yeah.
00:16:12.563 --> 00:16:14.365
'cause i can imagine, i've not been in that situation with a
00:16:14.365 --> 00:16:18.436
Blended family, you know, like with a stepmom or a stepdad or
00:16:18.436 --> 00:16:21.072
Something like that, but i would imagine the kids would just
00:16:21.072 --> 00:16:24.041
Naturally assume, "well, mom, i've known you my whole life,
00:16:24.041 --> 00:16:27.545
And so this guy should be under us," right?
00:16:27.545 --> 00:16:31.449
Ines: yes, yes, and that, we were told early on when that
00:16:31.449 --> 00:16:35.352
Hierarchy happens, which is very common in blended families, that
00:16:35.352 --> 00:16:38.923
Creates a lot of friction for the children.
00:16:38.923 --> 00:16:41.826
They're constantly trying to compete, am i loved?
00:16:41.826 --> 00:16:44.128
Am i loved?
00:16:44.128 --> 00:16:45.496
Of course, both jim and i love our children deeply and they're
00:16:45.496 --> 00:16:49.066
Extremely important to us, and believe me if one of us was
00:16:49.066 --> 00:16:51.135
Harming our children, it would be an issue.
00:16:51.135 --> 00:16:54.605
So this is not about allowing for abuse or
00:16:54.605 --> 00:16:57.975
Inappropriate behavior.
00:16:57.975 --> 00:16:59.410
That's not what i mean.
00:16:59.410 --> 00:17:00.778
It's more about making our marriage so important that we
00:17:00.778 --> 00:17:03.514
Were invested in it so that our children could have that
00:17:03.514 --> 00:17:06.517
Foundation support and they, you know, i've been divorced.
00:17:06.517 --> 00:17:10.254
My husband's been divorced, so they had reason to believe is
00:17:10.254 --> 00:17:12.756
This gonna last?
00:17:12.756 --> 00:17:14.291
And so, we wanted to know we are dedicated to make this last and
00:17:14.291 --> 00:17:17.328
We're gonna be surrendered to god as our leader and let him
00:17:17.328 --> 00:17:20.965
Guide us and grow us so we can be good parents to you and
00:17:20.965 --> 00:17:24.969
You're a priority, no question about it.
00:17:24.969 --> 00:17:26.704
The rest of the world is after you, but we're gonna make sure
00:17:26.704 --> 00:17:30.007
We're solid so that you can have a solid foundation to live on.
00:17:30.007 --> 00:17:33.544
So that's just so important and we noticed that by even though
00:17:33.544 --> 00:17:36.380
The conversation was hard, by living this out, now we see our
00:17:36.380 --> 00:17:40.618
Children doing the same.
00:17:40.618 --> 00:17:41.986
They're all married and they have a very similar frame for
00:17:41.986 --> 00:17:44.822
The--not similar.
00:17:44.822 --> 00:17:46.190
Same frame for their family and we see the fruit of it, which is
00:17:46.190 --> 00:17:49.326
A sense of safety and holding, you know, they feel like our
00:17:49.326 --> 00:17:54.398
Marriage is gonna last all the way through.
00:17:54.398 --> 00:17:56.567
And there's a confidence that comes with that that especially
00:17:56.567 --> 00:17:59.537
Children who've been through divorce need.
00:17:59.537 --> 00:18:01.705
They really need it.
00:18:01.705 --> 00:18:04.441
Kirk: talk for a moment to husbands, wives, who are the
00:18:04.441 --> 00:18:09.213
Newcomer to a family.
00:18:09.213 --> 00:18:10.881
What are some things that a new husband, a new wife can do to
00:18:10.881 --> 00:18:15.119
Strengthen relationships with the children while still
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:17.988
Navigating these complexities?
00:18:17.988 --> 00:18:20.724
Ines: so your relationship with jesus is paramount.
00:18:20.724 --> 00:18:23.861
So have a highly dedicated faith that you are intentional about,
00:18:23.861 --> 00:18:30.100
Reading scripture, being in small group and accountability
00:18:30.100 --> 00:18:33.237
Groups, you know, serving in the church, being generous with what
00:18:33.237 --> 00:18:36.740
God gives you, walk with jesus number one.
00:18:36.740 --> 00:18:39.710
And then the second is grace, grace, grace, more grace, and
00:18:39.710 --> 00:18:44.315
Then grace because everybody needs a lot of grace in a family
00:18:44.315 --> 00:18:49.553
That's blended.
00:18:49.553 --> 00:18:50.921
And so yeah, it means that you're gonna get hurt, things
00:18:50.921 --> 00:18:53.324
Are gonna be said, things are gonna be done that will be
00:18:53.324 --> 00:18:56.327
Painful and again i am not advocating for any form of abuse
00:18:56.327 --> 00:18:59.863
So outside of that, humans are humans, we hurt each other and
00:18:59.863 --> 00:19:05.769
We come with a lot of past hurt and so a lot of times that
00:19:05.769 --> 00:19:09.273
Frames how we experience one another grace, grace,
00:19:09.273 --> 00:19:12.810
Grace, grace.
00:19:12.810 --> 00:19:14.144
Kirk: would you give the same advice to a new spouse who is
00:19:14.144 --> 00:19:19.383
Looking to build this brand new relationship and they come with
00:19:19.383 --> 00:19:24.888
So much of a past story, right?
00:19:24.888 --> 00:19:26.924
My ex-wife, my ex-husband, maybe they're a widow or whatever the
00:19:26.924 --> 00:19:32.129
Situation is, how do you build that relationship while the
00:19:32.129 --> 00:19:35.132
Kids, you know, are sort of like struggling all around you?
00:19:35.132 --> 00:19:39.203
Ines: yes, well, it's not easy.
00:19:39.203 --> 00:19:40.571
I mean, that's part of--
00:19:40.571 --> 00:19:41.905
Kirk: is it grace, grace, grace, and then a little bit more grace
00:19:41.905 --> 00:19:43.641
And grace?
00:19:43.641 --> 00:19:44.975
Ines: yes, and mercy and forgiveness and love and all the
00:19:44.975 --> 00:19:46.477
Words, which is why the beatitudes are the frame,
00:19:46.477 --> 00:19:49.780
Because listen, the beatitudes, they're very beautiful and
00:19:49.780 --> 00:19:52.683
Very encouraging.
00:19:52.683 --> 00:19:54.051
They're promises of god, but they're also challenging because
00:19:54.051 --> 00:19:56.287
They're calling us to an upside down thinking.
00:19:56.287 --> 00:19:58.789
They call us to humility, to dependence on god.
00:19:58.789 --> 00:20:01.558
They call us to be okay with grief and mourning.
00:20:01.558 --> 00:20:04.695
We don't make room sometimes.
00:20:04.695 --> 00:20:06.230
I know we struggle with making room for our children to grieve
00:20:06.230 --> 00:20:09.300
The losses they came into this marriage with.
00:20:09.300 --> 00:20:12.169
I mean, someone told me this, when a blended family comes
00:20:12.169 --> 00:20:14.872
Together, something broke, and you just listed a number of
00:20:14.872 --> 00:20:19.109
Reasons why this can happen and so we don't make time for
00:20:19.109 --> 00:20:23.213
Appropriate grieving and acknowledging, "hey, you lost
00:20:23.213 --> 00:20:28.085
That," or a dream was lost that we need to acknowledge.
00:20:28.085 --> 00:20:32.323
And so there's a lot to do as a new parent into a family to
00:20:32.323 --> 00:20:37.795
Build trust, but it takes time.
00:20:37.795 --> 00:20:40.864
And so my suggestion is go back to the beatitudes.
00:20:40.864 --> 00:20:44.702
This is what i do.
00:20:44.702 --> 00:20:46.036
When we have any kind of issues, i go back to the beatitudes.
00:20:46.036 --> 00:20:48.238
Which of the beatitudes do i need right now in
00:20:48.238 --> 00:20:50.474
This situation?
00:20:50.474 --> 00:20:51.842
Do i need humility?
00:20:51.842 --> 00:20:53.177
Do i need to seek god's comfort?
