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Rick Warren

Rick Warren - Keeping The Crazymakers From Making You Crazy! (Part 1)

April 6, 2025 | S25:E14

Rick Warren - Keeping The Crazymakers From Making You Crazy! (Part 1)
Pastor Rick shares biblical truth and practical tools for living the full life God desires for everyone.
#Faith #TrustGod #Wisdom #Offense #Forgiveness #Sacrifice #Religion #Truth #WordofGod #inActive #NewBeginning #RickWarren #Foolishness #Proverbs12:16

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Rick Warren | Rick Warren - Keeping The Crazymakers From Making You Crazy! (Part 1) | April 6, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Pastor rick warren: for the past eight weeks, we have been
  • 00:00:19.908 --> 00:00:22.510
  • Dealing with how to deal with difficult people, and i've
  • 00:00:22.510 --> 00:00:26.081
  • Called the series "you make me crazy."
  • 00:00:26.081 --> 00:00:29.617
  • And what i want to do this week as we conclude it and as i
  • 00:00:29.617 --> 00:00:33.388
  • Introduce a new series that we're gonna begin next week, i
  • 00:00:33.388 --> 00:00:36.391
  • Want us to summarize kind of what we've learned about what
  • 00:00:36.391 --> 00:00:40.595
  • God says about unhealthy and healthy relationships.
  • 00:00:40.595 --> 00:00:44.699
  • And i'm going to take you through some steps that kind of
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  • Summarize what to do with the crazymakers in your life, and
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  • I'm calling this message "keeping the crazymakers from
  • 00:00:53.308 --> 00:00:56.511
  • Making you crazy!"
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  • And before we look at those steps, i want to just pause and
  • 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:01.983
  • Review, what is a crazymaker?
  • 00:01:01.983 --> 00:01:05.220
  • Now, i could give you a list of 100 different kinds of people,
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  • But let me give you six of the most common.
  • 00:01:08.556 --> 00:01:10.825
  • So pull out a pencil and write these down, and as i write them
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  • Down, don't look at them, okay?
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  • Don't embarrass them.
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  • But these are different people that we have that we have to
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  • Work with, we have to live with, we have in our neighborhoods, in
  • 00:01:21.769 --> 00:01:24.906
  • Our communities, soccer games and church everywhere.
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  • And how do we deal with these different kinds of people?
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  • Let's look at them.
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  • Number one is what i call demanding,
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  • Demanding crazymakers.
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  • These are the little dictators of life, the little napoleons,
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  • The little saddams.
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  • They're bossy, they're pushy, they're controlling in every
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  • Area; they're intimidating.
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  • They dominate every conversation.
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  • They turn every conversation into a into a power struggle.
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  • They make unrealistic demands on your life, on your time, on your
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  • Schedule, and they just push, push, push.
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  • They are demanding and it drives you crazy, demanding
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  • Crazymakers, the little dictators.
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  • The second kind is what i call disapproving, disapproving
  • 00:02:07.982 --> 00:02:13.555
  • Crazymakers, and these are what i call the nitpickers, and they
  • 00:02:13.555 --> 00:02:18.193
  • Are picky, picky, picky, picky, picky.
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  • They are highly critical.
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  • Your best is never good enough.
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  • They always want more.
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  • They tend to be negative, they tend to be judgmental, they are
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  • Unpleasable, they're perfectionist, and they love to
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  • Point out your mistakes.
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  • And the disapproving crazymakers, no matter what you
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  • Do, it's just not good enough and that drives you crazy,
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  • The nitpickers.
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  • The third kind of crazymakers are what i call deafening,
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  • Deafening crazymakers 'cause they're loud.
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  • They are loud mouths.
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  • I call these people the megaphones of life.
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  • And they're loud and they like to talk, and they like to talk
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  • At a loud--often 120 decibels.
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  • If you get a megaphone on the phone, you're not gonna get off
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  • For at least 15 minutes, because they just keep talking and
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  • Talking, and they talk you into surrender, to finally just
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  • Go--you hold up the white flag, "i give up, okay, i give up.
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  • You've talked me into the ground."
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  • And they absolutely love to argue.
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  • These are the megaphones.
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  • Number four, the destructive crazymakers, the
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  • Destructive crazymakers.
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  • And these are the people who have uncontrolled anger, and i
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  • Call them the volcanoes.
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  • And we've all had volcanoes in our lives, it's very easy to
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  • See them.
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  • You know--you never know when they're going to erupt, but when
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  • They erupt, you know it.
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  • They've got a temper like mount vesuvius, or like mount saint
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  • Helens, and they blow up and they explode, and when they do,
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  • It leaves scorching hot lava burning everything in the path.
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  • If you have a volcano in your life, you tend to walk on
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  • Eggshells part of the time.
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  • The family can live in fear of when the next blowup's going
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  • To be.
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  • There's a lot of tension and the burn casualties are quite high;
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  • The destructive crazymakers, the volcanoes.
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  • Numbers five, i call these people the discontented,
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  • Discontented crazymakers.
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  • Discontented crazymakers get their feelings hurt very,
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  • Very easily.
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  • They're very touchy, they're very thin-skinned, and they
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  • Whine a lot; i call them the crybabies.
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  • And we all know crybabies, they have a daily pity party.
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  • They invite themselves and they like to moan and to mourn and
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  • The "poor me."
