1. TBN
  2. Programs
  3. The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young
  4. Episodes
  5. Ed Young - Practical Parenting
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young

Ed Young - Practical Parenting

August 10, 2025 | S25 E191 | 29:0

Ed Young - Practical Parenting
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#inActive #WalkwithGod #RenewingtheMind #Parenting #Children #RelationshipwithGod #TrustGod #Love

Closed captions

Show Timecode
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Practical Parenting | August 10, 2025
  • ...
  • 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:00.356
  • Male announcer: spend time with god each day.
  • 00:00:01.091 --> 00:00:02.892
  • Get dr. young's 90 day devotional, "putting god first."
  • 00:00:02.992 --> 00:00:06.896
  • Ed young: it is my prayer that this devotional will help you to
  • 00:00:06.996 --> 00:00:08.064
  • Become all that god has designed you to become.
  • 00:00:09.365 --> 00:00:13.136
  • Announcer: call or go online to get a copy
  • 00:00:13.136 --> 00:00:14.971
  • For yourself or someone you love.
  • 00:00:14.971 --> 00:00:17.907
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:19.943 --> 00:00:39.662
  • Pastor ed: we hear a lot about colors.
  • 00:00:29.953 --> 00:00:43.032
  • Red states, blue states, purple states, white, green,
  • 00:00:43.032 --> 00:00:52.709
  • Black, orange.
  • 00:00:52.709 --> 00:00:55.512
  • We hear a lot about colors, but there's one color that is a
  • 00:00:55.512 --> 00:01:02.452
  • Very, very dangerous color.
  • 00:01:02.452 --> 00:01:07.924
  • I don't think you could guess what it is.
  • 00:01:07.924 --> 00:01:11.895
  • It is an angry color.
  • 00:01:11.895 --> 00:01:13.396
  • It is a dangerous color.
  • 00:01:13.396 --> 00:01:16.166
  • It is a color that breeds discord, and the color is gray.
  • 00:01:16.166 --> 00:01:24.607
  • Gray is pigment without any colors.
  • 00:01:24.607 --> 00:01:29.078
  • All the colors are absent.
  • 00:01:29.078 --> 00:01:31.481
  • It's just sort of a bland gray.
  • 00:01:31.481 --> 00:01:38.321
  • And gray is a very, very dangerous color.
  • 00:01:38.321 --> 00:01:43.993
  • Somebody might say, "i thought we'd talk about parenting.
  • 00:01:43.993 --> 00:01:47.130
  • What does that have to do with parenting?"
  • 00:01:47.130 --> 00:01:48.865
  • I can tell you what it has to do with parenting.
  • 00:01:48.865 --> 00:01:51.000
  • It has everything to do with parenting.
  • 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:55.205
  • You have a gray father who is passive.
  • 00:01:55.205 --> 00:02:00.577
  • You can predict with almost unerring accuracy the plight of
  • 00:02:00.577 --> 00:02:06.015
  • The sons of the daughters of a gray dad.
  • 00:02:06.015 --> 00:02:09.852
  • You can find a mom who is gray and just going
  • 00:02:09.852 --> 00:02:13.623
  • Through the motions.
  • 00:02:13.623 --> 00:02:14.958
  • It's such a labor, it's such a problem.
  • 00:02:14.958 --> 00:02:17.527
  • It's exhausting, and you can find children that will turn out
  • 00:02:17.527 --> 00:02:23.066
  • Tragically like their mom.
  • 00:02:23.066 --> 00:02:30.106
  • What does it mean to say someone is gray?
  • 00:02:30.106 --> 00:02:34.110
  • Someone is gray comes out of a lot of our colleges and
  • 00:02:34.110 --> 00:02:37.847
  • Universities because there are no absolutes.
  • 00:02:37.847 --> 00:02:42.418
  • You have your truth.
  • 00:02:42.418 --> 00:02:44.320
  • Oh, i have my truth.
  • 00:02:44.320 --> 00:02:45.955
  • Whether something is right and wrong, depends upon
  • 00:02:45.955 --> 00:02:48.725
  • The situation.
  • 00:02:48.725 --> 00:02:51.094
  • There's nothing you can say that is the way it is.
  • 00:02:51.094 --> 00:02:53.696
  • That is the way.
  • 00:02:53.696 --> 00:02:55.031
  • Oh, no, no. everything has to be gray.
  • 00:02:55.031 --> 00:02:57.267
  • Everything has to be negotiable.
  • 00:02:57.267 --> 00:02:59.002
  • Everything has to be open.
  • 00:02:59.002 --> 00:03:03.740
  • But i've got good news.
  • 00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:06.709
  • ♪ the stars at night are big and bright, where? ♪
  • 00:03:06.709 --> 00:03:13.082
  • Pitiful.
  • 00:03:13.082 --> 00:03:14.417
  • ♪ the stars at night are big and bright, where? ♪♪
  • 00:03:14.417 --> 00:03:18.721
  • Congregation: ♪ deep in the heart of texas. ♪
  • 00:03:18.721 --> 00:03:21.758
  • Pastor ed: now, what does that mean?
  • 00:03:21.758 --> 00:03:25.361
  • Why are the stars at night big and bright deep in the
  • 00:03:25.361 --> 00:03:29.932
  • Heart of texas?
  • 00:03:29.932 --> 00:03:31.267
  • I dare say there's only a handful of us here know where
  • 00:03:31.267 --> 00:03:34.737
  • The heart of texas is located.