00:20:53.177 --> 00:20:54.545
Do i need to remember that god is the only one that can help me
00:20:54.545 --> 00:20:57.281
In this situation?
00:20:57.281 --> 00:20:58.615
This child comes with pain and they're probably hurting me and
00:20:58.615 --> 00:21:01.218
I need god to comfort my heart because they're not gonna be
00:21:01.218 --> 00:21:04.355
Able to do it and kicking them back is not gonna help either.
00:21:04.355 --> 00:21:07.391
So, all the beatitudes, i think, frame what can we do in building
00:21:07.391 --> 00:21:12.963
A family that builds trust.
00:21:12.963 --> 00:21:16.200
Kirk: you brought up something i had never even thought about,
00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:18.335
The loss that children feel, almost like there was, not only
00:21:18.335 --> 00:21:23.340
Something broken, but maybe it might feel like a death that
00:21:23.340 --> 00:21:28.145
Needs to be grieved, and maybe the funeral has never actually
00:21:28.145 --> 00:21:32.983
Taken place.
00:21:32.983 --> 00:21:34.318
Ines: there's no funerals for this.
00:21:34.318 --> 00:21:35.686
Kirk: and i read a book once that was called "good grief,"
00:21:35.686 --> 00:21:38.622
And that grief is actually a gift that god gives us to be
00:21:38.622 --> 00:21:42.459
Able to process through the enormous loss that we feel when
00:21:42.459 --> 00:21:46.930
Something valuable like relationships and people is no
00:21:46.930 --> 00:21:49.733
Longer in our life.
00:21:49.733 --> 00:21:51.101
And so for a child to not have that marriage as that rock in
00:21:51.101 --> 00:21:54.538
Their life anymore, boy, there's gotta be so much that they're
00:21:54.538 --> 00:21:57.908
Going through, so patience is required.
00:21:57.908 --> 00:22:00.310
Ines: and you know the beauty of that beatitude, "blessed are
00:22:00.310 --> 00:22:02.913
Those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
00:22:02.913 --> 00:22:05.883
So it's not grieving for the sake of complaining and whining
00:22:05.883 --> 00:22:09.052
And getting stuck there.
00:22:09.052 --> 00:22:11.155
Sometimes we may need a counselor or a pastor to help us
00:22:11.155 --> 00:22:14.324
Out of maybe getting stuck.
00:22:14.324 --> 00:22:16.260
But grieving for the sake of giving our pain to the lord and
00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:19.830
Helping a child name that pain and say, "i want my
00:22:19.830 --> 00:22:23.901
Parents together.
00:22:23.901 --> 00:22:25.235
I'm sad that my parents aren't together or i wanted my family
00:22:25.235 --> 00:22:28.672
To look different.
00:22:28.672 --> 00:22:30.007
I don't like going from this house to that house every other
00:22:30.007 --> 00:22:32.109
Day or every other week.
00:22:32.109 --> 00:22:33.544
This is difficult for me.
00:22:33.544 --> 00:22:35.145
I leave my things there or i leave my things.
00:22:35.145 --> 00:22:37.147
This is a hard--i don't know who to be loyal to."
00:22:37.147 --> 00:22:40.050
There's a lot of loss.
00:22:40.050 --> 00:22:41.385
And we just want to let god comfort that.
00:22:41.385 --> 00:22:43.387
So grieve it so god can comfort it.
00:22:43.387 --> 00:22:45.289
Kirk: yeah, boy.
00:22:45.289 --> 00:22:47.224
So many questions i wanna ask you.
00:22:47.224 --> 00:22:49.760
There's so many things that must be racing through children's
00:22:49.760 --> 00:22:52.296
Minds and spouses's minds, you know, just the temptation to
00:22:52.296 --> 00:22:56.633
Want to compartmentalize previous relationships and say,
00:22:56.633 --> 00:23:02.306
"why are you treating me, you know, according to what happened
00:23:02.306 --> 00:23:05.609
To you in that last family?
00:23:05.609 --> 00:23:07.244
That's not me.
00:23:07.244 --> 00:23:08.645
That's not what i did, you know, leave that there."
00:23:08.645 --> 00:23:10.547
Or children thinking, "why are you trying to replace my mom,"
00:23:10.547 --> 00:23:13.784
You know, and yet they want their parent to be happy and
00:23:13.784 --> 00:23:18.822
They want this marriage to be good and they want their own to
00:23:18.822 --> 00:23:20.924
Be good.
00:23:20.924 --> 00:23:22.259
Sometimes--
00:23:22.259 --> 00:23:23.594
Ines: it's a bag of emotions, it's a big bag of emotions all
00:23:23.594 --> 00:23:26.230
At once, and sometimes we don't acknowledge them.
00:23:26.230 --> 00:23:29.132
You don't talk about them.
00:23:29.132 --> 00:23:30.467
Kirk: yeah, yeah.
00:23:30.467 --> 00:23:31.802
One of the final chapters in your book is all about identity,
00:23:31.802 --> 00:23:35.772
Enduring, shining legacies.
00:23:35.772 --> 00:23:39.109
What can we learn from the beatitudes about legacy
00:23:39.109 --> 00:23:42.446
And identity?
00:23:42.446 --> 00:23:43.914
Ines: so nine beatitudes and then you have this bridge
00:23:43.914 --> 00:23:47.317
Between the beatitudes and the rest of the sermon on the mount.
00:23:47.317 --> 00:23:50.487
And that is you are the light of the world, you are the salt.
00:23:50.487 --> 00:23:53.757
Those two passages there, jesus is saying, "this is who you are.
00:23:53.757 --> 00:23:59.496
When you are trusting in me, i'm making you new and now this is
00:23:59.496 --> 00:24:02.666
Who you are."
00:24:02.666 --> 00:24:04.034
You bring preservation and transformation.
00:24:04.034 --> 00:24:06.570
You bring flavor to wherever you go.
00:24:06.570 --> 00:24:09.673
So i want blended families to understand when they put jesus
00:24:09.673 --> 00:24:13.710
At the center, and this is what--'cause i've seen it happen
00:24:13.710 --> 00:24:15.846
In my life, so i just wanna like yell that out to the world.
00:24:15.846 --> 00:24:18.882
When jesus is at the center, we have much to talk about, we have
00:24:18.882 --> 00:24:22.753
Much to share with the world because we can bring in to a
00:24:22.753 --> 00:24:28.458
Situation in other families to say, "look what god can do."
00:24:28.458 --> 00:24:31.361
That's being the light, shining the light to jesus or bringing
00:24:31.361 --> 00:24:35.566
Flavor, being able to invite people into our family.
00:24:35.566 --> 00:24:39.303
You know, you adopted children, so you know what it's like to
00:24:39.303 --> 00:24:41.605
Bring someone new into your family.
00:24:41.605 --> 00:24:43.373
Well, a blended family does that on day one.
00:24:43.373 --> 00:24:45.442
And so, we learned what it's like to be a welcoming table, we
00:24:45.442 --> 00:24:49.379
Can share that with others, that brings flavor.
00:24:49.379 --> 00:24:51.114
Our family christmas parties are very complicated with all sorts
00:24:51.114 --> 00:24:54.785
Of people in there and when people come to visit, they
00:24:54.785 --> 00:24:57.254
Think, "wow, this is so beautiful flavor."
00:24:57.254 --> 00:24:59.923
And i think we can bring that.
00:24:59.923 --> 00:25:01.692
Kirk: that's right.
00:25:01.692 --> 00:25:03.126
I just made a wonderful dish for dinner the other night.
00:25:03.126 --> 00:25:06.263
My wife is the star cook of the home, but when i get in there, i
00:25:06.263 --> 00:25:09.967
Get out all the spices and i want all the flavors to blend
00:25:09.967 --> 00:25:12.603
Together, you know, into something really wonderful, and
00:25:12.603 --> 00:25:14.972
That's what you're talking about and what a blended family
00:25:14.972 --> 00:25:17.374
Can be.