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  • And they're chronic complainers and they've got a martyr
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  • Complex, and they get their attention by whining.
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  • And when they whine, they kind of get that nasally sound of
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  • Whining all the time, and it just grates on you like your
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  • Fingernails on a blackboard.
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  • These are the cry babies, the discontented crazymakers.
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  • They are never happy.
  • 00:05:09.964 --> 00:05:12.367
  • And then number six, a sixth kind, a common crazymaker of
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  • What i call demeaning, demeaning crazymakers.
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  • And these people are the smart mouths.
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  • And the smart mouths are the ones who are always running off
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  • Of the mouth, and they're rude and they're insulting, and they
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  • Use caustic language and maybe they cuss.
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  • But more than just cussing and complaining and caustic
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  • Language, they're bubble bursters: they like to bust your
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  • Bubble, they like to tear your dream down, they love to deflate
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  • You, they love to tear you down.
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  • They get particular joy in telling you how you don't
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  • Measure up.
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  • And they can be disrespectful, and they can be petty, and they
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  • Can be mean, and these are the smart mouths.
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  • And by the way, people who are rude all the time, they're rude
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  • Because they have enormous insecurities.
  • 00:06:01.616 --> 00:06:04.118
  • The more insecure a person is, the more rude they tend to be.
  • 00:06:04.118 --> 00:06:09.056
  • Now what i want to do this weekend is i want to take you
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  • Through a summary of verses of what the bible says about how do
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  • You deal with these kind of people in your life, and i'm
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  • Going to give you six steps.
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  • I've discovered in my own life that each step tends to get a
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  • Little bit harder than the one before.
  • 00:06:24.439 --> 00:06:26.741
  • The first one's hard, but the second one's even harder, and
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  • The third one's even harder, but this is the way you deal with
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  • Difficult people.
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  • This is the way you counter the crazymakers in your life,
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  • According to the bible.
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  • All right, let's get right into it.
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  • Number one, the first thing you need to do with a crazymaker is
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  • This: refuse to be offended.
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  • I refuse to be offended, and what i mean by that is i don't
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  • Take it personally, no matter what they say, no matter what
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  • They do, no matter how outrageous their behavior is, no
  • 00:07:01.542 --> 00:07:05.046
  • Matter what they insult me with, or how they act or react or the
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  • Way they look with their body language.
  • 00:07:09.650 --> 00:07:11.786
  • When people are rude, they are revealing themselves, not you.
  • 00:07:11.786 --> 00:07:16.824
  • They're telling you what's in them, not what's in you.
  • 00:07:16.824 --> 00:07:20.862
  • When people are mean, when people are controlling, they're
  • 00:07:20.862 --> 00:07:24.332
  • Not saying anything about you.
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  • It doesn't say anything about you.
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  • It says about who they are.
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  • It tells you what their problem is.
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  • So don't be offended by it, it's not about you.
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  • They're just a crazymaker.
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  • Now the reality is, there's a lot in life you could get
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  • Offended by.
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  • In fact, there's a lot of things in life you ought to be
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  • Offended by.
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  • I get offended by a lot of things.
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  • I'm offended by injustice in the world, when people go to bed
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  • Hungry at night and a lot of us have so much.
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  • I'm offended by racism.
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  • I'm offended by babies whose lives are taken before they're
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  • Even born.
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  • I'm offended by exploitation of sex and women who are exploited
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  • For sex trafficking and things like--there are a lot of things
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  • You ought to be offended by.
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  • But when it comes to personal relationships, god says, get
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  • Over it.
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  • As much as you can, try not to be offended by other people.
  • 00:08:20.955 --> 00:08:25.426
  • In other words, if you wanted to, you could have such a thin
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  • Skin, everything everybody does offends you and you're gonna be
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  • Unhappy most of your life.
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  • So you've got to learn that emotional and spiritual maturity
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  • Is largely determined by how you treat those who mistreat you.
  • 00:08:41.108 --> 00:08:48.282
  • Let me say that again: how mature you are emotionally and
  • 00:08:48.282 --> 00:08:53.020
  • Spiritually is largely revealed in how i respond, how i treat
  • 00:08:53.020 --> 00:08:58.859
  • Those who mistreat me, and how i treat those who
  • 00:08:58.859 --> 00:09:02.196
  • Misunderstand me.
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  • Do i do tit for tat?
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  • Do i get even?
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  • If they hit me, i hit them back?
  • 00:09:07.068 --> 00:09:08.469
  • If they hurt me, i hurt them back?
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  • If they insult me, i insult them back?
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  • They get angry at me, i get angry back?
  • 00:09:11.973 --> 00:09:13.574
  • Then i'm no better than they are.
  • 00:09:13.574 --> 00:09:16.210
  • Emotional and spiritual maturity is determined by my reaction to
  • 00:09:16.210 --> 00:09:22.283
  • The people who try to hurt me, try to con--you know, the
  • 00:09:22.283 --> 00:09:25.286
  • Demanding, the demeaning, the confusing, all of those people,
  • 00:09:25.286 --> 00:09:28.055
  • The destructive and disapproving people in my life.
  • 00:09:28.055 --> 00:09:32.193
  • How do i handle those kind of people?
  • 00:09:32.193 --> 00:09:36.030
  • One of the keys to happiness in life, it's not the only one, but
  • 00:09:36.030 --> 00:09:39.634
  • One of the keys to happiness in life is you need to develop a
  • 00:09:39.634 --> 00:09:43.170
  • Thicker skin and just not be offended by so many things.