  • 00:03:34.737 --> 00:03:37.774
  • Only a handful.
  • 00:03:37.774 --> 00:03:39.108
  • It's located in brady, texas, ten miles out to the northeast.
  • 00:03:39.108 --> 00:03:44.013
  • That's the very heart and central point in texas.
  • 00:03:44.013 --> 00:03:49.852
  • And brady is a small town.
  • 00:03:49.852 --> 00:03:51.454
  • It is noted for only one thing, dr. rudder, who was president of
  • 00:03:51.454 --> 00:03:56.659
  • Texas a&m.
  • 00:03:56.659 --> 00:03:58.761
  • He's the product of this wide spot in the road almost in the
  • 00:03:58.761 --> 00:04:03.366
  • Very heart of texas.
  • 00:04:03.366 --> 00:04:06.803
  • Now, why are the stars at night big and bright
  • 00:04:06.803 --> 00:04:15.278
  • In the heart in brady, texas?
  • 00:04:15.278 --> 00:04:17.680
  • Do you know why?
  • 00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:19.415
  • It's because there's no ambient lights, there's nothing
  • 00:04:19.415 --> 00:04:24.187
  • Competing with the darkness except you look up and the stars
  • 00:04:24.187 --> 00:04:29.092
  • At night are big and bright.
  • 00:04:29.092 --> 00:04:33.262
  • Decisiveness.
  • 00:04:33.262 --> 00:04:35.331
  • Clarity.
  • 00:04:35.331 --> 00:04:37.700
  • And when something is gray or someone is gray, there is no--
  • 00:04:37.700 --> 00:04:42.739
  • Too many competing lights, too many competing
  • 00:04:42.739 --> 00:04:45.475
  • Agendas, too much noise, too much racket.
  • 00:04:45.475 --> 00:04:47.844
  • But when there is clarity and that's our problem with
  • 00:04:47.844 --> 00:04:54.050
  • Parenting, ladies and gentlemen.
  • 00:04:54.050 --> 00:04:56.285
  • You take any mom and dad and say here's a baby that
  • 00:04:56.285 --> 00:04:59.722
  • You've been given.
  • 00:04:59.722 --> 00:05:01.057
  • What is your goal for that child?
  • 00:05:01.057 --> 00:05:05.027
  • Well, i want them to be upwardly mobile.
  • 00:05:05.027 --> 00:05:07.430
  • I hope they're educated, and i hope they have more than i have,
  • 00:05:07.430 --> 00:05:11.000
  • And i hope-- just some sort of general type of things.
  • 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:15.805
  • If you've ever been bird hunting and you think you shotgun, you
  • 00:05:15.805 --> 00:05:19.008
  • Shoot up there without aiming, chances are you'll hit nothing.
  • 00:05:19.008 --> 00:05:24.113
  • You'll hit nothing.
  • 00:05:24.113 --> 00:05:27.183
  • And therefore, parents need to know what their goal is.
  • 00:05:27.183 --> 00:05:32.054
  • What are you trying to develop?
  • 00:05:32.054 --> 00:05:33.423
  • What would god have you to build into that son and that daughter?
  • 00:05:33.423 --> 00:05:36.793
  • It has to be a clear thing, a clear definition, and that's
  • 00:05:36.793 --> 00:05:40.997
  • Exactly what we're talking about, isn't it?
  • 00:05:40.997 --> 00:05:44.534
  • We've been saying, "train up a child in the way he should go."
  • 00:05:44.534 --> 00:05:50.373
  • Review here for most of us, you may have missed it.
  • 00:05:50.373 --> 00:05:54.110
  • The way is one way.
  • 00:05:54.110 --> 00:05:56.946
  • You could train up our children, i could train up my children in
  • 00:05:56.946 --> 00:05:59.515
  • Many ways, but there's really one way to train up a
  • 00:05:59.515 --> 00:06:03.352
  • Child, according to the bible.
  • 00:06:03.352 --> 00:06:04.687
  • You can read all the psychologists, all the modern
  • 00:06:04.687 --> 00:06:07.924
  • Books, but god has one way to do it.
  • 00:06:07.924 --> 00:06:11.394
  • We talked about it in training, train them to love god with all
  • 00:06:11.394 --> 00:06:17.133
  • They got, first commandment.
  • 00:06:17.133 --> 00:06:19.635
  • Love god with everything, first and foremost.
  • 00:06:19.635 --> 00:06:23.139
  • Secondly, train them to love people, love your neighbor, try
  • 00:06:23.139 --> 00:06:26.709
  • To love-- that we can't as much as we love ourselves,
  • 00:06:26.709 --> 00:06:29.312
  • But that's our goal.
  • 00:06:29.312 --> 00:06:30.646
  • The third thing is bandura, the bandura principle.
  • 00:06:30.646 --> 00:06:36.619
  • Most of you had a little psychology.
  • 00:06:36.619 --> 00:06:38.721
  • You don't know who that is.
  • 00:06:38.721 --> 00:06:40.056
  • Bandura said the way you best teach people is by example, is
  • 00:06:40.056 --> 00:06:45.528
  • By saying, walk after me, do as i do, live as i live, follow
  • 00:06:45.528 --> 00:06:52.835
  • Me, follow me.
  • 00:06:52.835 --> 00:06:54.170
  • That's the principle, and that's the third thing.
  • 00:06:54.170 --> 00:06:57.006
  • Teach our kids to love god with all they've got.