00:25:17.374 --> 00:25:18.742
Something that is just so attractive to people when they
00:25:18.742 --> 00:25:22.346
See things coming together, and what makes it work?
00:25:22.346 --> 00:25:24.815
Well, it's jesus at the center.
00:25:24.815 --> 00:25:28.552
Ines: yes, just like the church.
00:25:28.552 --> 00:25:30.954
Kirk: when someone closes the last page of "blended and
00:25:30.954 --> 00:25:33.924
Blessed," what do you hope that they'll take away from it?
00:25:33.924 --> 00:25:36.493
Ines: that god does not waste anything.
00:25:36.493 --> 00:25:40.731
That no matter what situation they're in, god is at work if
00:25:40.731 --> 00:25:44.267
They trust him that god is working, and they can look for
00:25:44.267 --> 00:25:47.137
Him to be looking for how is god redeeming my family?
00:25:47.137 --> 00:25:51.174
What are the good things that are happening that i was just
00:25:51.174 --> 00:25:53.010
Ignoring because i was so busy complaining and being so upset
00:25:53.010 --> 00:25:56.246
About the things i wished for.
00:25:56.246 --> 00:25:57.914
Like all of a sudden you can celebrate all sorts of things
00:25:57.914 --> 00:26:00.017
That you were just not even paying attention to.
00:26:00.017 --> 00:26:02.352
And you know, it's not a book to read once.
00:26:02.352 --> 00:26:04.655
The beatitudes are something we go back to over and over again.
00:26:04.655 --> 00:26:07.591
Like i said, when i'm in trouble, i go to one of those
00:26:07.591 --> 00:26:10.527
Beatitudes again and be reminded that, "hey, jesus can be placed
00:26:10.527 --> 00:26:14.231
In the middle of this.
00:26:14.231 --> 00:26:15.599
There's no loss."
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:17.200
Kirk: i love it.
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:18.535
Thank you so much.
00:26:18.535 --> 00:26:19.903
Ines: thank you for having me.
00:26:19.903 --> 00:26:21.238
It's such a pleasure.
00:26:21.238 --> 00:26:22.606
Kirk: after the break, popular speaker and bestselling author,
00:26:22.606 --> 00:26:24.041
Rhonda stoppe, will share with us all the great and not so
00:26:24.041 --> 00:26:28.378
Great mothers from ancient history and what we can learn
00:26:28.378 --> 00:26:31.314
From them, so don't go away.
00:26:31.314 --> 00:26:32.983
[music]
00:26:33.750 --> 00:26:37.888
[music]
00:26:39.869 --> 00:26:43.573
Kirk: rhonda stoppe is a bestselling author, a popular
00:26:46.108 --> 00:26:49.111
Speaker, and award-winning podcast host with 40 years of
00:26:49.111 --> 00:26:52.548
Experience in helping women, rhonda has become a highly
00:26:52.548 --> 00:26:55.418
Sought after voice at women's events and retreats.
00:26:55.418 --> 00:26:58.187
She's also the author of seven popular books, including this
00:26:58.187 --> 00:27:01.824
One, "moms of the bible: life changing lessons from the
00:27:01.824 --> 00:27:05.661
Fearless, the flawed, and the faithful."
00:27:05.661 --> 00:27:08.297
Rhonda, thanks so much for coming on "takeaways."
00:27:08.297 --> 00:27:10.132
Rhonda: thank you.
00:27:10.132 --> 00:27:11.500
I'm super excited to be here.
00:27:11.500 --> 00:27:12.935
Kirk: i know that there are so many moms who need hope and they
00:27:12.935 --> 00:27:18.040
Need encouragement, they feel overlooked, they feel
00:27:18.040 --> 00:27:21.043
Unappreciated, they're wounded from life, and they just need a
00:27:21.043 --> 00:27:28.250
Book like this.
00:27:28.250 --> 00:27:30.119
What inspired you to write this book on motherhood through the
00:27:30.119 --> 00:27:34.523
Lens of these women in the bible?
00:27:34.523 --> 00:27:36.325
Rhonda: 'cause i was that mom you just described.
00:27:36.325 --> 00:27:38.527
I was overwhelmed, i was hormonal, sleepless nights.
00:27:38.527 --> 00:27:42.231
Kirk: don't know anything about that personally, but i
00:27:42.231 --> 00:27:44.567
Believe you.
00:27:44.567 --> 00:27:45.901
Rhonda: trust me, it was, you know, you're not sleeping well.
00:27:45.901 --> 00:27:47.403
The kids are keeping you up.
00:27:47.403 --> 00:27:48.738
You're not appreciated.
00:27:48.738 --> 00:27:50.439
I became a stay at home mom.
00:27:50.439 --> 00:27:51.807
We lived in the san francisco bay area, and i decided to stay
00:27:51.807 --> 00:27:54.677
At home with my children when i had my first child, so it's like
00:27:54.677 --> 00:27:57.246
I wasn't getting a raise or a review and i was frumpy and i
00:27:57.246 --> 00:28:01.384
Was all the things.
00:28:01.384 --> 00:28:03.252
And i knew i wasn't the mom i had hoped i would be.
00:28:03.252 --> 00:28:06.155
And i would go to bed at night, oh, i'm teary, and i would say,
00:28:06.155 --> 00:28:09.959
"i will be a better mom tomorrow."
00:28:09.959 --> 00:28:13.062
And i know i'm not the only mom that thinks that.
00:28:13.062 --> 00:28:15.431
I'm gonna have fun with my kids.
00:28:15.431 --> 00:28:16.832
I'm gonna laugh with them.
00:28:16.832 --> 00:28:18.200
I'm gonna enjoy them, but there's just so much work
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:21.437
Involved in motherhood.
00:28:21.437 --> 00:28:24.273
And when i knew i wasn't the mom i hoped i would be, my mom, my
00:28:24.273 --> 00:28:27.376
Mother-in-law was amazing, but she had alzheimer's, so i
00:28:27.376 --> 00:28:29.512
Couldn't look to her for help.
00:28:29.512 --> 00:28:31.847
My mother was a teen mom.
00:28:31.847 --> 00:28:33.282
She was doing the best she could, but wasn't raised in a
00:28:33.282 --> 00:28:36.786
Functional family.
00:28:36.786 --> 00:28:38.587
So i knew that the bible says titus 2 calls the older women to
00:28:38.587 --> 00:28:42.058
Teach the younger how to love their husbands, which means to
00:28:42.058 --> 00:28:44.093
Be a friend to their husband and how to love their children, and
00:28:44.093 --> 00:28:47.930
I knew i wasn't loving my children the way i wanted to.
00:28:47.930 --> 00:28:50.599
So my husband was in youth ministry.
00:28:50.599 --> 00:28:52.968
And i looked around at the moms of some of our teens, the kids
00:28:52.968 --> 00:28:57.139
Who still wanted to bring their friends home to their house and
00:28:57.139 --> 00:28:59.942
Spend time with them, and i'm like, "i want to know what those
00:28:59.942 --> 00:29:02.545
Women know," because hashtag "old ladies know stuff," that is
00:29:02.545 --> 00:29:05.748
The name of my podcast, and i knew those old ladies were
00:29:05.748 --> 00:29:09.185
Someone i needed to learn from.
00:29:09.185 --> 00:29:11.787
So i reached out to them and my dear friend gayle, she invited
00:29:11.787 --> 00:29:16.392
Me to a bible study.
00:29:16.392 --> 00:29:17.727
I'm like, "gayle, i don't need another bible study.
00:29:17.727 --> 00:29:19.628
I just need to be a better mom."
00:29:19.628 --> 00:29:21.597
And she said, "just trust me."
00:29:21.597 --> 00:29:23.799
So i went to a bible study with her.
00:29:23.799 --> 00:29:26.202
It was a precept study, five hours of homework a week.
00:29:26.202 --> 00:29:28.404
I'm like, "i cannot do this study.
00:29:28.404 --> 00:29:30.673
I don't have time."
00:29:30.673 --> 00:29:32.007
And she said, "i promise it will transform you," because the word
00:29:32.007 --> 00:29:34.543
Of god does transform us.