  • 00:09:43.170 --> 00:09:47.975
  • Now, what you need to pray is say, "god, give me a tender
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  • Heart and a tough hide.
  • 00:09:51.245 --> 00:09:55.049
  • Give me a tender heart and a tough--" usually we get
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  • The opposite.
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  • We get thin-skinned and tough-hearted.
  • 00:09:59.520 --> 00:10:01.756
  • God said, "no, no, no, you should always have a
  • 00:10:01.756 --> 00:10:03.658
  • Tender heart."
  • 00:10:03.658 --> 00:10:05.092
  • But you need to get a little bit thicker skin so not everything
  • 00:10:05.092 --> 00:10:08.462
  • Just sets you off, not everything offends you; you
  • 00:10:08.462 --> 00:10:11.465
  • Don't always get upset no matter what people say.
  • 00:10:11.465 --> 00:10:14.268
  • When somebody looks cross eyed at you or, you know, on the
  • 00:10:14.268 --> 00:10:17.571
  • Freeway, somebody flips you off, it doesn't bother you.
  • 00:10:17.571 --> 00:10:21.142
  • You don't get upset about it.
  • 00:10:21.142 --> 00:10:23.010
  • Somebody is rude to you, a clerk or something like that, a clerk
  • 00:10:23.010 --> 00:10:25.746
  • Who's a jerk, and they, you know, they're just
  • 00:10:25.746 --> 00:10:29.617
  • Having a tough day, you need to get a little bit thicker skin.
  • 00:10:29.617 --> 00:10:33.354
  • Now, how do i do that?
  • 00:10:33.354 --> 00:10:35.790
  • How do i keep from taking personal offense at the
  • 00:10:35.790 --> 00:10:40.594
  • Crazymakers in my life?
  • 00:10:40.594 --> 00:10:41.929
  • Look at this first verse, proverbs 12:16.
  • 00:10:41.929 --> 00:10:45.199
  • Let's read it aloud together.
  • 00:10:45.199 --> 00:10:47.735
  • "when a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known.
  • 00:10:47.735 --> 00:10:53.074
  • But wise people will ignore an insult."
  • 00:10:53.074 --> 00:10:56.577
  • Circle the word "wise."
  • 00:10:56.577 --> 00:10:59.246
  • If you're wise, you ignore an insult.
  • 00:10:59.246 --> 00:11:03.084
  • If you respond to an insult with an insult, you're a fool.
  • 00:11:03.084 --> 00:11:07.188
  • Foolish people give out what they get.
  • 00:11:07.188 --> 00:11:11.025
  • He says that's not good, that's not wise, that's dumb, "when a
  • 00:11:11.025 --> 00:11:15.730
  • Fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known."
  • 00:11:15.730 --> 00:11:18.332
  • In other words, somebody hurts me, i hurt them right back.
  • 00:11:18.332 --> 00:11:20.835
  • They make a tacky statement to me and i make a tacky statement
  • 00:11:20.835 --> 00:11:23.571
  • Back, "when a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known.
  • 00:11:23.571 --> 00:11:27.007
  • But wise people ignore an insult."
  • 00:11:27.007 --> 00:11:30.911
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:11:30.911 --> 00:11:37.518
  • Pastor rick: every year, christians from all over the
  • 00:11:37.585 --> 00:11:40.221
  • World remember the death and resurrection of jesus christ by
  • 00:11:40.221 --> 00:11:43.591
  • Traveling to jerusalem, where they walk the path that jesus
  • 00:11:43.591 --> 00:11:47.294
  • Took on the way to the cross.
  • 00:11:47.294 --> 00:11:48.796
  • That path is called the "via dolorosa."
  • 00:11:48.796 --> 00:11:51.499
  • Now, since you may not be able to ever travel to jerusalem, i
  • 00:11:51.499 --> 00:11:54.702
  • Want to suggest a way for you to celebrate and reflect on and
  • 00:11:54.702 --> 00:11:58.672
  • Pray about what jesus did for you on the cross.
  • 00:11:58.672 --> 00:12:02.143
  • So i've created a brand new one of a kind resource, "journey
  • 00:12:02.143 --> 00:12:06.113
  • With jesus," a deluxe, hardcover gift edition book that's
  • 00:12:06.113 --> 00:12:11.285
  • Illustrated with really beautiful, high quality, glossy
  • 00:12:11.285 --> 00:12:14.822
  • Photos of mosaic tile artwork that reflect each of the stops
  • 00:12:14.822 --> 00:12:19.794
  • That jesus made on his journey to the cross.
  • 00:12:19.794 --> 00:12:23.664
  • You're not ever going to forget this gift.
  • 00:12:23.664 --> 00:12:25.199
  • It's a great book to keep and to study over and over again, and
  • 00:12:25.199 --> 00:12:29.470
  • Then make a great gift for your family and your friends too.
  • 00:12:29.470 --> 00:12:33.707
  • Male announcer: this one of a
  • 00:12:33.707 --> 00:12:35.042
  • Kind resource is only available
  • 00:12:35.042 --> 00:12:36.844
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  • Pastor rick: now we've talked about this three different times
  • 00:12:49.824 --> 00:12:51.926
  • In this series, that when you're dealing with people who are
  • 00:12:51.926 --> 00:12:55.629
  • Offensive, when you're dealing with people who are irritating,
  • 00:12:55.629 --> 00:12:58.432
  • People who are crazymakers in your life, you need to look past
  • 00:12:58.432 --> 00:13:02.069
  • The behavior, to the pain, because everything we do is
  • 00:13:02.069 --> 00:13:07.408
  • Motivated by something.