  • 00:06:57.006 --> 00:07:00.443
  • Teach our kids how to love people, and you know how they
  • 00:07:00.443 --> 00:07:03.112
  • Learn to do that, by looking at mom and dad, and we have to say,
  • 00:07:03.112 --> 00:07:07.183
  • "that's the way i want to live: obeying those first two
  • 00:07:07.183 --> 00:07:10.953
  • Commandments that jesus said has priority of all the other rules
  • 00:07:10.953 --> 00:07:15.424
  • And regulations."
  • 00:07:15.424 --> 00:07:17.693
  • Not going too fast for anybody am i?
  • 00:07:17.693 --> 00:07:20.563
  • God doesn't make it exceedingly complex.
  • 00:07:20.563 --> 00:07:22.932
  • It is relatively simple, and therefore i would do anything
  • 00:07:22.932 --> 00:07:28.771
  • In the world for my kids.
  • 00:07:28.771 --> 00:07:31.574
  • Model jesus christ in your life.
  • 00:07:31.574 --> 00:07:36.112
  • Oh, because remember, they do pretty much what we require them
  • 00:07:36.112 --> 00:07:42.652
  • To do until they become teenagers and they begin to do
  • 00:07:42.652 --> 00:07:46.222
  • And live the way you and i live.
  • 00:07:46.222 --> 00:07:49.325
  • The way you and i do things, the way you and i think.
  • 00:07:49.325 --> 00:07:53.296
  • Train up a child.
  • 00:07:53.296 --> 00:07:55.831
  • When we're doing that, we're not gray parents are we?
  • 00:07:55.831 --> 00:07:59.602
  • We are decisive. we see what god's goal is.
  • 00:07:59.602 --> 00:08:03.573
  • And then we looked at bringing up a child, remember?
  • 00:08:03.573 --> 00:08:07.977
  • We looked at proverbs training, then we looked to ephesians in
  • 00:08:07.977 --> 00:08:12.348
  • Chapter number 6, it says, "bring up a child in the
  • 00:08:12.348 --> 00:08:15.785
  • Discipline," big word, "and instruction," oh, "of the lord."
  • 00:08:15.785 --> 00:08:22.124
  • And we discovered that discipline primarily takes place
  • 00:08:22.124 --> 00:08:26.429
  • Between, remember the ages 3 to 13.
  • 00:08:26.429 --> 00:08:30.466
  • That's when mom and dad really has a role in the eyes and the
  • 00:08:30.466 --> 00:08:35.237
  • Life of that son or daughter of god.
  • 00:08:35.237 --> 00:08:39.775
  • That is when we bring them to submission.
  • 00:08:39.775 --> 00:08:43.646
  • That is when we say this is the way it is, this is how
  • 00:08:43.646 --> 00:08:47.116
  • Things operate.
  • 00:08:47.116 --> 00:08:49.185
  • And therefore we take over the authority of our children
  • 00:08:49.185 --> 00:08:52.955
  • Between 3 and 13.
  • 00:08:52.955 --> 00:08:54.557
  • If you don't, oh-ho, that's when you have so many problems with
  • 00:08:54.557 --> 00:08:59.795
  • Teenagers because they haven't learned that when you say yes,
  • 00:08:59.795 --> 00:09:04.300
  • You mean yes, you say no, you say no.
  • 00:09:04.300 --> 00:09:07.637
  • And if you don't do that from 3 to 13, you're in for a long,
  • 00:09:07.637 --> 00:09:11.440
  • Long, tough ride, mom and dad.
  • 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:15.044
  • It can change, but it's much more difficult.
  • 00:09:15.044 --> 00:09:17.947
  • So, discipline first.
  • 00:09:17.947 --> 00:09:20.449
  • And then after that, there is instruction.
  • 00:09:20.449 --> 00:09:23.019
  • This is when we talk with them, this is when we explain.
  • 00:09:23.019 --> 00:09:26.355
  • In those years, 3 to 13, we say you do this, you don't do this.
  • 00:09:26.355 --> 00:09:31.560
  • You stop, here, you go there, and they say, "well, why?"
  • 00:09:31.560 --> 00:09:35.865
  • "because i said so," that's enough!
  • 00:09:35.865 --> 00:09:39.635
  • That's what happens during those years.
  • 00:09:39.635 --> 00:09:42.571
  • And then the years from 13 followed, it's so much easier
  • 00:09:42.571 --> 00:09:46.475
  • Because they, you've established a sense of authority, then you
  • 00:09:46.475 --> 00:09:50.146
  • Can explain.
  • 00:09:50.146 --> 00:09:52.081
  • Then you can go in the other details
  • 00:09:52.081 --> 00:09:53.749
  • That needs to take place.
  • 00:09:53.749 --> 00:09:55.084
  • We've already been through this. some of you, you missed it.
  • 00:09:55.084 --> 00:09:58.154
  • Foundational principles of not being a gray mom and dad:
  • 00:09:58.154 --> 00:10:05.761
  • Clarity, distinctiveness, understanding the goal,
  • 00:10:05.761 --> 00:10:13.035
  • Right there.
  • 00:10:13.035 --> 00:10:14.637
  • And then we're still in proverbs.
  • 00:10:14.637 --> 00:10:17.039
  • I wanna show you another little pregnant verse that's in the
  • 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.109
  • Same chapter that we find, "train up a child."
  • 00:10:20.109 --> 00:10:23.813
  • It's in chapter number 22, verse number 15, "foolishness is bound
  • 00:10:23.813 --> 00:10:30.052
  • Up in the heart of the child;" and the answer for that is, "the
  • 00:10:30.052 --> 00:10:33.189
  • Rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
  • 00:10:33.189 --> 00:10:37.560
  • Foolishness is bound up in the mind of a child.