00:29:34.543 --> 00:29:36.545
I knew all the pat answers.
00:29:36.545 --> 00:29:38.247
I had gone to christian schools.
00:29:38.247 --> 00:29:39.615
I could fill in the blanks like anybody.
00:29:39.615 --> 00:29:42.852
But what i found in this bible study, which i was the only
00:29:42.852 --> 00:29:46.555
Young mom that was in there were women that were real and genuine
00:29:46.555 --> 00:29:51.460
And they talked about their flaws, their failures, they
00:29:51.460 --> 00:29:55.264
Talked about their successes, they talked about what they were
00:29:55.264 --> 00:29:57.800
Learning in the bible study we were studying at that time,
00:29:57.800 --> 00:29:59.969
Which it was the book of philippians which i now have the
00:29:59.969 --> 00:30:02.772
Whole book of philippians memorized because it was just so
00:30:02.772 --> 00:30:05.274
Transformative in my life.
00:30:05.274 --> 00:30:07.810
And i learned from these women what i needed to become a better
00:30:07.810 --> 00:30:12.081
Mom tomorrow.
00:30:12.081 --> 00:30:13.449
So that's why i wrote this book.
00:30:13.449 --> 00:30:14.784
They directed me to women in scripture, moms in scripture who
00:30:14.784 --> 00:30:18.087
Were real in history for their time.
00:30:18.087 --> 00:30:21.023
Kirk: i think that's what everybody needs, whether it's
00:30:21.023 --> 00:30:24.360
Guys who need mentor men who are real and authentic and guys
00:30:24.360 --> 00:30:29.732
Whose children still want to do things with them.
00:30:29.732 --> 00:30:32.768
I'm so blessed to have a wife who is the one that my kids, my
00:30:32.768 --> 00:30:38.474
Daughter's friends want to spend time with.
00:30:38.474 --> 00:30:40.943
"can we come talk to your mom again?
00:30:40.943 --> 00:30:42.311
Can we spend some time with her?"
00:30:42.311 --> 00:30:44.213
'cause she has that kind of wisdom.
00:30:44.213 --> 00:30:46.248
Well, i love that you start out your book with not that
00:30:46.248 --> 00:30:50.519
Necessarily that kind of a mom, you start out with rahab.
00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:53.923
But she is redeemed rahab, a prostitute who becomes part of
00:30:53.923 --> 00:30:58.828
Jesus's lineage.
00:30:58.828 --> 00:31:00.262
So why start with this shady lady and what kind of hope does
00:31:00.262 --> 00:31:04.466
That give to women who feel very guilty about their past?
00:31:04.466 --> 00:31:08.270
Rhonda: exactly, because i think women think god can't use me
00:31:08.270 --> 00:31:11.807
Because i wasn't raised in the church, because i didn't do all
00:31:11.807 --> 00:31:15.010
The things or i did all the things i'm so ashamed of, they
00:31:15.010 --> 00:31:18.314
Have regrets.
00:31:18.314 --> 00:31:19.949
My website is no regrets woman because i help women build no
00:31:19.949 --> 00:31:22.451
Regrets lives and i help them break free from regrets that
00:31:22.451 --> 00:31:24.753
Hold them back.
00:31:24.753 --> 00:31:26.088
So i wanted to start with a woman who could have lived the
00:31:26.088 --> 00:31:28.090
Rest of her life with regret.
00:31:28.090 --> 00:31:29.859
Interestingly, all through scripture, rahab is always named
00:31:29.859 --> 00:31:34.763
Rahab the harlot.
00:31:34.763 --> 00:31:36.732
Even after she's redeemed, god doesn't drop that from her
00:31:36.732 --> 00:31:40.002
Title, right?
00:31:40.002 --> 00:31:42.238
But i think it's to give us hope.
00:31:42.238 --> 00:31:44.173
I think it's to show us she's named in the heroes of the faith
00:31:44.173 --> 00:31:48.911
In hebrews 11.
00:31:48.911 --> 00:31:50.746
So here's this woman, she's just doing her thing, making
00:31:50.746 --> 00:31:53.382
Good money.
00:31:53.382 --> 00:31:54.750
I mean, she owns a house on the wall of jericho, so she's
00:31:54.750 --> 00:31:56.585
Pretty successful.
00:31:56.585 --> 00:31:57.953
And the story starts out where these spies show up, you know, i
00:31:57.953 --> 00:32:01.991
Would say coincidentally, but it was providentially at her house.
00:32:01.991 --> 00:32:07.496
If you listen to what rahab tells those spies, she says,
00:32:07.496 --> 00:32:11.767
"we've heard, we've already heard about yahweh, we've heard
00:32:11.767 --> 00:32:15.871
About your god."
00:32:15.871 --> 00:32:17.206
And what i love about that story is god was already tendering
00:32:17.206 --> 00:32:20.776
Rahab's heart, wooing her to himself.
00:32:20.776 --> 00:32:24.980
And whenever you look at the historical document of how god
00:32:24.980 --> 00:32:29.351
Brought israel out of egypt, over and over again it says that
00:32:29.351 --> 00:32:34.323
The world may know that there is a god in israel.
00:32:34.323 --> 00:32:38.027
God always is proclaiming his presence even to the gentile
00:32:38.027 --> 00:32:42.364
Nations, she knew.
00:32:42.364 --> 00:32:45.000
So these men show up, she hides them, but she also proclaims, "i
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.605
Want what you have."
00:32:49.605 --> 00:32:51.206
What i love about that story and i also tell the story of another
00:32:51.206 --> 00:32:53.642
Shady lady is the woman at the well in that chapter.
00:32:53.642 --> 00:32:58.447
There's a section in scripture where it says, "jesus needed to
00:32:58.447 --> 00:33:02.017
Go through samaria."
00:33:02.017 --> 00:33:04.119
It was an intentional going through an area where the jews
00:33:04.119 --> 00:33:07.523
Never walked through, they went around, to meet with a woman who
00:33:07.523 --> 00:33:11.093
Was so ashamed.
00:33:11.093 --> 00:33:13.262
She came to get her water in the heat of the day in the middle
00:33:13.262 --> 00:33:16.999
East rather than go when all the other proper women went to get
00:33:16.999 --> 00:33:21.070
Water in the morning or the evening when it was more
00:33:21.070 --> 00:33:22.805
Comfortable where they would fellowship with each other, she
00:33:22.805 --> 00:33:25.441
Was too ashamed.
00:33:25.441 --> 00:33:26.775
I would rather bake in the sun than bake under your gossip.
00:33:26.775 --> 00:33:31.714
And that's who jesus said, "i need to go find her."
00:33:31.714 --> 00:33:36.618
He came to find me, and that's--the whole chapter is
00:33:36.618 --> 00:33:40.322
About sharing the gospel, about being the person that god sends
00:33:40.322 --> 00:33:44.259
To that woman that you think would never want jesus, and
00:33:44.259 --> 00:33:47.363
That's the whole point of that chapter on rahab.
00:33:47.363 --> 00:33:51.900
Kirk: you also talk about jochebed, and that's a name we
00:33:51.900 --> 00:33:55.671
Don't hear too much anymore.
00:33:55.671 --> 00:33:57.006
It's kind of like the carol.
00:33:57.006 --> 00:33:58.374
Nobody really names their kids carol anymore.
00:33:58.374 --> 00:34:00.676
Rhonda: maybe they do.
00:34:00.676 --> 00:34:02.011
Kirk: maybe they do, they should.
00:34:02.011 --> 00:34:03.379
My aunt is carol.
00:34:03.379 --> 00:34:04.713
I love my aunt carol, but jochebed had to let go of baby
00:34:04.713 --> 00:34:06.515
Moses and trust god with an impossible situation.
00:34:06.515 --> 00:34:09.685
I mean i would think of putting your baby in a river is like a
00:34:09.685 --> 00:34:14.456
Death sentence for the baby, but for her that was a great act
00:34:14.456 --> 00:34:18.427
Of faith.