  • 00:13:07.408 --> 00:13:09.343
  • And when people are hurting others, it's because they're
  • 00:13:09.343 --> 00:13:11.812
  • Hurting on the inside; hurt people, hurt people.
  • 00:13:11.812 --> 00:13:15.249
  • And they've got a fear, they've got an insecurity, they've got a
  • 00:13:15.249 --> 00:13:19.186
  • Painful past, they've got a pressure in the current that
  • 00:13:19.186 --> 00:13:22.857
  • Maybe you don't know about.
  • 00:13:22.857 --> 00:13:24.892
  • And one of the ways you can learn to not be offended by
  • 00:13:24.892 --> 00:13:27.361
  • Other people is to not look at their behavior, and to just look
  • 00:13:27.361 --> 00:13:31.432
  • Past and go, "i wonder what causes them to be that way, to
  • 00:13:31.432 --> 00:13:34.869
  • Be that short with me.
  • 00:13:34.869 --> 00:13:36.203
  • Did they get out of bed on the wrong side?
  • 00:13:36.203 --> 00:13:38.272
  • They have a fight with their husband or their wife today?
  • 00:13:38.272 --> 00:13:42.142
  • Are they going bankrupt, or what's cause, what's
  • 00:13:42.142 --> 00:13:44.745
  • The pressure?
  • 00:13:44.745 --> 00:13:46.080
  • What's the thorn in their foot that's causing them to be mean
  • 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:49.016
  • To everybody else around them?
  • 00:13:49.016 --> 00:13:51.285
  • And you look past the behavior and look at the pain and try
  • 00:13:51.285 --> 00:13:58.425
  • To understand.
  • 00:13:58.425 --> 00:13:59.994
  • Now, the more you understand somebody's background, the more
  • 00:13:59.994 --> 00:14:04.632
  • Grace you're going to show them.
  • 00:14:04.632 --> 00:14:06.934
  • The people who you find it most difficult to deal with, the
  • 00:14:06.934 --> 00:14:10.604
  • People who irritate you the most, are people at the office
  • 00:14:10.604 --> 00:14:13.574
  • Who are obnoxious and you know nothing about their background,
  • 00:14:13.574 --> 00:14:18.512
  • So you don't count them any slack.
  • 00:14:18.512 --> 00:14:20.514
  • You don't know that maybe they were molested.
  • 00:14:20.514 --> 00:14:23.083
  • You don't know that maybe they were orphaned, or you don't know
  • 00:14:23.083 --> 00:14:25.486
  • That maybe they've gone through three marriages and the husband
  • 00:14:25.486 --> 00:14:28.122
  • Walked out on them, you know, three times.
  • 00:14:28.122 --> 00:14:30.691
  • You don't know their story and so you're not cutting 'em any
  • 00:14:30.691 --> 00:14:33.994
  • Slack, you're not showing 'em any grace.
  • 00:14:33.994 --> 00:14:35.863
  • Here's what the bible says.
  • 00:14:35.863 --> 00:14:38.032
  • Proverbs 19:11, "a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his
  • 00:14:38.032 --> 00:14:45.072
  • Glory to overlook an offense."
  • 00:14:45.072 --> 00:14:48.842
  • You're going to get offended, why?
  • 00:14:48.842 --> 00:14:50.444
  • Because your wisdom gives you patience.
  • 00:14:50.444 --> 00:14:52.579
  • When you understand somebody's background, you understand the
  • 00:14:52.579 --> 00:14:55.649
  • Current stress, it's easier to show grace, that gives you
  • 00:14:55.649 --> 00:14:59.019
  • Patience and then you overlook the offense.
  • 00:14:59.019 --> 00:15:02.423
  • What i'm talking about here is real love.
  • 00:15:02.423 --> 00:15:06.193
  • In fact, the bible says, refusing to be offended by other
  • 00:15:06.193 --> 00:15:10.664
  • People is actually an act of mature love.
  • 00:15:10.664 --> 00:15:14.735
  • It shows you how much love you've got in your heart.
  • 00:15:14.735 --> 00:15:17.871
  • The more love you have in your heart, the harder it is to
  • 00:15:17.871 --> 00:15:20.975
  • Offend you on a personal basis.
  • 00:15:20.975 --> 00:15:23.944
  • The less love, the more insecure you feel, the easier it is to
  • 00:15:23.944 --> 00:15:27.314
  • Offend you.
  • 00:15:27.314 --> 00:15:29.216
  • Now, the bible says in proverbs 10:12, "love overlooks the
  • 00:15:29.216 --> 00:15:33.520
  • Wrongs that others do.
  • 00:15:33.520 --> 00:15:36.323
  • Love overlooks the wrongs that others do."
  • 00:15:36.323 --> 00:15:39.126
  • The more filled i am with love, the less i'm going to be upset
  • 00:15:39.126 --> 00:15:43.130
  • With you when you are demanding or demeaning or disapproving
  • 00:15:43.130 --> 00:15:48.202
  • Or whatever.
  • 00:15:48.202 --> 00:15:49.536
  • So this is the first step, i must choose to refuse.
