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Dr. Robert Jeffress

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Parenting Regrets

May 19, 2025 | 27:29

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Parenting Regrets
Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
#Children #Dedication/Devotion #Parenting #Religion #Focus #Dr.RobertJeffress #RobertJeffress #Regret #Commitment #Mistakes #Father #Parents #Mother

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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Parenting Regrets | May 19, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church of
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  • Dallas, texas, this is
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  • "pathway to victory" with dr. robert jeffress.
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  • Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress and welcome
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  • Again to "pathway to victory."
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  • One of life's greatest challenges and most rewarding
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  • Endeavors is raising godly children, but sometimes we get
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  • So caught up in the minutia of daily life, that we lose sight
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  • Of the big picture.
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  • Today i'm going to give you four foundational commitments you can
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  • Make right now to avoid any parenting regrets.
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  • My message is titled, "say goodbye to parenting regrets" on
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  • Today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Announcer: god doesn't want you to carry around the weight of
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  • Sins he's already forgiven.
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  • In his bestselling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
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  • Jeffress helps you live beyond the would-haves, could-haves,
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  • And should-haves to embrace the future god has planned for you.
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  • You can't undo the past, but there's plenty you can do to
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  • Reshape tomorrow and eternity.
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  • Discover the biblical secrets for regret-free living when you
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  • Request the book, "say goodbye to regret."
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  • Thank you for giving generously to "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Jeffress: let me just say a couple of words of warning
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  • Or disclaimer.
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  • First of all, the purpose of this message is not to heap a
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  • Pile of guilt upon you for mistakes you've made about--
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  • As parents.
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  • You know, the title of this series is "say goodbye
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  • To regrets."
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  • And the theme of the series is simply this, while we can't
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  • Erase yesterday, we can make changes today that change our
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  • Tomorrow and our eternity.
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  • And that's true about parenting.
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  • You can't erase the mistakes you made as a parent.
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  • But what you can do is make some decisions today that will change
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  • How you relate to your children and your grandchildren.
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  • I also realize that here today and watching on television there
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  • Are a number of you who would think, "well, this isn't for me.
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  • I'm finished with parenting.
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  • My kids are grown, and they're outside the house."
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  • But we're never through with our parenting responsibility.
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  • Finally, i remember and realize there are some here today who
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  • Aren't parents.
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  • Maybe you're not parents yet, maybe you'll never be parents,
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  • But there's still children whom you impact, important children
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  • In your life.
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  • It may be nieces, nephews, it may be children here in the
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  • Church you have a ministry with.
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  • These principles are applicable to you as well.
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  • Before we talk about how to have no regrets about your parenting,
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  • I want to look at a case study in regret and it's found in the
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  • Old testament book of 1 samuel chapters 1 and 2.
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  • Really, these two chapters are a contrast between godly parents
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  • Who raised godly children and some godly parents who raised
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  • Ungodly children.
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  • Let's look at the godly parents who raised a godly child.
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  • The parents name were hannah and elkanah.
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  • You remember the story, hannah had prayed that god would give
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  • Her a son, and after a long time of praying, god answered her
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  • Prayer, gave her a son that was named samuel, which means "god
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  • Has heard."
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  • He was an important priest and judge in the land of
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  • Israel, and hannah and her husband elkanah not only prayed
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  • For samuel, they dedicated him to the lord.
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  • They sought to realize god's purpose, not their purpose for
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  • His life.
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  • They were even willing to give him up to a priest named eli to
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  • Be mentored.
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  • Hannah and elkanah were what we would think of as
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  • Perfect parents.
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  • They would have made a great couple to interview on "focus on
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  • The family."
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  • They seem to do everything right because samuel was dedicated to
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  • The lord.
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  • Interestingly, the priest who became samuel's mentor was a
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  • Good priest, but he was a lousy parent.
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  • His name was eli.
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  • And we find this word about eli in 1 samuel 2, verse 12,
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  • About his sons.
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  • "now the sons of eli were worthless men.
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  • They did not know the lord."
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  • What is it that made these two
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  • Sons, hophni and phinehas, worthless?
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  • Well, the bible says they were engaged in sin, two sins.
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  • Specifically, they stole sacrifices from the altar of the
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  • Lord to use themselves, and they engaged in sexual immorality.
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  • As a result, god said to eli that his two sons would die on
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  • The very same day.
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  • And i want you to note the reason that god pronounced this
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  • Judgment against eli's two sons.
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  • It's found in 1 samuel 3, 13 and 14.
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  • "i have told him," that is eli, "that i'm about to judge his
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  • House forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons
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  • Brought a curse on themselves and eli did not rebuke them.
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  • Therefore i've sworn to the house of eli that the iniquity
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  • Of eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or
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  • Offering forever."