00:34:18.427 --> 00:34:19.762
So how does her story speak to moms today who are struggling to
00:34:19.762 --> 00:34:23.198
Release control and trust god with the futures on
00:34:23.198 --> 00:34:25.934
Their children?
00:34:25.934 --> 00:34:27.302
Rhonda: yeah, there's a section called, "control freaks raise
00:34:27.302 --> 00:34:30.072
Freaks" because we moms, we think we're helping when we
00:34:30.072 --> 00:34:33.242
Control them so very much.
00:34:33.242 --> 00:34:34.777
Think about jochebed putting that pitch in that basket and
00:34:34.777 --> 00:34:37.746
Miriam is watching, her daughter's observing thinking,
00:34:37.746 --> 00:34:40.883
"what's happening?"
00:34:40.883 --> 00:34:42.217
Kirk: what is mom doing?
00:34:42.217 --> 00:34:43.552
Rhonda: and then as she kisses that baby, i have 15
00:34:43.552 --> 00:34:45.254
Grandchildren and just the smell of his little head--
00:34:45.254 --> 00:34:48.090
Kirk: they're the best.
00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:49.425
Rhonda: and then putting him in the basket and letting go of
00:34:49.425 --> 00:34:51.060
The basket.
00:34:51.060 --> 00:34:52.494
And she had to just trust god with the plan.
00:34:52.494 --> 00:34:55.130
So many of us, some of you are watching that have to let your
00:34:55.130 --> 00:34:58.600
Child go to a biological father for visitation, and you know
00:34:58.600 --> 00:35:02.771
They're exposed to ungodly environments.
00:35:02.771 --> 00:35:04.907
Some of you have your kids in public schools and you know
00:35:04.907 --> 00:35:07.176
They're exposed to ungodly information.
00:35:07.176 --> 00:35:10.913
I mean, think about jochebed was able to nurse that baby for four
00:35:10.913 --> 00:35:14.550
Years, i'm guessing, and then she had to put him in the arms
00:35:14.550 --> 00:35:18.253
Of a woman who worships cats among other things.
00:35:18.253 --> 00:35:22.424
How incredibly painful, but yet she spent those first four years
00:35:22.424 --> 00:35:26.295
Just pouring into moses.
00:35:26.295 --> 00:35:27.863
I can imagine her nursing him and singing to him about jesus,
00:35:27.863 --> 00:35:31.834
Not jesus, it would have been yahweh, but i feel like that's
00:35:31.834 --> 00:35:35.437
Where we have to know whatever time we do have with them
00:35:35.437 --> 00:35:38.774
Creates a foundation that they can know our god too.
00:35:38.774 --> 00:35:43.445
Kirk: you also devote an entire chapter to horrible herodias.
00:35:43.445 --> 00:35:48.117
Remember her?
00:35:48.117 --> 00:35:49.551
She was the wicked mother who had her daughter ask for john
00:35:49.551 --> 00:35:55.023
The baptist head on a platter.
00:35:55.023 --> 00:35:57.993
So what can we learn from such a terrible example of motherhood?
00:35:57.993 --> 00:36:03.432
Rhonda: salome danced before the king and he said, "i'll give you
00:36:03.432 --> 00:36:05.868
Up to half my kingdom," and she runs to her mom and says, "mom,
00:36:05.868 --> 00:36:08.904
What should i ask for?"
00:36:08.904 --> 00:36:10.472
What mom wouldn't say, "oh, ask for a new chariot, ask for a
00:36:10.472 --> 00:36:13.442
Palace, ask for--" she's so evil, she says, "ask for john
00:36:13.442 --> 00:36:16.812
The baptist's head on a platter."
00:36:16.812 --> 00:36:18.313
She was so resentful toward john the baptist.
00:36:18.313 --> 00:36:21.316
Kirk: that's right, 'cause he called her out earlier--
00:36:21.316 --> 00:36:22.918
Rhonda: for her sin.
00:36:22.918 --> 00:36:24.286
Kirk: for her sin.
00:36:24.286 --> 00:36:25.621
Rhonda: some of us have been raised by a herodias, and that
00:36:25.621 --> 00:36:27.356
Whole chapter is about forgiving the mom who was a herodias in
00:36:27.356 --> 00:36:32.294
Your life and the freedom from being attached to--hatred and
00:36:32.294 --> 00:36:37.666
Love both attaches us to a person, but the hatred just
00:36:37.666 --> 00:36:41.370
Destroys us.
00:36:41.370 --> 00:36:42.704
So coming to a place of forgiveness.
00:36:42.704 --> 00:36:44.206
There's a woman i was speaking, i speak at women's events, and
00:36:44.206 --> 00:36:46.575
When you're the speaker, you're the anonymous person they can
00:36:46.575 --> 00:36:49.077
Talk to, and a woman came to me and shared how her mom had made
00:36:49.077 --> 00:36:51.980
Her get an abortion when she was young and it resulted in her
00:36:51.980 --> 00:36:55.217
Being sterile, and she could have no children and she was so
00:36:55.217 --> 00:36:59.154
Angry and her mom had died.
00:36:59.154 --> 00:37:01.023
But her bitterness had just destroyed her.
00:37:01.023 --> 00:37:03.559
And so that whole chapter is visiting the herodias mother in
00:37:03.559 --> 00:37:07.029
Our own lives because if we don't, we're gonna become the
00:37:07.029 --> 00:37:09.831
Very--the bible says, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he."
00:37:09.831 --> 00:37:13.535
We can actually become the very thing that we hate.
00:37:13.535 --> 00:37:17.472
So that's what that chapter talks about.
00:37:17.472 --> 00:37:19.241
Kirk: and you go through so many other moms like naomi and esther
00:37:19.241 --> 00:37:24.379
And we're talking, you're talking about stepmoms and
00:37:24.379 --> 00:37:27.282
Infertility and so many of the things that moms or mom--women
00:37:27.282 --> 00:37:33.322
Who want to be moms are dealing with.
00:37:33.322 --> 00:37:34.990
I wanna get into all of this and more.
00:37:34.990 --> 00:37:37.426
Right after the break, rhonda is gonna share how mothers can
00:37:37.426 --> 00:37:40.362
Influence our culture today in powerful ways, so stay with us.
00:37:40.362 --> 00:37:43.599
[music]
00:37:44.233 --> 00:37:48.637
[music]
00:37:49.422 --> 00:37:53.994
Kirk: welcome back.
00:37:56.997 --> 00:37:58.331
Rhonda stoppe is with us and she's the host of the
00:37:58.331 --> 00:38:00.233
Award-winning podcast, "old ladies know stuff."
00:38:00.233 --> 00:38:03.503
And we're talking about the influence and importance
00:38:03.503 --> 00:38:06.673
Of moms.
00:38:06.673 --> 00:38:09.409
You talk in your book, rhonda, about ways that moms can
00:38:09.409 --> 00:38:13.613
Powerfully influence culture.
00:38:13.613 --> 00:38:16.282
Why is that so important?
00:38:16.282 --> 00:38:19.853
Rhonda: i feel like we're in a place, especially because of
00:38:19.853 --> 00:38:23.390
Social media where moms are just seeing so much and thinking,
00:38:23.390 --> 00:38:27.761
"how can i make a difference?"
00:38:27.761 --> 00:38:30.130
But god's called us to the ministry of motherhood and to
00:38:30.130 --> 00:38:34.634
What he has called us, he will equip us and we influence the
00:38:34.634 --> 00:38:38.571
Culture one child at a time.
00:38:38.571 --> 00:38:41.608
And we genuinely have to live out our faith in a way that
00:38:41.608 --> 00:38:44.744
Makes our children want to follow our savior's.
00:38:44.744 --> 00:38:47.347
My husband was a youth pastor for 18 years, just retired as a
00:38:47.347 --> 00:38:51.317
Senior pastor after 25 years, and i'll tell you, the number
00:38:51.317 --> 00:38:54.888
One thing that drives kids away from our faith is hypocrisy in
00:38:54.888 --> 00:38:58.591
The christian home.
00:38:58.591 --> 00:38:59.959
Kirk: yeah, i believe it.
