Kirk Cameron is joined by speakers Lysa TerKeurst and Laurie Polich Short sharing how to see God’s work in your life and trusting His guidance through hurts and hardships.
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Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | Lysa TerKeurst & Laurie Polich Short: Learning to Trust After Being Hurt | Takeaways with Kirk Cameron | June 22, 2026
- Kirk cameron: the word trust is often defined as a firm belief
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- In the character of someone, often involving confident
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- Reliance on their integrity.
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- For some people, trusting is very easy, but for others, it's
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- Nearly impossible to take that risk again once their trust has
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- Been betrayed.
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- So, how do you move forward in your life when your trust has
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- Been broken by people you thought you could count on?
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- Today we're going to be talking with lysa terkeurst, addressing
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- The challenges of trust after you've been hurt,
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- And laurie polich short will talk about how
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- Our trust in god can be strengthened when we learn
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- To see him working in the details of our lives.
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- Lysa terkeurst: when you've had your trust broken, the only way
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- That trust can be repaired is time plus believable behavior.
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- Laurie short: god uses everything in our lives, but we
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- Don't love going through everything, but we have to trust
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- That he is in control.
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- Kirk: it's all coming up next on "takeaways."
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- [music]
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- Kirk: it's my pleasure to introduce my first guest today.
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- Popular speaker and "new york times" bestselling author,
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- Lysa terkeurst, is president and the chief visionary officer for
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- Proverbs 31 ministries.
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- She released a book last year that i think is really
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- Important, and we're gonna be discussing it today called
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- "i wanna trust you, but i don't: moving forward when you're
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- Skeptical of others, afraid of what god will allow,
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- And doubtful of your own discernment."
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- Lysa, what a powerful topic, and i'm so thankful you came on
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- "takeaways" to talk about it.
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- Lysa: thank you so much.
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- It's a joy to be here with you.
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- Kirk: you've written so many books about such important
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- Topics, and i can think of people in my life and my family
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- And in my friend circles right now who need to read this book.
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- This issue of trust is so important.
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- People say things like, you know, well, she just has trust
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- Issues, or i have trust issues, and trust is another word
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- For faith.
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- I think of the most important thing in the world is faith in
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- God, and that's our ability to trust him.
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- But how would you define trust?
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- Just, you know, to get us started, what is a
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- Good definition?
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- Lysa: yeah, well, trust is the oxygen of all
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- Human relationships.
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- You starve a relationship of trust, and you will starve that
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- Relationship of vibrancy.
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- Potentially you'll starve it to death.
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- So, trust is where i believe that you have my best interest
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- In mind, and you actually do have my best interest in mind.
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- And then you believe that i have your best interest in mind.
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- And it's that give and take in a relationship, but at the end of
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- The day, there has to be safety.
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- Safety is really a crucial component of trust.
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- And so the two components of trust are safety and connection.
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- Now, the problem is sometimes people will prioritize safety so
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- High after they've gotten their heart broken or their trust
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- Broken, they'll prioritize safety so high that they
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- Diminish connection in all of their relationships.
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- Or sometimes people are so desperate for connection that
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- They overlook all the red flags, and they diminish their own need
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- For safety.
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- So the goal is to bring those back in balance and have
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- Safe connections.
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- Kirk: hmm, wow, that was kind of masterful what you did right
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- There, and one of the things that i have learned after being
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- Married for 35 years is that word safety.
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- You know, i think for guys, we often think of physical safety.
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- I'm gonna keep my wife safe, right?
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- And so it's like i got a gun in the closet, and i got my dog
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- Who's--when i'm not home, right?
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- Like safety.
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- I'm not always thinking of emotional safety, but my
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- Wife is.
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- And so when you say trust and that safety and connection, i
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- Mean, that all really, really makes sense.
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- And the truth is i think that it applies to guys, too, because i
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- Know people who have a very difficult time trusting women
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- Who have betrayed them in the past.
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- And so it actually is applicable to everybody.
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- Now, in your book you say that you don't like the phrase
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- Trust issues.
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- I have trust issues, he has trust issues, why not?
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- Lysa: well, i think sometimes that can become a label that
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- People own, and then they just go, okay, well, i'm just
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- Accepting this about myself, and then they short circuit the
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- Ability to work that out.
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- And look, what we don't work out, we will eventually act out.
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- So it's absolutely crucial in relationships to make sure that
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- We don't just lean back and go i have trust issues, but rather we
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- Step in and think, okay, acknowledge it, but now what do
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- I do about it?
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- And i think one crucial point in the book that i think is really
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- Important is when you've had your trust broken, the only way
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- That trust can be repaired is time plus believable behavior.
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- In other words, the person that broke your trust, if they want
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- To repair, and they want to reconcile in a relationship, the
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- Process can never be rushed.
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- Trust is broken in an instant, but trust has to be repaired
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- Over a long period of time, and during the course of that time,
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- They have to demonstrate believable trustworthy behavior
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- In order for trust to be repaired in the relationship.
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- And sometimes it can be repaired, and sometimes
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- It can't.
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- But here's a real danger sign.
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- If you're in a relationship and someone says that they want to
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- Repair the relationship, they want to repair the trust, for
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- Every rip, there has to be a repair.
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- So this is gonna be a long process.
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- You know, each time that they ripped that trust or they broke
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- That trust, that has to be repaired.
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- And it's gonna take time plus believable behavior over that
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- Long stretch.
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- And here's the problem, though, if the person who is really
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- Trying to establish that they are trustworthy, if they start
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- To try to rush the process, and the person who got hurt gets
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- Triggered in pain, this is a real danger.
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- So, if i get triggered in pain, you're trying to rush the
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- Process, and i start getting upset and worried and fearful,
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- And you say haven't you gotten over this?
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- I mean, this is ridiculous.
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- Like, this is really--like, this happened a long time ago,
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- And we're still bringing this up?
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- So that's a real danger point.
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- That's not gonna build trust in my heart.
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- But if you were to say to me, of course you're triggered in
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- That pain.
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- Of course, now what do you need?
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- Do you need us to talk about it?
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- Do you need to see my phone?
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- Do you need to see my computer?
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- Like, it makes perfect sense why you're worried right now.
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- And if that's your response when we're trying to rebuild trust,
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- Then that goes a long way of making me feel safe again.
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- And remember, trust, the things that are necessary, safety
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- And connection.
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- Kirk: man, man, man, that is so good, and all of that is here to
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- Read, to underline, to dog ear, and to highlight.
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- This is so important, because i know that i have done that.
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- I think in my mind i wanna be like that was in the past, i
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- Have owned that, and i have confessed it to you and to god.
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- Are we still dealing with that?
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- Do we want to just live in the past?
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- And that's me rushing.
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- Lysa: oh yeah, absolutely.
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- Well, here's what you have to remember, every hurt or every
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- Trauma is two parts.
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- It's fact and impact.
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- So you've dealt with the fact of what happened, but you have to
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- Remember the impact.
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- There was a cost to the person who got hurt, and the triggers
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- That they have in pain, like they'll see--like, i remember
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- One time, you know, after my first marriage ended in a very
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- Tragic, unwanted divorce, i didn't want to be in a
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- Relationship for a very long time.
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- Eventually i meet someone, fall in love, and one day he was
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- Going out of town, and he just wheeled his suitcase away
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- Quickly, and i got so overwhelmed with pain.
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- And it's not because he did anything wrong, it's because in
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- My first marriage, him turning and wheeling the suitcase away
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- Meant that he was going, and he was gonna get in trouble, like
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- He was being unfaithful.
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- And so totally different person, totally different scenario, but
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- The principle still applies.
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- Kirk: it makes total sense why you--
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- Lysa: exactly, it was just too close to what had
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- Happened before.
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- And so i knew that i could trust who is now my husband, his name
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- Is chaz, when he said, "it makes perfect sense to me why that
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- Bothered you.
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- Now, what do you need?"
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- And that built so much safety in my heart.
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- So, i just think it's important.
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- In the book we have--i have a whole list of ways that trust
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- Needs to be repaired.
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- And so i encourage people, if you've had your trust broken,
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- And you're both willing to work on the relationship, go through
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- The book together and go through those stages of repair, and it
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- Will make a huge difference.
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- Kirk: now, you also did some fascinating research on lying
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- And how these statistics have opened your eyes to better
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- Understand why we struggle so much with trusting people.
- 00:09:19.749 --> 00:09:23.352
- Unpack that for us.
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- Lysa: that's right, okay, so the statistic is on an average day,
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- A man lies about six times a day and a woman lies about three or
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- Four times a day.
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- So that's a lot of lies.
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- And i remember thinking that's just not true.
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- Like, i'm a very truthful person.
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- But it's these little compromises, and sometimes we do
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- It to try to protect someone, like, you know, do you like what
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- I'm wearing?
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- And then just to be kind, we'll say yes.
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- So, you know, and that's not exactly true, you know?
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- But so sometimes these are like necessary stretches of truth so
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- You don't hurt someone else's feelings.
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- But if we really get honest with ourselves, it is something that
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- We do to protect ourselves.
- 00:10:05.795 --> 00:10:07.430
- We just shift the truth a little bit to make ourselves look
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- Better, to make ourselves appear more responsible, to make
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- Ourselves, you know, appear more godly, whatever it is.
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- So i do think we have to be very committed to the truth.
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- In the bible, the word for trustworthy is batah,
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- B-a-t-a-h, interesting.
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- When it is directed toward god, it's always in a positive sense,
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- But when the word batah is directed to humans, it's almost
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- Always in a negative sense.
- 00:10:34.924 --> 00:10:37.059
- So i think that's fascinating, and it's not at all that we
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- Shouldn't trust other people at all.
- 00:10:40.362 --> 00:10:42.665
- You know, we don't want to withdraw and isolate.
- 00:10:42.665 --> 00:10:45.234
- But it is something where we have to recognize that all
- 00:10:45.234 --> 00:10:49.171
- Relationships are risky.
- 00:10:49.171 --> 00:10:50.806
- All relationships, we're eventually gonna have our trust
- 00:10:50.806 --> 00:10:53.676
- Broken in small ways, sometimes big ways, so it is crucial that
- 00:10:53.676 --> 00:10:58.314
- We learn these principles of trust repair and that we work
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- On them.
- 00:11:02.485 --> 00:11:03.853
- And so that's why i did a lot of work to help not just help
- 00:11:03.853 --> 00:11:08.457
- Repair the big trust issues but the everyday issues.
- 00:11:08.457 --> 00:11:13.863
- You know, and trust can be broken, like if you tell your
- 00:11:13.863 --> 00:11:16.332
- Wife that you're going to pick something up at the grocery
- 00:11:16.332 --> 00:11:18.334
- Store on your way home, and you show up with nothing, that's not
- 00:11:18.334 --> 00:11:21.604
- An integrity issue, but it is a responsibility issue, and
- 00:11:21.604 --> 00:11:26.075
- Irresponsibility over a stretch of time can become a major
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- Trust issue.