  • 00:05:34.123 --> 00:05:36.793
  • Now, the big question is why would eli, a man
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  • Who knew better, not rebuke his own sons when they sinned?
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  • I think we find the answer to that in eli's reaction to the
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  • News of the death of his sons.
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  • The bible tells us in 1 samuel 4 that the israelites
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  • Went out to do battle with the philistines.
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  • And in that battle, 30,000 israelites were killed,
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  • Including eli's sons, hophni and phinehas.
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  • It was also during that very same battle that israel lost the
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  • Ark of the covenant.
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  • The philistines stole it.
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  • Now listen to the news when it reached eli, how he reacted to
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  • The death of his sons and the stealing of the ark of
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  • The covenant.
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  • 1 samuel 4:17, "then the one who brought the news back to eli
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  • Replied, 'israel has fled before the philistines and there has
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  • Been a great slaughter among the people, and your two sons also,
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  • Hophni and phinehas, they are dead and the ark has been
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  • Taken.'"
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  • Now, look at verse 18, "when he mentioned the ark of
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  • God, eli fell off the seat backward beside the gate and his
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  • Neck was broken and he died, for he was old and heavy."
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  • How would you like that to be the epitaph on your gravestone?
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  • He was old and heavy.
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  • But i digress.
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  • That's not the point.
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  • The point was he was so old and he was so heavy, when he heard
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  • That the ark had been taken, he fell over backwards and died.
  • 00:07:17.760 --> 00:07:22.164
  • Thus, he judged israel for 40 years.
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  • What i find interesting is what sent eli over the edge, so to
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  • Speak, was not the news that his sons were dead.
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  • It was the news that the ark of the covenant had been stolen.
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  • You think, well, that just shows what a great and godly man
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  • He was.
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  • He cared about the things of god.
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  • He was more concerned about the things of god than he was about
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  • His own sons.
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  • You know, that's called misplaced priorities.
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  • He was more concerned about his ministry to others than his
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  • Ministry to his own sons.
  • 00:07:56.799 --> 00:07:59.936
  • And the story of eli reminds us that the road to parental
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  • Failure is often paved with good intentions.
  • 00:08:05.141 --> 00:08:09.979
  • We can be trying to do the right thing with our kids and make
  • 00:08:09.979 --> 00:08:14.250
  • Many mistakes.
  • 00:08:14.250 --> 00:08:15.651
  • I imagine eli, as he looked back over the years with his sons,
  • 00:08:15.651 --> 00:08:19.855
  • Had a number of if onlys when it came to raising hophni and
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  • Phinehas.
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  • Using that story as a background,
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  • I want to suggest to you today four foundational and, more
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  • Importantly, biblical commitments we have to make if
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  • We're going to eliminate, reduce the number of regrets we have
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  • About our parenting.
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  • Commitment number one is this, i will spend time with
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  • My children.
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  • I will spend time.
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  • Every other thing we're gonna talk about this morning requires
  • 00:08:51.087 --> 00:08:55.091
  • Time, both a quantity of time and a quality of time.
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  • I remember reading that a century ago, parents would spend
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  • 54% of their waking hours with their children.
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  • You know what the figure is today?
  • 00:09:09.372 --> 00:09:11.474
  • 18% of our time is spent with our children.
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  • Now, you can rationalize that and say, well, people are a lot
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  • Busier today than they were 100 years ago.
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  • Not really.
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  • If anything modern technology, whether it be things like
  • 00:09:24.286 --> 00:09:28.224
  • Microwave ovens or washing machines, meaning we have more
  • 00:09:28.224 --> 00:09:32.828
  • Free time than people did 100 years ago.
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  • It's how we spend that time.
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  • If we're going to eliminate regrets, we need to spend more
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  • Time with our children.
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  • I hear that from parents.
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  • If they have any lament at all, it's looking back and saying, "i
  • 00:09:45.141 --> 00:09:49.178
  • Wish i had spent more time with my kids."
  • 00:09:49.178 --> 00:09:52.248
  • How do you do that?
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  • How do you direct more time with your children?
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  • Let me give you a few ideas.
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  • First of all, learn the go home principle.
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  • Learn the go home principle.
  • 00:10:01.123 --> 00:10:03.826
  • You know, very few productive things happen in an office after
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  • 5:30 or 6 p.m. in the evening.
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  • You can shuffle papers around, talk on the
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  • Telephone, but learn to go home when the day is over.
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  • If you have to attend an evening meeting, stay for the meeting,
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  • But don't take, stay around chewing the fat afterwards.
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  • Go home to be with your family.
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  • I remember reading an interview with movie director and
  • 00:10:27.483 --> 00:10:31.821
  • Producer steven spielberg years ago, and he talked about this.
  • 00:10:31.821 --> 00:10:35.324
  • He said his wife allowed him to work, when they had small
  • 00:10:35.324 --> 00:10:39.195
  • Children, with this condition.
