Kathy Koch, Jeff Myers, & Laura Perry Smalts: Understanding Gender Identity Issues | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron

November 17, 2025 | 54:10

Join Kirk Cameron to discuss pressing issues Christians are facing with compassionate, well-informed guests, and together, find actionable takeaways that we can use today, this week, and this month to bring more of Heaven to Earth.

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Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | Kathy Koch, Jeff Myers, & Laura Perry Smalts: Understanding Gender Identity Issues | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | November 17, 2025
  • >> we're living in a culture today where our young people
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  • Are growing up confused about who they are and who god
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  • Created them to be. how can we better instill positive
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  • Self-esteem and establish biblical truth in the lives of
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  • Our children? well, to give us some insight, we're going to
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  • Talk with doctor kathy cook and doctor jeff myers about raising
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  • Gender confident kids.
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  • >> genesis chapter one god said, i'm going to make human beings
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  • In our image, and they will be male and female.
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  • >> and laura perry smoltz will share her personal testimony on
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  • Struggling with gender identity.
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  • >> and as that happened, the lord just began to transform me.
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  • And the lord began to change my heart. and i began to like
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  • Being a girl. and then i began to really love who he created
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  • For the first time in my life.
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  • >> let's get to it right now on takeaways. it's so good to have
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  • Back my two friends and guests, doctor kathy cook and doctor
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  • Jeff myers. doctor cook is the founder and president of
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  • Celebrate kids based in fort worth, texas. she offers
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  • Practical insights for parents like me and my wife, and to
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  • Educators so that we can guide children to develop biblical
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  • Character and healthy relationships. and doctor myers
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  • Is president of summit ministries. he's become one of
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  • America's most respected authorities on youth leadership
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  • Development. and they've written a book together called
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  • Raising gender confident kids. jeff and kathy, thank you so
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  • Much for being here on take aways.
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  • >> kirk, it's fun to be with you in person.
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  • >> yeah, happy to be here.
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  • >> it's so good to have you together because both of you
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  • Are heroes to me and to my my wife and to our children have
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  • Experienced the power of your ministries. but to have you
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  • Together talking about a topic that is so explosive and
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  • Overwhelming for this generation is treasure.
  • 00:01:55.061 --> 00:01:59.099
  • >> yeah, we're we're excited to be working together. we love
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  • How that happened. it's been good.
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  • >> it is a fun story. we both had thought we should we need
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  • To address this issue. and then we ended up in a conversation
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  • Together. and were you going to address it? because if you are,
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  • I don't need to write a book. and we thought, well, let's
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  • Write it together. and, and kathy's experience working with
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  • Parents in mind, working with young adults in theology and
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  • Helping them understand and develop a biblical worldview
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  • And a commitment to god's truth really dovetailed well together.
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  • And i think especially it's so such a practical tool to
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  • Hundred conversation starters for parents when they have to
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  • Deal with the transgender issue in their family. if it's not
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  • Their kids, it is their kids friends. if it's not their
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  • Friends, if it's a friend of a friend or a relative. everybody
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  • Has got to learn how to deal with this biblically.
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  • >> what prompted you to write a book about raising gender
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  • Confident kids?
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  • >> well, i started with just recognizing the students we
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  • Worked with at summit ministries were facing this.
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  • Did you know that young adults today are 1,600% more likely to
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  • Identify as transgender than people our age? 1,600% more
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  • Likely? and it is an extraordinary thing that
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  • Parents have to deal with. i was visiting with a grandparent,
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  • She said. i've got 13 grandkids. five of them identify as
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  • Transgender.
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  • >> it five of.
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  • >> them, five of the 13 identify as transgender. a
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  • Young girl went to an after school art class and was
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  • Recruited into the transgender ideology. i had an engineering
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  • Student who said, as soon as i announced i wanted to be an
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  • Engineer, i was told, well, you must be a boy trapped in a
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  • Girl's body. this ideology has taken over the rising
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  • Generation, and most adults have yet to even realize that
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  • That's happened.
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  • >> and i would say that that was a lot of my motivation as
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  • Well. but my major motivation was the parents were
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  • Overwhelmed, scared and angry and confused. and parents don't
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  • Like it when they don't know what's going on. so we're
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  • Really prayerful that our book is going to give insight,
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  • That's going to give confidence and courage to the adults who
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  • Need to say no to their children in the right way, when
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  • Their children are confused.
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  • >> and how can parents know what to do or have confidence
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  • In a topic that just seems so foreign to them? and often we
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  • Don't know where to even start the conversation? so you've
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  • Titled your book gender confident kids. what does that
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  • Mean and why is it important?
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  • >> gender? it goes back probably 4 or 500 years. it's a
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  • Word that the biblical word is kind, that god made things
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  • According to their kind, according to the cat genus or
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  • Genus, is could be a tiger or a lion, but it's the kinds of
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  • Cats when it came to the creation account. genesis
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  • Chapter one god said, i'm going to make human beings in our
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  • Image and they will be male and female. there are two kinds of
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  • Human beings, male and female. gender is not something you
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  • Have to become. it is something that you are. amen. from a
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  • Biblical perspective, there are not 68 different genders. there
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  • Are two there, male and female. so learning how to live that
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  • Out without feeling like you have to conform to certain
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  • Stereotypes is one of the trickiest things that young
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  • Adults today have to do.
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  • >> i love all of that. obviously, i would say the
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  • Gender confidence is a confidence in god. so when you
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  • Know god and the god of the bible and you and you read or
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  • Someone says to you, god created you in his image, and i
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  • Would add for his glory, you know, male or female, not male
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  • And female. although the scripture says male and female,
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  • We are either male or female. it's a confidence in god. it's
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  • A confidence that god is strategic, intentional, loving,
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  • And personal. he doesn't just throw spaghetti against the
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  • Wall and see what sticks, like he strategically decides at the
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  • Moment of creation who we are, and we got to use the word
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  • Creator and creation. we can't let our kids think that they
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  • Were not wanted. we can't let our kids think that there's
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  • Something wrong. we have to say your creator created you in his
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  • Image for such a time as this, and you are to be female. you
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  • Are to be male. it's god confidence.
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  • >> what do you think is behind the explosion of the
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  • Transgender movement and gender confusion?
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  • >> you know, there's several things that we write about.
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  • I'll start by saying i'm the stereotypes are huge kids who
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  • Are told like a boy who's told, oh, you can't like cooking. you
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  • Must be a girl. a girl who likes changing the oil in dad's
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  • Truck because she's a daddy's girl is maybe told, oh, clearly
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  • You're a boy. girls don't like getting dirty and girls don't
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  • Like working in the garage. so the ridiculous stereotype, you
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  • Know, and and also, we wrote about this idea that you have
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  • To learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable, right?
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  • Like we have, like, all of us have been uncomfortable for a
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  • Season or maybe more than one season in our life where
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  • Something was too big or too small or we didn't fit in or
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  • Whatever. in my case, as you both know, i'm six one. i was
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  • Tall as a kid. i came home from school, mommy, i don't want to
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  • Be tall anymore. and i was clumsy. i tripped over things
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  • That weren't even there, and i'm so grateful. my mom didn't
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  • Think, well, let's cut six inches off between the knee and
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  • The ankle. like, we'll just make you short. like that
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  • Wasn't even a thought. back in the day, my appearance worked
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  • With me to change my attitude toward the thing that could not
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  • Be changed. and by the end of the week, i was enrolled in tap
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  • Dance class. i won't prove it today, but i can tap dance. and
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  • I got to be the center of the back row, a position of high
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  • Honor where i became comfortable with my height and
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  • I'm no longer clumsy. and now my height is one of my best
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  • Advantages. i can put suitcases into the overhead bin with no
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  • Problem on all the airplanes, and i can sit on a stool in
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  • Front of a room of people and be seen. and i tell kids all
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  • The time, live long and be strong to find out why you are
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  • The who you are. you know when kids are young, they don't get
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  • It. they don't understand why they like or dislike what's
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  • Going on. but if they would live long and be strong and
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  • Believe in god that he would answer their questions. so i
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  • Think the stereotypes are huge, and i think running from being
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  • Uncomfortable in a in an unhealthy way, i think those
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  • Things are huge. we wrote about a lot of other things though,
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  • Too.
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  • >> if you wanted people to believe that there is no god or
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  • That god is not good, you would have to break down all
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  • Categories of meaning, that there would be no such thing as
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  • Truth that's knowable or justice. well, the category of
  • 00:08:11.204 --> 00:08:14.407
  • Male versus female is pretty persistent. there are not just
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  • 1 or 2 physical differences between males and females.
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  • There are 6500 cataloged differences between males and
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  • Females. so if you wanted there to be no god or you wanted
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  • People to think of god as irrelevant, you have to somehow
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  • Figure out how to get rid of that category and the way it
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  • Happened through what we call gender ideology is the
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  • Development of the gender spectrum. it says that there's
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  • Extreme masculine over here, extreme feminine over here,
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  • Basically g.i. joe and barbie. and since nobody is either g.i.
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  • Joe or barbie, then we're all kind of in the middle. yeah, we
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  • Are non-binary. we are all transgender. that's the way the
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  • Ideology posed this question.
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  • >> and this was all just made up. this was all just an.
  • 00:08:55.281 --> 00:08:59.452
  • >> invention made up. that word gender that we talked about
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  • From several hundred years ago in the hands of a researcher
  • 00:09:01.487 --> 00:09:04.624
  • Named john money, who did sex change operations, became
  • 00:09:04.624 --> 00:09:09.062
  • Something that so so people would say, well, your sex is
  • 00:09:09.062 --> 00:09:11.497
  • Biological, your gender is how you feel. so there's 68
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  • Different genders. everybody is somewhere along that spectrum.
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  • Everybody is. do you think.
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  • >> that gender is an unnecessary category today,
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  • That that gender is should be synonymous with sex, as in your
  • 00:09:23.176 --> 00:09:27.180
  • Biological sex, and that that is just added confusion? or do
  • 00:09:27.180 --> 00:09:31.117
  • You think gender is still a good concept?
  • 00:09:31.117 --> 00:09:33.219
  • >> well, i think it's a great question. i think we see them
  • 00:09:33.219 --> 00:09:36.155
  • As the same thing. sex and gender.
  • 00:09:36.155 --> 00:09:38.191
  • >> are a man and male is the same thing.
  • 00:09:38.191 --> 00:09:40.226
  • >> the problem is the way society has redefined the word.
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  • Sex always refers to an act, not a state of being or a set
  • 00:09:43.096 --> 00:09:47.166
  • Of purposes. so that's why we used gender confident kids in
  • 00:09:47.166 --> 00:09:50.303
  • The book.
  • 00:09:50.303 --> 00:09:51.571
  • >> how can you help parents who are feeling overwhelmed
  • 00:09:51.571 --> 00:09:56.542
  • And outgunned by a culture that is convincing their
  • 00:09:56.542 --> 00:09:59.812
  • Children of this terrible, twisted lie? and how can
  • 00:09:59.812 --> 00:10:03.049
  • They use scripture to break through?