00:38:59.959 --> 00:39:01.294
Rhonda: pretending at church that everything's okay and the
00:39:01.294 --> 00:39:03.763
Mom and dad are bickering behind closed doors or mom's gossiping
00:39:03.763 --> 00:39:08.201
About everybody at church.
00:39:08.201 --> 00:39:09.569
That'll drive our kids away from christ.
00:39:09.569 --> 00:39:11.638
So the first thing is that we have to live in a way in a
00:39:11.638 --> 00:39:14.874
Manner worthy of our calling which is motherhood and live in
00:39:14.874 --> 00:39:17.844
A light that draws them to wanna know our savior, one child at
00:39:17.844 --> 00:39:21.681
A time.
00:39:21.681 --> 00:39:23.850
Kirk: man, that is so important.
00:39:23.850 --> 00:39:26.086
My wife often speaks of the sacred duty of motherhood, and
00:39:26.086 --> 00:39:31.991
She really does see this as a sacred privilege and an honor
00:39:31.991 --> 00:39:35.095
And it is sacred.
00:39:35.095 --> 00:39:37.097
So often in our culture today i hear of the the demeaning of
00:39:37.097 --> 00:39:42.602
Motherhood, you know.
00:39:42.602 --> 00:39:44.904
You know, i'm not just a mom or, you know, i'm not just the baby
00:39:44.904 --> 00:39:48.308
Maker or i'm just--and it's like, you know, when you go back
00:39:48.308 --> 00:39:50.777
To the very beginning of the bible and you look at the world
00:39:50.777 --> 00:39:53.146
That god's created and it's this great privilege that husband and
00:39:53.146 --> 00:39:56.950
Wife, mother and father have of being fruitful, multiplying,
00:39:56.950 --> 00:40:00.920
Filling the earth, and my wife creates the morale in our home
00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:04.958
And when i'm traveling and working and she's the wisdom and
00:40:04.958 --> 00:40:08.394
The rock and so much of the relational glue for our entire
00:40:08.394 --> 00:40:12.932
Family, and i just think, "where would the world be without moms
00:40:12.932 --> 00:40:16.536
In a horribly broken state?"
00:40:16.536 --> 00:40:19.139
So i'm glad that you're just emphasizing the importance
00:40:19.139 --> 00:40:22.976
Of motherhood.
00:40:22.976 --> 00:40:24.310
There is no replacement.
00:40:24.310 --> 00:40:25.678
Rhonda: there's not.
00:40:25.678 --> 00:40:27.013
And i'll tell you a story that just really impacted me.
00:40:27.013 --> 00:40:29.249
Steve and i went on a cruise that's we like to unplug and go
00:40:29.249 --> 00:40:31.518
Away, so we were on a cruise maybe to alaska, which is
00:40:31.518 --> 00:40:33.920
Our favorite.
00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:35.588
And when we pulled into port, our family group text lit up.
00:40:35.588 --> 00:40:39.926
And we start reading the texts and it's all of our adult
00:40:39.926 --> 00:40:43.163
Children and our youngest daughter kayla had been pregnant
00:40:43.163 --> 00:40:46.366
And she had a miscarriage and it was--and there's a lot of
00:40:46.366 --> 00:40:50.236
Infertility in our family.
00:40:50.236 --> 00:40:51.604
I have 15 grandchildren but i have eight grandbabies in heaven
00:40:51.604 --> 00:40:54.207
So i understand that heart of loss.
00:40:54.207 --> 00:40:58.378
And in this group text it was that kayla had to be rushed to
00:40:58.378 --> 00:41:01.014
The hospital and she was hemorrhaging and our kids were
00:41:01.014 --> 00:41:04.317
Living all in different places so they were sending texts of
00:41:04.317 --> 00:41:06.920
Prayer, of encouragement, "you want me to come?
00:41:06.920 --> 00:41:09.689
I'll come right now."
00:41:09.689 --> 00:41:11.024
And my first thought was, "when are we ever out of reach of our
00:41:11.024 --> 00:41:14.561
Kids that we were gone when this happened?"
00:41:14.561 --> 00:41:17.764
But then our second thought was, "this is how they're gonna take
00:41:17.764 --> 00:41:21.734
Care of each other when we're not here anymore."
00:41:21.734 --> 00:41:24.270
We've taught them to teach each other to gaze at christ when
00:41:24.270 --> 00:41:29.209
Life throws us something we never expected and that's what i
00:41:29.209 --> 00:41:32.445
Was talking about previously.
00:41:32.445 --> 00:41:33.780
It's one child at a time and now i'm watching them guide my
00:41:33.780 --> 00:41:37.750
Grandchildren to do the same.
00:41:37.750 --> 00:41:39.352
Kirk: oh, that's so beautiful.
00:41:39.352 --> 00:41:40.920
Because of motherhood that is happening.
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:44.991
The chapter, mothers and grandmothers unite features
00:41:44.991 --> 00:41:50.496
Eunice and lois.
00:41:50.496 --> 00:41:52.632
You have 15 grandchildren.
00:41:52.632 --> 00:41:55.435
Talk about the connection between the generations of moms
00:41:55.435 --> 00:42:00.373
And grandmas.
00:42:00.373 --> 00:42:02.141
Rhonda: there can be such an impact if there is a
00:42:02.141 --> 00:42:05.545
Multi-generational influence on our grandkids, on our children.
00:42:05.545 --> 00:42:10.316
I didn't have grandparents that influenced me.
00:42:10.316 --> 00:42:12.785
My husband didn't have grandparents that influenced him
00:42:12.785 --> 00:42:15.822
And we determined we were gonna be those grandparents.
00:42:15.822 --> 00:42:18.625
And the way i'm speaking next, we're leaving from here to go
00:42:18.625 --> 00:42:23.463
Speak at a grandparenting conference and my topic is on
00:42:23.463 --> 00:42:27.700
"raising world changers through stories," through biblical
00:42:27.700 --> 00:42:31.738
Stories, through your own stories, telling your grandkids
00:42:31.738 --> 00:42:34.574
And starting it by saying, "can i tell you a story?"
00:42:34.574 --> 00:42:36.809
When they're going through someone hurt their feelings or
00:42:36.809 --> 00:42:38.878
Someone, you know, they feel unseen or whatever, "can i tell
00:42:38.878 --> 00:42:43.383
You a story about what happened to me when i was your age?
00:42:43.383 --> 00:42:45.118
Or can i tell you a story how god was faithful with me and
00:42:45.118 --> 00:42:47.487
Papa when all these things happened in our life?
00:42:47.487 --> 00:42:50.757
Can i tell you a story?"
00:42:50.757 --> 00:42:52.091
They'll lean into those stories.
00:42:52.091 --> 00:42:53.459
But you're telling in real life stories the providence of god.
00:42:53.459 --> 00:42:58.965
Even this book i handed it to my youngest, one of my
00:42:58.965 --> 00:43:01.401
Granddaughters, eliza, "moms of the bible," and she said, "this
00:43:01.401 --> 00:43:04.037
Is such a pretty book, nana."
00:43:04.037 --> 00:43:05.838
And i said, "you know what eliza?
00:43:05.838 --> 00:43:07.640
Nana's gonna go to heaven one day.
00:43:07.640 --> 00:43:08.975
I'm gonna be dead and gone and i'm so excited that i'm gonna
00:43:08.975 --> 00:43:11.711
Get to teach you how to be a mom through the pages of moms of
00:43:11.711 --> 00:43:14.514
The bible."
00:43:14.514 --> 00:43:15.848
And she said, "you're gonna die?"
00:43:15.848 --> 00:43:17.183
And i said, "one day, i'm gonna go be with jesus."
00:43:17.183 --> 00:43:19.619
But you can learn about these moms in the bible so that you
00:43:19.619 --> 00:43:23.022
Can be a mom that raises your kids to love jesus too.
00:43:23.022 --> 00:43:27.794
Kirk: yeah, that's beautiful.
00:43:27.794 --> 00:43:29.295
Your final chapter is about faithful moms with no names.