  • 00:10:39.195 --> 00:10:42.331
  • He had to be home at 5:30 every day.
  • 00:10:42.331 --> 00:10:45.101
  • Now, he could find all kinds of reasons for not to be home at
  • 00:10:45.101 --> 00:10:48.604
  • 5:30, but he went ahead and followed that principle to be
  • 00:10:48.604 --> 00:10:52.041
  • Home with his small children and his movies didn't suffer a bit.
  • 00:10:52.041 --> 00:10:55.377
  • He's still the most successful producer and director
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  • In history.
  • 00:10:58.514 --> 00:11:00.049
  • Secondly, negotiate with your boss for a flexible schedule.
  • 00:11:00.049 --> 00:11:04.253
  • A growing number of corporations are adopting flex time policies
  • 00:11:04.253 --> 00:11:08.557
  • That are more family friendly.
  • 00:11:08.557 --> 00:11:10.359
  • If that's a possibility, negotiate for it.
  • 00:11:10.359 --> 00:11:13.462
  • Third, and this is so key, refuse to allow other people to
  • 00:11:13.462 --> 00:11:17.767
  • Set your schedule.
  • 00:11:17.767 --> 00:11:19.802
  • A mentor of mine used to say, you better determine what your
  • 00:11:19.802 --> 00:11:23.339
  • Priorities are or somebody else will determine them for you.
  • 00:11:23.339 --> 00:11:27.877
  • And if spending time with your children is a priority, build
  • 00:11:27.877 --> 00:11:30.946
  • That into your schedule.
  • 00:11:30.946 --> 00:11:32.681
  • What i'm saying to you is you've got to be as committed to
  • 00:11:32.681 --> 00:11:35.851
  • Spending time with your kids or your grandkids as you are
  • 00:11:35.851 --> 00:11:39.722
  • Any other important tasks that you have, refuse to allow other
  • 00:11:39.722 --> 00:11:44.360
  • People set your schedule.
  • 00:11:44.360 --> 00:11:46.462
  • Fourth, stay focused with your children, stay focused with
  • 00:11:46.462 --> 00:11:52.201
  • Your children.
  • 00:11:52.201 --> 00:11:53.569
  • You know, it's possible to be with your children physically
  • 00:11:53.569 --> 00:11:57.039
  • And be someplace else mentally and emotionally.
  • 00:11:57.039 --> 00:12:00.709
  • Spending time, the commitment to spend time with your kids.
  • 00:12:00.709 --> 00:12:03.913
  • Commitment number two for regret free parenting is this, i
  • 00:12:03.913 --> 00:12:09.151
  • Will create lasting memories with my children.
  • 00:12:09.151 --> 00:12:13.856
  • I will create lasting memories with my children.
  • 00:12:13.856 --> 00:12:18.060
  • It's important that when your children are gone, they'd be
  • 00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:21.230
  • Able to look back at the time they spent with you as a museum
  • 00:12:21.230 --> 00:12:25.968
  • Of wonderful memories.
  • 00:12:25.968 --> 00:12:28.604
  • How do you create lasting positive memories with your
  • 00:12:28.604 --> 00:12:33.309
  • Children or your grandchildren?
  • 00:12:33.309 --> 00:12:36.779
  • Author stephen kramer explains what he calls the three rs of
  • 00:12:36.779 --> 00:12:42.351
  • Memory making.
  • 00:12:42.351 --> 00:12:43.986
  • Let me expand on them for just a moment.
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  • The first r is routine, these are things that you do daily or
  • 00:12:46.222 --> 00:12:51.694
  • Weekly with your kids.
  • 00:12:51.694 --> 00:12:54.296
  • It may be a meal, one meal a day, breakfast or dinner that
  • 00:12:54.296 --> 00:12:57.900
  • You have together as a family without smartphones or
  • 00:12:57.900 --> 00:13:00.870
  • Television or computers.
  • 00:13:00.870 --> 00:13:02.838
  • It may be the way you close the day together or begin together,
  • 00:13:02.838 --> 00:13:06.508
  • Reading a bible verse or having a prayer time together.
  • 00:13:06.508 --> 00:13:11.280
  • It may be weekly, having a family night or having a
  • 00:13:11.280 --> 00:13:14.383
  • Game night.
  • 00:13:14.383 --> 00:13:15.818
  • Just remember to get the checker board before you try that.
  • 00:13:15.818 --> 00:13:19.755
  • But things that you do day in and day out, these are routines.
  • 00:13:19.755 --> 00:13:24.193
  • Second r is ritual, ritual.
  • 00:13:24.193 --> 00:13:28.831
  • You know, it's interesting that the jews had so many special
  • 00:13:28.831 --> 00:13:32.501
  • Days and holy days.