  • 00:15:49.536 --> 00:15:54.074
  • I choose to refuse to be offended, and i don't take
  • 00:15:54.074 --> 00:15:58.545
  • It personal.
  • 00:15:58.545 --> 00:16:00.014
  • I don't take it personal.
  • 00:16:00.014 --> 00:16:01.348
  • Pastor tom's going to come and talk about the next two steps.
  • 00:16:01.348 --> 00:16:06.787
  • Pastor tom: number two, you don't wait for an apology before
  • 00:16:06.787 --> 00:16:10.524
  • You forgive them.
  • 00:16:10.524 --> 00:16:12.126
  • You don't wait for an apology to forgive them.
  • 00:16:12.126 --> 00:16:15.529
  • I think many of us, we've got some crazymaker in our life who
  • 00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:18.399
  • Has done some crazy hurtful thing to us, or maybe even more
  • 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.202
  • Importantly, to somebody that we love.
  • 00:16:22.202 --> 00:16:24.505
  • And in our minds we think, "well, i know the christian
  • 00:16:24.505 --> 00:16:26.607
  • Thing to do is to forgive, and so i will, i will forgive them
  • 00:16:26.607 --> 00:16:30.444
  • As soon as they give me an apology, the right kind of
  • 00:16:30.444 --> 00:16:33.147
  • Apology, then i will forgive them."
  • 00:16:33.147 --> 00:16:35.649
  • The problem with that is you're still holding on to the hurt.
  • 00:16:35.649 --> 00:16:39.119
  • The problem with that is, in fact, the truth of it is, they
  • 00:16:39.119 --> 00:16:41.755
  • May never ask you for forgiveness.
  • 00:16:41.755 --> 00:16:44.324
  • They may never say, "i'm sorry," because they're a crazymaker.
  • 00:16:44.324 --> 00:16:47.694
  • They don't get it, and because they don't get it, they may not
  • 00:16:47.694 --> 00:16:50.064
  • Even realize what they've done and so you end up stewing over
  • 00:16:50.064 --> 00:16:53.600
  • Something, holding resentment over something that they've long
  • 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.737
  • Ago forgotten, and it's eating you up inside.
  • 00:16:56.737 --> 00:17:00.707
  • Never hold on to a hurt, because resentment tears you up.
  • 00:17:00.707 --> 00:17:04.111
  • Resentment, they don't even know about it.
  • 00:17:04.111 --> 00:17:05.679
  • It's not hurting them, it's hurting you.
  • 00:17:05.679 --> 00:17:07.915
  • Resentment is like you drinking poison, hoping it's gonna
  • 00:17:07.915 --> 00:17:11.452
  • Kill them.
  • 00:17:11.452 --> 00:17:12.786
  • It doesn't work.
  • 00:17:12.786 --> 00:17:14.154
  • It never will work.
  • 00:17:14.154 --> 00:17:15.489
  • So you just say, "even before anything else happens, i'm going
  • 00:17:15.489 --> 00:17:17.825
  • To decide right now.
  • 00:17:17.825 --> 00:17:20.094
  • I'm not going to wait for this to happen or that to happen.
  • 00:17:20.094 --> 00:17:22.429
  • I'm going to decide right here, right now, maybe even tonight,
  • 00:17:22.429 --> 00:17:25.632
  • I'm going to forgive them.
  • 00:17:25.632 --> 00:17:27.234
  • I'm going to forgive them.
  • 00:17:27.301 --> 00:17:30.037
  • Question, is it smart to ignore god's directions?
  • 00:17:30.037 --> 00:17:34.608
  • No, it's a dumb thing to do, because god gave us directions
  • 00:17:34.608 --> 00:17:38.245
  • Knowing who we are.
  • 00:17:38.245 --> 00:17:39.613
  • He made us, he created us, and god gave us directions loving
  • 00:17:39.613 --> 00:17:42.182
  • Who we are.
  • 00:17:42.182 --> 00:17:43.517
  • He wants to make of our lives the best that he can.
  • 00:17:43.517 --> 00:17:45.119
  • So if i ignore his directions, it's always a dumb thing to do.
  • 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:48.455
  • It's always an illogical, irrational thing to do.
  • 00:17:48.455 --> 00:17:50.991
  • It always creates self-inflicted pain.
  • 00:17:50.991 --> 00:17:52.893
  • That person who hurts you, they are facing that because of their
  • 00:17:52.893 --> 00:17:55.896
  • Sin against you.
  • 00:17:55.896 --> 00:17:57.264
  • So why should you double that up by you ignoring god's directions
  • 00:17:57.264 --> 00:18:00.434
  • About forgiving, about letting it go?
  • 00:18:00.434 --> 00:18:02.903
  • You put it into god's hands.
  • 00:18:02.903 --> 00:18:04.271
  • Forgiving doesn't mean you forget that it ever happened,
  • 00:18:04.271 --> 00:18:06.273
  • You're still going to remember.
  • 00:18:06.273 --> 00:18:07.608
  • It means you put it in his hands and you stop holding on to the
  • 00:18:07.608 --> 00:18:09.610
  • Resentment, and you also realize that some of those hurts that
  • 00:18:09.610 --> 00:18:13.447
  • You and i are holding resentments over, there are many
  • 00:18:13.447 --> 00:18:16.183
  • Times when people act foolishly--i've done this
  • 00:18:16.183 --> 00:18:18.285
  • Towards others and you have to if you're honest about it--we
  • 00:18:18.285 --> 00:18:20.654
  • Act foolishly towards other people and we don't even realize
  • 00:18:20.654 --> 00:18:22.990
  • What we've done.