00:43:29.295 --> 00:43:32.732
Why is it important to talk about moms that we've never
00:43:32.732 --> 00:43:37.937
Heard of?
00:43:37.937 --> 00:43:39.706
Rhonda: because moms with no names, that's what
00:43:39.706 --> 00:43:42.241
Identifies us.
00:43:42.241 --> 00:43:43.576
Okay, so my son, our oldest son tony didn't come to our family
00:43:43.576 --> 00:43:45.745
Till he was 15 years old.
00:43:45.745 --> 00:43:47.513
And it's a great story, but when he--he was a fighter pilot in
00:43:47.513 --> 00:43:51.250
The air force, he just retired.
00:43:51.250 --> 00:43:54.020
And when he was in the military, steve and i were in hawaii and
00:43:54.020 --> 00:43:57.457
We went on base with him, he was not in uniform.
00:43:57.457 --> 00:44:00.693
As we pulled in on base they looked at his credentials and
00:44:00.693 --> 00:44:03.329
They started saluting him.
00:44:03.329 --> 00:44:04.697
He was a lieutenant colonel.
00:44:04.697 --> 00:44:06.032
And i was sitting in the back seat and i'm like, "nobody
00:44:06.032 --> 00:44:07.633
Saluted his mom."
00:44:07.633 --> 00:44:10.103
And i was--that's the part of that story is that we do our
00:44:10.103 --> 00:44:13.606
Part and then god does the work in them.
00:44:13.606 --> 00:44:16.809
So the story in david's mom, she is not mentioned, her name is
00:44:16.809 --> 00:44:21.047
Not mentioned in scripture, the man after god's own heart, and
00:44:21.047 --> 00:44:23.883
We don't know his mama's name.
00:44:23.883 --> 00:44:25.418
Kirk: who raised this boy?
00:44:25.418 --> 00:44:26.786
Rhonda: yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:44:26.786 --> 00:44:28.121
How about daniel, shadrach, meshach, and abednego?
00:44:28.121 --> 00:44:30.456
Think of those guys.
00:44:30.456 --> 00:44:31.791
They are taken into babylonian captivity when they were
00:44:31.791 --> 00:44:33.993
Teenagers and they refused to eat the king's food.
00:44:33.993 --> 00:44:37.930
When all the other jews around them were like eating bacon and
00:44:37.930 --> 00:44:40.566
All the things that they were told not to eat, they refused.
00:44:40.566 --> 00:44:44.704
Who was their mom?
00:44:44.704 --> 00:44:46.172
When shadrach, meshach, and abednego said, "we will not bow
00:44:46.172 --> 00:44:49.742
And god will rescue us.
00:44:49.742 --> 00:44:51.377
And even if he doesn't, we will not bow."
00:44:51.377 --> 00:44:53.880
Who was their mom?
00:44:53.880 --> 00:44:55.214
There was something implanted in those young men early because
00:44:55.214 --> 00:44:59.652
God took them away from their moms by teenage years, but there
00:44:59.652 --> 00:45:03.756
Was something influencing them that carried them the rest of
00:45:03.756 --> 00:45:07.226
Their lives, moms with no name.
00:45:07.226 --> 00:45:09.762
Kirk: wow, that's great.
00:45:09.762 --> 00:45:11.497
Man, i love that.
00:45:11.497 --> 00:45:13.933
As you were researching for this book and you were cataloging all
00:45:13.933 --> 00:45:17.937
Of these moms of the bible, is there one that stood out to you?
00:45:17.937 --> 00:45:20.039
Is there one who is your favorite personally?
00:45:20.039 --> 00:45:22.708
Rhonda: naomi, and i think it's just 'cause i'm old now too, so
00:45:22.708 --> 00:45:25.445
You're watching naomi's story.
00:45:25.445 --> 00:45:27.480
Naomi had a hard life and i thought that story, that chapter
00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:30.950
Was gonna be about mentoring, you know, naomi mentoring ruth,
00:45:30.950 --> 00:45:33.953
Right, everybody.
00:45:33.953 --> 00:45:35.288
It's about loss.
00:45:35.288 --> 00:45:36.656
It's about grief.
00:45:36.656 --> 00:45:37.990
She goes to a foreign land following her husband, he dies.
00:45:37.990 --> 00:45:40.259
Her sons marry moabite women who put their babies on the altar
00:45:40.259 --> 00:45:44.797
And worship an ungodly idol.
00:45:44.797 --> 00:45:49.001
How heartbroken i would be if my sons married ungodly women.
00:45:49.001 --> 00:45:52.805
Infertility, the sons die.
00:45:52.805 --> 00:45:55.308
And finally naomi's like, "oive, i'm going home.
00:45:55.308 --> 00:45:59.045
I'm going back to my people."
00:45:59.045 --> 00:46:00.880
And as she goes home, orpa turns back, ruth goes with her, and
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:05.218
That is when ruth says, "your god will be my god and your
00:46:05.218 --> 00:46:08.921
People will be my people.
00:46:08.921 --> 00:46:10.756
Where you go i will go.
00:46:10.756 --> 00:46:12.091
Where you die i will die."
00:46:12.091 --> 00:46:13.526
Sometimes your trial is not about you.
00:46:13.526 --> 00:46:15.228
Your trial can validate your testimony of your faith in
00:46:15.228 --> 00:46:18.564
Your god.
00:46:18.564 --> 00:46:19.966
Naomi i mean, ruth watched naomi go through all of that loss.
00:46:19.966 --> 00:46:24.270
And then ruth watched naomi go back to yahweh and she's like,
00:46:24.270 --> 00:46:27.673
"i want what you have."
00:46:27.673 --> 00:46:30.109
I love naomi's story.
00:46:30.109 --> 00:46:31.477
Kirk: oh wow, what a great story.
00:46:31.477 --> 00:46:33.112
What a great insight to that story, particularly for moms.
00:46:33.112 --> 00:46:38.284
What would you say to moms who feel stuck in that cycle of
00:46:38.284 --> 00:46:43.589
Wanting to be a better mom and just never being able to
00:46:43.589 --> 00:46:46.425
Get there?
00:46:46.425 --> 00:46:47.793
Rhonda: you're not alone.
00:46:47.793 --> 00:46:49.562
It's just two steps forward, one step back, but being genuine
00:46:49.562 --> 00:46:52.598
With our kids, when you lose your temper, i remember after i
00:46:52.598 --> 00:46:55.034
Had my third child, i had postpartum, didn't know what it
00:46:55.034 --> 00:46:57.770
Was, and my 6-year-old daughter was saying something to me and i
00:46:57.770 --> 00:47:00.740
Looked at her and i said, "shut up, just shut up," and i yelled,
00:47:00.740 --> 00:47:03.809
Like not yelled but very harshly said it.
00:47:03.809 --> 00:47:06.279
And she looked at me and we don't say that word, that's a
00:47:06.279 --> 00:47:08.281
Swear word in our house, and i broke and i wept and i said,
00:47:08.281 --> 00:47:12.051
"please forgive me.
00:47:12.051 --> 00:47:13.386
I shouldn't have said that."
00:47:13.386 --> 00:47:15.154
There are times we're gonna lose it.
00:47:15.154 --> 00:47:16.822
There are times that the best thing we can do the normal
00:47:16.822 --> 00:47:19.825
Christian life is to go back and repent, tell your children, "you
00:47:19.825 --> 00:47:23.396
Heard me gossip on the phone, that was a sin against the lord.
00:47:23.396 --> 00:47:26.732
I'm gonna ask god to forgive me.
00:47:26.732 --> 00:47:28.568
I'm gonna ask my friend to forgive me.
00:47:28.568 --> 00:47:30.202
Will you forgive me?"
00:47:30.202 --> 00:47:32.004
That shows them how to live the normal christian life.
00:47:32.004 --> 00:47:35.841
And then lock arms with other christian moms that wanna walk
00:47:35.841 --> 00:47:40.046
In a manner worthy of their calling in this ministry
00:47:40.046 --> 00:47:42.381
Of motherhood.
00:47:42.381 --> 00:47:44.150
Kirk: this is so good.