  • 00:13:32.501 --> 00:13:34.136
  • God gave them these special days for a reason that even when they
  • 00:13:34.136 --> 00:13:38.307
  • Were separated from their homeland, they would find
  • 00:13:38.307 --> 00:13:41.043
  • Stability in these rituals.
  • 00:13:41.043 --> 00:13:43.279
  • Special days.
  • 00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:45.180
  • Have those kind of rituals with your family, holidays,
  • 00:13:45.180 --> 00:13:49.118
  • Birthdays, vacations.
  • 00:13:49.118 --> 00:13:50.920
  • And then the third r stands for the ridiculous, it ought to be
  • 00:13:50.920 --> 00:13:55.591
  • Just fun things you do as a family to provide excitement in
  • 00:13:55.591 --> 00:13:59.995
  • Your family.
  • 00:13:59.995 --> 00:14:01.330
  • And they don't have to be elaborate or expensive.
  • 00:14:01.330 --> 00:14:03.265
  • Dr. kent hughes in his book "common sense parenting" says
  • 00:14:03.265 --> 00:14:06.769
  • That he and his wife would put their children to bed, turn off
  • 00:14:06.769 --> 00:14:10.205
  • The lights some nights and about 15 minutes later they'd walk in,
  • 00:14:10.205 --> 00:14:14.176
  • Turn the lights on and yell out "pajama ride," and they would
  • 00:14:14.176 --> 00:14:18.580
  • All get in the car in their pajamas and drive to the local
  • 00:14:18.580 --> 00:14:21.450
  • Dairy queen to get a blizzard.
  • 00:14:21.450 --> 00:14:24.086
  • And then some nights they would yell "seconds," and they'd get
  • 00:14:24.086 --> 00:14:26.855
  • In the car and go across town to another dairy queen.
  • 00:14:26.855 --> 00:14:29.792
  • Those kind of things provide excitement in a family.
  • 00:14:29.792 --> 00:14:33.562
  • We're gonna look next time at a verse ecclesiastes 9:9 that
  • 00:14:33.562 --> 00:14:37.499
  • Relates to our relationship to our mate.
  • 00:14:37.499 --> 00:14:39.969
  • Solomon said you only have a short time on this earth.
  • 00:14:39.969 --> 00:14:43.439
  • Why not devote your time and energy to the one you love
  • 00:14:43.439 --> 00:14:47.609
  • Most dearly?
  • 00:14:47.609 --> 00:14:49.979
  • That can also be expanded to your children.
  • 00:14:49.979 --> 00:14:52.047
  • You only have a short time with your kids.
  • 00:14:52.047 --> 00:14:54.416
  • Why not devote the energy and time you need to the children
  • 00:14:54.416 --> 00:14:58.187
  • You love?
  • 00:14:58.187 --> 00:14:59.621
  • Commitment number three, i'll spend time with my children.
  • 00:14:59.621 --> 00:15:03.258
  • Secondly, i'll build lasting memories with my children.
  • 00:15:03.258 --> 00:15:06.228
  • Number three, i will discover and develop my children's gifts.
  • 00:15:06.228 --> 00:15:13.168
  • You know, one of the most often quoted but least understood
  • 00:15:13.168 --> 00:15:16.338
  • Verses in the bible about parenting is proverbs 22:6.
  • 00:15:16.338 --> 00:15:21.010
  • Most of them you can say it by memory, "train up a child in the
  • 00:15:21.010 --> 00:15:26.548
  • Way he should go and when he was old, he will not depart from
  • 00:15:26.548 --> 00:15:30.519
  • It," most people misinterpret that verse and they end
  • 00:15:30.519 --> 00:15:34.957
  • Up disappointed.
  • 00:15:34.957 --> 00:15:36.325
  • They think that verse is a blanket promise that if you take
  • 00:15:36.325 --> 00:15:39.461
  • Your kids to church, and read the bible to them and train
  • 00:15:39.461 --> 00:15:42.264
  • Them, they will never depart from the christian faith.
  • 00:15:42.264 --> 00:15:45.667
  • We know that's not true.
  • 00:15:45.667 --> 00:15:47.636
  • We all can think of examples.
  • 00:15:47.636 --> 00:15:49.505
  • We may have examples in our own home of children
  • 00:15:49.505 --> 00:15:52.374
  • We've poured spiritual truth into, they wander away and never
  • 00:15:52.374 --> 00:15:56.311
  • Come back.
  • 00:15:56.311 --> 00:15:57.679
  • Now, it's true, if you train your children in the principles
  • 00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:01.450
  • Of the lord, they have a better chance of coming back than if
  • 00:16:01.450 --> 00:16:05.187
  • You don't.
  • 00:16:05.187 --> 00:16:06.522
  • But there are no blanket guarantees in the bible.
  • 00:16:06.522 --> 00:16:08.223
  • That's not what this verse is about.