  • 00:10:37.560 --> 00:10:43.332
  • That's our challenge.
  • 00:10:43.332 --> 00:10:46.135
  • Children are fools.
  • 00:10:46.135 --> 00:10:50.039
  • "oh boy, oh, how my child is--"
  • 00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:52.408
  • No, no, children are fools because they cannot determine
  • 00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:57.246
  • That which is best for themselves.
  • 00:10:57.246 --> 00:11:00.883
  • They have free will, but they do not have the ability to make
  • 00:11:00.883 --> 00:11:03.919
  • Those wise choices, do they?
  • 00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:06.589
  • No. a child is self centered.
  • 00:11:06.589 --> 00:11:08.958
  • A child is all about me.
  • 00:11:08.958 --> 00:11:11.060
  • A child is all about what i want, what i like, what gives me
  • 00:11:11.060 --> 00:11:14.296
  • Pleasure, what i love to eat, that's children.
  • 00:11:14.296 --> 00:11:17.199
  • And we can encourage that foolishness, illustration.
  • 00:11:17.199 --> 00:11:20.770
  • Here's a five year old says to mama, "i want what--my friends
  • 00:11:20.770 --> 00:11:25.441
  • Are having to spend the night party over at so and so's house
  • 00:11:25.441 --> 00:11:29.211
  • And i wanna go."
  • 00:11:29.211 --> 00:11:30.546
  • The mother says, "no, you cannot go," five years old.
  • 00:11:30.546 --> 00:11:34.683
  • Man, there's a temper tantrum, "why?
  • 00:11:34.683 --> 00:11:36.418
  • Everybody's going, i'm invited.
  • 00:11:36.418 --> 00:11:37.887
  • They're going to have a good time."
  • 00:11:37.887 --> 00:11:39.388
  • But mama knows what will happen at
  • 00:11:39.388 --> 00:11:42.958
  • That little five year old overnight party.
  • 00:11:42.958 --> 00:11:45.261
  • Mama knows the family, the home in which those children
  • 00:11:45.261 --> 00:11:49.031
  • Will spend the night.
  • 00:11:49.031 --> 00:11:50.366
  • And so mama, without any explanation, says no, and
  • 00:11:50.366 --> 00:11:53.903
  • There's a temper tantrum.
  • 00:11:53.903 --> 00:11:56.672
  • And then mama says, "well, maybe i made a mistake, you know,
  • 00:11:56.672 --> 00:12:00.176
  • Maybe i acted too hasty.
  • 00:12:00.176 --> 00:12:01.510
  • Maybe we need to consider," and then that mother starts to
  • 00:12:01.510 --> 00:12:04.480
  • Negotiate with the child, a five year old, folks?
  • 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:08.684
  • That's the modern world.
  • 00:12:08.684 --> 00:12:10.019
  • You have to cooperate with your children.
  • 00:12:10.019 --> 00:12:13.856
  • Let me tell you something, if no doesn't work and you have to
  • 00:12:13.856 --> 00:12:17.860
  • Bribe-- animals, you train by food and by punishment.
  • 00:12:17.860 --> 00:12:25.000
  • Not humans, not children.
  • 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.703
  • It doesn't work that way, ladies and gentlemen.
  • 00:12:27.703 --> 00:12:30.005
  • And if that mother begins to negotiate with that child, you
  • 00:12:30.005 --> 00:12:33.275
  • Mark it down, wait till that child gets to be a teenager.
  • 00:12:33.275 --> 00:12:36.045
  • You know, i don't know why my teenager's like this.
  • 00:12:36.045 --> 00:12:38.514
  • It's because a father and a mother didn't establish clear,
  • 00:12:38.514 --> 00:12:43.552
  • Without shouting, absolute authority between 3 and 13.
  • 00:12:43.552 --> 00:12:50.993
  • A child has a foolish heart because they cannot determine
  • 00:12:53.395 --> 00:12:58.334
  • With their own understanding, with their background, how to
  • 00:12:58.334 --> 00:13:02.137
  • Really make wise choices, so fathers and mothers have to step
  • 00:13:02.137 --> 00:13:05.808
  • In, and without argument, without debate, without
  • 00:13:05.808 --> 00:13:08.878
  • Negotiation, without manipulation, without rewards,
  • 00:13:08.878 --> 00:13:12.715
  • This is the way we do it.
  • 00:13:12.715 --> 00:13:15.284
  • You do that from 3 to 13, the teenage years will be a blast.
  • 00:13:15.284 --> 00:13:19.455
  • It won't be perfect, but it'll be infinite easier.
  • 00:13:19.455 --> 00:13:22.057
  • Throw a temper tantrum, ho ho.
  • 00:13:22.057 --> 00:13:25.494
  • So then train up a child the way they should go because the child
  • 00:13:25.494 --> 00:13:29.932
  • Has a heart that is foolish.
  • 00:13:29.932 --> 00:13:33.102
  • Anybody want to debate the foolish of a child's heart?
  • 00:13:33.102 --> 00:13:36.805
  • No, we understand that.
  • 00:13:36.805 --> 00:13:40.109
  • What is the answer for that?
  • 00:13:40.109 --> 00:13:42.811
  • This will surprise you.
  • 00:13:42.811 --> 00:13:46.048
  • It is the latter part of that 15th verse.
  • 00:13:46.048 --> 00:13:48.117
  • Look at it.