00:47:44.150 --> 00:47:45.885
I mean, just the things that you're saying there, they just
00:47:45.885 --> 00:47:48.287
Speak of spiritual maturity and wisdom and it's all rooted in
00:47:48.287 --> 00:47:52.625
Real life and stories so we can remember these principles, so
00:47:52.625 --> 00:47:58.030
Thank you.
00:47:58.030 --> 00:47:59.398
If there's one thing that you want moms to take away from this
00:47:59.398 --> 00:48:01.767
Book, what is it?
00:48:01.767 --> 00:48:03.102
Rhonda: i wanna read you the last part of the book 'cause it
00:48:03.102 --> 00:48:04.837
Just will cheer you on.
00:48:04.837 --> 00:48:07.039
"a final exhortation.
00:48:07.039 --> 00:48:09.208
From the beginning, god established mothers as the first
00:48:09.208 --> 00:48:12.111
Teachers of biblical truth to their children.
00:48:12.111 --> 00:48:14.914
Moms are the makers of a future generation of godly men
00:48:14.914 --> 00:48:18.084
And women.
00:48:18.084 --> 00:48:19.452
This is your time in history, mom.
00:48:19.452 --> 00:48:22.221
God is calling you to set aside whatever distracts you from this
00:48:22.221 --> 00:48:26.258
Blessed ministry of motherhood.
00:48:26.258 --> 00:48:28.494
Link arms with other like-minded women who will run this race
00:48:28.494 --> 00:48:33.232
Alongside of you, cheering you on in your success and picking
00:48:33.232 --> 00:48:36.969
You up when you falter.
00:48:36.969 --> 00:48:39.171
Kirk: rhonda, thank you so much for writing this book and for
00:48:39.171 --> 00:48:41.574
Joining us today.
00:48:41.574 --> 00:48:43.643
After the break, we'll review today's "takeaways."
00:48:43.643 --> 00:48:46.345
[music]
00:48:47.179 --> 00:48:51.484
[music]
00:48:52.698 --> 00:48:57.402
Kirk: what does it look like to build a home where faith holds
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:03.909
Steady through the everyday reality of motherhood and
00:49:03.909 --> 00:49:07.446
Blended family structures?
00:49:07.446 --> 00:49:09.548
Well, today's conversation with ines franklin and rhonda stoppe,
00:49:09.548 --> 00:49:13.418
We talked about what it means to anchor your family in god's word
00:49:13.418 --> 00:49:17.256
And how that same faithfulness shapes generations through
00:49:17.256 --> 00:49:21.527
Motherhood and mentorship.
00:49:21.527 --> 00:49:24.029
Let's review today's "takeaways."
00:49:24.029 --> 00:49:26.632
Build your family on the beatitudes.
00:49:26.632 --> 00:49:29.468
In my conversation with ines franklin, she shared how jesus's
00:49:29.468 --> 00:49:33.438
Beatitudes provide a powerful framework for blended families,
00:49:33.438 --> 00:49:38.010
And for all families.
00:49:38.010 --> 00:49:39.578
I really liked her example of blessed are the peacemakers.
00:49:39.578 --> 00:49:43.348
Her illustration when conflict showed up with her stepdaughter,
00:49:43.348 --> 00:49:47.019
Her goal was not to win the argument or get her daughter to
00:49:47.019 --> 00:49:50.756
Agree with her, it was to prioritize the relationship.
00:49:50.756 --> 00:49:55.460
This led to a table talk about the issue and more importantly,
00:49:55.460 --> 00:50:00.098
Prioritizing the love and unity between her and her daughter.
00:50:00.098 --> 00:50:05.637
How often do you and i need to look past the conflict at hand
00:50:05.637 --> 00:50:09.841
And see the person we're talking with?
00:50:09.841 --> 00:50:13.011
Ines illustrated what it looks like to be a true peacemaker.
00:50:13.011 --> 00:50:18.083
Live in the expectation of god's goodness.
00:50:18.083 --> 00:50:21.587
An important part of our discussion today was remembering
00:50:21.587 --> 00:50:24.556
That not all parts of being in a blended family will immediately
00:50:24.556 --> 00:50:28.560
Fall into place with ease.
00:50:28.560 --> 00:50:31.096
In fact, sometimes we have to live in the expectation of god's
00:50:31.096 --> 00:50:35.567
Perfect care and timing while we wait.
00:50:35.567 --> 00:50:39.838
As easy as it is to throw in the towel or just concede the idea
00:50:39.838 --> 00:50:44.576
That things are never gonna get better with your family,
00:50:44.576 --> 00:50:47.312
Scripture does not leave room for us to tap out and give up.
00:50:47.312 --> 00:50:53.452
So, is there an area in your family life where you have
00:50:53.452 --> 00:50:58.323
Already started to lose hope?
00:50:58.323 --> 00:51:00.559
And what would it look like to begin living in the expectation
00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:04.262
Of god's faithful care again?
00:51:04.262 --> 00:51:08.300
Multi-generational mentorship.
00:51:08.300 --> 00:51:10.636
Something that really stood out in my conversation with rhonda
00:51:10.636 --> 00:51:13.705
Was the ongoing need for generations of mums to lock arms
00:51:13.705 --> 00:51:18.777
In mentorship.
00:51:18.777 --> 00:51:20.479
Mothers and grandmothers united.
00:51:20.479 --> 00:51:24.016
This is a decision to become the kind of woman, and someday the
00:51:24.016 --> 00:51:27.753
Kind of grandparent, who will raise world changers together.
00:51:27.753 --> 00:51:33.125
She said moms and grandmoms can do this through sharing biblical
00:51:33.125 --> 00:51:37.963
Stories and telling their own stories, real life accounts of
00:51:37.963 --> 00:51:42.801
The providence of god.
00:51:42.801 --> 00:51:44.970
What this legacy of mentorship really builds is a way of
00:51:44.970 --> 00:51:48.840
Teaching children to fix their eyes on christ when life brings
00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:54.246
The unexpected.
00:51:54.246 --> 00:51:56.415
Influence one child at a time.
00:51:56.415 --> 00:51:59.484
Have you ever wondered what it will take for your children to
00:51:59.484 --> 00:52:02.988
Stay faithful and obedient to god for the long haul?
00:52:02.988 --> 00:52:06.692
Well, rhonda said, "hypocrisy in your home is the number one
00:52:06.692 --> 00:52:10.762
Thing that could drive your children away from the faith."
00:52:10.762 --> 00:52:14.132
And then she gave us instruction.
00:52:14.132 --> 00:52:16.935
She says, "live out your faith in a way that makes your
00:52:16.935 --> 00:52:19.638
Children want to follow jesus."
00:52:19.638 --> 00:52:23.275
Make it attractive.
00:52:23.275 --> 00:52:24.609
When you live in the light of who god truly is and who he has
00:52:24.609 --> 00:52:28.380
Called you to be as a mother, you will actually draw your
00:52:28.380 --> 00:52:32.250
Children to the savior.
00:52:32.250 --> 00:52:34.586
And this is how we influence a generation, by example, one
00:52:34.586 --> 00:52:39.357
Child at a time, one home at a time.
00:52:39.357 --> 00:52:43.995
That's all for this episode of "takeaways."
00:52:43.995 --> 00:52:45.997
Thanks for watching.
00:52:45.997 --> 00:52:47.332
And if you've enjoyed this show, don't forget to set your dvr so
00:52:47.332 --> 00:52:50.368
You never miss an episode.
00:52:50.368 --> 00:52:51.737
And of course, you can always catch up on past episodes by
00:52:51.737 --> 00:52:55.140
Searching for "takeaways" on tbn+ or just visit the kirk
00:52:55.140 --> 00:52:59.845
Cameron on tbn youtube channel.
00:52:59.845 --> 00:53:02.314
We'll see you here next time for more great conversations.
00:53:02.314 --> 00:53:05.717
[music]
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[music]
00:53:12.090 --> 00:53:12.090

Ines Franklin & Rhonda Stoppe: Cultivating Family Unity with Love and Grace | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron

May 4, 2026 | 53:27

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