  • 00:16:08.223 --> 00:16:10.692
  • What is the meaning of this verse?
  • 00:16:10.692 --> 00:16:12.461
  • The key is train your child in the way he should go, the way he
  • 00:16:12.461 --> 00:16:19.501
  • Should go.
  • 00:16:19.501 --> 00:16:20.836
  • A legitimate translation of that hebrew phrase is train up a
  • 00:16:20.836 --> 00:16:25.040
  • Child according to his bent.
  • 00:16:25.040 --> 00:16:29.211
  • In other words, recognize the uniqueness of your child, his
  • 00:16:29.211 --> 00:16:34.083
  • Unique gifts and interest, and maximize those because he's
  • 00:16:34.083 --> 00:16:37.886
  • Always gonna return to those.
  • 00:16:37.886 --> 00:16:39.688
  • If your child is bent toward athletics, he's always gonna be
  • 00:16:39.688 --> 00:16:42.791
  • Pulled toward the soccer field or the football field.
  • 00:16:42.791 --> 00:16:46.161
  • If your child, boy or girl, is a leader, they're always going to
  • 00:16:46.161 --> 00:16:51.166
  • Be pulled to places of leadership.
  • 00:16:51.166 --> 00:16:53.402
  • That's their natural bent.
  • 00:16:53.402 --> 00:16:55.604
  • Every child is hand stitched by the lord, not mass manufactured
  • 00:16:55.604 --> 00:17:00.576
  • In a sweatshop.
  • 00:17:00.576 --> 00:17:01.910
  • So remember your children are unique, and to understand their
  • 00:17:01.910 --> 00:17:05.447
  • Uniqueness, number one, ask the right questions.
  • 00:17:05.447 --> 00:17:09.184
  • I've given you a list on your outline of ten questions
  • 00:17:09.184 --> 00:17:13.188
  • Dr. john maxwell says every parent should be able to answer
  • 00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:17.192
  • About his or her child.
  • 00:17:17.192 --> 00:17:19.294
  • That will help you discover whom your child really is.
  • 00:17:19.294 --> 00:17:22.865
  • Ask the right questions.
  • 00:17:22.865 --> 00:17:24.199
  • Secondly, make the necessary sacrifices to develop your
  • 00:17:24.199 --> 00:17:29.071
  • Child's unique bents.
  • 00:17:29.071 --> 00:17:31.240
  • You know, one of the things i'll always appreciate about my
  • 00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:34.276
  • Parents is the sacrifices they made for us to discover our
  • 00:17:34.276 --> 00:17:38.514
  • Unique interest.
  • 00:17:38.514 --> 00:17:39.848
  • And thirdly, if you're going to train up your child according to
  • 00:17:39.848 --> 00:17:43.252
  • His bent, accept the results.
  • 00:17:43.252 --> 00:17:46.655
  • Realize your children may not turn out like you envision.
  • 00:17:46.655 --> 00:17:49.391
  • They may go a different direction.
  • 00:17:49.391 --> 00:17:51.793
  • That's okay.
  • 00:17:51.793 --> 00:17:54.496
  • You know, one of the greatest ways to avoid regrets as a
  • 00:17:54.496 --> 00:17:57.666
  • Parent is to be able to look back on your years with your
  • 00:17:57.666 --> 00:18:01.370
  • Children, and say i accepted, i discovered, and i maximized my
  • 00:18:01.370 --> 00:18:07.209
  • Child's unique bent.
  • 00:18:07.209 --> 00:18:10.746
  • Fourth, how do you engage in no regret parenting?
  • 00:18:10.746 --> 00:18:14.716
  • The fourth commitment is this, i will exercise appropriate
  • 00:18:14.716 --> 00:18:19.288
  • Discipline with my child.
  • 00:18:19.288 --> 00:18:21.890
  • I'll exercise appropriate discipline with my child.
  • 00:18:21.890 --> 00:18:26.128
  • As eli looked back on his experience with hophni and
  • 00:18:26.128 --> 00:18:28.997
  • Phinehas, i imagine most of his if only's dealt with this area
  • 00:18:28.997 --> 00:18:34.136
  • Of discipline.
  • 00:18:34.136 --> 00:18:35.637
  • Let me help us learn positive lessons from eli's failures.
  • 00:18:35.637 --> 00:18:40.742
  • Let me point out four mistakes eli made in disciplining
  • 00:18:40.742 --> 00:18:45.013
  • His sons.
  • 00:18:45.013 --> 00:18:46.381
  • First of all, he didn't begin early enough.
  • 00:18:46.381 --> 00:18:48.717
  • He did not begin early enough.
  • 00:18:48.717 --> 00:18:51.553
  • Again, 1 samuel 3:13, god gives the reason for killing
  • 00:18:51.553 --> 00:18:56.858
  • Hophni and phinehas.