- 00:11:29.912 --> 00:11:31.247
- Kirk: yeah, yeah, that makes so much sense.
- 00:11:31.247 --> 00:11:34.583
- Why do you think it is that when our trust has been broken, we
- 00:11:34.583 --> 00:11:39.889
- Are so tempted to replace trust repair with control.
- 00:11:39.889 --> 00:11:47.163
- I'm just going to make sure this doesn't happen again.
- 00:11:47.163 --> 00:11:50.199
- Lysa: yes, well, that's so interesting, because my next
- 00:11:50.199 --> 00:11:52.735
- Book is on control, making peace with what i can't control.
- 00:11:52.735 --> 00:11:56.572
- I think here's the deal.
- 00:11:56.572 --> 00:11:58.474
- Control is really fear disguised as strength.
- 00:11:58.474 --> 00:12:04.180
- We wanna appear strong, but we feel afraid of the choices that
- 00:12:04.180 --> 00:12:08.284
- Other people are making, and so we compensate that fear by
- 00:12:08.284 --> 00:12:12.621
- Trying to control.
- 00:12:12.621 --> 00:12:14.056
- And here's the truth, sometimes we get into control situations
- 00:12:14.056 --> 00:12:19.061
- Because we need the other person to be okay so we can feel okay.
- 00:12:19.061 --> 00:12:22.798
- And here's how we know that we've crossed over from being
- 00:12:22.798 --> 00:12:26.035
- Just a good person in that relationship and being
- 00:12:26.035 --> 00:12:29.505
- Responsible to help the other person to trying to control that
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- Person because we're afraid of what the consequences might be
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- Of their choices.
- 00:12:36.645 --> 00:12:38.013
- And here's how we know.
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- I need you to be okay so i can be okay, so how can i make
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- You okay?
- 00:12:43.085 --> 00:12:44.420
- Because i wanna feel okay, okay?
- 00:12:44.420 --> 00:12:46.355
- And so that's where we're stepping from being a
- 00:12:46.355 --> 00:12:49.925
- Responsible helper in a relationship to stepping over to
- 00:12:49.925 --> 00:12:53.829
- I have to control, and the mantra of being a good,
- 00:12:53.829 --> 00:12:57.533
- Responsible person in a relationship is i will manage
- 00:12:57.533 --> 00:13:02.738
- Only what is within my ability to manage, and i will trust god
- 00:13:02.738 --> 00:13:05.708
- With the outcome.
- 00:13:05.708 --> 00:13:07.042
- If you stepped over in control, that's not the mantra at all.
- 00:13:07.042 --> 00:13:10.246
- The mantra is i'm only willing to accept the outcome that i
- 00:13:10.246 --> 00:13:15.150
- Want, therefore i will only trust myself.
- 00:13:15.150 --> 00:13:18.921
- Kirk: hmm, i wanna unpack this and and so much more.
- 00:13:18.921 --> 00:13:22.658
- We're gonna be back to talk with lysa about how to move forward
- 00:13:22.658 --> 00:13:26.061
- After being hurt.
- 00:13:26.061 --> 00:13:27.596
- And then later in the program, laurie polich short will share
- 00:13:27.596 --> 00:13:30.933
- Ways on how to see god working in every aspect of your life, so
- 00:13:30.933 --> 00:13:34.837
- Don't go away.
- 00:13:34.837 --> 00:13:36.171
- Laurie: and i always say if you're in a hard, dark place,
- 00:13:36.171 --> 00:13:38.374
- That is not the end of your story.
- 00:13:38.374 --> 00:13:40.342
- If you got up this morning, and you're still breathing, god is
- 00:13:40.342 --> 00:13:43.579
- Still at work in this.
- 00:13:43.579 --> 00:13:46.115
- [music]
- 00:13:46.115 --> 00:13:51.003
- [music]
- 00:13:51.003 --> 00:13:52.088
- [music]
- 00:13:52.422 --> 00:13:56.459
- Kirk: speaker and author lysa terkeurst is with us today
- 00:13:58.261 --> 00:14:01.231
- Discussing how to heal and press on after experiencing betrayal
- 00:14:01.231 --> 00:14:06.102
- In hurtful relationships.
- 00:14:06.102 --> 00:14:07.837
- Lysa, this is all so important.
- 00:14:07.837 --> 00:14:09.906
- People's minds are being blown right now, and i'm so excited
- 00:14:09.906 --> 00:14:13.009
- For them to get this book and to give it out as gifts.
- 00:14:13.009 --> 00:14:16.646
- Next question for you, you have a chapter where you talk about
- 00:14:16.646 --> 00:14:20.917
- The difficulty in trusting god after you've been hurt and
- 00:14:20.917 --> 00:14:23.987
- Betrayed when you recognize that this happened on his watch.
- 00:14:23.987 --> 00:14:27.891
- Lysa: that's right.
- 00:14:27.891 --> 00:14:29.225
- Kirk: god, i'm not sure i'm okay with what you allow in your
- 00:14:29.225 --> 00:14:33.296
- Version of caring for me.
- 00:14:33.296 --> 00:14:35.265
- Lysa: yes, and i wrestled through this so much, because my
- 00:14:35.265 --> 00:14:39.636
- Ex-husband, when we were still married, he was living a double
- 00:14:39.636 --> 00:14:43.773
- Life, and i had no idea, and by the time that i found out what
- 00:14:43.773 --> 00:14:49.079
- Was happening, it was a very serious situation, and i
- 00:14:49.079 --> 00:14:54.117
- Remember feeling betrayed by my husband for sure, and i felt
- 00:14:54.117 --> 00:14:57.754
- Betrayed by some of the people that were supporting him and not
- 00:14:57.754 --> 00:15:01.124
- Supporting me, but at the end of the day, when i would get really
- 00:15:01.124 --> 00:15:04.394
- Quiet and lay in my bed, if i was super-honest, i felt
- 00:15:04.394 --> 00:15:07.597
- Betrayed by god, because i knew he saw what was happening, and
- 00:15:07.597 --> 00:15:11.701
- He didn't stop it, and that caused me so much confusion and
- 00:15:11.701 --> 00:15:15.772
- So much angst.
- 00:15:15.772 --> 00:15:17.140
- And i think it's appropriate to wrestle through those kinds of
- 00:15:17.140 --> 00:15:20.744
- Situations with god.
- 00:15:20.744 --> 00:15:22.178
- And here's where we get in trouble, or here's where i get
- 00:15:22.178 --> 00:15:25.215
- In trouble.
- 00:15:25.215 --> 00:15:26.583
- I won't put this on you, but here's where i get in trouble.
- 00:15:26.583 --> 00:15:29.052
- Sometimes when things happen, i wanna assume that i know what a
- 00:15:29.052 --> 00:15:34.657
- Good god should do, and so i have a whole script, a whole
- 00:15:34.657 --> 00:15:38.028
- Narrative of what i think a good god should do, and i try to put
- 00:15:38.028 --> 00:15:42.065
- Human reasoning, human limited perspective onto what god has
- 00:15:42.065 --> 00:15:47.103
- Allowed, and it just won't work.
- 00:15:47.103 --> 00:15:49.939
- Because the reality is i know god loves me, and so i don't
- 00:15:49.939 --> 00:15:54.244
- Understand what he allowed, but i have to wake up every day and
- 00:15:54.244 --> 00:15:58.248
- Filter what i'm experiencing through this reality.
- 00:15:58.248 --> 00:16:01.751
- God is good, god is good to me, and god is good at being god,
- 00:16:01.751 --> 00:16:06.423
- And i don't understand it, and i don't like it, but chasing the
- 00:16:06.423 --> 00:16:10.160
- Answers to why god allowed this to happen will never ease the
- 00:16:10.160 --> 00:16:14.431
- Ache of hurt in my heart.
- 00:16:14.431 --> 00:16:17.100
- So, one of my favorite places to turn to in scripture is mark
- 00:16:17.100 --> 00:16:20.437
- Chapter 14, starting in verse 32, when jesus is about to go to
- 00:16:20.437 --> 00:16:24.674
- The cross in the garden of gethsemane.
- 00:16:24.674 --> 00:16:26.843
- Jesus, fully man, fully god, and so he knows everything, he has
- 00:16:26.843 --> 00:16:31.514
- The answer to every question, and do you know what he prays
- 00:16:31.514 --> 00:16:34.684
- When he's in that garden of gethsemane?
- 00:16:34.684 --> 00:16:36.653
- "my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death."
- 00:16:36.653 --> 00:16:40.890
- You see, jesus had the answer to every question.
- 00:16:40.890 --> 00:16:43.560
- Having the answers of why this happened didn't ease the ache of
- 00:16:43.560 --> 00:16:47.363
- His sorrow.
- 00:16:47.363 --> 00:16:48.698
- And so we can chase questioning god, we can chase trying to
- 00:16:48.698 --> 00:16:52.402
- Figure it all out, we can spend long seasons of time being angry
- 00:16:52.402 --> 00:16:56.673
- At god, but the reality is none of those answers are gonna ease
- 00:16:56.673 --> 00:17:00.276
- The ache of our sorrow either.
- 00:17:00.276 --> 00:17:02.612
- And so that, to me, has been my journey with the lord.
- 00:17:02.612 --> 00:17:07.584
- Romans 8:28, which is what we quote a lot, you know, that god
- 00:17:07.584 --> 00:17:12.255
- Can work good, like work for the good, and he will do good even
- 00:17:12.255 --> 00:17:17.794
- When hard things happen to us.
- 00:17:17.794 --> 00:17:19.262
- But we can't divorce romans 8:29.
- 00:17:19.262 --> 00:17:23.233
- The good that god promises us is not often what we dream up in
- 00:17:23.233 --> 00:17:28.471
- Our mind.
- 00:17:28.471 --> 00:17:29.806
- The good, as romans 8:29 says, is to be conformed in the
- 00:17:29.806 --> 00:17:33.343
- Likeness and image of his son.
- 00:17:33.343 --> 00:17:36.913
- That's the good that god will work in the midst of
- 00:17:36.913 --> 00:17:39.549
- Any heartbreak.
- 00:17:39.549 --> 00:17:41.184
- And so i know that the more i'm conformed to the likeness and
- 00:17:41.184 --> 00:17:45.188
- The image of god's son, the better i can weather getting my
- 00:17:45.188 --> 00:17:48.191
- Trust broken.
- 00:17:48.191 --> 00:17:49.692
- Kirk: lysa, you have a chapter in your book where you offer a
- 00:17:49.692 --> 00:17:52.228
- List of very helpful relationship red flags.
- 00:17:52.228 --> 00:17:57.066
- This is really important to me on a number of levels, and one
- 00:17:57.066 --> 00:18:00.403
- Of them is, you know, if you're already in a relationship where
- 00:18:00.403 --> 00:18:04.440
- You have been hurt and betrayed, how am i going to deal
- 00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:06.609
- With that?
- 00:18:06.609 --> 00:18:07.944
- Maybe it's a marriage relationship, and i'm in it for
- 00:18:07.944 --> 00:18:09.913
- The long haul, unless there's extenuating circumstances like
- 00:18:09.913 --> 00:18:14.484
- You had experienced.
- 00:18:14.484 --> 00:18:15.985
- But for others, they're like wait a minute, i'm not locked
- 00:18:15.985 --> 00:18:18.755
- In yet.
- 00:18:18.755 --> 00:18:20.089
- What are the red flags?
- 00:18:20.089 --> 00:18:21.457
- What should i be looking for?
- 00:18:21.457 --> 00:18:22.792
- Lysa: yeah, well, again, remember, is that person seeking
- 00:18:22.792 --> 00:18:26.196
- Your highest good?
- 00:18:26.196 --> 00:18:28.264
- And are you seeking that person's highest good?
- 00:18:28.264 --> 00:18:31.201
- And if the answer to that is that you are in love with
- 00:18:31.201 --> 00:18:35.205
- Potential rather than reality, that in and of itself shows me
- 00:18:35.205 --> 00:18:39.542
- You're probably overlooking some really important red flags
- 00:18:39.542 --> 00:18:42.912
- Right now.
- 00:18:42.912 --> 00:18:44.280
- And this is the most important thing that we have to remember,
- 00:18:44.280 --> 00:18:48.184
- Red flags will turn into roots of distrust in a relationship,
- 00:18:48.184 --> 00:18:53.423
- And you know that trust is built, time plus believable
- 00:18:53.423 --> 00:18:57.393
- Behavior, and trust is the oxygen of all relationships.
- 00:18:57.393 --> 00:19:00.930
- So if there is behavior that is lying or omitting the truth, if
- 00:19:00.930 --> 00:19:07.737
- There are things that you think, huh, i really wish they wouldn't
- 00:19:07.737 --> 00:19:11.174
- Do that, but i think i can fix them.
- 00:19:11.174 --> 00:19:14.844
- Any concept like that, i think if--maybe that's happening
- 00:19:14.844 --> 00:19:18.881
- Because we're dating, if we only get married, then that will
- 00:19:18.881 --> 00:19:21.284
- Get better.
- 00:19:21.284 --> 00:19:22.652
- No, no, no, and no.
- 00:19:22.652 --> 00:19:24.787
- You've got to talk through those red flags, and for me, i had to
- 00:19:24.787 --> 00:19:28.758
- Train myself to actually call a red flag red, because sometimes
- 00:19:28.758 --> 00:19:32.729
- These red flags would appear, and i'm so kind, and i'm such an
- 00:19:32.729 --> 00:19:36.165
- Empath that the red flag would have to be literally burned down
- 00:19:36.165 --> 00:19:39.702
- To a crisp on the ground before i go, oh, that was kind of red,
- 00:19:39.702 --> 00:19:43.039
- Wasn't it?
- 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:44.374
- No, we've got to take a step back, and we've got to recognize
- 00:19:44.374 --> 00:19:46.909
- Red flags will become roots of distrust in the relationship as
- 00:19:46.909 --> 00:19:51.748
- It plays out over time.
- 00:19:51.748 --> 00:19:53.383
- So it's important that we talk about those, and if we can't see
- 00:19:53.383 --> 00:19:56.286
- Them, but other people can see them, we need to listen to
- 00:19:56.286 --> 00:19:59.455
- Their wisdom.
- 00:19:59.455 --> 00:20:01.057
- Kirk: that's right, lysa, you talk about the difference
- 00:20:01.057 --> 00:20:03.192
- Between blind trust and wise trust.
- 00:20:03.192 --> 00:20:05.728
- Can you unpack that for us?
- 00:20:05.728 --> 00:20:07.497
- Lysa: i think sometimes when christians walk through a
- 00:20:07.497 --> 00:20:11.367
- Forgiveness journey with someone, i think we somehow in
- 00:20:11.367 --> 00:20:16.406
- Our mind think that if we have truly forgiven that person, that
- 00:20:16.406 --> 00:20:19.642
- We automatically trust them, and that's just not true.
- 00:20:19.642 --> 00:20:23.279
- Trust is an absolute opportunity to see if that relationship is
- 00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:30.386
- Gonna be--if it's wise to continue it or not.
- 00:20:30.386 --> 00:20:33.022
- Forgiveness is a command by god, but reconciliation is very
- 00:20:33.022 --> 00:20:37.093
- Dependent on many things, and certainly, if that person
- 00:20:37.093 --> 00:20:40.730
- Continues to break our trust, then we should never give them
- 00:20:40.730 --> 00:20:44.300
- Blind trust.
- 00:20:44.300 --> 00:20:45.635
- We should use wisdom to decide if we should trust them or not.
- 00:20:45.635 --> 00:20:48.805
- And that's, you know, sometimes distrust is the wisest choice to
- 00:20:48.805 --> 00:20:53.276
- Make, and we can fully forgive someone and yet not jump right
- 00:20:53.276 --> 00:20:57.613
- Back into a relationship with them.
- 00:20:57.613 --> 00:20:59.582
- Kirk: that's right, i can give someone my credit card, but when
- 00:20:59.582 --> 00:21:02.685
- They steal money from me, i don't continue to give them my
- 00:21:02.685 --> 00:21:06.189
- Credit card.
- 00:21:06.189 --> 00:21:07.523
- Lysa: that's right.
- 00:21:07.523 --> 00:21:08.891
- Kirk: if they hurt my children, i don't continue to ask them
- 00:21:08.891 --> 00:21:10.493
- To be the babysitter.
- 00:21:10.493 --> 00:21:11.828
- Lysa: that's right.
- 00:21:11.828 --> 00:21:13.162
- Kirk: even though we've forgiven them, even though it's all good
- 00:21:13.162 --> 00:21:14.664
- With god between you and them, if you've come to a place of
- 00:21:14.664 --> 00:21:17.333
- Honesty, humility, and repentance, but that doesn't
- 00:21:17.333 --> 00:21:20.703
- Mean that i need to be your b-f-f anymore.
- 00:21:20.703 --> 00:21:22.905
- Lysa: that's exactly right.
- 00:21:22.905 --> 00:21:24.273
- And you know, some people get confused as christians.
- 00:21:24.273 --> 00:21:26.943
- It's like, well, jesus said we are to lay down our life.
- 00:21:26.943 --> 00:21:29.645
- Jesus modeled laying down his life.
- 00:21:29.645 --> 00:21:31.881
- But the reality is jesus laid down his life to accomplish a
- 00:21:31.881 --> 00:21:35.418
- High and holy purpose.
- 00:21:35.418 --> 00:21:36.753
- He did not lay down his life to enable bad behavior to continue.
- 00:21:36.753 --> 00:21:41.324
- Kirk: how do you continue to trust god when god allowed the
- 00:21:41.324 --> 00:21:47.830
- Betrayer to get away with it?
- 00:21:47.830 --> 00:21:50.833
- They didn't get caught.
- 00:21:50.833 --> 00:21:52.435
- Everybody else believes them.
- 00:21:52.435 --> 00:21:54.237
- They pulled off the perfect crime, and i'm the victim.
- 00:21:54.237 --> 00:21:59.409
- How do i trust god when he never brought them to justice?
- 00:21:59.409 --> 00:22:03.146
- Lysa: well, one thing we have to remember is we have to get into
- 00:22:03.146 --> 00:22:05.548
- The scripture, and here's what i know, god will not be mocked,
- 00:22:05.548 --> 00:22:10.019
- And god brings equal measures of justice and mercy, and there may
- 00:22:10.019 --> 00:22:14.857
- Be a season of mercy.
- 00:22:14.857 --> 00:22:16.292
- The kindness of god maybe is there to try to lead them to
- 00:22:16.292 --> 00:22:19.128
- Repentance, you know?
- 00:22:19.128 --> 00:22:20.797
- But every time someone commits a sin, the consequence of that sin
- 00:22:20.797 --> 00:22:25.501
- Is built in even the pleasure of that sin.
- 00:22:25.501 --> 00:22:30.006
- So they're not getting away with it.
- 00:22:30.006 --> 00:22:32.108
- It may look like they're getting away with it for a season, but
- 00:22:32.108 --> 00:22:35.978
- When they commit a sin against you, the consequence for that
- 00:22:35.978 --> 00:22:39.115
- Sin is built in, and they will have to pay the price for
- 00:22:39.115 --> 00:22:43.252
- That sin.
- 00:22:43.252 --> 00:22:44.620
- Kirk: that's right, it's inescapable.
- 00:22:44.620 --> 00:22:45.955
- I was just reading that in the scriptures this morning.
- 00:22:45.955 --> 00:22:47.690
- I believe it was psalm 73, you know, i consider the fate of the
- 00:22:47.690 --> 00:22:51.928
- Wicked, and, you know, before it was like these fat cats are
- 00:22:51.928 --> 00:22:56.165
- Strutting around, their words are just like flying out of
- 00:22:56.165 --> 00:22:58.501
- Their mouth, they're healthy and strong, they don't have problems
- 00:22:58.501 --> 00:23:00.570
- Like everybody else, and then i went into the house of the lord,
- 00:23:00.570 --> 00:23:02.805
- And i remembered the fate of the wicked.
- 00:23:02.805 --> 00:23:04.173
- And you're right, is that--god will not be mocked, your sin
- 00:23:04.173 --> 00:23:08.344
- Will find you out.
- 00:23:08.344 --> 00:23:09.679
- At the end of the day, god is going to work all things
- 00:23:09.679 --> 00:23:11.547
- Together for good, and sometimes that consequence is delayed, but
- 00:23:11.547 --> 00:23:14.383
- It's always worse than we think, and so.
- 00:23:14.383 --> 00:23:17.620
- Even with our enemies there is room to have compassion on them,
- 00:23:17.620 --> 00:23:20.890
- Because we know that the justice of god doesn't sleep forever.
- 00:23:20.890 --> 00:23:24.594
- And he's shown us mercy when he could have shown us justice, and
- 00:23:24.594 --> 00:23:28.798
- We would have gone up in a puff of smoke just like that, but we
- 00:23:28.798 --> 00:23:31.467
- Didn't because of his kindness.
- 00:23:31.467 --> 00:23:33.336
- Lysa: yeah, and here's what's interesting too.
