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Rick Warren | Rick Warren - Keeping The Crazymakers From Making You Crazy! (Part 1) | April 6, 2025
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- ♪♪♪
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- Pastor rick warren: for the past eight weeks, we have been
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- Dealing with how to deal with difficult people, and i've
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- Called the series "you make me crazy."
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- And what i want to do this week as we conclude it and as i
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- Introduce a new series that we're gonna begin next week, i
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- Want us to summarize kind of what we've learned about what
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- God says about unhealthy and healthy relationships.
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- And i'm going to take you through some steps that kind of
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- Summarize what to do with the crazymakers in your life, and
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- I'm calling this message "keeping the crazymakers from
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- Making you crazy!"
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- And before we look at those steps, i want to just pause and
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- Review, what is a crazymaker?
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- Now, i could give you a list of 100 different kinds of people,
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- But let me give you six of the most common.
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- So pull out a pencil and write these down, and as i write them
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- Down, don't look at them, okay?
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- Don't embarrass them.
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- But these are different people that we have that we have to
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- Work with, we have to live with, we have in our neighborhoods, in
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- Our communities, soccer games and church everywhere.
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- And how do we deal with these different kinds of people?
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- Let's look at them.
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- Number one is what i call demanding,
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- Demanding crazymakers.
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- These are the little dictators of life, the little napoleons,
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- The little saddams.
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- They're bossy, they're pushy, they're controlling in every
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- Area; they're intimidating.
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- They dominate every conversation.
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- They turn every conversation into a into a power struggle.
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- They make unrealistic demands on your life, on your time, on your
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- Schedule, and they just push, push, push.
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- They are demanding and it drives you crazy, demanding
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- Crazymakers, the little dictators.
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- The second kind is what i call disapproving, disapproving
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- Crazymakers, and these are what i call the nitpickers, and they
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- Are picky, picky, picky, picky, picky.
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- They are highly critical.
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- Your best is never good enough.
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- They always want more.
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- They tend to be negative, they tend to be judgmental, they are
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- Unpleasable, they're perfectionist, and they love to
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- Point out your mistakes.
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- And the disapproving crazymakers, no matter what you
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- Do, it's just not good enough and that drives you crazy,
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- The nitpickers.
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- The third kind of crazymakers are what i call deafening,
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- Deafening crazymakers 'cause they're loud.
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- They are loud mouths.
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- I call these people the megaphones of life.
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- And they're loud and they like to talk, and they like to talk
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- At a loud--often 120 decibels.
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- If you get a megaphone on the phone, you're not gonna get off
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- For at least 15 minutes, because they just keep talking and
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- Talking, and they talk you into surrender, to finally just
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- Go--you hold up the white flag, "i give up, okay, i give up.
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- You've talked me into the ground."
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- And they absolutely love to argue.
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- These are the megaphones.
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- Number four, the destructive crazymakers, the
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- Destructive crazymakers.
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- And these are the people who have uncontrolled anger, and i
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- Call them the volcanoes.
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- And we've all had volcanoes in our lives, it's very easy to
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- See them.
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- You know--you never know when they're going to erupt, but when
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- They erupt, you know it.
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- They've got a temper like mount vesuvius, or like mount saint
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- Helens, and they blow up and they explode, and when they do,
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- It leaves scorching hot lava burning everything in the path.
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- If you have a volcano in your life, you tend to walk on
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- Eggshells part of the time.
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- The family can live in fear of when the next blowup's going
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- To be.
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- There's a lot of tension and the burn casualties are quite high;
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- The destructive crazymakers, the volcanoes.
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- Numbers five, i call these people the discontented,
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- Discontented crazymakers.
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- Discontented crazymakers get their feelings hurt very,
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- Very easily.
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- They're very touchy, they're very thin-skinned, and they
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- Whine a lot; i call them the crybabies.
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- And we all know crybabies, they have a daily pity party.
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- They invite themselves and they like to moan and to mourn and
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- The "poor me."
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- And they're chronic complainers and they've got a martyr
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- Complex, and they get their attention by whining.
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- And when they whine, they kind of get that nasally sound of
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- Whining all the time, and it just grates on you like your
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- Fingernails on a blackboard.
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- These are the cry babies, the discontented crazymakers.
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- They are never happy.
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- And then number six, a sixth kind, a common crazymaker of
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- What i call demeaning, demeaning crazymakers.
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- And these people are the smart mouths.
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- And the smart mouths are the ones who are always running off
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- Of the mouth, and they're rude and they're insulting, and they
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- Use caustic language and maybe they cuss.
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- But more than just cussing and complaining and caustic
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- Language, they're bubble bursters: they like to bust your
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- Bubble, they like to tear your dream down, they love to deflate
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- You, they love to tear you down.
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- They get particular joy in telling you how you don't
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- Measure up.
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- And they can be disrespectful, and they can be petty, and they
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- Can be mean, and these are the smart mouths.
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- And by the way, people who are rude all the time, they're rude
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- Because they have enormous insecurities.
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- The more insecure a person is, the more rude they tend to be.
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- Now what i want to do this weekend is i want to take you
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- Through a summary of verses of what the bible says about how do
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- You deal with these kind of people in your life, and i'm
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- Going to give you six steps.