  • 00:18:56.858 --> 00:18:58.227
  • Why this judgment?
  • 00:18:58.227 --> 00:18:59.561
  • Because eli did not rebuke them.
  • 00:18:59.561 --> 00:19:02.931
  • And yet that seems unfair because in fact, eli did
  • 00:19:02.931 --> 00:19:06.702
  • Rebuke them.
  • 00:19:06.702 --> 00:19:08.070
  • We find in 1 samuel 2:25, eli said to his sons when he
  • 00:19:08.070 --> 00:19:12.407
  • Heard the news of their disobedience, "if one man sins
  • 00:19:12.407 --> 00:19:16.812
  • Against another, god will mediate for him; but if he sins
  • 00:19:16.812 --> 00:19:19.748
  • Against the lord, who can intercede for him?
  • 00:19:19.748 --> 00:19:23.051
  • But his sons would not listen to the voice of their father, for
  • 00:19:23.051 --> 00:19:27.155
  • The lord desired to put them to death."
  • 00:19:27.155 --> 00:19:30.892
  • Do you see the conflict there?
  • 00:19:30.892 --> 00:19:32.828
  • God says, "i'm judging you, eli, because you didn't rebuke
  • 00:19:32.828 --> 00:19:36.632
  • Your children."
  • 00:19:36.632 --> 00:19:38.000
  • And yet we have a clear case here where he did rebuke
  • 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:39.668
  • His children.
  • 00:19:39.668 --> 00:19:41.036
  • How do you reconcile that?
  • 00:19:41.036 --> 00:19:42.371
  • Here's the problem.
  • 00:19:42.371 --> 00:19:43.739
  • Eli waited too long.
  • 00:19:43.739 --> 00:19:45.374
  • He waited until his sons were young adults to try to
  • 00:19:45.374 --> 00:19:48.410
  • Correct them.
  • 00:19:48.410 --> 00:19:49.745
  • And by then it was too late.
  • 00:19:49.745 --> 00:19:51.280
  • He didn't begin early enough.
  • 00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:54.182
  • Jot down proverbs 13:24, solomon says, "he who withholds his rod
  • 00:19:54.182 --> 00:20:00.722
  • Hates his son.
  • 00:20:00.722 --> 00:20:02.391
  • But he who loves him disciplines him diligently."
  • 00:20:02.391 --> 00:20:08.263
  • You know what that word diligently means in hebrew?
  • 00:20:08.263 --> 00:20:10.766
  • It means literally at early dawn.
  • 00:20:10.766 --> 00:20:14.603
  • That doesn't mean you wake up your children at 5 a.m.
  • 00:20:14.603 --> 00:20:16.638
  • To beat them to death.
  • 00:20:16.638 --> 00:20:17.973
  • That's not what he's talking about.
  • 00:20:17.973 --> 00:20:19.508
  • It's talking about early in life.
  • 00:20:19.508 --> 00:20:22.010
  • You begin this discipline as children.
  • 00:20:22.010 --> 00:20:24.680
  • If you don't, you will have waited too long.
  • 00:20:24.680 --> 00:20:27.649
  • The second mistake eli made was he was not consistent in
  • 00:20:27.649 --> 00:20:31.953
  • His discipline.
  • 00:20:31.953 --> 00:20:33.789
  • Notice there were two things the boys did wrong.
  • 00:20:33.789 --> 00:20:37.159
  • They stole from the altar of the sacrifice of the lord and they
  • 00:20:37.159 --> 00:20:41.163
  • Committed sexual immorality.
  • 00:20:41.163 --> 00:20:43.165
  • Yet when eli screwed up the courage to confront them, all he
  • 00:20:43.165 --> 00:20:47.302
  • Mentioned was sexual immorality.
  • 00:20:47.302 --> 00:20:49.304
  • He never mentioned the stealing from the lord's altar.
  • 00:20:49.304 --> 00:20:52.207
  • Why is that?
  • 00:20:52.207 --> 00:20:54.242
  • Now, this is just speculation.
  • 00:20:54.242 --> 00:20:56.845
  • Could it be eli was guilty of that same sin?
  • 00:20:56.845 --> 00:21:00.682
  • So he dared not say anything to his boys about something he was
  • 00:21:00.682 --> 00:21:04.286
  • Guilty about.
  • 00:21:04.286 --> 00:21:05.620
  • Was this the chink in his own spiritual armor?
  • 00:21:05.620 --> 00:21:08.490
  • We don't know the answer to that.
  • 00:21:08.490 --> 00:21:10.192
  • But what we do know was, he let his boys get by with one thing
  • 00:21:10.192 --> 00:21:15.163
  • Without mentioning the other thing.
  • 00:21:15.163 --> 00:21:16.798
  • He was inconsistent in his discipline.
  • 00:21:16.798 --> 00:21:20.669
  • What are the mistakes eli made?
  • 00:21:20.669 --> 00:21:23.605
  • Thirdly, he was not observant about his children's behavior.
  • 00:21:23.605 --> 00:21:27.976
  • He wasn't observant about his children's behavior.
  • 00:21:27.976 --> 00:21:30.645
  • How did you find out about their misbehavior?
  • 00:21:30.645 --> 00:21:33.048
  • From other people.
  • 00:21:33.048 --> 00:21:34.416
  • Look at 1 samuel 2:22.
  • 00:21:34.416 --> 00:21:36.017
  • "now eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons were
  • 00:21:36.017 --> 00:21:40.689
  • Doing to all israel, and how they lay with the women who
  • 00:21:40.689 --> 00:21:43.625
  • Served at the doorway of the tent of the meeting," and then
  • 00:21:43.625 --> 00:21:47.462
  • When he confronted his sons, what did he say to them?
  • 00:21:47.462 --> 00:21:50.599
  • Verses 23 and 24, "why do you do such things?
  • 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:55.203
  • The evil things that i hear from all these people?
  • 00:21:55.203 --> 00:21:59.341
  • No, my sons; for the report is not good which i hear the lord's
  • 00:21:59.341 --> 00:22:03.879
  • People circulating," the lord's people were gossiping about it.
  • 00:22:03.879 --> 00:22:11.219
  • Did you hear about hophni?
  • 00:22:11.219 --> 00:22:12.721
  • Did you hear about phinehas?
  • 00:22:12.721 --> 00:22:15.357
  • Have you heard what they're up to?
  • 00:22:15.357 --> 00:22:18.460
  • You know, again, this is a little bit of sanctified
  • 00:22:18.460 --> 00:22:20.996
  • Imagination, but i think it's pretty accurate here.
  • 00:22:20.996 --> 00:22:24.766
  • Eli seems to be more concerned about what people are saying
  • 00:22:24.766 --> 00:22:28.737
  • About his sons than what his sons are actually doing.
  • 00:22:28.737 --> 00:22:32.507
  • Have you heard what other people are saying?
  • 00:22:32.507 --> 00:22:34.709
  • What other people are saying?
  • 00:22:34.709 --> 00:22:37.179
  • He should have been concerned about what his sons were doing,
  • 00:22:37.179 --> 00:22:39.948
  • Not the report others were circulating.
  • 00:22:39.948 --> 00:22:43.819
  • And again, i think it's another case where eli was more
  • 00:22:43.819 --> 00:22:46.455
  • Concerned about his position as a priest than he was in his
  • 00:22:46.455 --> 00:22:49.825
  • Responsibility as a father.
  • 00:22:49.825 --> 00:22:53.462
  • Finally, eli's mistake, and this is the foundational mistake.
  • 00:22:53.462 --> 00:22:58.099
  • He did not teach his children to fear god.
  • 00:22:58.099 --> 00:23:02.804
  • Ladies and gentlemen, the most important thing we can teach our
  • 00:23:02.804 --> 00:23:06.842
  • Children, our grandchildren, is that there is a god.
  • 00:23:06.842 --> 00:23:11.379
  • He is always watching.
  • 00:23:11.379 --> 00:23:13.248
  • He's always evaluating.
  • 00:23:13.248 --> 00:23:15.183
  • He's always judging.
  • 00:23:15.183 --> 00:23:17.853
  • The fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom.
  • 00:23:17.853 --> 00:23:22.524
  • Our most important ministry is
  • 00:23:22.524 --> 00:23:25.193
  • To our own children and grandchildren that god gives us.
  • 00:23:25.193 --> 00:23:30.465
  • If we lose our children to the kingdom
  • 00:23:30.465 --> 00:23:35.504
  • Of satan, we have lost everything.
  • 00:23:35.504 --> 00:23:39.274
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:23:39.274 --> 00:23:44.379
  • Jeffress: my prayer is that today's message has inspired you
  • 00:23:44.379 --> 00:23:47.382
  • To say goodbye to parenting regrets.
  • 00:23:47.382 --> 00:23:50.552
  • We can't be effective moms and dads or grandparents when we're
  • 00:23:50.552 --> 00:23:54.456
  • Encumbered by our disappointment.
  • 00:23:54.456 --> 00:23:57.259
  • In closing today, i wanna share a note i received from sherri
  • 00:23:57.259 --> 00:24:00.595
  • In washington.
  • 00:24:00.595 --> 00:24:01.963
  • She wrote, "i stumbled upon your radio broadcast a few months ago
  • 00:24:01.963 --> 00:24:06.001
  • As i began a new job with a 30-minute commute.
  • 00:24:06.001 --> 00:24:09.504
  • Starting my day with your words has taken me in a new direction
  • 00:24:09.504 --> 00:24:14.042
  • And understanding for being a child of god."