  • 00:10:03.049 --> 00:10:06.953
  • >> parents need to be available. they need to be off
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  • Their phones. this isn't that hard. i'm going to just say
  • 00:10:10.289 --> 00:10:13.192
  • That. and i don't mean that to be. that's a relief. okay, good,
  • 00:10:13.192 --> 00:10:17.063
  • Good. let's put our phones down. let's stay in the room. let's
  • 00:10:17.063 --> 00:10:20.500
  • Have boundaries. boundaries are blessings. when you know love
  • 00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:23.469
  • Is the goal, let's. one of the things we read about in the
  • 00:10:23.469 --> 00:10:27.440
  • Book is you don't have to know it all. in fact, you can play
  • 00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:31.244
  • That. you don't know it when a kid comes to you and a girl
  • 00:10:31.244 --> 00:10:34.881
  • Comes and says, i think i'm really supposed to be a boy,
  • 00:10:34.881 --> 00:10:37.116
  • Well, help me understand. you don't have to know it all. yeah,
  • 00:10:37.116 --> 00:10:40.186
  • Help me understand. where did this idea come from? what if
  • 00:10:40.186 --> 00:10:43.289
  • You're wrong? we teach several question starters that i think
  • 00:10:43.289 --> 00:10:46.325
  • Are discussion starters that i think are really important. you
  • 00:10:46.325 --> 00:10:48.394
  • Don't have to know it all, but you have to be available. we
  • 00:10:48.394 --> 00:10:51.230
  • Want children to come to us. i don't want them going to siri.
  • 00:10:51.230 --> 00:10:55.268
  • I don't want them asking google. i don't want them asking a
  • 00:10:55.268 --> 00:10:58.538
  • Person in a public school who's going to lead them down the
  • 00:10:58.538 --> 00:11:01.040
  • Wrong path, because they're very good at recruiting. we
  • 00:11:01.040 --> 00:11:03.342
  • Need to be available. you don't have to have all the answers.
  • 00:11:03.342 --> 00:11:06.245
  • Truth in scripture. now, if they don't believe scripture,
  • 00:11:06.245 --> 00:11:08.648
  • Then we have to be careful how much scripture we use. yeah,
  • 00:11:08.648 --> 00:11:11.284
  • And one of the things we write about in the book is actually
  • 00:11:11.284 --> 00:11:14.253
  • Ways that you can help children believe that scripture is true.
  • 00:11:14.253 --> 00:11:17.523
  • They have to believe god is good and for them. so you know
  • 00:11:17.523 --> 00:11:20.293
  • What, kirk? have we started that conversation when they're
  • 00:11:20.293 --> 00:11:22.929
  • One years old? do they hear us say in conversation, or do they
  • 00:11:22.929 --> 00:11:26.299
  • Overhear us in the background talking about the goodness of
  • 00:11:26.299 --> 00:11:28.301
  • God? yeah. do they watch us praise god even on the days
  • 00:11:28.301 --> 00:11:31.137
  • That are bad? do they or do they hear us question what was
  • 00:11:31.137 --> 00:11:35.508
  • God thinking and that we're mad? we have to be really careful of
  • 00:11:35.508 --> 00:11:38.211
  • Presenting god as good. i think that's that's a huge beginning
  • 00:11:38.211 --> 00:11:40.913
  • Step, and it's never too late to represent that idea again.
  • 00:11:40.913 --> 00:11:43.349
  • Yeah, yeah.
  • 00:11:43.349 --> 00:11:44.617
  • >> jeff. jeff, i want to ask a separate question for you. what
  • 00:11:44.617 --> 00:11:47.687
  • Are some of the most common mistakes parents make when
  • 00:11:47.687 --> 00:11:50.790
  • They're first made aware that their child is struggling with
  • 00:11:50.790 --> 00:11:56.529
  • Their gender identity? well.
  • 00:11:56.529 --> 00:11:58.297
  • >> when when a, when you find out that a child is struggling
  • 00:11:58.297 --> 00:12:02.401
  • Or they maybe have a friend who's struggling or something
  • 00:12:02.401 --> 00:12:04.403
  • Comes up, mommy, why is that man with the beard wearing a
  • 00:12:04.403 --> 00:12:08.107
  • Dress in the grocery store? when those kinds of things come
  • 00:12:08.107 --> 00:12:11.244
  • Up, the first thing parents tend to do is just try to.
  • 00:12:11.244 --> 00:12:14.147
  • Let's return to a friction free life, okay? let's just pretend
  • 00:12:14.147 --> 00:12:17.183
  • That look the other way. look the other way. it's not
  • 00:12:17.183 --> 00:12:20.186
  • Important. it's not relevant.
  • 00:12:20.186 --> 00:12:21.554
  • >> some people are crazy sometimes.
  • 00:12:21.554 --> 00:12:23.656
  • >> sometimes parents express shock. and children have told
  • 00:12:23.656 --> 00:12:27.326
  • Us, if i think my parent is going to be shocked, i won't
  • 00:12:27.326 --> 00:12:30.997
  • Tell them what i'm really thinking. so doctor cathy talks
  • 00:12:30.997 --> 00:12:34.367
  • About putting on your stone face, but the idea is asking
  • 00:12:34.367 --> 00:12:38.004
  • Questions and we teach. i just think of it as kuku. i'm
  • 00:12:38.004 --> 00:12:42.241
  • Curious. what did you see? what did you think? how did you feel
  • 00:12:42.241 --> 00:12:46.312
  • About that? i understand i've been in a place in life where i
  • 00:12:46.312 --> 00:12:51.517
  • Felt very awkward in my body. i feel like i understand what's
  • 00:12:51.517 --> 00:12:54.153
  • Going on. and then i envision, i envision for you that you
  • 00:12:54.153 --> 00:12:58.157
  • Will be a man or woman who loves god, who loves jesus, and
  • 00:12:58.157 --> 00:13:03.262
  • Isn't somebody who's obsessed with themselves, but somebody
  • 00:13:03.262 --> 00:13:06.232
  • Who in turn is with other people. and those are the kinds
  • 00:13:06.232 --> 00:13:10.536
  • Of conversations that parents can have with their children if
  • 00:13:10.536 --> 00:13:14.407
  • They're just willing to ask rather than tell.
  • 00:13:14.407 --> 00:13:16.242
  • >> and i'm so grateful that you discuss all of this in the book
  • 00:13:16.242 --> 00:13:19.946
  • And you've got these these wonderful this is what it
  • 00:13:19.946 --> 00:13:22.148
  • Sounds like, kind of back and forth dialogs between parents,
  • 00:13:22.148 --> 00:13:25.718
  • Grandparents and children so that we can even practice and
  • 00:13:25.718 --> 00:13:29.255
  • Rehearse these types of things. we have so much more to talk
  • 00:13:29.255 --> 00:13:32.158
  • About. after the break, we're going to continue our
  • 00:13:32.158 --> 00:13:34.227
  • Discussion with cathy and jeff on how parents can talk to
  • 00:13:34.227 --> 00:13:37.129
  • Their kids who may be struggling with their gender
  • 00:13:37.129 --> 00:13:40.233
  • Identity, and then later in the program, laura perry's smaltz
  • 00:13:40.233 --> 00:13:43.035
  • Will share her personal story on struggling with gender
  • 00:13:43.035 --> 00:13:46.472
  • Identity. right after the break.
  • 00:13:46.472 --> 00:13:48.140
  • >> i thought it would be the most miserable person on the
  • 00:13:48.140 --> 00:13:51.611
  • Planet the rest of my life. i could not conceive of how i
  • 00:13:51.611 --> 00:13:54.280
  • Could like being a female again. but as i walked away and i just
  • 00:13:54.280 --> 00:13:58.184
  • Walked away by faith and just trusting god with my life, and
  • 00:13:58.184 --> 00:14:01.687
  • I began to identify in christ and not in myself and not in my
  • 00:14:01.687 --> 00:14:05.892
  • Feelings and my desires. he began to heal me.
  • 00:14:05.892 --> 00:14:13.005
  • Feelings and my desires. he began to heal me.
  • 00:14:13.005 --> 00:14:19.975
  • >> we're back with doctor cathy cook and doctor jeff myers on
  • 00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:25.180
  • Raising gender confident kids. we talked earlier about what's
  • 00:14:25.180 --> 00:14:30.786
  • Behind the explosion of this transgender movement, and i've
  • 00:14:30.786 --> 00:14:34.556
  • Wondered if this is just a trendy thing where kids become
  • 00:14:34.556 --> 00:14:39.328
  • Insta famous and achieve victim status at the at at the onset
  • 00:14:39.328 --> 00:14:45.034
  • Of saying, i think i'm in the wrong body, all of a sudden
  • 00:14:45.034 --> 00:14:49.672
  • I've got friends and i've got organizations that are behind
  • 00:14:49.672 --> 00:14:51.974
  • Me and championing me. and then i've heard others say this is
  • 00:14:51.974 --> 00:14:55.044
  • Ultimately a mental health issue. this gender dysphoria is
  • 00:14:55.044 --> 00:14:58.948
  • Real and these people need help. what do you say? both.
  • 00:14:58.948 --> 00:15:03.986
  • >> go ahead, jeff, you can start.
  • 00:15:03.986 --> 00:15:05.854
  • >> well, i know cathy will talk about the gender dysphoria
  • 00:15:05.854 --> 00:15:08.357
  • Issue. there are people who have a very strong, almost
  • 00:15:08.357 --> 00:15:14.229
  • Obsessive sense that they were born in the wrong body, and
  • 00:15:14.229 --> 00:15:17.333
  • There are a lot of things behind that. it's always
  • 00:15:17.333 --> 00:15:20.369
  • Related to comorbidities such as anxiety, depression, often
  • 00:15:20.369 --> 00:15:23.205
  • Suicidal ideation, other mental health issues. it's always
  • 00:15:23.205 --> 00:15:27.142
  • Related. so if the if you say, well, we're going to treat the
  • 00:15:27.142 --> 00:15:31.146
  • Gender thing first, you're ignoring all of these core
  • 00:15:31.146 --> 00:15:34.550
  • Issues. if a child is able to become mentally healthy during
  • 00:15:34.550 --> 00:15:40.155
  • The teen years, and almost 90% who say they identify as
  • 00:15:40.155 --> 00:15:44.093
  • Transgender in their teen years will say i now by the time i
  • 00:15:44.093 --> 00:15:48.330
  • Finish puberty, i now identify with my natal sex, so it
  • 00:15:48.330 --> 00:15:55.571
  • Resolves. so if we don't.
  • 00:15:55.571 --> 00:15:58.207
  • >> they sort of grow out of it is sort of a crass way of
  • 00:15:58.207 --> 00:16:01.577
  • Saying.
  • 00:16:01.577 --> 00:16:02.811
  • >> oh, out of it. yes, yes. but it is a cultural issue and it's
  • 00:16:02.911 --> 00:16:05.214
  • Very important. so i was a university professor, and in
  • 00:16:05.214 --> 00:16:08.350
  • The universities it is very important to the gender
  • 00:16:08.350 --> 00:16:11.153
  • Ideologists to tear down any concepts of truth that are
  • 00:16:11.153 --> 00:16:14.823
  • Knowable. so denying the relevance of male and female in
  • 00:16:14.823 --> 00:16:18.093
  • A university setting is the core thing that is filtered
  • 00:16:18.093 --> 00:16:22.164
  • Down into schools. half the public schools in the united
  • 00:16:22.164 --> 00:16:25.467
  • States of america teach gender ideology now 50%, not because
  • 00:16:25.467 --> 00:16:29.104
  • The teachers want it. two thirds of the teachers say we
  • 00:16:29.104 --> 00:16:32.741
  • Don't like it. only 4% of the teachers say we think this is
  • 00:16:32.741 --> 00:16:35.310
  • Appropriate for elementary school children. but there is
  • 00:16:35.310 --> 00:16:37.112
  • An administrative agenda that is being taught. if that agenda
  • 00:16:37.112 --> 00:16:41.083
  • Is not lifted, this is going to be a lifetime issue for us.