  • 00:18:22.990 --> 00:18:24.324
  • So you're holding the resentment and they have no idea they're
  • 00:18:24.324 --> 00:18:26.994
  • Even supposed to ask for forgiveness.
  • 00:18:26.994 --> 00:18:29.863
  • Jesus said this even in the most extreme of circumstances.
  • 00:18:29.863 --> 00:18:33.300
  • Look at this next verse in the outline, luke 23:34, he's
  • 00:18:33.300 --> 00:18:35.802
  • Hanging on the cross, and jesus says, "father, forgive them, for
  • 00:18:35.802 --> 00:18:39.873
  • They don't know what they're doing.
  • 00:18:39.873 --> 00:18:42.276
  • They don't know what they're doing."
  • 00:18:42.276 --> 00:18:44.211
  • Not everyone who is a crazymaker in your life, who bugs you or
  • 00:18:44.211 --> 00:18:48.315
  • Even hurts you, realizes what they're doing.
  • 00:18:48.315 --> 00:18:50.517
  • Oftentimes they're responding to their own hidden pain and they
  • 00:18:50.517 --> 00:18:53.420
  • Don't know that they're hurting all these people around them.
  • 00:18:53.420 --> 00:18:56.356
  • So what do you do?
  • 00:18:56.356 --> 00:18:58.192
  • Well, when i have a hard time forgiving a crazymaker, and i
  • 00:18:58.192 --> 00:19:00.761
  • Think we all struggle with this sometimes.
  • 00:19:00.761 --> 00:19:02.496
  • We all struggle with forgiving.
  • 00:19:02.496 --> 00:19:04.431
  • When i have a hard time, i remember what a hard time i gave
  • 00:19:04.431 --> 00:19:07.367
  • God in forgiving me and not accepting his forgiveness.
  • 00:19:07.367 --> 00:19:11.838
  • And i remember the great gift of his forgiveness.
  • 00:19:11.838 --> 00:19:14.908
  • I remember a verse like the next one in your outline.
  • 00:19:14.908 --> 00:19:17.077
  • Colossians 3:13 says, "you must make allowance for each other's
  • 00:19:17.077 --> 00:19:21.114
  • Faults and forgive the person who offends you.
  • 00:19:21.114 --> 00:19:24.785
  • Remember, the lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
  • 00:19:24.785 --> 00:19:29.022
  • Basically it means, cut people some slack.
  • 00:19:29.022 --> 00:19:31.758
  • You want people to cut you some slack, you cut them some slack.
  • 00:19:31.758 --> 00:19:34.795
  • Jesus said, "blessed are the merciful, for they will
  • 00:19:34.795 --> 00:19:37.030
  • Receive mercy."
  • 00:19:37.030 --> 00:19:38.365
  • I want god's blessing in my life, in your life.
  • 00:19:38.365 --> 00:19:40.267
  • And one of the ways that you receive that is by being
  • 00:19:40.267 --> 00:19:42.536
  • Merciful, and it also keeps you from being torn up
  • 00:19:42.536 --> 00:19:44.938
  • By resentment.
  • 00:19:44.938 --> 00:19:46.273
  • So you don't wait for an apology to forgive them, number two.
  • 00:19:46.273 --> 00:19:49.009
  • And then number three, and as rick said earlier, it gets
  • 00:19:49.009 --> 00:19:52.079
  • Harder and harder as we go along.
  • 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:54.081
  • Number three is refuse to gossip about them.
  • 00:19:54.081 --> 00:19:58.151
  • This one's tough with crazymakers.
  • 00:19:58.151 --> 00:20:00.220
  • You refuse to gossip about them, because--let's just admit it--
  • 00:20:00.220 --> 00:20:04.691
  • When there's some crazymaker in your life, and they've done the
  • 00:20:04.691 --> 00:20:07.127
  • Craziest thing and they've done it again, it is almost
  • 00:20:07.127 --> 00:20:09.730
  • Impossible not to get in the car, pull out the cell phone,
  • 00:20:09.730 --> 00:20:12.299
  • Immediately call somebody,
  • 00:20:12.299 --> 00:20:13.834
  • "you won't believe what they just did.
  • 00:20:13.834 --> 00:20:15.168
  • I got to tell you."
  • 00:20:15.168 --> 00:20:16.503
  • In fact, you're texting as they're doing it.
  • 00:20:16.503 --> 00:20:17.838
  • "let me, they're doing it right now.
  • 00:20:17.838 --> 00:20:19.172
  • They're doing this to me."
  • 00:20:19.172 --> 00:20:20.507
  • That's what we do with crazymakers.
  • 00:20:20.507 --> 00:20:21.842
  • We want to tell somebody else.
  • 00:20:21.842 --> 00:20:23.176
  • We want affirmation from somebody else.
  • 00:20:23.176 --> 00:20:24.511
  • It's the most difficult thing in the world to not let go of it,
  • 00:20:24.511 --> 00:20:27.447
  • To not say--or to let go of it.
  • 00:20:27.447 --> 00:20:30.017
  • And instead we want to say, "you won't believe what he just did.