  • 00:13:48.117 --> 00:13:49.451
  • The rod, "the rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
  • 00:13:49.451 --> 00:13:55.224
  • "the rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
  • 00:13:55.224 --> 00:14:01.130
  • You know the verse, "spare the rod, spoil the child."
  • 00:14:01.130 --> 00:14:05.601
  • Everybody remember that verse?
  • 00:14:05.601 --> 00:14:06.936
  • Only one problem: it's not in the bible.
  • 00:14:06.936 --> 00:14:08.771
  • Hello?
  • 00:14:08.771 --> 00:14:12.641
  • "oh, i thought," no, no, no.
  • 00:14:12.641 --> 00:14:14.810
  • "spare the rod, spoil the child," is not in the bible.
  • 00:14:14.810 --> 00:14:17.112
  • Look for it. can't find it.
  • 00:14:17.112 --> 00:14:19.682
  • All of us who raised our hand, woop, it's not there.
  • 00:14:19.682 --> 00:14:23.552
  • But what is there?
  • 00:14:23.552 --> 00:14:24.887
  • It's the instructions, the latter part of what we do about
  • 00:14:24.887 --> 00:14:28.090
  • Foolishness in the heart of a child as parents.
  • 00:14:28.090 --> 00:14:31.193
  • It says this is what we do.
  • 00:14:31.193 --> 00:14:32.861
  • The rod, "the rod of discipline will move it far from him."
  • 00:14:32.861 --> 00:14:37.433
  • You see the rod of discipline.
  • 00:14:37.433 --> 00:14:40.936
  • Now, the rod there is in the definite article,
  • 00:14:40.936 --> 00:14:45.074
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:14:45.074 --> 00:14:46.408
  • It means that the rod, it is a specific procedure by which we
  • 00:14:46.408 --> 00:14:54.483
  • Engage in as parents to get the foolish out of our children.
  • 00:14:54.483 --> 00:15:00.289
  • A rod, not the baseball player, a rod is an indefinite article.
  • 00:15:00.289 --> 00:15:06.528
  • Rod is used many times in the bible for many things.
  • 00:15:06.528 --> 00:15:09.798
  • It's used for staff, it's used for what the shepherd
  • 00:15:09.798 --> 00:15:12.234
  • Has, it's used and that is a rod.
  • 00:15:12.234 --> 00:15:14.837
  • You find it over there in exodus chapter number 21.
  • 00:15:14.837 --> 00:15:18.440
  • A rod can be harmful.
  • 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:20.242
  • It is a harm.
  • 00:15:20.242 --> 00:15:21.577
  • It is a rod, it is a stick, it is a bar, it is a limb,
  • 00:15:21.577 --> 00:15:25.314
  • It is something they will harm.
  • 00:15:25.314 --> 00:15:26.648
  • But the rod--doesn't mean discipline can't be in there--
  • 00:15:26.648 --> 00:15:31.720
  • But the rod says this is the program, the way god has planned
  • 00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:37.860
  • For you to get foolishness out of your child.
  • 00:15:37.860 --> 00:15:41.296
  • Do you get the difference?
  • 00:15:41.296 --> 00:15:44.700
  • The rod is a definite article every time you
  • 00:15:44.700 --> 00:15:48.837
  • See it in the bible.
  • 00:15:48.837 --> 00:15:50.172
  • And it says this is god's program.
  • 00:15:50.172 --> 00:15:53.542
  • This is the way god operates, it's the rod.
  • 00:15:53.542 --> 00:15:56.245
  • It's the program, the agenda.
  • 00:15:56.245 --> 00:15:58.614
  • And you can look at--you can also, you can turn in your bible
  • 00:15:58.614 --> 00:16:01.750
  • To the very next chapter over to psalm--proverbs 23.
  • 00:16:01.750 --> 00:16:05.220
  • It says, "apply your heart to discipline, and your ears to
  • 00:16:05.220 --> 00:16:08.724
  • Words of knowledge.
  • 00:16:08.724 --> 00:16:10.092
  • Do not hold back discipline from the child.
  • 00:16:10.092 --> 00:16:12.528
  • Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die."
  • 00:16:12.528 --> 00:16:16.532
  • The rod is not a stick.
  • 00:16:16.532 --> 00:16:19.234
  • That is a rod.
  • 00:16:19.234 --> 00:16:20.636
  • The rod is god's principles for getting foolishness out of your
  • 00:16:20.636 --> 00:16:24.940
  • Sons and daughters.
  • 00:16:24.940 --> 00:16:26.308
  • Do you get that? it's very important.
  • 00:16:26.308 --> 00:16:29.178
  • Well, you say, "you don't believe in spanking?"
  • 00:16:29.178 --> 00:16:32.648
  • Yes.
  • 00:16:32.648 --> 00:16:34.183
  • "you don't believe in corporal punishment?"
  • 00:16:34.183 --> 00:16:36.518
  • Yes, but we'll deal with that next time in more detail and
  • 00:16:36.518 --> 00:16:41.590
  • More practicality.
  • 00:16:41.590 --> 00:16:43.092
  • But in the meantime, this verse doesn't say every time your
  • 00:16:43.092 --> 00:16:45.828
  • Child steps out of line, bam.
  • 00:16:45.828 --> 00:16:48.730
  • Some people think that.
  • 00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:50.165
  • Oh, he did this bam, slap.
  • 00:16:50.165 --> 00:16:52.968
  • But no, no, no.