  • 00:16:41.083 --> 00:16:44.920
  • >> so it's messy.
  • 00:16:44.920 --> 00:16:46.155
  • >> it it is messy and we want to stand against this virus
  • 00:16:46.155 --> 00:16:52.161
  • That is infected people's minds and their hearts, that is
  • 00:16:52.161 --> 00:16:56.098
  • Destroying a whole generation of young boys and young girls,
  • 00:16:56.098 --> 00:16:59.001
  • And at the same time have hearts of compassion toward
  • 00:16:59.001 --> 00:17:02.171
  • Those who are trapped in this matrix. and they don't see any
  • 00:17:02.171 --> 00:17:05.107
  • Way out.
  • 00:17:05.107 --> 00:17:06.341
  • >> exactly. to be compassionate, to offer them hope, to not call
  • 00:17:06.442 --> 00:17:08.510
  • Them stupid. they've been deceived. and you know, you're
  • 00:17:08.510 --> 00:17:12.247
  • Right that in many of our public schools in particular,
  • 00:17:12.247 --> 00:17:14.316
  • If somebody comes out in this regard, they're celebrated. you
  • 00:17:14.316 --> 00:17:17.453
  • Know, the red carpet is is laid out for them and their locker
  • 00:17:17.453 --> 00:17:20.489
  • Is decorated. and this is why parents have to be available
  • 00:17:20.489 --> 00:17:24.359
  • And parents have to have strong relationships with their
  • 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:27.062
  • Children, as do others aunts and uncles and grandparents and
  • 00:17:27.062 --> 00:17:29.665
  • Friends and coaches and pastors. let's connect with our youth
  • 00:17:29.665 --> 00:17:33.135
  • And let's make sure that they have a strong belonging. that's
  • 00:17:33.135 --> 00:17:36.438
  • What they're looking for is a tribe to belong to and use that
  • 00:17:36.438 --> 00:17:39.741
  • Word. so let's give them that. belonging with soccer and with
  • 00:17:39.741 --> 00:17:43.745
  • A youth choir and with drama, and with volunteering at the
  • 00:17:43.745 --> 00:17:46.248
  • Nursing home. so they have places to go and people to
  • 00:17:46.248 --> 00:17:48.951
  • Connect with so that they're not desperate to be discovered,
  • 00:17:48.951 --> 00:17:51.453
  • Because they know that if they make that announcement, they
  • 00:17:51.453 --> 00:17:54.256
  • Will be discovered. and we don't want that for them,
  • 00:17:54.256 --> 00:17:56.525
  • Because once they're discovered, even if it's a lie, they're not
  • 00:17:56.525 --> 00:17:59.228
  • Truly in fact, the majority of people with gender dysphoria,
  • 00:17:59.228 --> 00:18:02.197
  • They don't have gender dysphoria. they have identity
  • 00:18:02.197 --> 00:18:04.700
  • Dysphoria. kirk. they're confused about all aspects of
  • 00:18:04.700 --> 00:18:06.969
  • Who they are, but they've chosen gender because they see
  • 00:18:06.969 --> 00:18:10.572
  • That it's fixable and that it's something that will be
  • 00:18:10.572 --> 00:18:13.208
  • Celebrated. and it's all a lie. you cannot change your gender.
  • 00:18:13.208 --> 00:18:16.311
  • We have to help them with that. that makes sense.
  • 00:18:16.311 --> 00:18:19.214
  • >> yeah. do you talk in your book about situations where
  • 00:18:19.214 --> 00:18:23.051
  • Some think that that their kids have already gone too far,
  • 00:18:23.051 --> 00:18:26.221
  • Right. like she, she's she's called bill. she's cut off body
  • 00:18:26.221 --> 00:18:31.793
  • Parts. she'll never have children again. is there still
  • 00:18:31.793 --> 00:18:34.596
  • Hope?
  • 00:18:34.596 --> 00:18:36.131
  • >> there's always hope. there's always hope that our book is
  • 00:18:36.131 --> 00:18:40.035
  • Really mostly about preventing the issue. so we spend way more,
  • 00:18:40.035 --> 00:18:44.106
  • More words on helping people understand the issue so that it
  • 00:18:44.106 --> 00:18:48.076
  • Doesn't get that far, because that's our desire for children,
  • 00:18:48.076 --> 00:18:50.479
  • That it wouldn't go that far. although there's there's so
  • 00:18:50.479 --> 00:18:53.182
  • Much information in there, including our faq section that
  • 00:18:53.182 --> 00:18:56.351
  • Will help parents, grandparents, social workers, counselors and
  • 00:18:56.351 --> 00:18:59.154
  • Others deal with kids who have already started social
  • 00:18:59.154 --> 00:19:02.090
  • Transitioning, which would be a wardrobe here. name change or
  • 00:19:02.090 --> 00:19:06.061
  • The medical transition. there's always hope. we don't give up.
  • 00:19:06.061 --> 00:19:08.530
  • We know of people who have transitioned back in many ways,
  • 00:19:08.530 --> 00:19:12.267
  • Which is so very encouraging. yes.
  • 00:19:12.267 --> 00:19:14.436
  • >> we work with a lot of young people who are in this
  • 00:19:14.436 --> 00:19:17.673
  • Situation and giving them room to move backward away from the
  • 00:19:17.673 --> 00:19:21.276
  • Agenda is going to be a significant part of it. now, i
  • 00:19:21.276 --> 00:19:24.079
  • Hate to just make this all sound too theoretical, but
  • 00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:27.149
  • Transgender ideology is like a cult. it is like a religious
  • 00:19:27.149 --> 00:19:31.019
  • Movement. it's got steps where you get involved. you're you're
  • 00:19:31.019 --> 00:19:34.356
  • Instructed to cut off people who disagree with you. so
  • 00:19:34.356 --> 00:19:38.694
  • Keeping the lines of communication open, asking the
  • 00:19:38.694 --> 00:19:40.996
  • Questions, the significant. but for most parents, it's a
  • 00:19:40.996 --> 00:19:44.199
  • Question of helping their boys realize god made you to be a
  • 00:19:44.199 --> 00:19:47.636
  • Boy. he made you to be a boy who was a football player, or
  • 00:19:47.636 --> 00:19:51.106
  • He made you to be a boy who was a violin player. it doesn't
  • 00:19:51.106 --> 00:19:54.610
  • Matter. you are a boy and similarly with a girl, and
  • 00:19:54.610 --> 00:19:57.312
  • You've been designed as boys and girls to harmonize with one
  • 00:19:57.312 --> 00:20:00.148
  • Another. this is the beauty of god's creation, that we
  • 00:20:00.148 --> 00:20:03.385
  • Literally have only been given part of what we need as males
  • 00:20:03.385 --> 00:20:07.356
  • Or females to to experience god and to live in a flourishing
  • 00:20:07.356 --> 00:20:11.360
  • Way with society. we have to work together to do that.
  • 00:20:11.360 --> 00:20:14.129
  • >> that's so exciting to me. and that speaks of the goodness
  • 00:20:14.129 --> 00:20:17.165
  • And the brilliance of god, because he is a god of
  • 00:20:17.165 --> 00:20:21.069
  • Relationship. and just like this, i need you, i need you,
  • 00:20:21.069 --> 00:20:25.641
  • You need the two of us because we're all members of one body
  • 00:20:25.641 --> 00:20:29.177
  • Under the head, the mind of christ, and together we bring
  • 00:20:29.177 --> 00:20:33.248
  • Heaven to earth. this is so exciting. and that's the
  • 00:20:33.248 --> 00:20:36.218
  • Concept between male and female. we're complementary.
  • 00:20:36.218 --> 00:20:39.187
  • >> yes, i think we do an outstanding job, if i can say
  • 00:20:39.187 --> 00:20:42.257
  • It that way, of talking about respecting your gender, like
  • 00:20:42.257 --> 00:20:45.260
  • Wanting to be the gender that god chose for you and why that
  • 00:20:45.260 --> 00:20:48.930
  • Can be and ought to be good, and then also respecting the
  • 00:20:48.930 --> 00:20:52.668
  • Other gender. i think it's extremely important that we
  • 00:20:52.668 --> 00:20:54.169
  • Believe that, that there's a goodness in us because god is
  • 00:20:54.169 --> 00:20:57.939
  • Good and that there's goodness in the other. i don't want to
  • 00:20:57.939 --> 00:21:01.376
  • Lust after the other gender and think that if i had that gender,
  • 00:21:01.376 --> 00:21:04.413
  • All of my problems would go away. but i want to respect the
  • 00:21:04.413 --> 00:21:07.215
  • Gender. there's a difference there. yeah, that makes sense.
  • 00:21:07.215 --> 00:21:10.218
  • >> yeah, yeah, there sure does.
  • 00:21:10.218 --> 00:21:11.520
  • >> my favorite example from the book on the harmony between
  • 00:21:11.520 --> 00:21:14.189
  • Males and females is just in the way we see the world. males
  • 00:21:14.189 --> 00:21:17.326
  • Have a preponderance of cells that focus on contrast and
  • 00:21:17.326 --> 00:21:20.262
  • Motion. retinal cells, females have a preponderance of cells
  • 00:21:20.262 --> 00:21:24.366
  • That focus on color and texture. if you want to see the world
  • 00:21:24.366 --> 00:21:28.170
  • Accurately, you have to see contrast, motion, color, and
  • 00:21:28.170 --> 00:21:31.139
  • Texture that we literally need each other to be able to see
  • 00:21:31.139 --> 00:21:34.109
  • The. world as god made it.
  • 00:21:34.109 --> 00:21:36.278
  • >> you mention in your book how these stereotypes that we've
  • 00:21:36.278 --> 00:21:39.448
  • Created, gi joe or barbie, can contribute to the problem, and
  • 00:21:39.448 --> 00:21:43.352
  • We try to make our boys more, more and more like g.i. joe.
  • 00:21:43.352 --> 00:21:47.356
  • You know, i heard jordan peterson reference this when he
  • 00:21:47.356 --> 00:21:52.994
  • Talked about there are two genders, male and female, but
  • 00:21:52.994 --> 00:21:56.031
  • There is a spectrum of masculine feminine. and he said,
  • 00:21:56.031 --> 00:22:00.035
  • Even if you were to just put me on that spectrum, i'm not the
  • 00:22:00.035 --> 00:22:04.206
  • G.i. joe type. right? i'm very tuned in to your feelings and
  • 00:22:04.206 --> 00:22:07.342
  • Relational and psychological and all of this, he said. i'm
  • 00:22:07.342 --> 00:22:10.979
  • Much more characteristically feminine, but that doesn't make
  • 00:22:10.979 --> 00:22:13.382
  • Me a woman.
  • 00:22:13.382 --> 00:22:14.116
  • >> amen.
  • 00:22:14.116 --> 00:22:15.117
  • >> he said, i'm a man through and through.
  • 00:22:15.117 --> 00:22:17.652
  • >> yeah, well, i think.
  • 00:22:17.652 --> 00:22:18.920
  • >> that's really important for tom, tom, boys and and and boys
  • 00:22:18.920 --> 00:22:22.324
  • Who, you know, they're just very in touch with the creative
  • 00:22:22.324 --> 00:22:25.293
  • Side with, with, with their feelings and relationally
  • 00:22:25.293 --> 00:22:28.497
  • Minded.