  • 00:20:30.017 --> 00:20:32.886
  • You won't believe what she just did."
  • 00:20:32.886 --> 00:20:34.488
  • It may feel good, it does feel good.
  • 00:20:34.488 --> 00:20:37.624
  • Let's admit it when we say that, but it's unloving.
  • 00:20:37.624 --> 00:20:41.895
  • And the bible says love even your enemies.
  • 00:20:41.895 --> 00:20:44.464
  • Proverbs 17:9 says, "disregarding other people's
  • 00:20:44.464 --> 00:20:48.068
  • Faults preserves love; but gossiping about them separates
  • 00:20:48.068 --> 00:20:52.072
  • Close friends."
  • 00:20:52.072 --> 00:20:54.207
  • And what's gossip?
  • 00:20:54.207 --> 00:20:55.742
  • One definition is gossip is sharing information with
  • 00:20:55.742 --> 00:20:58.245
  • Somebody who's not a part of the solution or a part of
  • 00:20:58.245 --> 00:21:00.447
  • The problem.
  • 00:21:00.447 --> 00:21:02.215
  • They don't have nothing to do with it, but you bring them into
  • 00:21:02.215 --> 00:21:04.685
  • It so you can feel better about yourself, let's just be honest
  • 00:21:04.685 --> 00:21:07.354
  • About it.
  • 00:21:07.354 --> 00:21:08.689
  • Gossip in its essence is a form of retaliation.
  • 00:21:08.689 --> 00:21:10.624
  • You're getting back at them without talking about them or
  • 00:21:10.624 --> 00:21:13.560
  • Talking to them, but instead you're talking about them behind
  • 00:21:13.560 --> 00:21:15.862
  • Their back, and it is incredibly destructive.
  • 00:21:15.862 --> 00:21:19.966
  • Gossip is incredibly destructive to churches, is incredibly
  • 00:21:19.966 --> 00:21:23.337
  • Destructive to families, it's incredibly destructive to
  • 00:21:23.337 --> 00:21:26.139
  • Businesses, it's destructive to your life.
  • 00:21:26.139 --> 00:21:28.041
  • It tears you up.
  • 00:21:28.041 --> 00:21:29.376
  • It separates the closest of friends.
  • 00:21:29.376 --> 00:21:32.512
  • 1 peter 3:9 says, "do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do
  • 00:21:32.512 --> 00:21:38.652
  • Not insult to repay an insult.
  • 00:21:38.652 --> 00:21:41.588
  • But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were
  • 00:21:41.588 --> 00:21:44.791
  • Called to do this so that you might receive a blessing."
  • 00:21:44.791 --> 00:21:48.795
  • That's the point.
  • 00:21:48.795 --> 00:21:50.130
  • You can gossip and miss out on god's blessing, but instead if
  • 00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:52.666
  • You choose not to, look what happens.
  • 00:21:52.666 --> 00:21:54.868
  • By choosing not to gossip, not only do you get the conversation
  • 00:21:54.868 --> 00:21:57.604
  • In the right positive way in your life, but you receive god's
  • 00:21:57.604 --> 00:22:00.173
  • Blessing in your life.
  • 00:22:00.173 --> 00:22:01.508
  • I want you to receive god's blessing in your life.
  • 00:22:01.508 --> 00:22:03.343
  • And one of the ways we do that is by saying no to gossip.
  • 00:22:03.343 --> 00:22:09.616
  • Pastor rick: step number four is i refused to play
  • 00:22:09.616 --> 00:22:14.020
  • Their game.
  • 00:22:14.020 --> 00:22:16.490
  • After i've done these other things, i refuse to play
  • 00:22:16.490 --> 00:22:20.360
  • Their game.
  • 00:22:20.360 --> 00:22:22.062
  • You see, crazymakers love to argue and they love to debate,
  • 00:22:22.062 --> 00:22:28.435
  • Because they love to get your attention.
  • 00:22:28.435 --> 00:22:31.405
  • Now, if you fall for this trap, you're going to start thinking,
  • 00:22:31.405 --> 00:22:34.808
  • "if i could just clearly, logically explain to them what
  • 00:22:34.808 --> 00:22:40.580
  • They're doing, then the light would come on in their mind and
  • 00:22:40.580 --> 00:22:44.618
  • They would realize how self destructive and how
  • 00:22:44.618 --> 00:22:48.488
  • Inappropriate their behavior, or what they're saying is.
  • 00:22:48.488 --> 00:22:51.358
  • And if i could just reason with them, then they will say, 'well,
  • 00:22:51.358 --> 00:22:55.128
  • Yes, thank you for helping me see that.
  • 00:22:55.128 --> 00:22:58.899
  • Thank you so very, very much.'"
  • 00:22:58.899 --> 00:23:01.768
  • But here's the point: crazymakers don't come to their
  • 00:23:01.768 --> 00:23:05.138
  • Position through reason, so you can't reason them out of it.
  • 00:23:05.138 --> 00:23:09.576
  • It doesn't work.
  • 00:23:09.576 --> 00:23:11.511
  • You can't talk people out of a behavior they didn't talk
  • 00:23:11.511 --> 00:23:15.615
  • Themselves into.
  • 00:23:15.615 --> 00:23:17.484
  • They got into that behavior because of an emotion, not
  • 00:23:17.484 --> 00:23:21.288
  • Because of logic.
  • 00:23:21.288 --> 00:23:23.190
  • It's reasoned, motivated reasoning.