  • 00:16:52.968 --> 00:16:54.436
  • It says that we understand god's program for
  • 00:16:54.436 --> 00:16:58.407
  • Bringing up children.
  • 00:16:58.407 --> 00:16:59.741
  • And that is the rod.
  • 00:16:59.741 --> 00:17:02.811
  • That is a definite article.
  • 00:17:02.811 --> 00:17:05.647
  • A rod is a stick or a board as you see it in the bible.
  • 00:17:05.647 --> 00:17:10.619
  • My point, a child's heart is foolish, and we have to deal
  • 00:17:10.619 --> 00:17:17.826
  • With that foolishness, with diligence, with
  • 00:17:17.826 --> 00:17:22.831
  • Conscientiousness and knowing that our big goal, what we built
  • 00:17:22.831 --> 00:17:26.368
  • In for our children to be and our children to become.
  • 00:17:26.368 --> 00:17:31.173
  • And it says we drive it out by what?
  • 00:17:31.173 --> 00:17:35.777
  • What do we drive it out by?
  • 00:17:35.777 --> 00:17:37.779
  • Right here in the scripture.
  • 00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:39.481
  • Go back to our scripture.
  • 00:17:39.481 --> 00:17:40.949
  • It's very clearly.
  • 00:17:40.949 --> 00:17:42.317
  • It says the rod, the rod, remember the rod is the
  • 00:17:42.317 --> 00:17:46.855
  • Principles of god will remove foolishness from that child.
  • 00:17:46.855 --> 00:17:53.962
  • Now, let's be practical for a moment.
  • 00:17:53.962 --> 00:17:57.799
  • What is the modus operandi of parenting?
  • 00:17:57.799 --> 00:18:02.104
  • Unconditional love.
  • 00:18:02.104 --> 00:18:04.806
  • That's what works in all of this.
  • 00:18:04.806 --> 00:18:06.875
  • That's how we're able to discipline, to instruct.
  • 00:18:06.875 --> 00:18:11.613
  • It's because they know our parents' modus operandi is love
  • 00:18:11.613 --> 00:18:17.819
  • And we want them to know a couple of things, to know that
  • 00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:22.758
  • They are important and to know that they're safe.
  • 00:18:22.758 --> 00:18:27.863
  • Know that they're important and know that they're safe.
  • 00:18:27.863 --> 00:18:30.799
  • And they know that big time most of all by discipline.
  • 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:36.104
  • They know they're loved because we care enough for them
  • 00:18:36.104 --> 00:18:38.974
  • To go out of the way.
  • 00:18:38.974 --> 00:18:40.309
  • It's easier to bribe a child, to appease a child, to stop
  • 00:18:40.309 --> 00:18:44.179
  • The crying.
  • 00:18:44.179 --> 00:18:45.847
  • But how do we use this modus operandi, this unconditional
  • 00:18:45.847 --> 00:18:50.219
  • Love practically in the whole area of getting the foolishness
  • 00:18:50.219 --> 00:18:54.223
  • Out of our sons and daughters.
  • 00:18:54.223 --> 00:18:56.058
  • First of all, we have to control them with our eyes.
  • 00:18:56.058 --> 00:19:05.934
  • We have to control them with our eyes.
  • 00:19:05.934 --> 00:19:10.239
  • A baby is born.
  • 00:19:10.239 --> 00:19:13.175
  • For about, for about three weeks to five weeks, their eyes
  • 00:19:13.175 --> 00:19:19.281
  • Are trying to focus, okay?
  • 00:19:19.281 --> 00:19:21.450
  • About five weeks to eight weeks, their eyes just flit around.
  • 00:19:21.450 --> 00:19:24.419
  • They're looking anywhere.
  • 00:19:24.419 --> 00:19:26.188
  • When they get about eight weeks up, their eyes begin to slow
  • 00:19:26.188 --> 00:19:28.890
  • Down and they're all looking for something.
  • 00:19:28.890 --> 00:19:31.693
  • What is it? they're looking for eyes.
  • 00:19:31.693 --> 00:19:35.797
  • They're looking for the eyes of that mother, the eyes
  • 00:19:35.797 --> 00:19:38.467
  • Of that person.
  • 00:19:38.467 --> 00:19:39.801
  • The eye is so important.
  • 00:19:39.801 --> 00:19:42.104
  • Parents need to understand.
  • 00:19:42.104 --> 00:19:44.206
  • Parents that sort of look at their children, glance at them
  • 00:19:44.206 --> 00:19:46.908
  • And look over here and they're talking over here, you instruct,
  • 00:19:46.908 --> 00:19:50.712
  • You communicate love or discipline with your eyes.
  • 00:19:50.712 --> 00:19:56.518
  • Going back to school, i had an english
  • 00:19:56.518 --> 00:19:57.853
  • Teacher named miss satterfield.
  • 00:19:57.853 --> 00:20:02.090
  • She was something, and the way she disciplined was that when
  • 00:20:02.090 --> 00:20:06.628
  • You're doing something wrong, she would say...
  • 00:20:06.628 --> 00:20:11.566
  • She wouldn't say a word, she'd just looked at you.
  • 00:20:11.566 --> 00:20:13.535
  • We call it the satterfield eye, and i'm telling you, if it were
  • 00:20:13.535 --> 00:20:18.073
  • On you, you straightened up.
  • 00:20:18.073 --> 00:20:20.776
  • I've used that for years, but it works.
  • 00:20:20.776 --> 00:20:23.979
  • So your eyes, we physically contact them with their eyes.
  • 00:20:23.979 --> 00:20:29.584
  • It is so important for parents.
  • 00:20:29.584 --> 00:20:31.987
  • Any personality, ever talk to somebody, they
  • 00:20:31.987 --> 00:20:34.056
  • Sort of talk to you like this.
  • 00:20:34.056 --> 00:20:35.390
  • Now, i don't mean you just stare them down to people, look
  • 00:20:35.390 --> 00:20:37.726
  • In your eyes.
  • 00:20:37.726 --> 00:20:39.061
  • No, you just confidently look at people with their eyes.
  • 00:20:39.061 --> 00:20:43.632
  • Parents, that's the way our children, our babies
  • 00:20:43.632 --> 00:20:47.536
  • Understand love.
  • 00:20:47.536 --> 00:20:48.904
  • Also, there is the physical contact, the eye contact,
  • 00:20:48.904 --> 00:20:52.974
  • The physical contact.
  • 00:20:52.974 --> 00:20:54.309
  • There needs to be hugs, there need to be kisses, they need to
  • 00:20:54.309 --> 00:20:57.045
  • Be touch.
  • 00:20:57.045 --> 00:20:58.513
  • Even--particularly a teenage girl used to be a teenager,
  • 00:20:58.513 --> 00:21:01.149
  • Her dad needs to hug her in the right way, hug her.
  • 00:21:01.149 --> 00:21:04.586
  • In fact, there's a study been done,
  • 00:21:04.586 --> 00:21:06.421
  • I don't know how accurate is, that everybody needs ten hugs
  • 00:21:06.421 --> 00:21:09.591
  • A day.
  • 00:21:09.591 --> 00:21:11.993
  • That just helps everything.
  • 00:21:11.993 --> 00:21:14.229
  • This has nothing to do with sensuality.
  • 00:21:14.229 --> 00:21:16.798
  • By the way, they have large professional huggers
  • 00:21:16.798 --> 00:21:20.502
  • All over america now.
  • 00:21:20.502 --> 00:21:21.837
  • It is not prostitution, it's not anything sensual.
  • 00:21:21.837 --> 00:21:24.906
  • They're just people who go around and they hug
  • 00:21:24.906 --> 00:21:28.043
  • People in rest homes.
  • 00:21:28.043 --> 00:21:29.378
  • After covid, they were really popular, and they just go and
  • 00:21:29.378 --> 00:21:32.647
  • Hug people and hug people.
  • 00:21:32.647 --> 00:21:34.583
  • One lady i read about made over $300,000 a year as a hugger, a
  • 00:21:34.583 --> 00:21:39.087
  • Professional hugger.
  • 00:21:39.087 --> 00:21:41.990
  • Why?
  • 00:21:41.990 --> 00:21:44.059
  • By our eyes, we communicate, we care, we love by hugging and
  • 00:21:44.059 --> 00:21:48.830
  • Affection in the right way, we communicate that.
  • 00:21:48.830 --> 00:21:52.901
  • We all need about ten hugs a day.
  • 00:21:52.901 --> 00:21:56.238
  • This is what we have.
  • 00:21:56.238 --> 00:21:57.572
  • Also, there needs to be not only eye contact, physical contact,
  • 00:21:57.572 --> 00:22:03.178
  • There has to be emotional contact.
  • 00:22:03.178 --> 00:22:06.448
  • Study your baby, study your son, your daughter and get to know
  • 00:22:06.448 --> 00:22:10.118
  • Them and understand their heart and somehow bind your heart
  • 00:22:10.118 --> 00:22:14.723
  • Around their heart.
  • 00:22:14.723 --> 00:22:16.758
  • And then you begin really to be a successful parent in the
  • 00:22:16.758 --> 00:22:20.829
  • 21st century.
  • 00:22:20.829 --> 00:22:23.698
  • It starts way back during pregnancy.
  • 00:22:23.698 --> 00:22:27.302
  • Certainly when they're born.
  • 00:22:27.302 --> 00:22:29.638
  • These are biblical principles that are beautiful when
  • 00:22:29.638 --> 00:22:33.208
  • We practice them.
  • 00:22:33.208 --> 00:22:34.543
  • We see wonderful things coming through the life of your
  • 00:22:34.543 --> 00:22:38.180
  • Children and my children and my grandchildren.
  • 00:22:38.180 --> 00:22:42.350
  • This is how we do it.
  • 00:22:42.350 --> 00:22:46.855
  • Tommy edison was in the second grade.
  • 00:22:46.855 --> 00:22:53.161
  • He came home from school one day, and tommy gave his mother a
  • 00:22:53.161 --> 00:22:56.765
  • Note and said, "mother, this note is from the teacher, and
  • 00:22:56.765 --> 00:23:06.074
  • She told me to give it to you."
  • 00:23:06.074 --> 00:23:09.478
  • And the note read, "dear mrs. edison," and as the mother read
  • 00:23:09.478 --> 00:23:16.284
  • It to little tommy, he said, read it to me, and with tears in
  • 00:23:16.284 --> 00:23:20.155
  • Her eyes, that she's read,
  • 00:23:20.155 --> 00:23:21.923
  • "dear mrs. edison, your son tommy is brilliant.
  • 00:23:21.923 --> 00:23:27.963
  • He's a genius.
  • 00:23:27.963 --> 00:23:29.731
  • He's far beyond the ability of any teacher in this school to
  • 00:23:29.731 --> 00:23:32.901
  • Teach him.
  • 00:23:32.901 --> 00:23:34.236
  • You're going to have to teach him at home.