  • 00:24:14.042 --> 00:24:17.646
  • Well, your feedback is an encouragement to me, sherri.
  • 00:24:17.646 --> 00:24:21.149
  • And i hope it also encourages every person who supports
  • 00:24:21.149 --> 00:24:24.586
  • "pathway to victory" because your partnership makes it
  • 00:24:24.586 --> 00:24:28.189
  • Possible to reach people like sherri,
  • 00:24:28.189 --> 00:24:30.592
  • And countless others as well.
  • 00:24:30.592 --> 00:24:33.028
  • Now, stay right there.
  • 00:24:33.028 --> 00:24:34.362
  • I'll be back with more "pathway to victory" in just a moment.
  • 00:24:34.362 --> 00:24:38.833
  • Announcer: what if your doctor were to say you had only six
  • 00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:41.736
  • Months left to live?
  • 00:24:41.736 --> 00:24:43.138
  • Would you have any regrets in your life?
  • 00:24:43.138 --> 00:24:45.240
  • In his best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
  • 00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:48.743
  • Jeffress shares biblical principles for dealing with
  • 00:24:48.743 --> 00:24:51.346
  • Regrets from your past and preventing regrets in
  • 00:24:51.346 --> 00:24:54.082
  • The future.
  • 00:24:54.082 --> 00:24:55.450
  • Jeffress: regret is one of life's most painful and
  • 00:24:55.450 --> 00:24:58.453
  • Unnecessary emotions.
  • 00:24:58.453 --> 00:25:00.322
  • And in my best selling book, "say goodbye to regret,"
  • 00:25:00.322 --> 00:25:03.391
  • I'll help you turn those if onlys into succesful
  • 00:25:03.391 --> 00:25:06.861
  • Lessons in living.
  • 00:25:06.861 --> 00:25:08.530
  • Announcer: it's time to move forward satisfied
  • 00:25:08.530 --> 00:25:11.299
  • With the life you're living.
  • 00:25:11.299 --> 00:25:12.767
  • Request your copy of "say goodbye to regret" when you give
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  • In the pages of this highly practical book, you'll discover
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  • The biblical keys to leaving behind regrets about
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  • Relationships, your marriage, finances and more.
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  • And when you give $75 or more, we'll also send you the complete
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  • "say goodbye to regret" teaching series
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  • 00:25:34.823 --> 00:25:39.060
  • Jeffress: one of the heaviest weights other than sin
  • 00:25:39.060 --> 00:25:42.497
  • Is regret.
  • 00:25:42.497 --> 00:25:43.865
  • Regrets are not the problem in and of themselves.
  • 00:25:43.865 --> 00:25:46.901
  • They are an indicator of a problem that needs to be
  • 00:25:46.901 --> 00:25:50.305
  • Dealt with.
  • 00:25:50.305 --> 00:25:51.640
  • Announcer: thank you for helping "pathway to victory"
  • 00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:53.608
  • Proclaim the redemptive power of jesus christ to a world in need.
  • 00:25:53.608 --> 00:25:57.979
  • Together, we are broadcasting the message of god's love and
  • 00:25:57.979 --> 00:26:01.349
  • Forgiveness, biblical hope, and life-transforming power
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  • Across the country and around the world.
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  • Jeffress: i realize that most if not all of us hold some
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  • Parenting regrets, i'm no exception.
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  • But while you can't change the actions of the past, you can
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  • Decide to change your behavior and improve your relationship
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  • With your children and grandchildren for the future.
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  • May god grant you the resolve to make those positive changes
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  • Right now.
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  • Well, no relationship is more intimate and more sacred than
  • 00:26:34.649 --> 00:26:38.319
  • The lifelong commitment to your spouse.
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  • And next time, i'm going to outline four decisions you can
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  • Make to help rekindle love in your marriage.
  • 00:26:44.159 --> 00:26:47.262
  • Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in
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  • Our series, "say goodbye to regret."
  • 00:26:50.031 --> 00:26:54.269
  • Jeffress: you see, it all starts in genesis chapter 2, god looked
  • 00:26:54.269 --> 00:26:58.039
  • Down, he said, "everything i've created is good.
  • 00:26:58.039 --> 00:27:01.342
  • Man is very good, but here's the thing that's not good.
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  • It's not good for a man to be alone.
  • 00:27:04.579 --> 00:27:07.582
  • So i will make," genesis 2:18, "a helper suitable for him."
  • 00:27:07.582 --> 00:27:14.022
  • God created woman to be man's helper.
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  • Announcer: set your dvr and join us next time for the message,
  • 00:27:17.692 --> 00:27:20.895
  • "say goodbye to marital regrets,"
  • 00:27:20.895 --> 00:27:23.398
  • Here on "pathway to victory."
  • 00:27:23.398 --> 00:27:23.398