  • 00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:27.527
  • Motivated reasoning means i come up with a reason for doing
  • 00:23:27.527 --> 00:23:30.363
  • Something because i feel this way, and so i need a reason to
  • 00:23:30.363 --> 00:23:33.266
  • Do it.
  • 00:23:33.266 --> 00:23:34.601
  • The motivation actually comes from the feeling, not from
  • 00:23:34.601 --> 00:23:37.070
  • The reasoning.
  • 00:23:37.070 --> 00:23:38.772
  • And what i've discovered is, is that people are going to either
  • 00:23:38.772 --> 00:23:43.210
  • Like you or not like you.
  • 00:23:43.210 --> 00:23:44.744
  • And if they don't like you, you can't make them like you.
  • 00:23:44.744 --> 00:23:48.949
  • And if they want to think a certain way, they're going to
  • 00:23:48.949 --> 00:23:51.351
  • Think that way.
  • 00:23:51.351 --> 00:23:53.053
  • And all of the logic in the world isn't going to change
  • 00:23:53.053 --> 00:23:55.489
  • Their mind.
  • 00:23:55.489 --> 00:23:56.857
  • In fact, if somebody has a motivated reasoning for
  • 00:23:56.857 --> 00:23:59.726
  • Something, then what's going to happen is when you show them how
  • 00:23:59.726 --> 00:24:03.597
  • They're wrong, they just get mad at you.
  • 00:24:03.597 --> 00:24:07.300
  • Show them the facts, "you got the facts wrong," you get them
  • 00:24:07.300 --> 00:24:09.936
  • The facts, you think that's going to change them?
  • 00:24:09.936 --> 00:24:11.304
  • Of course it's not going to change them.
  • 00:24:11.304 --> 00:24:12.639
  • It wasn't the facts that caused them to make that
  • 00:24:12.639 --> 00:24:14.341
  • Decision anyway.
  • 00:24:14.341 --> 00:24:15.675
  • They were making the decision based on emotion.
  • 00:24:15.675 --> 00:24:18.178
  • But you refused to play their game.
  • 00:24:18.178 --> 00:24:21.581
  • Now, there are lots of examples of this in the bible that shows
  • 00:24:21.581 --> 00:24:24.751
  • Us how not to do this, but the master of it was jesus
  • 00:24:24.751 --> 00:24:28.722
  • Christ himself.
  • 00:24:28.722 --> 00:24:30.423
  • Jesus did not play games with people.
  • 00:24:30.423 --> 00:24:33.159
  • There were crazymakers in jesus's life, they were called
  • 00:24:33.159 --> 00:24:36.630
  • The pharisees.
  • 00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:37.964
  • They were the religious authorities of those days, and
  • 00:24:37.964 --> 00:24:40.634
  • They hated jesus.
  • 00:24:40.634 --> 00:24:42.869
  • And they had motivated reasoning, so they're always
  • 00:24:42.869 --> 00:24:45.105
  • Trying to trap him.
  • 00:24:45.105 --> 00:24:46.439
  • They're always trying to get him to say the wrong thing.
  • 00:24:46.439 --> 00:24:49.643
  • They're always trying to get him to make a mistake.
  • 00:24:49.643 --> 00:24:51.978
  • They're always questioning, always probing, always playing
  • 00:24:51.978 --> 00:24:54.681
  • Games with jesus, mind games.
  • 00:24:54.681 --> 00:24:56.616
  • Jesus simply wouldn't play their games.
  • 00:24:56.616 --> 00:24:59.553
  • Let me give you an example.
  • 00:24:59.553 --> 00:25:01.054
  • Here on your outline in matthew chapter 22, verse 18 and 19.
  • 00:25:01.054 --> 00:25:06.593
  • "the pharisees plotted a way to trap jesus into saying something
  • 00:25:06.593 --> 00:25:11.998
  • Damaging," sounds like some reporters i know.
  • 00:25:11.998 --> 00:25:16.870
  • "jesus knew they were up to no good.
  • 00:25:16.870 --> 00:25:20.440
  • And he said, 'why are you playing these games with me?
  • 00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:24.811
  • Why are you trying to trap me?'"
  • 00:25:24.811 --> 00:25:28.148
  • See, jesus wouldn't even fall for it.
  • 00:25:28.148 --> 00:25:29.716
  • He would not be pulled into their crazy-making games.
  • 00:25:29.716 --> 00:25:33.887
  • He wouldn't be drawn into an argument that he knew was going
  • 00:25:33.887 --> 00:25:36.289
  • To go nowhere.
  • 00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:38.091
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:25:38.091 --> 00:25:42.896
  • Pastor rick: every year, christians from all over the
  • 00:25:44.798 --> 00:25:47.534
  • World remember the death and resurrection of jesus christ by
  • 00:25:47.534 --> 00:25:50.904
  • Traveling to jerusalem, where they walked the path that jesus
  • 00:25:50.904 --> 00:25:54.608
  • Took on the way to the cross.
  • 00:25:54.608 --> 00:25:56.109
  • That path is called the "via dolorosa."
  • 00:25:56.109 --> 00:25:58.812
  • Now, since you may not be able to ever travel to jerusalem, i
  • 00:25:58.812 --> 00:26:02.015
  • Want to suggest a way for you to celebrate and reflect on and
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  • Pray about what jesus did for you on the cross.
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