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- I've discovered in my own life that each step tends to get a
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- Little bit harder than the one before.
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- The first one's hard, but the second one's even harder, and
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- The third one's even harder, but this is the way you deal with
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- Difficult people.
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- This is the way you counter the crazymakers in your life,
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- According to the bible.
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- All right, let's get right into it.
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- Number one, the first thing you need to do with a crazymaker is
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- This: refuse to be offended.
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- I refuse to be offended, and what i mean by that is i don't
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- Take it personally, no matter what they say, no matter what
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- They do, no matter how outrageous their behavior is, no
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- Matter what they insult me with, or how they act or react or the
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- Way they look with their body language.
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- When people are rude, they are revealing themselves, not you.
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- They're telling you what's in them, not what's in you.
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- When people are mean, when people are controlling, they're
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- Not saying anything about you.
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- It doesn't say anything about you.
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- It says about who they are.
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- It tells you what their problem is.
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- So don't be offended by it, it's not about you.
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- They're just a crazymaker.
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- Now the reality is, there's a lot in life you could get
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- Offended by.
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- In fact, there's a lot of things in life you ought to be
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- Offended by.
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- I get offended by a lot of things.
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- I'm offended by injustice in the world, when people go to bed
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- Hungry at night and a lot of us have so much.
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- I'm offended by racism.
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- I'm offended by babies whose lives are taken before they're
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- Even born.
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- I'm offended by exploitation of sex and women who are exploited
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- For sex trafficking and things like--there are a lot of things
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- You ought to be offended by.
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- But when it comes to personal relationships, god says, get
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- Over it.
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- As much as you can, try not to be offended by other people.
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- In other words, if you wanted to, you could have such a thin
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- Skin, everything everybody does offends you and you're gonna be
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- Unhappy most of your life.
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- So you've got to learn that emotional and spiritual maturity
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- Is largely determined by how you treat those who mistreat you.
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- Let me say that again: how mature you are emotionally and
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- Spiritually is largely revealed in how i respond, how i treat
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- Those who mistreat me, and how i treat those who
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- Misunderstand me.
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- Do i do tit for tat?
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- Do i get even?
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- If they hit me, i hit them back?
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- If they hurt me, i hurt them back?
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- If they insult me, i insult them back?
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- They get angry at me, i get angry back?
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- Then i'm no better than they are.
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- Emotional and spiritual maturity is determined by my reaction to
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- The people who try to hurt me, try to con--you know, the
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- Demanding, the demeaning, the confusing, all of those people,
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- The destructive and disapproving people in my life.
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- How do i handle those kind of people?
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- One of the keys to happiness in life, it's not the only one, but
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- One of the keys to happiness in life is you need to develop a
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- Thicker skin and just not be offended by so many things.
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- Now, what you need to pray is say, "god, give me a tender
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- Heart and a tough hide.
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- Give me a tender heart and a tough--" usually we get
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- The opposite.
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- We get thin-skinned and tough-hearted.
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- God said, "no, no, no, you should always have a
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- Tender heart."
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- But you need to get a little bit thicker skin so not everything
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- Just sets you off, not everything offends you; you
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- Don't always get upset no matter what people say.
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- When somebody looks cross eyed at you or, you know, on the
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- Freeway, somebody flips you off, it doesn't bother you.
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- You don't get upset about it.
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- Somebody is rude to you, a clerk or something like that, a clerk
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- Who's a jerk, and they, you know, they're just
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- Having a tough day, you need to get a little bit thicker skin.
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- Now, how do i do that?
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- How do i keep from taking personal offense at the
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- Crazymakers in my life?
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- Look at this first verse, proverbs 12:16.
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- Let's read it aloud together.
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- "when a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known.
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- But wise people will ignore an insult."
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- Circle the word "wise."
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- If you're wise, you ignore an insult.
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- If you respond to an insult with an insult, you're a fool.
- 00:11:03.084 --> 00:11:07.188
- Foolish people give out what they get.
- 00:11:07.188 --> 00:11:11.025
- He says that's not good, that's not wise, that's dumb, "when a
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- Fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known."
- 00:11:15.730 --> 00:11:18.332
- In other words, somebody hurts me, i hurt them right back.
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- They make a tacky statement to me and i make a tacky statement
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- Back, "when a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known.
- 00:11:23.571 --> 00:11:27.007
- But wise people ignore an insult."
- 00:11:27.007 --> 00:11:30.911
- ♪♪♪
- 00:11:30.911 --> 00:11:37.518
- Pastor rick: every year, christians from all over the
- 00:11:37.585 --> 00:11:40.221
- World remember the death and resurrection of jesus christ by
- 00:11:40.221 --> 00:11:43.591
- Traveling to jerusalem, where they walk the path that jesus
- 00:11:43.591 --> 00:11:47.294
- Took on the way to the cross.
- 00:11:47.294 --> 00:11:48.796
- That path is called the "via dolorosa."