  • 00:22:28.497 --> 00:22:29.698
  • >> and this is where moms and dads need to be really positive
  • 00:22:29.798 --> 00:22:32.167
  • Role models of that in their own lives and their own
  • 00:22:32.167 --> 00:22:35.237
  • Confidence introducing them to others. quick story. i was in
  • 00:22:35.237 --> 00:22:37.038
  • Front of about 175 preteens and teens at an event, and i was
  • 00:22:37.038 --> 00:22:41.042
  • Talking about gender and a variety of, of issues, and i
  • 00:22:41.042 --> 00:22:44.012
  • Looked out at the girls and i said, how many? in the context
  • 00:22:44.012 --> 00:22:47.182
  • I had spoken for about 45 minutes. so they trusted me.
  • 00:22:47.182 --> 00:22:50.085
  • And i said, i'm going to ask you, how many of you think that
  • 00:22:50.085 --> 00:22:53.455
  • You might be be tomboys? and probably about 80% of the girls
  • 00:22:53.455 --> 00:22:56.258
  • Raised their hands very quickly. they knew. and then i looked
  • 00:22:56.258 --> 00:22:59.428
  • Out at the audience and i said, tomboys are girls. and the boys
  • 00:22:59.428 --> 00:23:02.397
  • Clapped. the boys clapped for them spontaneously. wow. and
  • 00:23:02.397 --> 00:23:05.200
  • Then the girls began to clap, and they actually gave
  • 00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:07.602
  • Themselves a standing ovation that it is okay to be a
  • 00:23:07.602 --> 00:23:11.139
  • Feminine girl that is so, and also want to sweat, or want to
  • 00:23:11.139 --> 00:23:14.176
  • Get dirty, or want to climb a tree, or want to play soccer
  • 00:23:14.176 --> 00:23:17.212
  • All out. it was it was a defining moment for them. and
  • 00:23:17.212 --> 00:23:20.415
  • Then we were able to say, don't let the culture bring you down.
  • 00:23:20.415 --> 00:23:24.553
  • Know who you are, and know that you can be who you were created
  • 00:23:24.553 --> 00:23:27.289
  • To be. we've got to do that better. i was so privileged to
  • 00:23:27.289 --> 00:23:31.193
  • Be there that day.
  • 00:23:31.193 --> 00:23:32.360
  • >> i'm so thankful for you guys. what do you hope people will
  • 00:23:32.461 --> 00:23:35.230
  • Get out of this book that you've written together?
  • 00:23:35.230 --> 00:23:37.365
  • >> we want boys to feel confident that they can grow up
  • 00:23:37.365 --> 00:23:40.001
  • To be godly men without resorting to cultural
  • 00:23:40.001 --> 00:23:42.637
  • Stereotypes, knowing that they that god's design in them is
  • 00:23:42.637 --> 00:23:46.174
  • Good, that even in the tough times he is building in them
  • 00:23:46.174 --> 00:23:49.177
  • The character they need to move outside of themselves and bring
  • 00:23:49.177 --> 00:23:53.315
  • Flourishing to the world in the same thing for girls that they
  • 00:23:53.315 --> 00:23:57.419
  • Would feel confident growing into godly women, that we'd be
  • 00:23:57.419 --> 00:24:00.055
  • Able to look at the culture and recognize how sad it is that
  • 00:24:00.055 --> 00:24:03.058
  • People don't get this. how sad it is that people feel so
  • 00:24:03.058 --> 00:24:06.962
  • Confused, but that we do believe that god is good and he
  • 00:24:06.962 --> 00:24:10.332
  • Can bring redemption, even in the seeming impossible,
  • 00:24:10.332 --> 00:24:14.169
  • Seemingly impossible situations.
  • 00:24:14.169 --> 00:24:16.104
  • >> yeah. how about you, kathy?
  • 00:24:16.104 --> 00:24:18.139
  • >> excellent. obviously, jeff, we want parents to be confident.
  • 00:24:18.139 --> 00:24:20.976
  • We want parents to parent well, to be strong, to stand up and
  • 00:24:20.976 --> 00:24:24.980
  • To be the authority that children are craving without
  • 00:24:24.980 --> 00:24:28.216
  • Apology, to do it well, love strong and speak the truth and
  • 00:24:28.216 --> 00:24:31.920
  • Love.
  • 00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:33.088
  • >> thank you both for this. i wish we could talk forever and
  • 00:24:33.188 --> 00:24:35.290
  • Ever. we will. we're brothers and sisters in the lord. we'll
  • 00:24:35.290 --> 00:24:39.227
  • Have eternity to do this. and thank you for for helping us
  • 00:24:39.227 --> 00:24:42.964
  • Raise gender confident kids.
  • 00:24:42.964 --> 00:24:44.266
  • >> thank you.
  • 00:24:44.266 --> 00:24:45.500
  • >> up next, laura perry smalls is going to share her personal
  • 00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:49.037
  • Journey on going from transgender to transformed by
  • 00:24:49.037 --> 00:24:53.241
  • The power of jesus christ. don't go away. laura perry
  • 00:24:53.241 --> 00:25:00.005
  • The power of jesus christ. don't go away. laura perry
  • 00:25:00.005 --> 00:25:07.723
  • Smalls is an author and speaker who shares her story of how
  • 00:25:08.925 --> 00:25:13.629
  • Jesus christ rescued her from a transgender identity. her story
  • 00:25:13.629 --> 00:25:17.700
  • Is available in her autobiography, transgender to
  • 00:25:17.700 --> 00:25:21.971
  • Transformed. she and her husband, perry now run a
  • 00:25:21.971 --> 00:25:24.206
  • Ministry called eden's redemption, which aims to teach
  • 00:25:24.206 --> 00:25:27.043
  • And equip people to understand gender and sexuality from god's
  • 00:25:27.043 --> 00:25:32.048
  • Perspective. laura, thanks so much for coming on takeaways.
  • 00:25:32.048 --> 00:25:34.450
  • >> yeah, thank you so much for having me here.
  • 00:25:34.450 --> 00:25:37.086
  • >> we've had a chance to meet before and you're amazing
  • 00:25:37.086 --> 00:25:40.156
  • Husband, and your story is one that i keep amplifying anywhere
  • 00:25:40.156 --> 00:25:43.459
  • That i go because it focuses on the power of god to literally
  • 00:25:43.459 --> 00:25:48.331
  • Transform us on the inside, the outside and our whole world.
  • 00:25:48.331 --> 00:25:53.836
  • Let me ask you, people will find your perspective so unique
  • 00:25:53.836 --> 00:25:57.206
  • On the transgender identity issue because you've lived it.
  • 00:25:57.206 --> 00:26:02.111
  • I have a background question. what was your relationship with
  • 00:26:02.111 --> 00:26:05.181
  • God like early in your life?
  • 00:26:05.181 --> 00:26:08.451
  • >> you know, i think i grew up hearing a lot about god. we
  • 00:26:08.451 --> 00:26:12.321
  • Were one of those families that were in church every time the
  • 00:26:12.321 --> 00:26:15.291
  • Door was open. but i really didn't understand the gospel,
  • 00:26:15.291 --> 00:26:19.061
  • And i think a lot of it was because i had a warped
  • 00:26:19.061 --> 00:26:22.064
  • Perception of god. i thought god was a harsh taskmaster
  • 00:26:22.064 --> 00:26:24.533
  • Waiting to, you know, scream at me and beat me into submission.
  • 00:26:24.533 --> 00:26:27.403
  • And like, if i wasn't performing well, then, then god
  • 00:26:27.403 --> 00:26:30.506
  • Wasn't. then god didn't love me. but i didn't understand the
  • 00:26:30.506 --> 00:26:33.309
  • Love of god. and of course, he wants us to obey. but it wasn't
  • 00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:36.212
  • Until years later when i learned what that he wanted a
  • 00:26:36.212 --> 00:26:39.949
  • Relationship, that he wanted me to know him. that he wanted me
  • 00:26:39.949 --> 00:26:43.719
  • To know how much he loved me. that really began to change me.
  • 00:26:43.719 --> 00:26:46.122
  • >> and in the family that you grew up in, did you have a
  • 00:26:46.122 --> 00:26:51.160
  • Normal family, a healthy family, would you call it dysfunctional?
  • 00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:54.063
  • And how did you feel about yourself as a little girl?
  • 00:26:54.063 --> 00:26:56.966
  • >> you know, now that i'm older and i can look back and i've
  • 00:26:56.966 --> 00:27:00.403
  • Had my own family, i look back and see that i had a very good
  • 00:27:00.403 --> 00:27:04.340
  • Family and a very loving family. for the most part, we were
  • 00:27:04.340 --> 00:27:07.176
  • Dysfunctional, i think, in a in some ways, because we all are.
  • 00:27:07.176 --> 00:27:10.079
  • We all have some kind of brokenness. but i, my, my
  • 00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:13.282
  • Relationship with my mom was very difficult. and mostly, i
  • 00:27:13.282 --> 00:27:16.218
  • Think, because of her own brokenness. i share her story
  • 00:27:16.218 --> 00:27:19.422
  • Sometimes when i tell mine because she had a very
  • 00:27:19.422 --> 00:27:22.258
  • Legalistic view of god a lot like i did, and she always felt
  • 00:27:22.258 --> 00:27:25.094
  • Like she wasn't good enough for god that she was on this
  • 00:27:25.094 --> 00:27:28.030
  • Performance treadmill for god. as a result, she was stressed
  • 00:27:28.030 --> 00:27:30.399
  • Out. she was burned out, she was exhausted, and i think just
  • 00:27:30.399 --> 00:27:33.235
  • Didn't have a lot of time or patience for me. and that
  • 00:27:33.235 --> 00:27:36.172
  • Warped my perception of my relationship with her. and i
  • 00:27:36.172 --> 00:27:39.208
  • Started to believe this lie that she didn't love me. but
  • 00:27:39.208 --> 00:27:42.211
  • Now that i'm older, i understand what my mom was
  • 00:27:42.211 --> 00:27:44.413
  • Going through, and i would do anything to go back and tell my
  • 00:27:44.413 --> 00:27:48.150
  • Mom how much i love her and try to help her, rather than, you
  • 00:27:48.150 --> 00:27:51.220
  • Know, being an extra burden on her like i so often was.
  • 00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:55.091
  • >> did you, did you? what did you think about yourself? did
  • 00:27:55.091 --> 00:27:58.294
  • You like yourself as a as a little kid?
  • 00:27:58.294 --> 00:28:00.596
  • >> i started to really have a warped perception of myself
  • 00:28:00.596 --> 00:28:03.365
  • Because my mom pushed me away a lot. and that's just where it
  • 00:28:03.365 --> 00:28:08.337
  • Started. i again, i don't blame her at all, but i was jealous
  • 00:28:08.337 --> 00:28:11.440
  • Of my brother and that's the problem. so even though i was
  • 00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:14.577
  • Sinned against, i developed a lot of jealousy, a lot of
  • 00:28:14.577 --> 00:28:17.346
  • Bitterness, a lot of anger. and i was always trying to be like
  • 00:28:17.346 --> 00:28:20.349
  • My brother. and i started to wish that i had been a boy, and
  • 00:28:20.349 --> 00:28:24.153
  • Maybe mom would like me more if i was a boy. but then when i
  • 00:28:24.153 --> 00:28:27.857
  • Went to school and the other girls picked on me, or, you
  • 00:28:27.857 --> 00:28:30.459
  • Know, i really believed that they rejected me. but now that
  • 00:28:30.459 --> 00:28:33.262
  • I look back, i think i was the one that was so insecure and i
  • 00:28:33.262 --> 00:28:37.133
  • Didn't know how to relate to the girls. i didn't trust girls.
  • 00:28:37.133 --> 00:28:40.069
  • And so i would just go play with the boys. and so that's
  • 00:28:40.069 --> 00:28:43.372
  • Where that really developed early in childhood.
  • 00:28:43.372 --> 00:28:45.808
  • >> isn't it so fascinating how our relationship with our
  • 00:28:45.808 --> 00:28:47.510
  • Parents, even when our parents are doing the very best that
  • 00:28:47.510 --> 00:28:50.112
  • They can with the tools that they have, and we have no idea
  • 00:28:50.112 --> 00:28:53.983
  • The struggles that they dealt with as kids, how that impacts
  • 00:28:53.983 --> 00:28:56.685
  • How we feel about ourselves and the trajectory of our life as
  • 00:28:56.685 --> 00:29:00.756
  • Adults. laurel, do you remember when you decided that you
  • 00:29:00.756 --> 00:29:06.228
  • Wanted to actually transition from female to male?
  • 00:29:06.228 --> 00:29:11.200
  • >> yeah, and it starts with this. and i wanted to emphasize
  • 00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:15.137
  • This. i see so often kids that become angry and bitter with
  • 00:29:15.137 --> 00:29:19.141
  • God for things that have happened in their life, for the
  • 00:29:19.141 --> 00:29:21.177
  • Way that he made them. they're not as pretty, they're not as
  • 00:29:21.177 --> 00:29:24.513
  • Smart, they're not as athletic, or there's been abuse, there's
  • 00:29:24.513 --> 00:29:27.316
  • Been trauma, whatever. and a lot of them turn away from god
  • 00:29:27.316 --> 00:29:30.352
  • And get into other kinds of sin partying, drinking, drugs. but
  • 00:29:30.352 --> 00:29:33.322
  • A lot of times sexuality and i got into i really turned away
  • 00:29:33.322 --> 00:29:38.260
  • From god. i was angry at god, and i was giving myself away
  • 00:29:38.260 --> 00:29:41.130
  • Sexually to anyone and everyone who had paid attention to me,
  • 00:29:41.130 --> 00:29:44.366
  • Trying to find love and acceptance. but instead i was
  • 00:29:44.366 --> 00:29:46.368
  • Used, abused, dumped, and rejected over and over and over
  • 00:29:46.368 --> 00:29:49.238
  • Again until i had no self-worth or value. and that is a lot of
  • 00:29:49.238 --> 00:29:53.075
  • What led me to transition, because i finally thought, you
  • 00:29:53.075 --> 00:29:56.679
  • Know, the reason this never works out, the reason i'm never
  • 00:29:56.679 --> 00:30:00.115
  • Happy in these relationships is because i was supposed to be
  • 00:30:00.115 --> 00:30:02.284
  • The man. who.
  • 00:30:02.284 --> 00:30:04.019
  • >> and that if maybe you could be the man, the one that maybe
  • 00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:10.492
  • You were supposed to be, that relationships would work out,
  • 00:30:10.492 --> 00:30:13.562
  • People would love you and you would be happy and whole.
  • 00:30:13.562 --> 00:30:16.932
  • >> yeah. and that's really where that deception started.
  • 00:30:16.932 --> 00:30:19.501
  • And so when i started going down that journey and i had a,
  • 00:30:19.501 --> 00:30:23.606
  • A partner fairly early on, now, i didn't realize at the time he
  • 00:30:23.606 --> 00:30:27.209
  • Really pursued me. he was also transgender. he was a male
  • 00:30:27.209 --> 00:30:30.579
  • Living as a female. but he kind of pursued me. and i look back
  • 00:30:30.579 --> 00:30:34.049
  • And that was we. he was still in the male role and i was
  • 00:30:34.049 --> 00:30:37.286
  • Still in the female role, even though we were both pretending
  • 00:30:37.286 --> 00:30:40.623
  • We were the opposite.
  • 00:30:40.623 --> 00:30:41.690
  • >> wow, wow. and and i assume you had a male name?
  • 00:30:41.690 --> 00:30:47.263
  • >> yeah, i went by the name jake. so my name was legally
  • 00:30:47.263 --> 00:30:51.100
  • Jacob.
  • 00:30:51.100 --> 00:30:52.268
  • >> and legally changed your name. what was that process
  • 00:30:52.268 --> 00:30:55.571
  • Like? was it a difficult journey or an easy journey?
  • 00:30:55.571 --> 00:30:59.141
  • Going from a biological female to identifying as a male with
  • 00:30:59.141 --> 00:31:04.246
  • All of the doctors and the counselors and the treatments?
  • 00:31:04.246 --> 00:31:07.082
  • >> you know, it was it was difficult in the beginning. i
  • 00:31:07.082 --> 00:31:10.986
  • Had to go to a counselor because at the time there was
  • 00:31:10.986 --> 00:31:14.290
  • At least a little more regulation on it, and i had to
  • 00:31:14.290 --> 00:31:17.092
  • Go to a counselor for three sessions to be diagnosed with
  • 00:31:17.092 --> 00:31:20.095
  • This condition. and she realized at some point that i
  • 00:31:20.095 --> 00:31:23.132
  • Had a lot of issues with my mom. and again, i don't blame my mom,
  • 00:31:23.132 --> 00:31:27.469
  • But we all are sinners raising other sinners. and i had a lot
  • 00:31:27.469 --> 00:31:30.272
  • Of anger and bitterness because i believed a lot of lies about
  • 00:31:30.272 --> 00:31:33.075
  • It. so for there was some issues there. and she said, you
  • 00:31:33.075 --> 00:31:36.412
  • Really have issues with your mom. and i blew up at her. i
  • 00:31:36.412 --> 00:31:39.181
  • Couldn't believe i was like, how did we get from me talking
  • 00:31:39.181 --> 00:31:42.351
  • About being a man to talking about my mother? and i said,
  • 00:31:42.351 --> 00:31:45.087
  • I'm not here to talk about my mom. so she said, you just are
  • 00:31:45.087 --> 00:31:49.725
  • Here for this diagnosis. i said, yes, that's all i'm here for.
  • 00:31:49.725 --> 00:31:52.528
  • And she said, okay, just give me what i wanted. give me that
  • 00:31:52.528 --> 00:31:55.197
  • Diagnosis. i took it to a doctor that i'd gone to for
  • 00:31:55.197 --> 00:31:58.033
  • Years. never had mentioned anything about being
  • 00:31:58.033 --> 00:31:59.969
  • Transgender. he said, okay, is this what you want? and i said,
  • 00:31:59.969 --> 00:32:03.205
  • Yes, this is what i want. and he said, okay. and he started
  • 00:32:03.205 --> 00:32:06.575
  • Me on testosterone injections that day.
  • 00:32:06.575 --> 00:32:07.776
  • >> so what did you think of your new life as a man? was it
  • 00:32:07.776 --> 00:32:11.347
  • Easier than being a woman? was it lonelier? was it what you
  • 00:32:11.347 --> 00:32:15.217
  • Thought it would be?
  • 00:32:15.217 --> 00:32:16.485
  • >> you know, at first it seemed to be. it's a lot like a drug
  • 00:32:16.485 --> 00:32:20.322
  • High. so at first it was amazing and exciting. i mean,
  • 00:32:20.322 --> 00:32:23.726
  • Any kind of new adventure, you know, it floods our brain with
  • 00:32:23.726 --> 00:32:26.161
  • Dopamine. and it just it's exciting. and you're kind of on
  • 00:32:26.161 --> 00:32:29.231
  • This big high of this new journey you're on. but
  • 00:32:29.231 --> 00:32:32.301
  • Eventually that starts to fade. and but even physically, i mean,
  • 00:32:32.301 --> 00:32:36.438
  • You give a girl testosterone and she's going to feel like
  • 00:32:36.438 --> 00:32:38.474
  • She has more energy and going to feel. i mean, it feels
  • 00:32:38.474 --> 00:32:41.276
  • Amazing at first, but then that starts to have negative effects
  • 00:32:41.276 --> 00:32:44.646
  • On the body. but early on, i started feeling like this
  • 00:32:44.646 --> 00:32:47.316
  • Wasn't real. i could tell it was very artificial, because
  • 00:32:47.316 --> 00:32:50.085
  • The only reason i'm looking like a man is because i'm
  • 00:32:50.085 --> 00:32:52.755
  • Injecting myself with testosterone. the only reason
  • 00:32:52.755 --> 00:32:54.323
  • People are calling me jake is because i'm telling them to,
  • 00:32:54.323 --> 00:32:57.393
  • You know? but over time, i kept thinking, well, one day this
  • 00:32:57.393 --> 00:33:00.929
  • Will be real. but it was like, well, what do i need to do in
  • 00:33:00.929 --> 00:33:05.267
  • Order to make this real? so after every step was like, i
  • 00:33:05.267 --> 00:33:08.203
  • Can't wait until i get my my chest binders, these things
  • 00:33:08.203 --> 00:33:11.540
  • That i could use to kind of make give me a more masculine
  • 00:33:11.540 --> 00:33:15.244
  • Appearance will work, right? which i didn't realize at the
  • 00:33:15.244 --> 00:33:17.379
  • Time how dangerous they are there. i started having severe
  • 00:33:17.379 --> 00:33:20.516
  • Back problems. girls have cracked ribs, some have popped
  • 00:33:20.516 --> 00:33:23.886
  • Lungs. this is really dangerous and nobody ever tells you that.
  • 00:33:23.886 --> 00:33:27.556
  • I just ordered them online. and then when that the high from
  • 00:33:27.556 --> 00:33:30.159
  • That wore off, well, it's like, well, i can't wait until i get
  • 00:33:30.159 --> 00:33:33.462
  • My name changed. then everything will be then. then i
  • 00:33:33.462 --> 00:33:36.065
  • Will have this legal name and everybody will have to call me
  • 00:33:36.065 --> 00:33:39.568
  • Jake, you know? but that still didn't fix it. and then i
  • 00:33:39.568 --> 00:33:42.738
  • Eventually had two major surgeries. i had my breast
  • 00:33:42.738 --> 00:33:45.808
  • Removed, i had a hysterectomy, i had the ovaries removed. and
  • 00:33:45.808 --> 00:33:48.177
  • Yet every step they would have this high. and then when that
  • 00:33:48.177 --> 00:33:51.080
  • Would wear off and the excitement would wear off, i
  • 00:33:51.080 --> 00:33:53.348
  • Was just back to this is still just normal life. i remember at
  • 00:33:53.348 --> 00:33:56.919
  • One point going, i'm still just going to work and paying bills
  • 00:33:56.919 --> 00:33:59.922
  • Like this. this hasn't made me in one sense. it allowed me to
  • 00:33:59.922 --> 00:34:03.158
  • Suppress the pain because i, i had deep, deep self-hatred
  • 00:34:03.158 --> 00:34:06.195
  • Because i was i hated myself as a woman because i had felt so
  • 00:34:06.195 --> 00:34:10.132
  • Rejected as a girl. and i forgot to mention earlier, i
  • 00:34:10.132 --> 00:34:13.502
  • Had had a lot of health problems my entire life. i
  • 00:34:13.502 --> 00:34:16.205
  • Struggled with my weight so much, my entire life up and
  • 00:34:16.205 --> 00:34:19.108
  • Down, and i could never, if i could, finally do these extreme
  • 00:34:19.108 --> 00:34:22.377
  • Dieting and exercise and stuff, it would burn out my adrenals
  • 00:34:22.377 --> 00:34:25.347
  • And i'd have other problems. and so i just was on this yo yo.
  • 00:34:25.347 --> 00:34:28.517
  • And every time that i would lose weight, i would get lots
  • 00:34:28.517 --> 00:34:32.521
  • Of attention from guys. and then every time i'd gain weight,
  • 00:34:32.521 --> 00:34:35.557
  • They would just scatter, you know, and i couldn't get any
  • 00:34:35.557 --> 00:34:38.127
  • Attention. and so i had a lot of rejection about my body and
  • 00:34:38.127 --> 00:34:41.964
  • Just hating the idea of being female. so this whole process,
  • 00:34:41.964 --> 00:34:45.167
  • Even though i'm realizing that this isn't really real, it's
  • 00:34:45.167 --> 00:34:48.070
  • Not really solving the problems, but i just couldn't stand the
  • 00:34:48.070 --> 00:34:51.206
  • Thought of going back to being female.
  • 00:34:51.206 --> 00:34:53.108
  • >> did your family and friends accept this change?
  • 00:34:53.108 --> 00:34:56.979
  • >> i had, you know, it was interesting. i cut out most of
  • 00:34:56.979 --> 00:35:01.150
  • My friends, even the ones that were affirming because i didn't
  • 00:35:01.150 --> 00:35:04.052
  • Want anyone to know. i didn't want to be openly transgender.
  • 00:35:04.052 --> 00:35:08.056
  • I wanted to transition to a man and forget that i'd ever been
  • 00:35:08.056 --> 00:35:11.226
  • Female. my my family was a little split. i had family
  • 00:35:11.226 --> 00:35:15.097
  • Members that treated me differently, but my my parents
  • 00:35:15.097 --> 00:35:18.300
  • Were the only ones who didn't compromise. they, you know,
  • 00:35:18.300 --> 00:35:22.004
  • They were not going to call me jake. they didn't use male
  • 00:35:22.004 --> 00:35:25.507
  • Pronouns. but my i was so angry at them at the time. but i look
  • 00:35:25.507 --> 00:35:29.344
  • Back and i really wasn't angry at them, even though that's
  • 00:35:29.344 --> 00:35:32.281
  • What i said. i was really angry because i knew they were right.
  • 00:35:32.281 --> 00:35:35.417
  • I was angry at the conviction that i couldn't suppress. it's
  • 00:35:35.417 --> 00:35:38.253
  • Like romans one says that we suppress the truth in
  • 00:35:38.253 --> 00:35:40.155
  • Unrighteousness. and that's exactly what i was doing. i
  • 00:35:40.155 --> 00:35:43.592
  • Kept trying to suppress reality, but my parents, in the end,
  • 00:35:43.592 --> 00:35:46.161
  • After all the years of me hating them and telling them
  • 00:35:46.161 --> 00:35:49.531
  • How hateful they were, when i finally got tired of the lies,
  • 00:35:49.531 --> 00:35:53.035
  • They're the ones i turned to.
  • 00:35:53.035 --> 00:35:55.037
  • >> what encouragement and what comfort for parents who are in
  • 00:35:55.037 --> 00:35:58.073
  • That dark valley right now of watching a child. maybe you're
  • 00:35:58.073 --> 00:36:03.178
  • Watching a brother or sister, or a grandchild struggle with
  • 00:36:03.178 --> 00:36:07.082
  • Something that wasn't even a thing when you were a kid,
  • 00:36:07.082 --> 00:36:10.252
  • Right? to know that speaking the truth to them in love over
  • 00:36:10.252 --> 00:36:14.256
  • The long haul is ultimately the thing that provided the the
  • 00:36:14.256 --> 00:36:20.295
  • Refuge for you to run to. when you finally came to a different
  • 00:36:20.295 --> 00:36:24.366
  • Understanding of who god made you to be and who you wanted to
  • 00:36:24.366 --> 00:36:28.303
  • Live as. and that is that is so encouraging, because the
  • 00:36:28.303 --> 00:36:32.140
  • Pressure, of course, is to be affirming is to go along with
  • 00:36:32.140 --> 00:36:35.143
  • It. and i have family members who are in this exact situation
  • 00:36:35.143 --> 00:36:38.547
  • Right now, and it's so difficult because they feel
  • 00:36:38.547 --> 00:36:41.283
  • Like they're going to be a bad parent if they don't go along
  • 00:36:41.283 --> 00:36:44.286
  • With what their child wants.
  • 00:36:44.286 --> 00:36:46.188
  • >> yeah, we have to be like a lighthouse. you know, my
  • 00:36:46.188 --> 00:36:49.258
  • Parents kept continually of course, they they opened the
  • 00:36:49.258 --> 00:36:51.260
  • Door for the relationship. i'd cut them off and i'd come back
  • 00:36:51.260 --> 00:36:55.163
  • And i'd cut them off and i'd come back because i was angry.
  • 00:36:55.163 --> 00:36:58.233
  • But i knew they loved me. they had proven for years that they
  • 00:36:58.233 --> 00:37:01.069
  • Loved me. but i was angry at the truth. i knew they were
  • 00:37:01.069 --> 00:37:04.506
  • Right and they wouldn't shove it down my throat. but if i
  • 00:37:04.506 --> 00:37:07.276
  • Would ask her, i'd say something. they would just hold
  • 00:37:07.276 --> 00:37:10.212
  • The line. but they were like a lighthouse. if a lighthouse
  • 00:37:10.212 --> 00:37:13.415
  • Floats around in the ocean with the boat, the boat will never
  • 00:37:13.415 --> 00:37:16.151
  • Find its way home. but if we remain planted on the solid
  • 00:37:16.151 --> 00:37:18.954
  • Rock. i had another girl just to. and i've heard many other
  • 00:37:18.954 --> 00:37:22.157
  • Stories like this, but one girl in particular. she hadn't
  • 00:37:22.157 --> 00:37:24.326
  • Talked to her dad in seven years because he would not
  • 00:37:24.326 --> 00:37:27.629
  • Affirm her and use the male pronouns and names. he wasn't
  • 00:37:27.629 --> 00:37:30.065
  • Hateful toward her, but he just wouldn't cross that line. and
  • 00:37:30.065 --> 00:37:32.267
  • She said, but god's been working on my heart and he's
  • 00:37:32.267 --> 00:37:35.404
  • Been drawing me. so i called my dad to ask him about jesus.
  • 00:37:35.404 --> 00:37:38.740
  • >> wow. we're going to talk more with laura about how god
  • 00:37:38.740 --> 00:37:41.176
  • Rescued her and about her ministry to those who are
  • 00:37:41.176 --> 00:37:44.146
  • Struggling with gender identity right after the break. so stay
  • 00:37:44.146 --> 00:37:47.149
  • With us. we're back with laura
  • 00:37:47.149 --> 00:37:52.006
  • With us. we're back with laura
  • 00:37:52.006 --> 00:38:01.501
  • Perry smalls, sharing her personal story from her
  • 00:38:02.536 --> 00:38:05.072
  • Autobiography, transgender to transformed laura, we're all
  • 00:38:05.072 --> 00:38:09.242
  • Dying to know how did the lord rescue you from transgenderism?
  • 00:38:09.242 --> 00:38:14.147
  • >> well, and this is the amazing part, because my mom
  • 00:38:14.147 --> 00:38:17.150
  • That i was so angry with and that had this very legalistic
  • 00:38:17.150 --> 00:38:20.454
  • View of god and she was on her own journey. so when i came out
  • 00:38:20.454 --> 00:38:24.458
  • As transgender, i'd finally broke her and she said, god,
  • 00:38:24.458 --> 00:38:27.094
  • I'm so tired of trying so hard, i can't fix this. and she
  • 00:38:27.094 --> 00:38:30.063
  • Realized that she didn't have control like she tried to have
  • 00:38:30.063 --> 00:38:33.266
  • For so long. she kept trying to fix things for god, but when
  • 00:38:33.266 --> 00:38:36.636
  • She recognized she couldn't fix it, she started letting the
  • 00:38:36.636 --> 00:38:39.072
  • Lord fix her and allow the lord to work in her instead of her
  • 00:38:39.072 --> 00:38:42.442
  • Trying to do it all for god. she recognized god wanted to do
  • 00:38:42.442 --> 00:38:46.179
  • It in her. over those years, my mom was so transformed and
  • 00:38:46.179 --> 00:38:49.015
  • That's a lot of what brought me to christ. there were other
  • 00:38:49.015 --> 00:38:52.052
  • Things, so it wasn't like, i mean, the parent is not the
  • 00:38:52.052 --> 00:38:55.522
  • Answer. god can use all kinds of other things. we have to
  • 00:38:55.522 --> 00:38:58.091
  • Recognize that he's the savior. we all want to fix our children.
  • 00:38:58.091 --> 00:39:00.961
  • But he did use her. and what? and it wasn't because she came
  • 00:39:00.961 --> 00:39:04.231
  • Up with some plan as she led the lord to change her. over
  • 00:39:04.231 --> 00:39:07.601
  • Time, i began to see what he was doing in her, and the lord
  • 00:39:07.601 --> 00:39:11.037
  • Really opened my eyes. and when i saw how different my mom was
  • 00:39:11.037 --> 00:39:14.274
  • That she was full of peace, that she was full of faith,
  • 00:39:14.274 --> 00:39:17.277
  • That she was full of joy. and again, i was hearing things
  • 00:39:17.277 --> 00:39:20.213
  • Over the radio. there were a lot of other things, but that
  • 00:39:20.213 --> 00:39:23.450
  • Transformation in her was powerful. i went home and gave
  • 00:39:23.450 --> 00:39:25.318
  • My life to the lord, and i said, lord, i want what my mom has
  • 00:39:25.318 --> 00:39:29.222
  • Because i'd watch my mom be stressed out and angry and all
  • 00:39:29.222 --> 00:39:32.392
  • These things for years trying to fix herself. but i saw the
  • 00:39:32.392 --> 00:39:35.262
  • Transforming power of christ. and so. but then when i got
  • 00:39:35.262 --> 00:39:37.998
  • Saved, i was so transformed. i was like, this is what it's
  • 00:39:37.998 --> 00:39:41.101
  • Like to be born again. i had never known that there would be
  • 00:39:41.101 --> 00:39:44.204
  • A change in me. i was always trying to be good enough for
  • 00:39:44.204 --> 00:39:47.274
  • God, you know, off and on i would have the spiritual roller
  • 00:39:47.274 --> 00:39:50.944
  • Coaster of i didn't want to go to hell. so, okay, this time
  • 00:39:50.944 --> 00:39:54.247
  • I'm going to be good. and this time i'm going to read my bible
  • 00:39:54.247 --> 00:39:57.317
  • And check these things off the list. but it wasn't until i
  • 00:39:57.317 --> 00:40:00.086
  • Really humbled myself i saw what a wretch i was. i was, you
  • 00:40:00.086 --> 00:40:03.390
  • Know, instead of blaming everybody else, i was like, i'm
  • 00:40:03.390 --> 00:40:06.126
  • The sinner, you know? i'm the one. because even though i was
  • 00:40:06.126 --> 00:40:09.663
  • Angry as a child, i responded in bitterness and anger and
  • 00:40:09.663 --> 00:40:12.232
  • Jealousy and i'm all these things. but for about a year
  • 00:40:12.232 --> 00:40:14.167
  • And a half, i wanted to be a man of god. and i was serious.
  • 00:40:14.167 --> 00:40:18.205
  • I was on fire for jesus. i was going out and telling people
  • 00:40:18.205 --> 00:40:21.541
  • About jesus and going out to parks to feed the homeless. and
  • 00:40:21.541 --> 00:40:24.444
  • I'm like, well, you know. but i kept trying to be a man of god.
  • 00:40:24.444 --> 00:40:28.148
  • >> wait, wait, wait. so you come to faith in the lord? yeah.
  • 00:40:28.148 --> 00:40:31.551
  • And you decide that you want to be a man of god. yeah. so that
  • 00:40:31.551 --> 00:40:35.422
  • So the male identity didn't fall away immediately.
  • 00:40:35.422 --> 00:40:37.757
  • >> right. and i've actually heard a lot of stories like
  • 00:40:37.757 --> 00:40:40.160
  • This that the lord reaches them first. now, it's not because
  • 00:40:40.160 --> 00:40:43.330
  • The lord doesn't care about that identity, but often he
  • 00:40:43.330 --> 00:40:46.299
  • Brings us to himself first. and i really was repentant. it's
  • 00:40:46.299 --> 00:40:50.070
  • Not like i was holding out on the lord. i didn't know how to
  • 00:40:50.070 --> 00:40:54.508
  • Fix it. for one, i didn't know what to.
  • 00:40:54.508 --> 00:40:56.943
  • >> do about it. like you had crossed a point of no return.
  • 00:40:56.943 --> 00:41:00.213
  • Exactly. the bridge has been burned, the surgeries have
  • 00:41:00.213 --> 00:41:02.816
  • Happened, and my identity is set right.
  • 00:41:02.816 --> 00:41:04.217
  • >> and even with a lot of people that are homosexual,
  • 00:41:04.217 --> 00:41:07.087
  • They really believe in their mind. it's who they are. it
  • 00:41:07.087 --> 00:41:09.623
  • Takes time for the lord to undo that. and so i but i was really
  • 00:41:09.623 --> 00:41:13.360
  • Convinced that i was just going to be a man of god. and i would
  • 00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:17.197
  • Repent of this over and over. i'd say, okay, god, i know this
  • 00:41:17.197 --> 00:41:20.400
  • Wasn't your will. i know you didn't create me this way, but
  • 00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:23.503
  • I can't go back now. but the lord didn't leave me there, and
  • 00:41:23.503 --> 00:41:27.207
  • He kept drawing me, and he kept drawing me, and he kept
  • 00:41:27.207 --> 00:41:30.010
  • Convicting me. and the funny thing was, i was reading the
  • 00:41:30.010 --> 00:41:32.379
  • Word and listening to either the audio bible, some kind of a
  • 00:41:32.379 --> 00:41:35.215
  • Christian teaching, some all day, every day in my headphones.
  • 00:41:35.215 --> 00:41:38.785
  • And so i was at work and i was being absorbed in the word of
  • 00:41:38.785 --> 00:41:42.188
  • God, and the word of god continually began to change me
  • 00:41:42.188 --> 00:41:45.158
  • And transform me. and it was like romans 12 one and two that
  • 00:41:45.158 --> 00:41:48.395
  • Says, we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. and as
  • 00:41:48.395 --> 00:41:51.598
  • God began to transform me by the word, i began to see that
  • 00:41:51.598 --> 00:41:55.101
  • This was not his will. and so this was a painful process that
  • 00:41:55.101 --> 00:41:58.271
  • I detail more in the book. but i had to learn to deny myself
  • 00:41:58.271 --> 00:42:02.008
  • And take up my cross and follow him, and that i had to lay down
  • 00:42:02.008 --> 00:42:06.279
  • That identity in order to have him. and so that when i walked
  • 00:42:06.279 --> 00:42:10.450
  • Away, though, i thought it was going to, i thought i'd be the
  • 00:42:10.450 --> 00:42:14.621
  • Most miserable person on the planet the rest of my life. i
  • 00:42:14.621 --> 00:42:17.791
  • Could not conceive of how i could like being a female again.
  • 00:42:17.791 --> 00:42:20.160
  • But as i walked away and i just walked away by faith and just
  • 00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:24.331
  • Trusting god with my life, and i began to identify in christ
  • 00:42:24.331 --> 00:42:27.267
  • And not in myself and not in my feelings and my desires. he
  • 00:42:27.267 --> 00:42:31.204
  • Began to heal me as i let go of all the bitterness, i began to
  • 00:42:31.204 --> 00:42:35.308
  • Forgive those who had hurt me. i began to work through some of
  • 00:42:35.308 --> 00:42:38.211
  • The trauma and things that i had been through, and begin to
  • 00:42:38.211 --> 00:42:41.181
  • Let go of all the lies and replace. i began standing on
  • 00:42:41.181 --> 00:42:44.484
  • The word of god. this was important. okay, i feel this,
  • 00:42:44.484 --> 00:42:47.187
  • But this is what the word says. and i begin to really put my
  • 00:42:47.187 --> 00:42:50.924
  • Faith and trust in christ and in his word. and as that
  • 00:42:50.924 --> 00:42:54.327
  • Happened, the lord just began to transform me. and the lord
  • 00:42:54.327 --> 00:42:57.330
  • Began to change my heart. and i began to like being a girl. and
  • 00:42:57.330 --> 00:43:01.134
  • Then i began to really love who he created for the first time
  • 00:43:01.134 --> 00:43:04.170
  • In my life, and when i least expected it, god brought an
  • 00:43:04.170 --> 00:43:07.374
  • Incredible man into my life. and i got married about three
  • 00:43:07.374 --> 00:43:10.176
  • Years ago, and the lord has just done far beyond what i
  • 00:43:10.176 --> 00:43:13.713
  • Ever imagined. i knew that i could, that if i obeyed god
  • 00:43:13.713 --> 00:43:18.184
  • That it would be okay. one day in heaven, i knew that i'd have
  • 00:43:18.184 --> 00:43:22.222
  • A new body. i'd have no longer have a sin nature. but that was
  • 00:43:22.222 --> 00:43:25.892
  • The first time when i realized the transforming power of god
  • 00:43:25.892 --> 00:43:28.361
  • That he could totally change me.
  • 00:43:28.361 --> 00:43:31.197
  • >> this story is just truly miraculous. it is so wonderful.
  • 00:43:31.197 --> 00:43:35.735
  • It is. it's just everybody needs to read about your story
  • 00:43:35.735 --> 00:43:40.407
  • And hear all about your ministry, which we're going to
  • 00:43:40.407 --> 00:43:43.476
  • Talk more about in a bit. transgender to transformed.
  • 00:43:43.476 --> 00:43:45.945
  • Laura, what do you think is at the root of the cause of
  • 00:43:45.945 --> 00:43:51.151
  • Transgenderism?
  • 00:43:51.151 --> 00:43:52.385
  • >> there's different situations, but at the root, if you get
  • 00:43:52.385 --> 00:43:56.122
  • Underneath the surface, i find there's always elements of
  • 00:43:56.122 --> 00:43:59.092
  • People don't like themselves, they're broken and they don't
  • 00:43:59.092 --> 00:44:02.862
  • Know why people, if they don't really understand the impact of
  • 00:44:02.862 --> 00:44:06.966
  • What happened in the garden of eden and how all of creation
  • 00:44:06.966 --> 00:44:10.336
  • Came under the curse of sin and how much sin, i don't think we
  • 00:44:10.336 --> 00:44:14.274
  • Realize how much sin really affects us, and what the damage
  • 00:44:14.274 --> 00:44:16.309
  • It does to our lives. both the sin that we have that's been
  • 00:44:16.309 --> 00:44:20.346
  • Committed against us, and the sin that we respond in and
  • 00:44:20.346 --> 00:44:24.217
  • Underneath all of it, is a lot of not liking who they are. a
  • 00:44:24.217 --> 00:44:28.722
  • Lot of jealousy, a lot of bitterness, a lot of envy of
  • 00:44:28.722 --> 00:44:31.691
  • Others wishing they were like somebody else. and it's really
  • 00:44:31.691 --> 00:44:34.994
  • An attempt to fix their own brokenness. it's the same
  • 00:44:34.994 --> 00:44:38.698
  • Reason that people get into drugs, alcohol, gangs, you know,
  • 00:44:38.698 --> 00:44:41.267
  • Whatever. it's i don't like my life. there's something broken,
  • 00:44:41.267 --> 00:44:45.205
  • And they're trying to either fix it or suppress the pain.
  • 00:44:45.205 --> 00:44:48.141
  • >> this is so helpful for us who who are feeling like we're
  • 00:44:48.141 --> 00:44:52.378
  • On the outside trying to look through a window to gain a
  • 00:44:52.378 --> 00:44:55.715
  • Glimpse of what our loved ones might be going through. so when
  • 00:44:55.715 --> 00:44:58.284
  • You hear that someone is considering or is in the middle
  • 00:44:58.284 --> 00:45:01.654
  • Of transitioning, what are the thoughts that go through you on
  • 00:45:01.654 --> 00:45:05.258
  • The inside?
  • 00:45:05.258 --> 00:45:06.459
  • >> well, first of all, my heart breaks for them because i know
  • 00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:09.629
  • That there's a lot of self-hatred when somebody wants
  • 00:45:09.629 --> 00:45:11.965
  • To completely change who they are and be the opposite of who
  • 00:45:11.965 --> 00:45:17.170
  • They are, it's out of a deep self-hatred. i know there's a
  • 00:45:17.170 --> 00:45:20.206
  • Lot of pain there, and it makes me want to, first of all, pray
  • 00:45:20.206 --> 00:45:23.409
  • For them. that's so important. we underestimate the power of
  • 00:45:23.409 --> 00:45:26.179
  • Prayer sometimes. ask the lord for a conversation. if you're
  • 00:45:26.179 --> 00:45:29.215
  • Able to ask the lord to open that door and ask him to give
  • 00:45:29.215 --> 00:45:33.686
  • You wisdom, everybody. one thing that i learned i've
  • 00:45:33.686 --> 00:45:35.955
  • Watched hundreds of testimonies over the years. one thing i
  • 00:45:35.955 --> 00:45:39.092
  • Learned is that the way that god brought them to know him is
  • 00:45:39.092 --> 00:45:42.128
  • An individual and unique personal journey. and there was
  • 00:45:42.128 --> 00:45:45.131
  • Not one way that was alike. and so i asked the lord for wisdom
  • 00:45:45.131 --> 00:45:48.668
  • How do i reach this person? what do they need to hear? and
  • 00:45:48.668 --> 00:45:51.271
  • I find that a lot of times what what i really needed and what a
  • 00:45:51.271 --> 00:45:55.341
  • Lot of them needed was to hear the goodness of god in our life,
  • 00:45:55.341 --> 00:45:59.245
  • How he's overcome the pain and the brokenness in our life, how
  • 00:45:59.245 --> 00:46:02.148
  • He's been good to us in the midst of suffering. and even
  • 00:46:02.148 --> 00:46:05.151
  • Though we've all had trauma and things in our life, it looks
  • 00:46:05.151 --> 00:46:08.354
  • Different for different people. but people need to hear that
  • 00:46:08.354 --> 00:46:12.292
  • God is good in spite of the brokenness that he can redeem
  • 00:46:12.292 --> 00:46:15.461
  • And restore and transform.
  • 00:46:15.461 --> 00:46:17.197
  • >> tell us all about your ministry.