  • 00:23:34.236 --> 00:23:37.172
  • He's not welcome back here because he is far, far beyond
  • 00:23:37.172 --> 00:23:41.643
  • Anything we can do."
  • 00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:43.578
  • Mmm.
  • 00:23:43.578 --> 00:23:44.980
  • So, mrs. edison taught her son at home.
  • 00:23:44.980 --> 00:23:49.985
  • He became thomas edison, perhaps one of the most creative minds
  • 00:23:49.985 --> 00:23:56.091
  • Ever produced, not only in america, but in the world.
  • 00:23:56.091 --> 00:24:00.328
  • When his mother died, years later, he was looking through
  • 00:24:00.328 --> 00:24:04.799
  • Some things in a drawer.
  • 00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:07.502
  • And according to his memoir, he saw that little note that he'd
  • 00:24:07.502 --> 00:24:11.706
  • Carried home to his mother.
  • 00:24:11.706 --> 00:24:14.643
  • And he said, "you know, i want to read that note myself."
  • 00:24:14.643 --> 00:24:17.045
  • And the note didn't say what his mother said that it said, the
  • 00:24:17.045 --> 00:24:21.983
  • Note said, "your son is addled," that meant mentally ill in
  • 00:24:21.983 --> 00:24:26.555
  • That day.
  • 00:24:26.555 --> 00:24:28.423
  • "we won't let him come back to school here anymore.
  • 00:24:28.423 --> 00:24:33.295
  • You'll have to teach him."
  • 00:24:33.295 --> 00:24:36.364
  • Edison said when he read that, he cried and cried for hours.
  • 00:24:36.364 --> 00:24:43.171
  • And then he wrote in his memoir, these words, "thomas alva edison
  • 00:24:43.171 --> 00:24:49.678
  • Was an addled child that a hero mother became--became the genius
  • 00:24:49.678 --> 00:24:57.953
  • Of the century.
  • 00:24:57.953 --> 00:24:59.854
  • Mom and dad, everybody may give up on your son and daughter
  • 00:24:59.854 --> 00:25:03.291
  • Because they say, "oh, they're fools," but a mom and dad who
  • 00:25:03.291 --> 00:25:08.897
  • Brings a child up, teaching, loving with unconditional love.
  • 00:25:08.897 --> 00:25:17.639
  • You'll be amazed at what that son and daughter will become.
  • 00:25:19.374 --> 00:25:23.912
  • Ed: there's never been a better time than right
  • 00:25:26.114 --> 00:25:28.717
  • Now to make god a priority in your life.
  • 00:25:28.717 --> 00:25:32.387
  • That's why we've created this 90 day devotional, "putting god
  • 00:25:32.387 --> 00:25:36.725
  • First," number one.
  • 00:25:36.725 --> 00:25:38.660
  • And when you and i do that, he is faithful to give the
  • 00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:41.997
  • Direction of guidance you and i need every day to walk
  • 00:25:41.997 --> 00:25:45.600
  • Through life.
  • 00:25:45.600 --> 00:25:46.935
  • It is my prayer that this devotional will help you to
  • 00:25:46.935 --> 00:25:49.437
  • Become all that god has designed you to become.
  • 00:25:49.437 --> 00:25:53.942
  • Male announcer: call today or go online at winningwalk.org to get
  • 00:25:53.942 --> 00:25:57.712
  • Your copy of dr. young's 90 day devotional "putting god first."
  • 00:25:57.712 --> 00:26:02.517
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:26:05.387 --> 00:26:18.633
  • Pastor ed: of all the responsibilities god has
  • 00:26:19.934 --> 00:26:21.903
  • Entrusted to me, i can't think of more thrilling or challenging
  • 00:26:21.903 --> 00:26:25.373
  • One than being a parent.
  • 00:26:25.373 --> 00:26:27.676
  • Our kids are a gift from the almighty.
  • 00:26:27.676 --> 00:26:30.311
  • We are to nurture them, to teach them, to build of them the right
  • 00:26:30.311 --> 00:26:33.848
  • Stuff as sons and daughters.
  • 00:26:33.848 --> 00:26:36.117
  • As you've probably figured out by now, parenting is truly a
  • 00:26:36.117 --> 00:26:39.921
  • Full-time job, and sometimes it could be an overwhelming task.
  • 00:26:39.921 --> 00:26:45.527
  • But thankfully, we do not have to do it alone.
  • 00:26:45.527 --> 00:26:48.697
  • You can begin today by admitting that you don't have all
  • 00:26:48.697 --> 00:26:51.900
  • The answers, i certainly don't.
  • 00:26:51.900 --> 00:26:54.102
  • And then we turn to the one who does, god.
  • 00:26:54.102 --> 00:26:58.506
  • God's word, the bible offers practical principles for
  • 00:26:58.506 --> 00:27:02.043
  • Parenting today and every single day.
  • 00:27:02.043 --> 00:27:05.280
  • So stop relying on yourself and your own knowledge and skills
  • 00:27:05.280 --> 00:27:09.250
  • And instead start depending on god and his divine wisdom.
  • 00:27:09.250 --> 00:27:16.291
  • He invented the family.
  • 00:27:16.291 --> 00:27:18.526
  • Invite jesus to be the leader in your home.
  • 00:27:18.526 --> 00:27:21.629
  • And i can't think of anyone more qualified than jesus.
  • 00:27:21.629 --> 00:27:25.800
  • Can you?
  • 00:27:25.800 --> 00:27:27.769