- 00:11:48.796 --> 00:11:51.499
- Now, since you may not be able to ever travel to jerusalem, i
- 00:11:51.499 --> 00:11:54.702
- Want to suggest a way for you to celebrate and reflect on and
- 00:11:54.702 --> 00:11:58.672
- Pray about what jesus did for you on the cross.
- 00:11:58.672 --> 00:12:02.143
- So i've created a brand new one of a kind resource, "journey
- 00:12:02.143 --> 00:12:06.113
- With jesus," a deluxe, hardcover gift edition book that's
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- Illustrated with really beautiful, high quality, glossy
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- Photos of mosaic tile artwork that reflect each of the stops
- 00:12:14.822 --> 00:12:19.794
- That jesus made on his journey to the cross.
- 00:12:19.794 --> 00:12:23.664
- You're not ever going to forget this gift.
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- It's a great book to keep and to study over and over again, and
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- Then make a great gift for your family and your friends too.
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- Male announcer: this one of a
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- 00:12:48.122 --> 00:12:49.757
- Pastor rick: now we've talked about this three different times
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- In this series, that when you're dealing with people who are
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- Offensive, when you're dealing with people who are irritating,
- 00:12:55.629 --> 00:12:58.432
- People who are crazymakers in your life, you need to look past
- 00:12:58.432 --> 00:13:02.069
- The behavior, to the pain, because everything we do is
- 00:13:02.069 --> 00:13:07.408
- Motivated by something.
- 00:13:07.408 --> 00:13:09.343
- And when people are hurting others, it's because they're
- 00:13:09.343 --> 00:13:11.812
- Hurting on the inside; hurt people, hurt people.
- 00:13:11.812 --> 00:13:15.249
- And they've got a fear, they've got an insecurity, they've got a
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- Painful past, they've got a pressure in the current that
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- Maybe you don't know about.
- 00:13:22.857 --> 00:13:24.892
- And one of the ways you can learn to not be offended by
- 00:13:24.892 --> 00:13:27.361
- Other people is to not look at their behavior, and to just look
- 00:13:27.361 --> 00:13:31.432
- Past and go, "i wonder what causes them to be that way, to
- 00:13:31.432 --> 00:13:34.869
- Be that short with me.
- 00:13:34.869 --> 00:13:36.203
- Did they get out of bed on the wrong side?
- 00:13:36.203 --> 00:13:38.272
- They have a fight with their husband or their wife today?
- 00:13:38.272 --> 00:13:42.142
- Are they going bankrupt, or what's cause, what's
- 00:13:42.142 --> 00:13:44.745
- The pressure?
- 00:13:44.745 --> 00:13:46.080
- What's the thorn in their foot that's causing them to be mean
- 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:49.016
- To everybody else around them?
- 00:13:49.016 --> 00:13:51.285
- And you look past the behavior and look at the pain and try
- 00:13:51.285 --> 00:13:58.425
- To understand.
- 00:13:58.425 --> 00:13:59.994
- Now, the more you understand somebody's background, the more
- 00:13:59.994 --> 00:14:04.632
- Grace you're going to show them.
- 00:14:04.632 --> 00:14:06.934
- The people who you find it most difficult to deal with, the
- 00:14:06.934 --> 00:14:10.604
- People who irritate you the most, are people at the office
- 00:14:10.604 --> 00:14:13.574
- Who are obnoxious and you know nothing about their background,
- 00:14:13.574 --> 00:14:18.512
- So you don't count them any slack.
- 00:14:18.512 --> 00:14:20.514
- You don't know that maybe they were molested.
- 00:14:20.514 --> 00:14:23.083
- You don't know that maybe they were orphaned, or you don't know
- 00:14:23.083 --> 00:14:25.486
- That maybe they've gone through three marriages and the husband
- 00:14:25.486 --> 00:14:28.122
- Walked out on them, you know, three times.
- 00:14:28.122 --> 00:14:30.691
- You don't know their story and so you're not cutting 'em any
- 00:14:30.691 --> 00:14:33.994
- Slack, you're not showing 'em any grace.
- 00:14:33.994 --> 00:14:35.863
- Here's what the bible says.
- 00:14:35.863 --> 00:14:38.032
- Proverbs 19:11, "a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his
- 00:14:38.032 --> 00:14:45.072
- Glory to overlook an offense."
- 00:14:45.072 --> 00:14:48.842
- You're going to get offended, why?
- 00:14:48.842 --> 00:14:50.444
- Because your wisdom gives you patience.
- 00:14:50.444 --> 00:14:52.579
- When you understand somebody's background, you understand the
- 00:14:52.579 --> 00:14:55.649
- Current stress, it's easier to show grace, that gives you
- 00:14:55.649 --> 00:14:59.019
- Patience and then you overlook the offense.
- 00:14:59.019 --> 00:15:02.423
- What i'm talking about here is real love.
- 00:15:02.423 --> 00:15:06.193
- In fact, the bible says, refusing to be offended by other
- 00:15:06.193 --> 00:15:10.664
- People is actually an act of mature love.
- 00:15:10.664 --> 00:15:14.735
- It shows you how much love you've got in your heart.
- 00:15:14.735 --> 00:15:17.871
- The more love you have in your heart, the harder it is to
- 00:15:17.871 --> 00:15:20.975
- