Better Together LIVE | Episode 80 | TBN

Better Together LIVE | Episode 80

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 80
July 24, 2020
25:29

What happens if we don't forgive? Forgiveness and restoration can lead to rebuilding trust; relationships; and freedom. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 80

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  • - Have you ever heldon to resentment,
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  • offense or bitterness?
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  • You know God is the only onewho can truly set us free
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  • from painful memories and hurt.
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  • Choosing to forgive willbring healing to our hearts
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  • and hope to our relationship.
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  • Come on, let's talk about it.
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  • (upbeat music)
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  • - God was telling meclearly to share my story
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  • of when I was growing up,
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  • I was molested andsexually abused
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  • by family members andolder people in the church,
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  • because my parentswere really busy,
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  • growing up and they werebuilding the ministry
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  • and they were in theearly stages of then,
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  • of course, they did everythingthat they knew to do.
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  • However, the people that Iwould be left with would...
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  • I would either beexposed to something
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  • that I shouldn't be exposed to.
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  • Or like, one lady, her teenageson would do things to me.
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  • And this is actually myfirst time sharing it on...
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  • Like, out loud.
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  • But it was something that I'dstruggle with for a long time
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  • because it opened the doorfor so many other things
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  • like porn addiction, I wasaddicted to porn at seven.
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  • And from seven to like 15,
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  • I mean, it was something,It was almost like,
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  • I had to watch it every night.
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  • So I clearly knew what it was,
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  • I knew what wasbeing done to me,
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  • I knew how certain things...
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  • I enjoyed certain things,but then I didn't.
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  • But as I got older, Irealized how it affected me
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  • with my relationshipwith those people
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  • and with my relationshipwith my husband
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  • and then it trickleddown into my girls.
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  • And,
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  • I don't think I realized
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  • that I hadn't forgiven thepeople like I thought I did,
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  • when there was a situationthat occurred with my girls.
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  • They were...
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  • I am...
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  • First of all, I could be ahelicopter parent, (laughs)
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  • if it wasn't forthe grace of God,
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  • just out of fear ofwhat happened to mewhen I was younger.
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  • But years ago, I had aconversation with my mom
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  • and,
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  • I was having a hardtime forgiving myself
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  • as to what I didto other people,
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  • and forgiving the people.
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  • It was three cousins,
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  • a girl I went to school with
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  • and then a older guy, hewas probably like, six,
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  • maybe eight years older than me,
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  • that I had to forgive for thethings that they did to me.
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  • And,
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  • it had to be thehardest thing to do,
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  • when I was in college andI actually saw the guy
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  • and to look him into his face,
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  • and I realized then I hadn'tlet go of what was done.
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  • Because now as achild, I didn't know.
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  • When he first did what he did,
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  • I didn't know that it hurtme the way that it did.
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  • So seeing him was nothing,
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  • until I was old enough torealize what was done to me
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  • and then to see him,
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  • it caused like anunsettling in my spirit.
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  • I talked to my mom aboutit, we had a conversation
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  • and she's like, "Okay, thisis what you have to do.
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  • "You have toforgive these people
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  • "and you have to let that go.
  • 00:04:06.336 --> 00:04:07.670
  • "Like you and what youdid to the other people,
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  • "you were a kid, like youhave to forgive yourself,
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  • "you have to askGod for forgiveness.
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  • "And now begin towalk in there."
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  • Of course, she'scrying, she's sad
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  • and she's like, "I neverknew all of these things."
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  • But, okay, now I could lookthese people in their face,
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  • but now I'm carrying this fear
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  • on to my relationshipwith my husband
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  • and now with my girlsand with the people
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  • that they're around.
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  • And I realized how muchI didn't fully let it go
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  • when I went off onmy husband's mother
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  • and it was so terrible.
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  • I ended up havingto apologize to her
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  • but she allow his older nephew
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  • to be in the bathroomwith my girls.
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  • Of course, it was all innocent,
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  • she was there, theywould taking a bath,
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  • they probably were like two.
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  • But for me, it wasn't innocent,
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  • because I knew whathad been done to me.
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  • And I automatically putwhat had been done to me,
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  • on to her in a completelyinnocent and pure situation.
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  • And I spazzed.
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  • I tell you, I had to askfor forgiveness for that
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  • after I finished,from God and for her.
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  • But, I then have togo through a process,
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  • a more in depthprocess with my husband
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  • and knowing that the thingsthat he's doing to me
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  • or that he asked of mesexually as in his right,
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  • I have to know that
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  • he values me.
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  • And its not coming froma place of hurt or harm,
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  • or what the otherpeople had done to me.
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  • I had to, it waslike phases of it.
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  • So it was first forgivingthe people and letting it go,
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  • being able to see them and theneven being able to verbalize
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  • and share my story,
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  • having to not putthat fear on my girls
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  • and just use it aswisdom, opposed to now,
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  • I'm being paranoid aboutsomething happening
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  • and then just usingwisdom to how they operate
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  • and who they're around.
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  • Instead of being in fear
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  • that something'sgonna happen to them
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  • and now not putting thatsame sin from somebody else
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  • on my husband.
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  • And so It was somany different levels
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  • that I had to peel back
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  • in order to completelybe healed from that.
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  • And that was something thatI couldn't do on my own,
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  • I needed a team of people,
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  • I needed God for sure
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  • and I had to fully trustHim and put everything
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  • into my relationship with Him.
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  • And that's why I thinkit's so important for me
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  • to trust God and His word,
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  • because I'm able tonow share this story,
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  • with out feeling anger,or without feeling fear
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  • that this is gonnahappen to my kids
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  • or without having unnecessarytension in between my husband.
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  • The fact that I'mable to stay here now,
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  • and do what I'm--
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  • Or sit here now anddo what I'm doing,
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  • shows that everything that I put
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  • into my relationshipwith God truly restore
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  • and truly help heal and truly,
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  • just allow certaindoors to open.
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  • It's like forgiveness isthe path to restoration.
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  • And once I forgave whathappened to me there,
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  • now it was like I was able
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  • to get on this pathof restoration and...
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  • - Wow.
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  • - That is...
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  • Yeah, that is... (laughs)
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  • Dr. Robyn, I mean, this isone of the biggest things now.
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  • - Yes.
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  • Well, yeah, it isdefinitely heavy
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  • but I'm so happy tobe able to share it
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  • because I know it's somany people right now
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  • who may struggle withdifferent things like that,
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  • but it's get you a teamof good people around you,
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  • to help you and fullytrust God and His word.
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  • - We overcome by theword of our testimony.
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  • And that's what you'redoing right now,
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  • we overcome by confessing,is what James says.
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  • James says that when weconfess and we tell it,
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  • we're healed.
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  • And I'm so grateful,that I got to be here
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  • when you shared your testimony
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  • of deliverance and overcoming,because you're right,
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  • you're sharing a victory story.
  • 00:09:00.963 --> 00:09:04.066
  • Here's the amazing principle,
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  • nothing happens to me,it only happens for me.
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  • And so today, Brittney,
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  • you're taking this reallyterrible experience
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  • and allowing itto be transformed,
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  • so that you nowcan use it to be,
  • 00:09:23.953 --> 00:09:28.090
  • not that you would everwant it to have happened,
  • 00:09:28.090 --> 00:09:31.027
  • but it can change who youare to be this different mom,
  • 00:09:31.027 --> 00:09:35.965
  • a different wife,a different pastor
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  • than you ever would have been.
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  • So, compassion leadsto forgiveness.
  • 00:09:41.370 --> 00:09:46.375
  • And that is the principlethat's in the Scripture,
  • 00:09:47.810 --> 00:09:50.413
  • "He will again havecompassion on us.
  • 00:09:50.413 --> 00:09:53.649
  • "He will tread ouriniquities underfoot.
  • 00:09:53.649 --> 00:09:57.887
  • "You will cast all your sinsinto the depth of the sea."
  • 00:09:57.887 --> 00:10:01.924
  • Is what Micah 7:19, says.
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  • And that's how we becomeforgiven and free,
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  • don't you agree, Laurie?
  • 00:10:08.931 --> 00:10:10.533
  • - Yeah, I totally believe that.
  • 00:10:11.967 --> 00:10:14.603
  • Sheila, what's the difference
  • 00:10:14.603 --> 00:10:15.971
  • between forgivenessand restoration?
  • 00:10:15.971 --> 00:10:18.507
  • - Yeah, I think that's avery important distinction.
  • 00:10:20.176 --> 00:10:23.345
  • Because I'm thinking,
  • 00:10:23.345 --> 00:10:24.380
  • I mean, Brittney,yay, you for sharing.
  • 00:10:25.715 --> 00:10:29.518
  • I mean, you just putthe enemy in the corner,
  • 00:10:29.518 --> 00:10:32.888
  • it's just, well done girl,we're so proud of you.
  • 00:10:32.888 --> 00:10:36.826
  • But there's--
  • 00:10:36.826 --> 00:10:38.294
  • I'm thinking of peoplewho have maybe experienced
  • 00:10:38.294 --> 00:10:39.528
  • some kind of abusein their childhood.
  • 00:10:39.528 --> 00:10:42.164
  • And you can forgive thatperson so you're free,
  • 00:10:42.164 --> 00:10:45.167
  • but it doesn't meanyou have to be restored
  • 00:10:45.167 --> 00:10:47.136
  • to relationship.
  • 00:10:47.136 --> 00:10:48.571
  • You know, to me,forgiveness is something
  • 00:10:48.571 --> 00:10:50.172
  • that is a transactionbetween you and God.
  • 00:10:50.172 --> 00:10:52.274
  • But if someone is notgenuinely repentant,
  • 00:10:52.274 --> 00:10:55.177
  • you don't have toput yourself back
  • 00:10:55.177 --> 00:10:56.846
  • in a situation like that.
  • 00:10:56.846 --> 00:10:58.514
  • When my son Christianwas a little boy,
  • 00:10:58.514 --> 00:11:00.416
  • I picked him upfrom school one day,
  • 00:11:00.416 --> 00:11:02.184
  • and I could tell himand I saw his face,
  • 00:11:02.184 --> 00:11:04.053
  • that he'd had a bad day.
  • 00:11:04.053 --> 00:11:06.222
  • And so we went toice cream parlor,
  • 00:11:06.222 --> 00:11:08.290
  • which tends to make him talk.
  • 00:11:08.290 --> 00:11:10.025
  • And he said, "Mom,do you wanna know
  • 00:11:10.025 --> 00:11:11.794
  • "what happened to me today?"
  • 00:11:11.794 --> 00:11:13.028
  • And I said, "Yeah,I do darling."
  • 00:11:13.028 --> 00:11:14.830
  • And he said that his best friend
  • 00:11:14.830 --> 00:11:16.365
  • knocked over Christian's deskand all the pencils spilled.
  • 00:11:16.365 --> 00:11:19.702
  • And he said, "Mom, andthe teacher turned around,
  • 00:11:19.702 --> 00:11:21.137
  • "she thought it was me.
  • 00:11:21.137 --> 00:11:22.404
  • "And and I said, no, itwasn't me, it was..."
  • 00:11:22.404 --> 00:11:24.540
  • And he named his best friend.
  • 00:11:24.540 --> 00:11:25.875
  • And he said, "I gotinto trouble twice,
  • 00:11:25.875 --> 00:11:27.543
  • "once for tattling, and oncefor knocking over my desk.
  • 00:11:27.543 --> 00:11:30.579
  • "So I said to myfriend at lunchtime,
  • 00:11:30.579 --> 00:11:32.114
  • "listen, you need to go tellthe teacher that you did it.
  • 00:11:32.114 --> 00:11:34.216
  • "and my friend said, 'No,I'm not gonna do that.'"
  • 00:11:34.216 --> 00:11:37.119
  • So my son madethis announcement.
  • 00:11:37.119 --> 00:11:38.721
  • "So mom, here's my decision.
  • 00:11:38.721 --> 00:11:40.156
  • "He is off my prayer list,
  • 00:11:40.156 --> 00:11:42.124
  • "he's no longerone of my friends."
  • 00:11:42.124 --> 00:11:43.659
  • And I said, "I totally getit dude, I totally get it."
  • 00:11:43.659 --> 00:11:46.929
  • But that night, Iasked Christian,
  • 00:11:46.929 --> 00:11:48.597
  • if he'd come for a walk with me,
  • 00:11:48.597 --> 00:11:49.832
  • he was in his PJ's.
  • 00:11:49.832 --> 00:11:51.300
  • And I said, "Would youget that big bag of flour
  • 00:11:51.300 --> 00:11:52.935
  • "that I bought at Costco?"
  • 00:11:52.935 --> 00:11:54.970
  • So he got it.
  • 00:11:54.970 --> 00:11:56.505
  • And I said, "You and I aregonna go on an adventure."
  • 00:11:56.505 --> 00:11:58.808
  • And we started to walk,
  • 00:11:58.808 --> 00:12:00.276
  • we used to live near agolf course in Nashville.
  • 00:12:00.276 --> 00:12:02.344
  • And Christian, he's like six
  • 00:12:02.344 --> 00:12:03.913
  • and he's holding thishuge, big bag of flour.
  • 00:12:03.913 --> 00:12:05.481
  • And I'm like, "We're nearlythere, we're nearly there."
  • 00:12:05.481 --> 00:12:07.383
  • And he's like, "Mom is tooheavy, it's too heavy."
  • 00:12:07.383 --> 00:12:10.019
  • And eventually he dropped it.
  • 00:12:10.019 --> 00:12:11.921
  • And I sat down withhim and I said,
  • 00:12:11.921 --> 00:12:13.455
  • "Babe, that's what it lookslike when you want forgive.
  • 00:12:13.455 --> 00:12:15.224
  • "You're the one out herecarrying this weight.
  • 00:12:15.224 --> 00:12:18.194
  • "Your friends probably beenasleep for 20 minutes."
  • 00:12:18.194 --> 00:12:20.396
  • You want life tobe fair, we all do.
  • 00:12:20.396 --> 00:12:23.232
  • But the truth is,life is not fair,
  • 00:12:23.232 --> 00:12:25.401
  • and that's why Jesus came.
  • 00:12:25.401 --> 00:12:27.069
  • And forgiveness isn't aboutmaking you a good person,
  • 00:12:27.069 --> 00:12:29.905
  • it's a gift.
  • 00:12:29.905 --> 00:12:31.473
  • And I think I said onmaybe on Tuesday's program,
  • 00:12:31.473 --> 00:12:33.742
  • forgiveness is God'sgift us to be free.
  • 00:12:33.742 --> 00:12:37.179
  • I was studying acouple of nights ago
  • 00:12:37.179 --> 00:12:39.048
  • the New Testamentcommentary by Warren Wiersbe
  • 00:12:39.048 --> 00:12:42.585
  • and I wrote this down.
  • 00:12:42.585 --> 00:12:44.053
  • He said,
  • 00:12:44.053 --> 00:12:44.887
  • "The world's worst prison
  • 00:12:46.021 --> 00:12:48.390
  • is the prison of anunforgiving heart."
  • 00:12:48.390 --> 00:12:50.993
  • "The world's worst prison
  • 00:12:50.993 --> 00:12:52.261
  • "is the prison of anunforgiving heart."
  • 00:12:52.261 --> 00:12:54.263
  • There are some things thatmay have happened to you,
  • 00:12:54.263 --> 00:12:57.199
  • just as they happen to Brittney,
  • 00:12:57.199 --> 00:12:58.834
  • and you think, "How amI supposed to forgive?"
  • 00:12:58.834 --> 00:13:01.303
  • And it's about you being free.
  • 00:13:01.303 --> 00:13:03.505
  • It's not about saying whatthat person did was right,
  • 00:13:03.505 --> 00:13:05.875
  • it's not even about younecessarily being reconciled
  • 00:13:05.875 --> 00:13:08.043
  • with that person, ifthere's no change of heart,
  • 00:13:08.043 --> 00:13:10.145
  • it's simply God wantsto set you free.
  • 00:13:10.145 --> 00:13:13.983
  • What do you thinkabout that, Janice?
  • 00:13:15.150 --> 00:13:16.919
  • - I think, yes.
  • 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:18.053
  • I think that isbrilliant and it's true.
  • 00:13:18.053 --> 00:13:21.423
  • Brittney, I have asimilar testimony.
  • 00:13:21.423 --> 00:13:23.926
  • And I wanna tell youthat I am so proud of you
  • 00:13:23.926 --> 00:13:27.696
  • and I love you and I wishI could just hug you.
  • 00:13:27.696 --> 00:13:30.299
  • And I know we don't knoweach other super well,
  • 00:13:30.299 --> 00:13:33.435
  • but I feel like we do.
  • 00:13:33.435 --> 00:13:34.536
  • So you know. (laughs)
  • 00:13:34.536 --> 00:13:36.005
  • - We do, we do.
  • 00:13:36.005 --> 00:13:37.740
  • - Yeah, I'm so proud ofyou in the sense that,
  • 00:13:37.740 --> 00:13:42.745
  • wow, I know that took a lot
  • 00:13:43.612 --> 00:13:45.080
  • and honored to be amongstthe women to hear this
  • 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:48.651
  • with the other people watching.
  • 00:13:48.651 --> 00:13:50.286
  • But one of the things I'verealized along the way
  • 00:13:50.286 --> 00:13:54.556
  • is that, yes, I didhave to forgive.
  • 00:13:54.556 --> 00:13:57.126
  • And restoration has looked alot like actual counseling.
  • 00:13:57.126 --> 00:14:02.131
  • (laughs)
  • 00:14:02.631 --> 00:14:04.133
  • So that as a mom, I know whathealthy boundaries look like
  • 00:14:04.133 --> 00:14:08.437
  • and not boundaries out of fear.
  • 00:14:09.305 --> 00:14:10.472
  • Or I know how tocommunicate discomfort
  • 00:14:10.472 --> 00:14:14.743
  • in a way that's assertive,instead of aggressive,
  • 00:14:16.478 --> 00:14:20.549
  • you know what I mean?
  • 00:14:20.549 --> 00:14:21.817
  • Like I've had to haveto have help for that.
  • 00:14:21.817 --> 00:14:24.553
  • Because they say statistically,
  • 00:14:24.553 --> 00:14:26.155
  • a lot of people who were abused,
  • 00:14:26.155 --> 00:14:27.523
  • their kids do get abused,
  • 00:14:27.523 --> 00:14:28.757
  • because they don'teven see the signs.
  • 00:14:28.757 --> 00:14:30.326
  • And so I've gonethrough counseling
  • 00:14:30.326 --> 00:14:32.461
  • and done a lot of prayer.
  • 00:14:32.461 --> 00:14:34.229
  • I shared my testimony withmy family members first,
  • 00:14:34.229 --> 00:14:38.500
  • 'cause I knew, one daythe Lord is gonna ask me
  • 00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:40.536
  • to talk about this and Iwant them to know first.
  • 00:14:40.536 --> 00:14:44.540
  • But you know what I'm saying?
  • 00:14:44.540 --> 00:14:45.774
  • And so it's been yearsof talking to family
  • 00:14:45.774 --> 00:14:47.609
  • and counseling to be restored,
  • 00:14:47.609 --> 00:14:50.646
  • so that I can manage thatdecision for forgiveness.
  • 00:14:50.646 --> 00:14:54.283
  • But yes, I think you'reabsolutely right Sheila.
  • 00:14:55.484 --> 00:14:57.920
  • And I don't intendto be reconciled
  • 00:14:57.920 --> 00:15:00.923
  • with those people per se,
  • 00:15:00.923 --> 00:15:02.358
  • because they've notnecessarily been repentant,
  • 00:15:02.358 --> 00:15:05.527
  • but I'm also notangry with them.
  • 00:15:05.527 --> 00:15:07.596
  • And like you said, Dr. Robyn,
  • 00:15:07.596 --> 00:15:09.732
  • that these things alongwith other things,
  • 00:15:09.732 --> 00:15:13.135
  • it's amazing how thegospel of Jesus Christ
  • 00:15:13.135 --> 00:15:15.838
  • actually does this, it's areal transaction in your heart.
  • 00:15:15.838 --> 00:15:19.875
  • It's amazing howon the other side,
  • 00:15:19.875 --> 00:15:21.677
  • you can say, thesethings happened for me,
  • 00:15:21.677 --> 00:15:25.147
  • because the Lord hasand will continue
  • 00:15:25.147 --> 00:15:28.017
  • to use them for good.
  • 00:15:28.017 --> 00:15:31.020
  • And right now Brittney,I want you to know
  • 00:15:31.020 --> 00:15:33.422
  • that this is tuckedinto your good
  • 00:15:33.422 --> 00:15:36.291
  • in the fact that thereare people watching.
  • 00:15:36.291 --> 00:15:39.561
  • I mean, the statistics arethrough the roof on this,
  • 00:15:39.561 --> 00:15:42.364
  • there are peoplewatching who did not know
  • 00:15:42.364 --> 00:15:45.200
  • that they wouldbe watching today
  • 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:46.502
  • and that they wouldreceive instruction
  • 00:15:46.502 --> 00:15:48.871
  • from how to get from thatplace to the next place.
  • 00:15:48.871 --> 00:15:52.474
  • And so thank youfor your honesty,
  • 00:15:52.474 --> 00:15:55.744
  • your heart, your tears,
  • 00:15:55.744 --> 00:15:57.980
  • because I did have acounselor tell me one time,
  • 00:15:57.980 --> 00:16:01.050
  • because it took me so long tobe able to cry about things,
  • 00:16:01.050 --> 00:16:04.386
  • she said, "Youknow, the lord says
  • 00:16:06.688 --> 00:16:09.058
  • "that he bottles are tears.
  • 00:16:09.058 --> 00:16:10.592
  • "We don't know what he'sgoing to do with them,
  • 00:16:10.592 --> 00:16:12.294
  • "but don't you wannahave your share?"
  • 00:16:12.294 --> 00:16:14.563
  • And so I wanna encourage youthat those tears are important,
  • 00:16:14.563 --> 00:16:17.533
  • they're important,for whatever reason
  • 00:16:17.533 --> 00:16:20.069
  • the Lord's bottling them for
  • 00:16:20.069 --> 00:16:21.470
  • and they're importantfor people to see.
  • 00:16:21.470 --> 00:16:24.106
  • And yes, there will be a timewhen you press that wound,
  • 00:16:24.106 --> 00:16:28.010
  • and what?
  • 00:16:28.010 --> 00:16:29.111
  • And tears don't come out,
  • 00:16:29.111 --> 00:16:30.679
  • but strength from the joy ofthe Lord is what comes out
  • 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:34.783
  • even, even, even more.
  • 00:16:34.783 --> 00:16:36.718
  • And so he'll continueto transform youfrom glory to glory,
  • 00:16:36.718 --> 00:16:39.788
  • as you take that into Hispresence, beholding His face
  • 00:16:39.788 --> 00:16:44.026
  • in the coming days.
  • 00:16:44.026 --> 00:16:45.494
  • So I will be praying for youand for every person out there,
  • 00:16:45.494 --> 00:16:48.831
  • it's not just a woman thing,this is a human thing.
  • 00:16:48.831 --> 00:16:53.802
  • If we even think about ladies,
  • 00:16:54.670 --> 00:16:56.472
  • like sex traffickingthat's happening right now,
  • 00:16:56.472 --> 00:16:59.608
  • we're thinking aboutall of the hurts
  • 00:16:59.608 --> 00:17:02.044
  • that have honestly comeup in this season of life
  • 00:17:02.044 --> 00:17:05.814
  • to be focused on.
  • 00:17:05.814 --> 00:17:07.049
  • There's a huge companythat's been accused
  • 00:17:07.049 --> 00:17:09.585
  • of trafficking children.
  • 00:17:09.585 --> 00:17:12.354
  • And one of the thingsI've realized is,
  • 00:17:12.354 --> 00:17:16.558
  • I have experienced hurts,through abuse as a kid
  • 00:17:18.460 --> 00:17:23.465
  • or through racism asa kid or an adult,
  • 00:17:24.633 --> 00:17:27.870
  • but I...
  • 00:17:27.870 --> 00:17:29.371
  • This is why, the way wemove forward is repentance
  • 00:17:29.371 --> 00:17:33.175
  • and coming to the Lordand humbling ourselves.
  • 00:17:33.175 --> 00:17:36.111
  • It's because, whena story came out
  • 00:17:36.111 --> 00:17:38.614
  • about a large companypossibly being involved,
  • 00:17:38.614 --> 00:17:41.216
  • I realized I've purchasedthings from that company
  • 00:17:41.216 --> 00:17:44.653
  • on discount before.
  • 00:17:44.653 --> 00:17:46.088
  • And because we'veall to some degree,
  • 00:17:46.088 --> 00:17:48.957
  • either benefited from,
  • 00:17:48.957 --> 00:17:51.160
  • whether we participatedin willingly or not,
  • 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:54.129
  • because humanitymoves in such a way
  • 00:17:54.129 --> 00:17:56.899
  • that we will participatein the injustice of others,
  • 00:17:56.899 --> 00:18:00.736
  • whether it's abuse, or it'sracism, or it's sex trafficking,
  • 00:18:00.736 --> 00:18:04.973
  • we all have to repent
  • 00:18:04.973 --> 00:18:06.675
  • and 'cause I think that'show we move forward.
  • 00:18:06.675 --> 00:18:09.077
  • Repent and ask theLord for forgiveness
  • 00:18:09.077 --> 00:18:12.014
  • for how things havehappened on our watch
  • 00:18:12.014 --> 00:18:16.885
  • as the church, right?
  • 00:18:16.885 --> 00:18:18.921
  • And it's from that place
  • 00:18:18.921 --> 00:18:20.389
  • that as we humble ourselvesto repent, to turn,
  • 00:18:20.389 --> 00:18:23.325
  • seek the Lord's face and pray,
  • 00:18:23.325 --> 00:18:25.494
  • that I think we will begin tostart seeing personal healing,
  • 00:18:25.494 --> 00:18:28.830
  • we'll start seeing healingin the body of Christ,
  • 00:18:28.830 --> 00:18:31.934
  • and I think it'llflow out to the world.
  • 00:18:31.934 --> 00:18:34.036
  • Because I think the world willsee, they've got the answer,
  • 00:18:34.036 --> 00:18:37.673
  • and I think then they'regonna flock into the church,
  • 00:18:37.673 --> 00:18:40.142
  • "We want some of what you have."
  • 00:18:40.142 --> 00:18:43.078
  • Right?
  • 00:18:43.078 --> 00:18:44.613
  • I don't know, what do youthink about that Brittney?
  • 00:18:44.613 --> 00:18:46.682
  • - I'm so glad youmentioned counseling
  • 00:18:46.682 --> 00:18:49.318
  • because I talked about actuallyon Better Together before,
  • 00:18:49.318 --> 00:18:53.055
  • about therapy.
  • 00:18:53.055 --> 00:18:54.489
  • Sometimes as Christians,
  • 00:18:54.489 --> 00:18:56.458
  • we feel like weshouldn't need therapy,
  • 00:18:56.458 --> 00:18:59.127
  • but it's like any other doctor.
  • 00:18:59.127 --> 00:19:04.132
  • Like if something'swrong with your heart,
  • 00:19:05.334 --> 00:19:06.568
  • you're going to goto the cardiologist,
  • 00:19:06.568 --> 00:19:08.637
  • if something's wrongwith your kidney,
  • 00:19:08.637 --> 00:19:10.038
  • you're gonna go to urologist.
  • 00:19:10.038 --> 00:19:11.707
  • If...
  • 00:19:11.707 --> 00:19:12.874
  • Like me, I haveglasses, I need to see,
  • 00:19:12.874 --> 00:19:16.144
  • so I wear glasses so ithelps me or contacts.
  • 00:19:16.144 --> 00:19:20.015
  • And a lot of times we strugglewith the natural steps,
  • 00:19:20.015 --> 00:19:24.987
  • we see all theScriptures on forgiveness
  • 00:19:26.622 --> 00:19:29.124
  • and how God forgives us,
  • 00:19:29.124 --> 00:19:31.627
  • but we don't necessarily knowhow to do certain things.
  • 00:19:31.627 --> 00:19:36.632
  • And a lot of times,spiritual therapists
  • 00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:41.336
  • or Christiantherapists can help you
  • 00:19:41.336 --> 00:19:44.072
  • get the Christian steps,I mean, the natural steps
  • 00:19:44.072 --> 00:19:47.809
  • that you need in orderto overcome your thoughts
  • 00:19:47.809 --> 00:19:52.047
  • and in order to help youset up healthy boundaries.
  • 00:19:52.047 --> 00:19:55.784
  • 'Cause I actuallydid that myself,
  • 00:19:55.784 --> 00:19:58.220
  • going through the processand it greatly helped,
  • 00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:03.225
  • because there wasa lot of things
  • 00:20:04.393 --> 00:20:05.627
  • that I needed toforgive people for
  • 00:20:05.627 --> 00:20:08.230
  • and that I neededto be forgiven for
  • 00:20:08.230 --> 00:20:11.600
  • and to be completely free.
  • 00:20:11.600 --> 00:20:13.969
  • Sheila you mentionedabout how we can forgive
  • 00:20:16.171 --> 00:20:20.008
  • but it doesn't necessarily mean
  • 00:20:20.008 --> 00:20:22.010
  • that restoration has to happen,
  • 00:20:22.010 --> 00:20:24.146
  • I wholeheartedlyagree with that.
  • 00:20:24.146 --> 00:20:27.482
  • But there are certain situations
  • 00:20:27.482 --> 00:20:30.218
  • where we do haveto now be restored,
  • 00:20:30.218 --> 00:20:35.123
  • 'cause some of these peoplewere my family members
  • 00:20:36.491 --> 00:20:38.060
  • and if you see us now,
  • 00:20:38.060 --> 00:20:40.228
  • you would have never thoughtwhat happened, happened.
  • 00:20:40.228 --> 00:20:44.666
  • Because of we're suchin a healthy place now,
  • 00:20:44.666 --> 00:20:49.638
  • but like I was saying earlier,
  • 00:20:50.505 --> 00:20:51.973
  • forgiveness help...
  • 00:20:51.973 --> 00:20:53.208
  • That is that pathto restoration.
  • 00:20:53.208 --> 00:20:56.812
  • Like to be able toforgive my cousin,
  • 00:20:56.812 --> 00:20:59.681
  • to love her and him and beable to look in their eyes
  • 00:20:59.681 --> 00:21:04.252
  • and then still carry on likethey never did a thing to me.
  • 00:21:04.252 --> 00:21:08.623
  • Like I...
  • 00:21:08.623 --> 00:21:11.360
  • Sometimes (laughs)
  • 00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:13.862
  • you have to be inthose situations,
  • 00:21:13.862 --> 00:21:15.564
  • so it's kind oflike, what do you do?
  • 00:21:15.564 --> 00:21:17.132
  • How do you set uphealthy boundaries?
  • 00:21:17.132 --> 00:21:19.334
  • How do now you love thisperson like God loves us?
  • 00:21:19.334 --> 00:21:23.338
  • Or some of you maybe your spouse,
  • 00:21:23.338 --> 00:21:26.308
  • your spouse couldhave cheated on you
  • 00:21:26.308 --> 00:21:28.977
  • and now you're dealing with,
  • 00:21:28.977 --> 00:21:31.646
  • okay, how do I now restore?
  • 00:21:31.646 --> 00:21:35.851
  • Like I forgave you forwhat you did to me,
  • 00:21:35.851 --> 00:21:38.987
  • but yet, now I stillwanna get a divorce.
  • 00:21:38.987 --> 00:21:41.790
  • However, like I had aconversation with my uncle
  • 00:21:41.790 --> 00:21:44.659
  • and he explained howlove has boundaries,
  • 00:21:44.659 --> 00:21:48.029
  • and there aredifferent levels of it.
  • 00:21:48.029 --> 00:21:50.999
  • Like, you're supposedto love your enemies,
  • 00:21:50.999 --> 00:21:53.735
  • and then as Christians,we love one another
  • 00:21:53.735 --> 00:21:56.271
  • like God loves us.
  • 00:21:56.271 --> 00:21:57.506
  • And then in themarital relationship,
  • 00:21:57.506 --> 00:22:00.642
  • we love our spouse likeJesus loves the church.
  • 00:22:00.642 --> 00:22:04.246
  • There is nothing that we asa church can do for Jesus
  • 00:22:04.246 --> 00:22:08.950
  • to stop loving us,
  • 00:22:08.950 --> 00:22:10.352
  • nothing.
  • 00:22:11.820 --> 00:22:13.088
  • So some people may see that.
  • 00:22:13.088 --> 00:22:16.458
  • I mean, I know there otherthe things that we say okay,
  • 00:22:16.458 --> 00:22:19.161
  • adultery, addiction andabuse we can get out.
  • 00:22:19.161 --> 00:22:22.798
  • But I really truly believethere are some people
  • 00:22:22.798 --> 00:22:25.867
  • who have made certain mistakes,
  • 00:22:25.867 --> 00:22:27.869
  • that your relationshipcan be restored.
  • 00:22:27.869 --> 00:22:30.238
  • And therapy will help.
  • 00:22:30.238 --> 00:22:32.541
  • Or counseling with your pastor.
  • 00:22:32.541 --> 00:22:34.609
  • Or getting yourself arounda good group of people
  • 00:22:34.609 --> 00:22:38.580
  • if both spousesare totally willing
  • 00:22:38.580 --> 00:22:41.883
  • to restore thatrelationship, it is possible.
  • 00:22:41.883 --> 00:22:46.354
  • But forgiveness will createthat path to restoration.
  • 00:22:46.354 --> 00:22:51.059
  • So, at the end ofthe day, like I said,
  • 00:22:51.059 --> 00:22:54.563
  • it all boils down to beinga big girl or a big boy
  • 00:22:54.563 --> 00:22:59.501
  • and deciding what fruitdo you want to see
  • 00:22:59.501 --> 00:23:03.038
  • from this situation.
  • 00:23:03.038 --> 00:23:05.941
  • How do you want God toget the glory in this?
  • 00:23:05.941 --> 00:23:09.044
  • Or how can God get theglory in this situation?
  • 00:23:09.044 --> 00:23:11.847
  • Yes, something happened,
  • 00:23:11.847 --> 00:23:13.582
  • but now how can you take this
  • 00:23:13.582 --> 00:23:16.718
  • and now make sure Godgets the glory for it
  • 00:23:16.718 --> 00:23:19.054
  • and He turns the good andthe bad into somebody's good.
  • 00:23:19.054 --> 00:23:24.059
  • So, Dr. Robin.
  • 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:27.629
  • - Brittney, you are oneamazing, positive girl.
  • 00:23:27.629 --> 00:23:32.567
  • You're a warrior!
  • 00:23:33.268 --> 00:23:33.835
  • You're a warrior becauseyou have definitely,
  • 00:23:35.537 --> 00:23:39.040
  • turned that situation aroundand I am so proud of you.
  • 00:23:39.040 --> 00:23:43.011
  • You know, the Bible says,
  • 00:23:43.011 --> 00:23:44.546
  • "We know that all things worktogether for the good of those
  • 00:23:44.546 --> 00:23:49.551
  • "who love God, thosewhom He has called
  • 00:23:50.719 --> 00:23:53.922
  • "according to His plan."
  • 00:23:53.922 --> 00:23:56.758
  • Let's pray together.
  • 00:23:56.758 --> 00:23:58.193
  • Father we lift up, everyfriend watching now,
  • 00:23:58.193 --> 00:24:03.198
  • those who have sufferedthrough circumstances
  • 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:09.137
  • that they thoughtthey could not endure,
  • 00:24:09.137 --> 00:24:11.840
  • God we know that youhave a plan for them.
  • 00:24:11.840 --> 00:24:16.845
  • We know God, that you canbring us through all things.
  • 00:24:18.280 --> 00:24:21.883
  • And today God, welift up our friends
  • 00:24:23.051 --> 00:24:25.754
  • and we ask that you willheal, you will bring victory
  • 00:24:25.754 --> 00:24:30.625
  • and like Brittney's story,they will be able to overcome
  • 00:24:30.625 --> 00:24:34.930
  • with the word oftheir testimony.
  • 00:24:34.930 --> 00:24:37.732
  • In Jesus name, amen, amen.
  • 00:24:37.732 --> 00:24:41.770
  • Amen!
  • 00:24:41.770 --> 00:24:42.571
  • - Amen.
  • 00:24:42.571 --> 00:24:43.438
  • - Hallelujah, wonderful.
  • 00:24:43.438 --> 00:24:45.140
  • - You know our BetterTogether community
  • 00:24:45.140 --> 00:24:46.708
  • is always here for you.
  • 00:24:46.708 --> 00:24:48.209
  • You can connect withus on social media
  • 00:24:48.209 --> 00:24:49.678
  • and let us know howwe can pray for you.
  • 00:24:49.678 --> 00:24:52.080
  • Thank you for joining us today.
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  • If you've missed any of ourconversations this week,
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  • you can watch themat bettertogether.tv
  • 00:24:56.518 --> 00:24:59.287
  • or on the TBN app.
  • 00:24:59.287 --> 00:25:00.989
  • On Monday, join us
  • 00:25:00.989 --> 00:25:02.490
  • for some of our favoriteBetter Together episodes.
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  • We've had somegreat conversations
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  • about loving our neighbors,
  • 00:25:07.362 --> 00:25:08.763
  • listening to the guidanceof the Holy Spirit
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  • and becoming a bridge builder.
  • 00:25:11.499 --> 00:25:13.401
  • You don't wannamiss any of these.
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  • We'll see you on Monday.
  • 00:25:14.769 --> 00:25:16.071
  • I love you girls, youare amazing to me.
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  • Thank you, love you, bye.
  • 00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:21.009
  • (upbeat music)
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