- 00:23:33.336 --> 00:23:35.972
- I had a conversation with someone who was the betrayer in
- 00:23:35.972 --> 00:23:41.110
- Their relationship, and i just-- i asked, i said, you know, it
- 00:23:41.110 --> 00:23:46.482
- Appeared for a long stretch of time that you were just living
- 00:23:46.482 --> 00:23:50.219
- Your best life, like rainbows and unicorns, and, you know, it
- 00:23:50.219 --> 00:23:54.223
- Was very confusing.
- 00:23:54.223 --> 00:23:55.558
- And i remember she looked at me, and she said, "never mistake
- 00:23:55.558 --> 00:24:00.463
- Outside light for inside darkness."
- 00:24:00.463 --> 00:24:02.899
- She goes, "yeah, of course, i needed everything to look like
- 00:24:02.899 --> 00:24:05.968
- It was all rosy and wonderful."
- 00:24:05.968 --> 00:24:07.703
- And she said, "but the darkness was so deep and so blinding and
- 00:24:07.703 --> 00:24:12.575
- So hurting."
- 00:24:12.575 --> 00:24:13.910
- I mean, it was just overwhelming, as she
- 00:24:13.910 --> 00:24:16.112
- Described it.
- 00:24:16.112 --> 00:24:17.480
- So, we can look at someone's outside, and we can think, man,
- 00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:20.883
- They really seem like they're living the best life, got away
- 00:24:20.883 --> 00:24:23.252
- With it, but there is some darkness they're dealing with
- 00:24:23.252 --> 00:24:26.556
- Inside that's overwhelming.
- 00:24:26.556 --> 00:24:29.258
- Kirk: i want to ask you about the section in your book that
- 00:24:29.258 --> 00:24:32.228
- You say the real secret is really healing.
- 00:24:32.228 --> 00:24:35.565
- What is that about?
- 00:24:35.565 --> 00:24:36.899
- Lysa: so at some point we have to put a stake in the ground and
- 00:24:36.899 --> 00:24:40.903
- Declare that we deserve to stop suffering because of what
- 00:24:40.903 --> 00:24:43.973
- Another person did.
- 00:24:43.973 --> 00:24:45.374
- Is it fair?
- 00:24:45.374 --> 00:24:46.742
- No, it's not fair, never be fair.
- 00:24:46.742 --> 00:24:49.745
- Do you wish that the other person would fall on their knees
- 00:24:49.745 --> 00:24:53.616
- And say they're sorry?
- 00:24:53.616 --> 00:24:54.984
- A hundred percent we do.
- 00:24:54.984 --> 00:24:56.652
- But if that person never says they're sorry, they never own
- 00:24:56.652 --> 00:24:59.922
- What they did, we've got to make the choice to detach our ability
- 00:24:59.922 --> 00:25:04.026
- To heal from choices they may never make, and so we may never
- 00:25:04.026 --> 00:25:08.598
- Have that epic conversation.
- 00:25:08.598 --> 00:25:10.666
- But we can put a stake in the ground and declare i deserve to
- 00:25:10.666 --> 00:25:13.836
- Stop suffering because of what another person has done to me.
- 00:25:13.836 --> 00:25:17.239
- My choice to heal is my choice to live and move forward.
- 00:25:17.239 --> 00:25:21.510
- And i think that's really important.
- 00:25:21.510 --> 00:25:23.145
- We can hold up the banner of victim, or we can hold up the
- 00:25:23.145 --> 00:25:26.115
- Banner of victory, but we can't hold up both at the same time.
- 00:25:26.115 --> 00:25:30.386
- Kirk: lysa, thank you so much.
- 00:25:30.386 --> 00:25:31.954
- The book is "i wanna trust you, but i don't,"
- 00:25:31.954 --> 00:25:34.423
- And people need to read this.
- 00:25:34.423 --> 00:25:36.659
- And i'm so excited for your next book.
- 00:25:36.659 --> 00:25:37.994
- Will you come back when that comes out?
- 00:25:37.994 --> 00:25:39.328
- Lysa: i would love to, i would love to.
- 00:25:39.328 --> 00:25:40.663
- Kirk: thank you so much.
- 00:25:40.663 --> 00:25:41.998
- After the break, laurie polich short will share
- 00:25:41.998 --> 00:25:43.699
- How to trace god's hand at work
- 00:25:43.699 --> 00:25:46.135
- In all the circumstances of your life,
- 00:25:46.135 --> 00:25:48.471
- Strengthening your trust in him, so don't go away.
- 00:25:48.471 --> 00:25:51.440
- [music]
- 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:57.004
- [music]
- 00:25:57.004 --> 00:25:57.913
- [music]
- 00:25:58.247 --> 00:26:02.284
- Kirk: how do you know god is actually present and working in
- 00:26:05.087 --> 00:26:07.790
- Your life?
- 00:26:07.790 --> 00:26:09.125
- Well, my next guest, popular speaker and author,
- 00:26:09.125 --> 00:26:11.560
- Laurie polich short, is with us today to share her insight from
- 00:26:11.560 --> 00:26:15.164
- Her latest book, "tracking god in your life: how to see god's
- 00:26:15.164 --> 00:26:19.702
- Work in your past, experience his presence, and trust him with
- 00:26:19.702 --> 00:26:24.040
- Your future."
- 00:26:24.040 --> 00:26:25.374
- Laurie, thanks so much for joining us on "takeaways."
- 00:26:25.374 --> 00:26:27.043
- Laurie: thank you for having me, kirk.
- 00:26:27.043 --> 00:26:28.678
- Kirk: now, you're really focusing here on helping people
- 00:26:28.678 --> 00:26:33.315
- See god's work in their life, but god doesn't have a body like
- 00:26:33.315 --> 00:26:39.388
- Ours, so is it even possible to see an invisible god?
- 00:26:39.388 --> 00:26:43.826
- Laurie: actually, i bring that up right away in the book,
- 00:26:43.826 --> 00:26:46.328
- Because i think that's a big question.
- 00:26:46.328 --> 00:26:47.997
- How do we actually see something that's invisible?
- 00:26:47.997 --> 00:26:51.400
- And there are a lot of things that are invisible that we know
- 00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:54.737
- Are there, like the air that we breathe and the wind that we see
- 00:26:54.737 --> 00:26:59.275
- The effects of, and our thoughts.
- 00:26:59.275 --> 00:27:01.777
- We don't see any of those things, but we know they're
- 00:27:01.777 --> 00:27:04.547
- There because of their effects, and that is how we know god
- 00:27:04.547 --> 00:27:09.151
- Is there.
- 00:27:09.151 --> 00:27:10.486
- It's the way he's moving and working in the world.
- 00:27:10.486 --> 00:27:13.022
- Kirk: you know, i've always wanted to better understand what
- 00:27:13.022 --> 00:27:14.990
- The bible means when it says that god gives us eyes to see.
- 00:27:14.990 --> 00:27:18.661
- He gives us eyes of faith, and yet i wanna just see like i'm
- 00:27:18.661 --> 00:27:22.498
- Seeing you right now, but faith is this component that god does
- 00:27:22.498 --> 00:27:27.903
- Not allow us to remove, and instead, he gives us eyes that
- 00:27:27.903 --> 00:27:33.242
- Can actually see even though he's invisible.
- 00:27:33.242 --> 00:27:35.811
- Laurie: yeah, i mean, well, hebrews 11:1 says faith is being
- 00:27:35.811 --> 00:27:39.448
- Sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.
- 00:27:39.448 --> 00:27:43.586
- And so in a sense it's god's love language that we love him
- 00:27:43.586 --> 00:27:48.758
- By faith, that we know him by faith, that we don't see him
- 00:27:48.758 --> 00:27:53.429
- With our eyes, but we see him through so many other senses and
- 00:27:53.429 --> 00:27:58.434
- Through what he does in our lives as well.
- 00:27:58.434 --> 00:28:00.903
- Kirk: which i just happen to think that that is just a
- 00:28:00.903 --> 00:28:03.706
- Brilliant component of god's plan of maturing us.
- 00:28:03.706 --> 00:28:07.743
- I always, as an atheist, wanted to just obliterate faith and not
- 00:28:07.743 --> 00:28:12.581
- Realizing that faith was part of my atheist story as well.
- 00:28:12.581 --> 00:28:15.785
- I believed in all sorts of things that i couldn't prove,
- 00:28:15.785 --> 00:28:18.454
- Like the universe exploded out of nothing, but god grants a
- 00:28:18.454 --> 00:28:21.991
- Special kind of faith, and that's what your book is all
- 00:28:21.991 --> 00:28:24.660
- About is being able to see god working and moving in your life.
- 00:28:24.660 --> 00:28:28.297
- Why did you write this?
- 00:28:28.297 --> 00:28:29.665
- What made you want to help people track god moving in
- 00:28:29.665 --> 00:28:31.967
- Their life?
- 00:28:31.967 --> 00:28:33.335
- Laurie: well, i've written some books about helping people see
- 00:28:33.335 --> 00:28:36.038
- God when life is hard or mysterious or you don't know
- 00:28:36.038 --> 00:28:40.376
- What god is doing, and i finally got to the place where i thought
- 00:28:40.376 --> 00:28:43.979
- I need to give people some tools so that they can find their own
- 00:28:43.979 --> 00:28:48.350
- God stories.
- 00:28:48.350 --> 00:28:49.718
- I mean, i've been a speaker for a very long time and told my
- 00:28:49.718 --> 00:28:52.154
- Story, and people would say your stories are so incredible, and
- 00:28:52.154 --> 00:28:55.124
- I'm like you have them too.
- 00:28:55.124 --> 00:28:56.625
- It's just that i do this for a living.
- 00:28:56.625 --> 00:28:58.861
- And so this book really helps people excavate their own
- 00:28:58.861 --> 00:29:02.932
- Stories and see where god has worked in ways that they
- 00:29:02.932 --> 00:29:07.803
- Probably haven't noticed before.
- 00:29:07.803 --> 00:29:09.138
- It's not just a timeline, it's really taking them through
- 00:29:09.138 --> 00:29:12.675
- Different ways to see god in their life so that when they're
- 00:29:12.675 --> 00:29:16.946
- Confused or in the dark, or you're in the middle of a story,
- 00:29:16.946 --> 00:29:20.349
- You will remember what god has done and how he's worked and
- 00:29:20.349 --> 00:29:25.054
- Think to yourself i just need to wait right now.
- 00:29:25.054 --> 00:29:27.890
- I need to look at where god might be that i'm not looking
- 00:29:27.890 --> 00:29:32.027
- Instead of the place that he's not that i wish he was and just
- 00:29:32.027 --> 00:29:37.099
- Wait and watch, and i think that's what this book helps
- 00:29:37.099 --> 00:29:39.635
- You do.
- 00:29:39.635 --> 00:29:40.970
- So it's not just looking back, but it's looking back so you can
- 00:29:40.970 --> 00:29:44.073
- Lean into faith when you are in the dark.
- 00:29:44.073 --> 00:29:47.576
- Kirk: you know, i think you're so right.
- 00:29:47.576 --> 00:29:49.678
- I have struggled at times to see god working in my life, and i
- 00:29:49.678 --> 00:29:53.749
- Remember listening to other people introduce me to a friend,
- 00:29:53.749 --> 00:29:58.721
- And they introduced me by telling the story as they saw it
- 00:29:58.721 --> 00:30:03.025
- From their perspective.
- 00:30:03.025 --> 00:30:04.360
- There was this kid on this tv show, and he didn't believe in
- 00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:08.264
- God, and then god reached down and opened his eyes through a
- 00:30:08.264 --> 00:30:11.700
- Girl that he met on the set, and it turned out that he would then
- 00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:16.071
- End up witnessing to atheists later on and championing, you
- 00:30:16.071 --> 00:30:21.176
- Know, pro-life and christian education, and i'm thinking,
- 00:30:21.176 --> 00:30:24.113
- Wow, that--he's talking about me.
- 00:30:24.113 --> 00:30:26.415
- You know, god was at work when i never saw him at work, and i
- 00:30:26.415 --> 00:30:30.953
- Think when you, through your book, help us to see that god's
- 00:30:30.953 --> 00:30:36.058
- Been writing a story, and we're somewhere in the middle chapter
- 00:30:36.058 --> 00:30:39.295
- Of that story, and he's not finished yet, it gives us
- 00:30:39.295 --> 00:30:42.264
- Great hope.
- 00:30:42.264 --> 00:30:43.599
- Laurie: yes, absolutely, because we know that as we're living
- 00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:48.037
- Something, we don't really see what god is doing, and the way
- 00:30:48.037 --> 00:30:51.807
- We know that is by looking back at some of our stories, because
- 00:30:51.807 --> 00:30:54.677
- If we had stopped those stories in the middle, we would have
- 00:30:54.677 --> 00:30:57.546
- Never imagined that they would have taken the twists and turns
- 00:30:57.546 --> 00:31:00.082
- That they did, and i think that that's why i want the reader to
- 00:31:00.082 --> 00:31:04.520
- Look back on their own life, because you get so many insights
- 00:31:04.520 --> 00:31:08.357
- About god doing that, that then you can practice in your faith.
- 00:31:08.357 --> 00:31:13.362
- Kirk: laurie, what are some of the specific ways that we can
- 00:31:13.362 --> 00:31:16.131
- Observe god guiding us in our life?
- 00:31:16.131 --> 00:31:20.035
- Laurie: so i begin with the idea of footprints, and you remember
- 00:31:20.035 --> 00:31:24.306
- That old poem.
- 00:31:24.306 --> 00:31:25.774
- Kirk: i love that old poem, and so many young people have never
- 00:31:25.774 --> 00:31:28.677
- Heard it today.
- 00:31:28.677 --> 00:31:30.012
- Laurie: i know, i know, and it's so beautiful.
- 00:31:30.012 --> 00:31:31.547
- Kirk: briefly tell the footprints in the sand story.
- 00:31:31.547 --> 00:31:34.283
- Laurie: yeah, so a man is walking along the beach, and
- 00:31:34.283 --> 00:31:37.219
- He's looking back at the footprints in the sand as if
- 00:31:37.219 --> 00:31:40.656
- He's looking back at his life, and where he sees two sets of
- 00:31:40.656 --> 00:31:44.660
- Footprints, he assumes that god was with him, and where he sees
- 00:31:44.660 --> 00:31:48.464
- One set of footprints, he assumes he was alone, and he
- 00:31:48.464 --> 00:31:51.467
- Notices that those were the most difficult and painful times of
- 00:31:51.467 --> 00:31:55.070
- His life.
- 00:31:55.070 --> 00:31:56.405
- So he cries out to god, "where were you in my darkest moments?"
- 00:31:56.405 --> 00:32:00.709
- And god said, "that was when i carried you."
- 00:32:00.709 --> 00:32:03.946
- So that's the surprise of the poem, that those were god's
- 00:32:03.946 --> 00:32:07.116
- Footprints, not his.
- 00:32:07.116 --> 00:32:08.484
- Kirk: it still chokes me up when i think about it.
- 00:32:08.484 --> 00:32:09.985
- Laurie: i know, it is--it's such a beautiful story.
- 00:32:09.985 --> 00:32:12.454
- And i think that's true in our own lives.
- 00:32:12.454 --> 00:32:14.990
- Part of what i do in the book is lead you to places that you
- 00:32:14.990 --> 00:32:17.993
- Never imagined god was.
- 00:32:17.993 --> 00:32:20.329
- For instance, one chapter is on open and closed doors.
- 00:32:20.329 --> 00:32:23.132
- Well, we know god's in the open doors, like when we get what we
- 00:32:23.132 --> 00:32:26.135
- Want, and we prayed for something and it happens that
- 00:32:26.135 --> 00:32:28.404
- Way, but we don't see that god was also in the closed doors
- 00:32:28.404 --> 00:32:34.076
- Until we look at the whole story and realize that before that
- 00:32:34.076 --> 00:32:37.379
- Happened, there was something that ended or something that
- 00:32:37.379 --> 00:32:40.582
- Didn't happen, and god was in all of it.
- 00:32:40.582 --> 00:32:43.519
- God was in the whole story.
- 00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:45.120
- Kirk: laurie, that's exactly what has been the case with me.
- 00:32:45.120 --> 00:32:48.624
- It's been the times that god shut doors, and i initially
- 00:32:48.624 --> 00:32:53.062
- Reacted negatively that he was actually saving me from
- 00:32:53.062 --> 00:32:58.133
- Something that now i see would have been so bad for me.
- 00:32:58.133 --> 00:33:01.837
- He closed the door on a relationship, a business
- 00:33:01.837 --> 00:33:04.206
- Relationship, a friendship, and he led me down another road that
- 00:33:04.206 --> 00:33:09.411
- I didn't want to go, and it ended up being the best
- 00:33:09.411 --> 00:33:12.381
- Thing ever.
- 00:33:12.381 --> 00:33:13.715
- Laurie: yes, and sometimes god closes a door that's painful,
- 00:33:13.715 --> 00:33:17.252
- And not every closed door are you excited about in the future,
- 00:33:17.252 --> 00:33:23.225
- But what you notice is that in those closed doors, or maybe
- 00:33:23.225 --> 00:33:27.096
- Things that happen in your life that are difficult and painful,
- 00:33:27.096 --> 00:33:30.632
- God uses that pain as a connector to other people.
- 00:33:30.632 --> 00:33:35.070
- And so he might have you sustain something that's hard to hold so
- 00:33:35.070 --> 00:33:40.275
- That he can use it in other people's lives.
- 00:33:40.275 --> 00:33:43.245
- Because i'm sure you've noticed that people probably come to you
- 00:33:43.245 --> 00:33:47.583
- For the things that you've struggled with the most, because
- 00:33:47.583 --> 00:33:51.253
- When you're going through something, who do you want to
- 00:33:51.253 --> 00:33:52.888
- Talk to?
- 00:33:52.888 --> 00:33:54.223
- Kirk: somebody who's experienced it.
- 00:33:54.223 --> 00:33:55.591
- Laurie: exactly, and so i always talk about my own story, not
- 00:33:55.591 --> 00:33:58.961
- Getting married till i was 49, which is every girl's dream, but
- 00:33:58.961 --> 00:34:02.698
- It was the right time for me, and yet i now have so many
- 00:34:02.698 --> 00:34:07.803
- People who come to me who are struggling with singleness
- 00:34:07.803 --> 00:34:10.772
- Longer than they would like that i wouldn't have if i got married
- 00:34:10.772 --> 00:34:14.309
- In my twenties.
- 00:34:14.309 --> 00:34:15.644
- So that part of my story, that somewhat painful part of my
- 00:34:15.644 --> 00:34:19.148
- Story that even though it ended well, i still carry that.
- 00:34:19.148 --> 00:34:22.718
- And i'm a stepmom instead of a biological mom, and so i have
- 00:34:22.718 --> 00:34:28.123
- All kinds of things that god uses me in that area to speak to
- 00:34:28.123 --> 00:34:32.461
- Other people as well.
- 00:34:32.461 --> 00:34:33.795
- And so i think we look back on our stories, and we notice that
- 00:34:33.795 --> 00:34:36.932
- Maybe some of those things that you went through that were
- 00:34:36.932 --> 00:34:39.134
- Difficult, and there's actually a chapter in the book about
- 00:34:39.134 --> 00:34:41.303
- That, that god uses our weakness, our pain, the most
- 00:34:41.303 --> 00:34:46.942
- Powerfully in our lives.
- 00:34:46.942 --> 00:34:49.111
- Kirk: that's right, you really do go into that in your book,
- 00:34:49.111 --> 00:34:52.481
- That god shows up powerfully in our pain and in our hardship,
- 00:34:52.481 --> 00:34:56.351
- And during those times, some people question if god's there
- 00:34:56.351 --> 00:35:00.222
- At all and could even shipwreck their faith.
- 00:35:00.222 --> 00:35:04.059
- But i think you're exactly right.
- 00:35:04.059 --> 00:35:06.862
- Sometimes when things are going so well, we just sort of cruise
- 00:35:06.862 --> 00:35:09.865
- Through not realizing that it's only because of god that some of
- 00:35:09.865 --> 00:35:13.735
- These things are happening, and it's in the pain that god
- 00:35:13.735 --> 00:35:16.972
- Stops us.
- 00:35:16.972 --> 00:35:18.340
- I know that in my own life there have been issues of pride or
- 00:35:18.340 --> 00:35:21.810
- Selfishness that i was oblivious to until god turned up the heat
- 00:35:21.810 --> 00:35:29.017
- And allowed me to experience the pain of some broken
- 00:35:29.017 --> 00:35:32.554
- Relationships that actually helped me to see my own sin, and
- 00:35:32.554 --> 00:35:38.760
- I'm so thankful that he did, because i don't know if i would
- 00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:41.730
- Have those relationships anymore today.
- 00:35:41.730 --> 00:35:43.632
- Laurie: absolutely, and so much of this is seeing the
- 00:35:43.632 --> 00:35:46.902
- Whole story.
- 00:35:46.902 --> 00:35:48.270
- And as you said, people bail in the middle, and i think what
- 00:35:48.270 --> 00:35:52.474
- Happens when you look back and see the way god works is that
- 00:35:52.474 --> 00:35:56.645
- You stay in the story.
- 00:35:56.645 --> 00:35:58.847
- I have what i've developed the middle of the story theology.
- 00:35:58.847 --> 00:36:03.085
- And i always say if you're in a hard, dark place, that is not
- 00:36:03.085 --> 00:36:06.188
- The end of your story.
- 00:36:06.188 --> 00:36:07.556
- If you got up this morning, and you're still breathing, god is
- 00:36:07.556 --> 00:36:10.359
- Still at work in this, and you have to hold on.
- 00:36:10.359 --> 00:36:13.495
- And sometimes it takes a long time, because i don't know if
- 00:36:13.495 --> 00:36:15.664
- You've noticed, but god's timing is not always our timing about
- 00:36:15.664 --> 00:36:19.735
- Things, and he has the long view of what he's doing.
- 00:36:19.735 --> 00:36:23.505
- And what i try to do in this book is show you some of those
- 00:36:23.505 --> 00:36:28.076
- Little ways that god is working, especially when you're focused
- 00:36:28.076 --> 00:36:31.613
- On the way he's not working.
- 00:36:31.613 --> 00:36:33.915
- I think we have to turn our attention to maybe some other
- 00:36:33.915 --> 00:36:36.618
- Things that god is doing in our lives, and that really carries
- 00:36:36.618 --> 00:36:40.622
- Us through those times.
- 00:36:40.622 --> 00:36:42.524
- Kirk: that's so important, and i hope everybody who's watching
- 00:36:42.524 --> 00:36:44.993
- Now is able to really tune into this.
- 00:36:44.993 --> 00:36:47.996
- God is writing a story, it's not just the stories in the bible,
- 00:36:47.996 --> 00:36:51.633
- But all throughout history, including now and into the
- 00:36:51.633 --> 00:36:54.202
- Future, he's writing a story, and he's the perfect author.
- 00:36:54.202 --> 00:36:57.539
- We're not the main character, christ is, but we play
- 00:36:57.539 --> 00:37:00.175
- Supporting roles, and we each have our own story.
- 00:37:00.175 --> 00:37:02.711
- And so you may be going through something very difficult right
- 00:37:02.711 --> 00:37:05.147
- Now, but remember, god is still writing the story, and if he
- 00:37:05.147 --> 00:37:09.551
- Takes out the difficult parts, it doesn't make it a
- 00:37:09.551 --> 00:37:12.387
- Better story.
- 00:37:12.387 --> 00:37:13.722
- What if the crucifixion was taken out of the story of jesus?
- 00:37:13.722 --> 00:37:16.458
- That wouldn't make it a better story.
- 00:37:16.458 --> 00:37:18.660
- If sauron was removed from "the lord of the rings" and all the
- 00:37:18.660 --> 00:37:22.531
- Evil that he causes, would that make it a better movie or a
- 00:37:22.531 --> 00:37:26.134
- Better book?
- 00:37:26.134 --> 00:37:27.469
- No, it's actually the triumphing over the evil, it's the
- 00:37:27.469 --> 00:37:30.005
- Redemption of things that are broken that actually make it so
- 00:37:30.005 --> 00:37:33.909
- Compelling, and god's doing that in your life through your trials
- 00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:37.879
- And your challenges.
- 00:37:37.879 --> 00:37:39.414
- Laurie, i wanna get into all of this and the interactive nature
- 00:37:39.414 --> 00:37:42.250
- Of this book in just a moment.
- 00:37:42.250 --> 00:37:44.052
- After the break, we'll be back with laurie sharing how to
- 00:37:44.052 --> 00:37:46.955
- Recognize god's presence, experience his direction, and
- 00:37:46.955 --> 00:37:51.059
- Trust him for what lies ahead.
- 00:37:51.059 --> 00:37:52.627
- Stay with us.
- 00:37:52.627 --> 00:37:54.629
- [music]
- 00:37:54.629 --> 00:37:59.001
- [music]
- 00:37:59.001 --> 00:37:59.601
- [music]
- 00:37:59.935 --> 00:38:03.972
- Kirk: we are back with popular speaker and author,
- 00:38:06.608 --> 00:38:08.844
- Laurie polich short, discussing how to see the thread
- 00:38:08.844 --> 00:38:12.147
- Of god's work in your life.
- 00:38:12.147 --> 00:38:15.250
- Laurie, i like how in one chapter of your book, you talk
- 00:38:15.250 --> 00:38:19.488
- About how god often flips the script.
- 00:38:19.488 --> 00:38:22.891
- Can you unpack that for us and tell us how that's happened in
- 00:38:22.891 --> 00:38:25.694
- Your own life?
- 00:38:25.694 --> 00:38:27.062
- Laurie: so, i think that when we look back, we realize that
- 00:38:27.062 --> 00:38:30.232
- Something we thought was about one thing turned out to be
- 00:38:30.232 --> 00:38:33.468
- Something else altogether.
- 00:38:33.468 --> 00:38:34.803
- Kirk: yeah, just like the footprints in the sand.
- 00:38:34.803 --> 00:38:36.338
- Laurie: yeah, exactly.
- 00:38:36.338 --> 00:38:37.672
- Yes, yes, there's a script flipping.
- 00:38:37.672 --> 00:38:40.075
- I mean, we see it obviously in jesus as he died and
- 00:38:40.075 --> 00:38:45.414
- Good friday.
- 00:38:45.414 --> 00:38:46.782
- You know, for two days they didn't know it was going
- 00:38:46.782 --> 00:38:48.250
- To be good friday.
- 00:38:48.250 --> 00:38:49.584
- We celebrate it knowing easter is coming, but they didn't know,
- 00:38:49.584 --> 00:38:51.319
- The disciples didn't know.
- 00:38:51.319 --> 00:38:52.921
- And so there's this element of surprise.
- 00:38:52.921 --> 00:38:55.323
- I actually think god delights in surprises, and this shows up
- 00:38:55.323 --> 00:39:00.028
- Again and again in our lives.
- 00:39:00.028 --> 00:39:02.197
- You know, i went through a very painful broken engagement,
- 00:39:02.197 --> 00:39:04.633
- Humiliating actually, because a lot of people knew i was engaged
- 00:39:04.633 --> 00:39:08.003
- And getting married, and i was 42 at the time.
- 00:39:08.003 --> 00:39:10.872
- And honestly, when you go through something like that, you
- 00:39:10.872 --> 00:39:13.809
- Think, well, this is my last chance, and that's the end of
- 00:39:13.809 --> 00:39:17.546
- Things, and then you wake up, and you go, okay, but i have to
- 00:39:17.546 --> 00:39:20.782
- Still keep living, and i didn't know that i would ever get
- 00:39:20.782 --> 00:39:23.585
- Married again, but what was interesting is i got a call
- 00:39:23.585 --> 00:39:26.955
- About a job, and i wasn't looking for a job, but it was a
- 00:39:26.955 --> 00:39:30.759
- Different open door that i needed to pay attention to.
- 00:39:30.759 --> 00:39:34.463
- And i always say, you know, sometimes we're so focused on
- 00:39:34.463 --> 00:39:36.531
- The door we want that we might miss the door that's opening.
- 00:39:36.531 --> 00:39:39.801
- And pay attention to that door, because that might lead to
- 00:39:39.801 --> 00:39:43.905
- Somewhere you need to go.
- 00:39:43.905 --> 00:39:45.273
- And it was through that door of working at a church in santa
- 00:39:45.273 --> 00:39:48.410
- Barbara that i met my husband and ended up getting married and
- 00:39:48.410 --> 00:39:51.713
- Wearing the dress that i bought for the first fiance.
- 00:39:51.713 --> 00:39:55.717
- My mom kept it in her closet for 5 years, and i think it was her
- 00:39:55.717 --> 00:39:59.521
- Hope chest.
- 00:39:59.521 --> 00:40:00.856
- But i thought, well, i had the right dress, i just had the
- 00:40:00.856 --> 00:40:02.891
- Wrong guy.
- 00:40:02.891 --> 00:40:04.259
- So that story turned out to be completely different than i
- 00:40:04.259 --> 00:40:07.462
- Thought it was gonna be when i was in it, and i--
- 00:40:07.462 --> 00:40:09.431
- Kirk: you never would have written that story, but would
- 00:40:09.431 --> 00:40:11.867
- You go back now and change it?
- 00:40:11.867 --> 00:40:13.502
- Laurie: no, no, because that is part of my story.
- 00:40:13.502 --> 00:40:17.372
- In fact, when i share my testimony, people want to hear
- 00:40:17.372 --> 00:40:20.175
- Again and again, oh, tell the story, because people love that
- 00:40:20.175 --> 00:40:23.411
- Part of the story.
- 00:40:23.411 --> 00:40:25.013
- When the surprise happens, why do we go to the movies?
- 00:40:25.013 --> 00:40:27.582
- Why do we--you know, we would never go to the movies to
- 00:40:27.582 --> 00:40:30.719
- See a--
- 00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:32.053
- Kirk: the twist ending, it's the best kind of ending.
- 00:40:32.053 --> 00:40:33.755
- Do you know, my wife and i were walking through our neighborhood
- 00:40:33.755 --> 00:40:35.757
- Of a new house that we moved into, and we met an older lady,
- 00:40:35.757 --> 00:40:39.995
- And she couldn't wait to tell us the story, and it was a story of
- 00:40:39.995 --> 00:40:42.764
- How she had married her high school sweetheart, and they had
- 00:40:42.764 --> 00:40:45.634
- Gotten divorced, and they had been divorced for like 20, 30
- 00:40:45.634 --> 00:40:48.203
- Years, and then she became a widow, and he was a widower, and
- 00:40:48.203 --> 00:40:52.507
- They connected back together over a hamburger, and they ended
- 00:40:52.507 --> 00:40:55.544
- Up getting married again.
- 00:40:55.544 --> 00:40:56.912
- Laurie: that's great.
- 00:40:56.912 --> 00:40:58.246
- Kirk: it's this great story that they never would have written,
- 00:40:58.246 --> 00:40:59.748
- Were probably just tragically disappointed and crushed over
- 00:40:59.748 --> 00:41:04.286
- The way things went, and now they're back together again.
- 00:41:04.286 --> 00:41:07.322
- Laurie: and i think it's so key that you mentioned that it's 20,
- 00:41:07.322 --> 00:41:09.658
- 30 years, because that's where we get lost.
- 00:41:09.658 --> 00:41:12.961
- I think the waits cause us to give up on god, and he is on a
- 00:41:12.961 --> 00:41:18.033
- Much longer timeline.
- 00:41:18.033 --> 00:41:19.401
- I think we can look at joseph in the old testament to see that.
- 00:41:19.401 --> 00:41:22.137
- I mean, you never would have guessed that he was on his way
- 00:41:22.137 --> 00:41:25.273
- Where he was going.
- 00:41:25.273 --> 00:41:26.641
- Kirk: never.
- 00:41:26.641 --> 00:41:27.976
- Laurie: every single place that he ended up seemed like he was
- 00:41:27.976 --> 00:41:30.045
- Getting farther from where he was going, but god's thread, you
- 00:41:30.045 --> 00:41:33.548
- Can see by looking, even when he was in prison, the fact that the
- 00:41:33.548 --> 00:41:37.152
- Pharaoh's attendants happened to be there, and then, of course,
- 00:41:37.152 --> 00:41:39.955
- They forgot about him but then remembered two years later, and
- 00:41:39.955 --> 00:41:43.658
- Then pharaoh had a dream, and then joseph ended up going from
- 00:41:43.658 --> 00:41:47.262
- Prison to the palace.
- 00:41:47.262 --> 00:41:48.597
- But you could never have written that story, and i think god is
- 00:41:48.597 --> 00:41:51.933
- Doing that in our lives.
- 00:41:51.933 --> 00:41:53.635
- And what helps is looking back to see all the threads that he
- 00:41:53.635 --> 00:41:58.540
- Has woven together in ways you could not have imagined.
- 00:41:58.540 --> 00:42:02.711
- There's a chapter on timing and coincidences.
- 00:42:02.711 --> 00:42:05.246
- You know, we don't usually think about that, but god's at work,
- 00:42:05.246 --> 00:42:08.316
- And all the time he's doing something.
- 00:42:08.316 --> 00:42:10.819
- And a lot of times he's working in us as well as around us to
- 00:42:10.819 --> 00:42:14.990
- Prepare us for what's coming, and sometimes he uses our
- 00:42:14.990 --> 00:42:17.826
- Circumstances to do that as well to help us build character.
- 00:42:17.826 --> 00:42:23.264
- I think about joseph as well, he built much more character,
- 00:42:23.264 --> 00:42:27.035
- Because when he was a teenager if he had gone straight from
- 00:42:27.035 --> 00:42:29.170
- There to the palace, he might have been a cocky leader,
- 00:42:29.170 --> 00:42:31.473
- You know?
- 00:42:31.473 --> 00:42:32.841
- And yet god just built that in him, and so god uses everything
- 00:42:32.841 --> 00:42:37.712
- In our lives, but we don't love going through everything, but we
- 00:42:37.712 --> 00:42:42.484
- Have to trust that he is in control.
- 00:42:42.484 --> 00:42:45.887
- Kirk: from the start to the finish, from the cradle to the
- 00:42:45.887 --> 00:42:48.356
- Grave and beyond.
- 00:42:48.356 --> 00:42:49.924
- I think this is really important for young people who are saying,
- 00:42:49.924 --> 00:42:52.060
- You know, i don't feel like god's writing a story.
- 00:42:52.060 --> 00:42:53.828
- Like, i've got the whole story in my mind, i'm gonna get
- 00:42:53.828 --> 00:42:55.530
- Married, i'm gonna meet the person, we're gonna live this
- 00:42:55.530 --> 00:42:57.899
- Life of adventure and romance, and then it's not happening.
- 00:42:57.899 --> 00:43:00.502
- They think is this even worth it?
- 00:43:00.502 --> 00:43:01.836
- Is he even there?
- 00:43:01.836 --> 00:43:03.204
- Is he even paying attention?
- 00:43:03.204 --> 00:43:04.539
- You know, why doesn't he give me the things?
- 00:43:04.539 --> 00:43:06.207
- I'm working so hard to be faithful, and i'm supposed to
- 00:43:06.207 --> 00:43:09.044
- Have the result of this story, but he's writing something
- 00:43:09.044 --> 00:43:12.013
- Altogether different perhaps than what you're imagining.
- 00:43:12.013 --> 00:43:14.649
- And then the older person who may feel like my story's
- 00:43:14.649 --> 00:43:16.685
- Finished, it's done, i raised my kids, i did the thing, and now
- 00:43:16.685 --> 00:43:19.721
- I'm just waiting to die.
- 00:43:19.721 --> 00:43:21.056
- No, no, no, no, god has got a story, and it's, oh, you got to
- 00:43:21.056 --> 00:43:25.293
- Hang in there.
- 00:43:25.293 --> 00:43:26.628
- You gotta just get--become friends with the author and find
- 00:43:26.628 --> 00:43:29.864
- Out what he's doing.
- 00:43:29.864 --> 00:43:31.232
- Laurie: yes, that is so true.
- 00:43:31.232 --> 00:43:32.567
- Kirk: you designed this book to be interactive, and you created
- 00:43:32.567 --> 00:43:36.171
- Blank spaces for people to write and to document.
- 00:43:36.171 --> 00:43:38.907
- Why is it important that people journal what god is doing in
- 00:43:38.907 --> 00:43:42.310
- Their life?
- 00:43:42.310 --> 00:43:43.645
- Laurie: i think so often we read a book, and it moves us, and we
- 00:43:43.645 --> 00:43:46.948
- End up writing in the margin anyway or underlining or
- 00:43:46.948 --> 00:43:50.118
- Highlighting, and what i want the reader to do is interact.
- 00:43:50.118 --> 00:43:53.588
- There's no pressure on how much you write or what you write, but
- 00:43:53.588 --> 00:43:57.459
- I feel like it will lead you into--it's more of an
- 00:43:57.459 --> 00:44:00.428
- Experience than a book, actually, because you are going
- 00:44:00.428 --> 00:44:04.265
- Into your own life and seeing things that you never put
- 00:44:04.265 --> 00:44:07.669
- Together before and never noticed before, and people are
- 00:44:07.669 --> 00:44:09.871
- Doing that, and i'm so excited about that, because that's what
- 00:44:09.871 --> 00:44:12.807
- I longed for in writing this book, that people would be
- 00:44:12.807 --> 00:44:16.211
- Surprised at what they found.
- 00:44:16.211 --> 00:44:18.546
- And also, there's a moving forward section of how do i
- 00:44:18.546 --> 00:44:22.884
- Practice this moving forward?
- 00:44:22.884 --> 00:44:24.419
- How do i look for god in coincidences and timing and open
- 00:44:24.419 --> 00:44:28.123
- And closed doors and when the script gets flipped?
- 00:44:28.123 --> 00:44:31.493
- Maybe, you know, i think that happens a lot, that we present
- 00:44:31.493 --> 00:44:34.295
- God with our plan of what we want our life to be, and he
- 00:44:34.295 --> 00:44:39.334
- Says, "thank you for sharing," and then does his own thing,
- 00:44:39.334 --> 00:44:42.203
- Because he's never taken any of my ideas.
- 00:44:42.203 --> 00:44:45.573
- But now i look back and i think, gosh, my story was so full and
- 00:44:45.573 --> 00:44:49.410
- Still is so surprising, and i wouldn't have changed it, so.
- 00:44:49.410 --> 00:44:54.249
- Kirk: when i look back on my life, as the story that it is,
- 00:44:54.249 --> 00:44:58.887
- Boy, you know, he completely flipped the script.
- 00:44:58.887 --> 00:45:01.489
- I never wanted to be an actor.
- 00:45:01.489 --> 00:45:03.258
- Now i read scripts for a living, and i play roles of people that
- 00:45:03.258 --> 00:45:08.997
- I'm not.
- 00:45:08.997 --> 00:45:10.331
- I wanted to go to medical school.
- 00:45:10.331 --> 00:45:11.699
- I wanted to become a doctor.
- 00:45:11.699 --> 00:45:13.034
- My father is a school teacher and so are my grandparents, and
- 00:45:13.034 --> 00:45:15.670
- So i never had any dreams of being a flaky actor, but god had
- 00:45:15.670 --> 00:45:20.842
- This plan, and i go down this road, and all of a sudden i'm
- 00:45:20.842 --> 00:45:24.412
- Trying to now get involved in christian media and
- 00:45:24.412 --> 00:45:26.247
- Entertainment and education by sharing christ with people, and
- 00:45:26.247 --> 00:45:28.817
- I just think god's story is so good.
- 00:45:28.817 --> 00:45:30.585
- Laurie: oh my goodness.
- 00:45:30.585 --> 00:45:31.953
- Kirk: it's so great.
- 00:45:31.953 --> 00:45:33.288
- Laurie: ironically, i wanted to be an actress.
- 00:45:33.288 --> 00:45:34.656
- I majored in theater arts at ucla.
- 00:45:34.656 --> 00:45:36.858
- Kirk: oh, really?
- 00:45:36.858 --> 00:45:38.193
- Laurie: oh, yes, and i was, you know, and that was right when
- 00:45:38.193 --> 00:45:40.161
- God got ahold of me, and i still thought i would do something in
- 00:45:40.161 --> 00:45:43.398
- Drama, and the only class i got a c in was speech, and that is
- 00:45:43.398 --> 00:45:49.103
- What god had for me.
- 00:45:49.103 --> 00:45:50.471
- Kirk: and now you're speaking over the place.
- 00:45:50.471 --> 00:45:52.707
- Laurie: yes, so you never know what god is going to do.
- 00:45:52.707 --> 00:45:55.510
- Kirk: you have a chapter in your book called "mirrors and
- 00:45:55.510 --> 00:45:57.545
- Cliffs" that talks about taking risks.
- 00:45:57.545 --> 00:46:01.115
- Why are risks important?
- 00:46:01.115 --> 00:46:02.450
- What can people learn from this chapter?
- 00:46:02.450 --> 00:46:03.818
- Laurie: well, it's interesting.
- 00:46:03.818 --> 00:46:05.153
- I pair inward risk with outward risk.
- 00:46:05.153 --> 00:46:07.388
- So the inward risk is when god invites you to look at something
- 00:46:07.388 --> 00:46:11.960
- Inside yourself that you don't want to see or you've been
- 00:46:11.960 --> 00:46:15.096
- Afraid to see, because he wants you to be free.
- 00:46:15.096 --> 00:46:18.433
- And so he might do it in various ways.
- 00:46:18.433 --> 00:46:22.103
- Someone could confront you and say something, or you might see
- 00:46:22.103 --> 00:46:26.374
- That behavior in someone else, and god may be showing
- 00:46:26.374 --> 00:46:29.844
- You something.
- 00:46:29.844 --> 00:46:31.179
- And it's risky to look at our own weaknesses.
- 00:46:31.179 --> 00:46:34.849
- And then the other risk is to do something you don't feel
- 00:46:34.849 --> 00:46:37.452
- Qualified to do, and for me, it was speaking.
- 00:46:37.452 --> 00:46:40.555
- I just felt all along the way i was getting these opportunities
- 00:46:40.555 --> 00:46:43.725
- That people would have killed for, and i was like, oh no, i
- 00:46:43.725 --> 00:46:46.594
- Can't do it, i'm too afraid.
- 00:46:46.594 --> 00:46:48.763
- And my stepping out and actually doing that invited me into a
- 00:46:48.763 --> 00:46:52.800
- Deeper relationship with god, because i knew that i couldn't
- 00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:56.237
- Do it on my own.
- 00:46:56.237 --> 00:46:57.572
- And i think when we do something that we know we can't do on our
- 00:46:57.572 --> 00:47:00.775
- Own, we experience god differently.
- 00:47:00.775 --> 00:47:04.112
- Kirk: laurie, you also described how the ancient israelites used
- 00:47:04.112 --> 00:47:07.949
- To pile up stones in places where god did something really,
- 00:47:07.949 --> 00:47:11.386
- Really important so that they could tell the story later to
- 00:47:11.386 --> 00:47:15.990
- Their children.
- 00:47:15.990 --> 00:47:18.159
- How can we start to pile up stones in our own lives for our
- 00:47:18.159 --> 00:47:22.063
- Own children?
- 00:47:22.063 --> 00:47:23.431
- Laurie: so, it's interesting, they made stone altars, and they
- 00:47:23.431 --> 00:47:26.868
- Did it by piling up stones every time god did something
- 00:47:26.868 --> 00:47:29.637
- Significant, and i love to imagine other israelites walking
- 00:47:29.637 --> 00:47:32.674
- By and seeing these piles and knowing that god had met
- 00:47:32.674 --> 00:47:36.577
- Somebody in that place.
- 00:47:36.577 --> 00:47:37.946
- And then some of them became altars that they returned to and
- 00:47:37.946 --> 00:47:41.015
- Worship god.
- 00:47:41.015 --> 00:47:42.583
- We know bethel was one of those places.
- 00:47:42.583 --> 00:47:45.186
- And what i do in the book is i give you a pile of stones in the
- 00:47:45.186 --> 00:47:48.122
- Last chapter, and so you take one thing from each chapter, and
- 00:47:48.122 --> 00:47:52.360
- You put that in each of the stones so that you have a page
- 00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:55.163
- With a pile of stones that you can look at and know and
- 00:47:55.163 --> 00:47:58.633
- Document god's faithfulness just by looking at that page.
- 00:47:58.633 --> 00:48:02.136
- And i think we need to do that all the time, and also for our
- 00:48:02.136 --> 00:48:05.239
- Children, we need to be telling our stories.
- 00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:07.909
- You know, i think that that's the best evangelism we can do
- 00:48:07.909 --> 00:48:11.446
- For our kids, it's living your faith, not being perfect.
- 00:48:11.446 --> 00:48:15.650
- None of us are perfect, but living your faith, your vibrant
- 00:48:15.650 --> 00:48:18.853
- Relationship with god, and then marking those times when god has
- 00:48:18.853 --> 00:48:22.623
- Done something and tell those stories to your children,
- 00:48:22.623 --> 00:48:25.693
- Because they need to see that.
- 00:48:25.693 --> 00:48:27.595
- That's what a real relationship with god is, i think.
- 00:48:27.595 --> 00:48:30.331
- Kirk: that is such a great idea.
- 00:48:30.331 --> 00:48:32.867
- This is making me wanna go home, go to home depot and get a big
- 00:48:32.867 --> 00:48:36.738
- Pile of stones.
- 00:48:36.738 --> 00:48:38.106
- I wanna go through this, fill this out, and i want my kids to
- 00:48:38.106 --> 00:48:41.175
- Ask me, "grandpa, why do you have these stones in
- 00:48:41.175 --> 00:48:45.446
- Your backyard?"
- 00:48:45.446 --> 00:48:46.814
- "well, let me tell you."
- 00:48:46.814 --> 00:48:48.149
- This sounds great.
- 00:48:48.149 --> 00:48:49.517
- I hope everybody gets this book, "tracking god in your life: how
- 00:48:49.517 --> 00:48:52.020
- To see god's work in your past, experience his presence, and to
- 00:48:52.020 --> 00:48:56.858
- Trust him with your future."
- 00:48:56.858 --> 00:48:58.192
- Laurie, thanks so much for joining us.
- 00:48:58.192 --> 00:48:59.560
- Laurie: thank you so much for having me.
- 00:48:59.560 --> 00:49:00.895
- Kirk: after the break, we'll review today's takeaways.
- 00:49:00.895 --> 00:49:03.731
- [music]
- 00:49:03.731 --> 00:49:09.003
- [music]
- 00:49:09.003 --> 00:49:09.838
- [music]
- 00:49:10.172 --> 00:49:14.209
- Kirk: have you ever struggled to understand how trust is rebuilt
- 00:49:16.512 --> 00:49:19.581
- After it's been broken, or how to trust god when you're in the
- 00:49:19.581 --> 00:49:23.285
- Middle of a story that still feels unfinished?
- 00:49:23.285 --> 00:49:26.488
- Well, in today's conversation with lysa terkeurst and
- 00:49:26.488 --> 00:49:28.757
- Laurie polich short, we talked about wise trust, what it looks
- 00:49:28.757 --> 00:49:33.095
- Like to repair broken relationships,
- 00:49:33.095 --> 00:49:35.197
- And how to remember god's faithfulness.
- 00:49:35.197 --> 00:49:38.367
- Let's take a look at a few of our takeaways.
- 00:49:38.367 --> 00:49:42.071
- Trust equals time plus believable behavior.
- 00:49:42.071 --> 00:49:45.707
- This is so important.
- 00:49:45.707 --> 00:49:47.476
- Lysa said trust is the oxygen of human relationships, and we are
- 00:49:47.476 --> 00:49:52.881
- Not to pursue blind trust, but wise trust.
- 00:49:52.881 --> 00:49:56.952
- So, whether we've caused fractured trust, or we're
- 00:49:56.952 --> 00:50:00.722
- Healing from it, repair doesn't happen instantly.
- 00:50:00.722 --> 00:50:05.327
- Lysa reminded us that it has to be rebuilt over time through
- 00:50:05.327 --> 00:50:09.398
- Believable actions and a commitment to safety
- 00:50:09.398 --> 00:50:13.469
- And connection.
- 00:50:13.469 --> 00:50:14.870
- A great example of this, she said, was the way that we trust
- 00:50:14.870 --> 00:50:17.840
- Our children.
- 00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:19.174
- We give it to them slowly, and then more and more over time as
- 00:50:19.174 --> 00:50:23.512
- They prove to be responsible with it.
- 00:50:23.512 --> 00:50:26.648
- Choose today to give it some time on purpose.
- 00:50:26.648 --> 00:50:30.486
- Don't rush what needs to be rebuilt slowly.
- 00:50:30.486 --> 00:50:34.490
- And be willing to give others time to trust you again.
- 00:50:34.490 --> 00:50:39.995
- Don't overlook red flags.
- 00:50:39.995 --> 00:50:42.064
- Lysa emphasized the importance of not just seeing the potential
- 00:50:42.064 --> 00:50:46.201
- In a relationship, but being honest about the reality
- 00:50:46.201 --> 00:50:50.172
- We're experiencing.
- 00:50:50.172 --> 00:50:51.773
- Why does this matter?
- 00:50:51.773 --> 00:50:53.208
- Because she said red flags don't disappear, they become roots
- 00:50:53.208 --> 00:50:58.080
- Of distrust.
- 00:50:58.080 --> 00:50:59.748
- So what do we do?
- 00:50:59.748 --> 00:51:01.150
- Well, first, we have to call a red flag red.
- 00:51:01.150 --> 00:51:05.120
- Talk through it, listen to wise counsel, because wisdom pays
- 00:51:05.120 --> 00:51:10.159
- Attention to what's actually there, not just what we hope
- 00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:14.296
- Could be there one day.
- 00:51:14.296 --> 00:51:16.465
- If you're currently experiencing a situation where you know
- 00:51:16.465 --> 00:51:19.935
- Something feels off, take your first step by choosing to call
- 00:51:19.935 --> 00:51:24.306
- It what it is, a red flag that cannot be ignored.
- 00:51:24.306 --> 00:51:29.978
- Excavate your own story.
- 00:51:29.978 --> 00:51:31.547
- I love this, laurie encouraged us to not just look back at our
- 00:51:31.547 --> 00:51:35.617
- Stories, but to look back so that we can lean into faith when
- 00:51:35.617 --> 00:51:40.389
- We feel like we're in the dark.
- 00:51:40.389 --> 00:51:43.158
- This is how to begin that excavation.
- 00:51:43.158 --> 00:51:46.061
- Look at the footprints.
- 00:51:46.061 --> 00:51:47.996
- Remember the poem?
- 00:51:47.996 --> 00:51:49.398
- These are the seasons where god carried you.
- 00:51:49.398 --> 00:51:52.935
- Pay attention to the open and the closed doors and stay in the
- 00:51:52.935 --> 00:51:56.572
- Story, because often the middle of a hard season is not the end.
- 00:51:56.572 --> 00:52:02.044
- God seems to like to surprise us, and he's known for flipping
- 00:52:02.044 --> 00:52:06.415
- The script, making our stories look completely different than
- 00:52:06.415 --> 00:52:10.285
- We expected.
- 00:52:10.285 --> 00:52:12.387
- Pile up stones.
- 00:52:12.387 --> 00:52:14.556
- Just like the ancient israelites piled up stones to remember when
- 00:52:14.556 --> 00:52:18.327
- God moved, we can do the same thing by writing down where he's
- 00:52:18.327 --> 00:52:22.831
- Met us, maybe journaling his faithfulness.
- 00:52:22.831 --> 00:52:26.902
- It builds confidence as we move forward, and it can become a
- 00:52:26.902 --> 00:52:31.173
- Powerful form of evangelism, because we won't just remember,
- 00:52:31.173 --> 00:52:35.110
- We'll actually tell the stories to our children and to those
- 00:52:35.110 --> 00:52:39.047
- Around us.
- 00:52:39.047 --> 00:52:40.382
- So here's a challenge, write down and share one of those
- 00:52:40.382 --> 00:52:44.086
- Stories from your life with a child or friend this week.
- 00:52:44.086 --> 00:52:49.391
- Well, that's all for this episode of "takeaways."
- 00:52:49.391 --> 00:52:51.560
- Thanks for watching.
- 00:52:51.560 --> 00:52:52.928
- And if you've enjoyed the show, don't forget to set your dvr so
- 00:52:52.928 --> 00:52:56.231
- You never miss an episode.
- 00:52:56.231 --> 00:52:57.666
- And of course, you can always catch up on past episodes by
- 00:52:57.666 --> 00:53:00.902
- Searching for takeaways on tbn+ or by visiting the kirk cameron
- 00:53:00.902 --> 00:53:05.907
- On tbn youtube channel.
- 00:53:05.907 --> 00:53:08.210
- We'll see you here next time for more great conversations.
- 00:53:08.210 --> 00:53:11.680
- [music]
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- [music]
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