  • 00:46:17.197 --> 00:46:19.365
  • >> the ministry is called eden's redemption, and my my
  • 00:46:19.365 --> 00:46:23.236
  • Husband and i started this ministry about a little under
  • 00:46:23.236 --> 00:46:27.040
  • Two years ago. and our goal really is to teach and equip
  • 00:46:27.040 --> 00:46:32.178
  • The church primarily on how to reach the lgbt, how to love the
  • 00:46:32.178 --> 00:46:35.982
  • Lgbt, how to understand gender confusion from a biblical
  • 00:46:35.982 --> 00:46:40.520
  • Perspective, and of course, reaching out to the lgbt as
  • 00:46:40.520 --> 00:46:43.489
  • Well. and i'm really excited. for years god has had me
  • 00:46:43.489 --> 00:46:47.327
  • Primarily in the church, but i'm really been i've really
  • 00:46:47.327 --> 00:46:49.762
  • Been praying to reach these young people. and just recently,
  • 00:46:49.762 --> 00:46:53.199
  • I found out that i'm going to have some opportunities to go
  • 00:46:53.199 --> 00:46:56.636
  • And speak in some public schools. now, the schools
  • 00:46:56.636 --> 00:46:58.705
  • Themselves won't let me come, but i can be a guest of like
  • 00:46:58.705 --> 00:47:02.375
  • The christian clubs to go and proclaim the gospel to these
  • 00:47:02.375 --> 00:47:06.479
  • Young kids.
  • 00:47:06.479 --> 00:47:07.680
  • >> what words of encouragement can you give to a parent who is
  • 00:47:07.780 --> 00:47:12.352
  • Watching their child struggle with their gender identity?
  • 00:47:12.352 --> 00:47:15.188
  • >> best thing to to tell a parent is, first of all, like
  • 00:47:15.188 --> 00:47:19.359
  • My mom figured out, we and we helped lots of parents and if
  • 00:47:19.359 --> 00:47:22.195
  • You are struggling, we would be glad for you to call our
  • 00:47:22.195 --> 00:47:25.531
  • Ministry. you can go to eden's redemption org. reach out to us.
  • 00:47:25.531 --> 00:47:28.501
  • We have a parents group. we have some resources, different
  • 00:47:28.501 --> 00:47:31.437
  • Things we can get you connected with. but the most important
  • 00:47:31.437 --> 00:47:34.374
  • Thing is to allow the lord to work on you. allow the lord to
  • 00:47:34.374 --> 00:47:38.678
  • Change your heart and to transform you. no matter where
  • 00:47:38.678 --> 00:47:40.346
  • We're at in our journey with the lord, we all are still his
  • 00:47:40.346 --> 00:47:44.317
  • Children. we all are learning. we're all growing. but the
  • 00:47:44.317 --> 00:47:47.186
  • Change in my mom is a lot of what brought me to christ. and
  • 00:47:47.186 --> 00:47:50.323
  • I've seen it with other parents too. and just allowing the lord
  • 00:47:50.323 --> 00:47:54.294
  • To change us. and he will give you wisdom for this journey. we
  • 00:47:54.294 --> 00:47:57.196
  • Have to continually point them to the lord. one mistake i
  • 00:47:57.196 --> 00:48:00.199
  • Think parents make sometimes is always pointing them to us as
  • 00:48:00.199 --> 00:48:03.169
  • Their savior, and the one who's going to fix everything, but
  • 00:48:03.169 --> 00:48:06.339
  • We're not their savior. we need to continually point them to
  • 00:48:06.339 --> 00:48:08.341
  • The lord. so when they have a problem in life, instead of
  • 00:48:08.341 --> 00:48:11.611
  • Trying to solve it immediately say, honey, let's pray about
  • 00:48:11.611 --> 00:48:14.213
  • This. let's go to the lord. let's see what the lord wants
  • 00:48:14.213 --> 00:48:17.150
  • And get his plan and his will.
  • 00:48:17.150 --> 00:48:19.385
  • >> that's right. we make terrible saviors as parents. we
  • 00:48:19.385 --> 00:48:21.554
  • Want to save them from everything. yeah, but that's
  • 00:48:21.554 --> 00:48:24.190
  • Not how it works, right? someone may be watching us
  • 00:48:24.190 --> 00:48:27.360
  • Right now who has been sent a link to this interview and
  • 00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:31.130
  • Hearing your story, and they may be struggling with their
  • 00:48:31.130 --> 00:48:36.803
  • Gender identity. they may be wondering if this might be a
  • 00:48:36.803 --> 00:48:40.340
  • Good idea for them to transition, or someone might be
  • 00:48:40.340 --> 00:48:43.309
  • In the middle of it right now saying, i'm perfectly happy
  • 00:48:43.309 --> 00:48:46.479
  • This way. yeah, who is this crazy lady? and then there are
  • 00:48:46.479 --> 00:48:50.249
  • Others who are saying, i just feel like there's no hope for
  • 00:48:50.249 --> 00:48:53.119
  • Me. they might be watching right over there. could you
  • 00:48:53.119 --> 00:48:55.588
  • Just talk to them for a minute? what would you like to say to
  • 00:48:55.588 --> 00:48:59.625
  • Them?
  • 00:48:59.625 --> 00:49:00.693
  • >> yeah, first of all, i. i completely understand what
  • 00:49:00.793 --> 00:49:02.195
  • You're going through. i know the pain of not liking who you
  • 00:49:02.195 --> 00:49:05.031
  • Are. i know the pain of not feeling comfortable in your own
  • 00:49:05.031 --> 00:49:08.267
  • Body. but everything that i have given up for jesus has
  • 00:49:08.267 --> 00:49:10.336
  • Been so worth it. everything you're longing for, to know who
  • 00:49:10.336 --> 00:49:14.007
  • You are and why you were created, and why you're here.
  • 00:49:14.007 --> 00:49:16.409
  • To know that you have a purpose, that you have worth and value
  • 00:49:16.409 --> 00:49:20.079
  • As everything that god wants to give you. the enemy of your
  • 00:49:20.079 --> 00:49:22.949
  • Soul is trying to sell you a counterfeit. but everything
  • 00:49:22.949 --> 00:49:25.418
  • I've given up for the lord, he has given back so much more
  • 00:49:25.418 --> 00:49:28.354
  • Than i have lost, and he has filled me with so much peace
  • 00:49:28.354 --> 00:49:31.991
  • And so much joy. and i know that what i do in this life now
  • 00:49:31.991 --> 00:49:35.762
  • Is for an eternal purpose that will never fade away. and
  • 00:49:35.762 --> 00:49:38.297
  • That's been worth everything.
  • 00:49:38.297 --> 00:49:39.732
  • >> laura, thanks so much.
  • 00:49:39.732 --> 00:49:41.000
  • >> thanks.
  • 00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:42.135
  • >> i appreciate you and your husband. thanks for coming on.
  • 00:49:42.235 --> 00:49:44.604
  • Takeaways.
  • 00:49:44.604 --> 00:49:45.071
  • >> yeah, thank.
  • 00:49:45.071 --> 00:49:45.538
  • >> you so much.
  • 00:49:45.538 --> 00:49:46.672
  • >> after the break, we'll review today's takeaways. i
  • 00:49:46.672 --> 00:49:52.006
  • >> after the break, we'll review today's takeaways. i
  • 00:49:52.006 --> 00:50:00.144
  • Loved today's conversations with doctor jeff myers, doctor
  • 00:50:01.311 --> 00:50:04.381
  • Kathy cook, and laura perry schmaltz. we heard powerful
  • 00:50:04.381 --> 00:50:08.052
  • Testimonies about one of the hardest issues christian
  • 00:50:08.052 --> 00:50:11.255
  • Families face transgenderism. on the surface, it looks a lot
  • 00:50:11.255 --> 00:50:16.326
  • Like a battle of flesh and blood, but it's really a
  • 00:50:16.326 --> 00:50:19.163
  • Spiritual fight for truth. our guest showed us how to stand
  • 00:50:19.163 --> 00:50:23.267
  • Firm with both compassion and conviction. let's review our
  • 00:50:23.267 --> 00:50:27.871
  • Takeaways. gender confidence is confidence in god. doctors jeff
  • 00:50:27.871 --> 00:50:33.377
  • Myers and kathy cook reminded us that confidence in our god
  • 00:50:33.377 --> 00:50:38.248
  • Given gender is a bold declaration that our creator is
  • 00:50:38.248 --> 00:50:42.853
  • Good, wise, and intentional. as doctor myers explained, secular
  • 00:50:42.853 --> 00:50:48.559
  • Gender ideology seeks to erase god's design. that's why
  • 00:50:48.559 --> 00:50:52.930
  • Joyfully embracing how he made us, male or female, is an act
  • 00:50:52.930 --> 00:50:58.802
  • Of worship and obedience. like psalm 139, verse 14 says, i
  • 00:50:58.802 --> 00:51:04.108
  • Praise you, for i am fearfully and wonderfully made. this week,
  • 00:51:04.108 --> 00:51:09.146
  • Talk in your home about the goodness and wisdom of god.
  • 00:51:09.146 --> 00:51:14.184
  • Engage with your son or daughter in a culture spinning
  • 00:51:14.184 --> 00:51:17.254
  • With lies and fear. parents must be calm, anchors of truth.
  • 00:51:17.254 --> 00:51:22.893
  • Doctor cook's challenge to be available is critical. when
  • 00:51:22.893 --> 00:51:27.264
  • Your child struggles, don't panic. be present. just listen.
  • 00:51:27.264 --> 00:51:33.270
  • Ask questions and model the peace of your heavenly father.
  • 00:51:33.270 --> 00:51:38.075
  • Create an atmosphere where truth can be spoken without
  • 00:51:38.075 --> 00:51:42.346
  • Fear. be a lighthouse. laura perry schmaltz described her
  • 00:51:42.346 --> 00:51:48.385
  • Parents as a lighthouse, meaning they never compromised
  • 00:51:48.385 --> 00:51:52.189
  • Or used her new name. though she was angry about it, she
  • 00:51:52.189 --> 00:51:56.627
  • Knew that they stood on the solid rock of truth. their
  • 00:51:56.627 --> 00:52:02.332
  • Unfailing love guided her back to the ultimate truth. when her
  • 00:52:02.332 --> 00:52:07.905
  • Life collapsed. let god transform you first. a turning
  • 00:52:07.905 --> 00:52:13.010
  • Point in laura's story was seeing her mom's transformation.
  • 00:52:13.010 --> 00:52:16.446
  • Remember when her mom stopped trying to fix laura and let god
  • 00:52:16.446 --> 00:52:21.084
  • Change her own heart? laura saw the peace and joy and said,
  • 00:52:21.084 --> 00:52:26.123
  • Lord, i want what my mom has. so parents, the best way for us
  • 00:52:26.123 --> 00:52:31.295
  • To lead our kids to christ is to let god work in us first.
  • 00:52:31.295 --> 00:52:38.702
  • That's all for this episode of takeaways. thanks for watching
  • 00:52:38.702 --> 00:52:42.339
  • And if you've enjoyed this show, don't forget to set your dvr so
  • 00:52:42.339 --> 00:52:46.243
  • You never miss an episode. and of course, you can always catch
  • 00:52:46.243 --> 00:52:49.112
  • Up on past episodes by searching for takeaways on tv.
  • 00:52:49.112 --> 00:52:53.450
  • Or just visit kirk cameron on tv youtube channel. we'll see
  • 00:52:53.450 --> 00:52:57.154
  • You here next time for more great conversations.
  • 00:52:57.154 --> 00:52:57.154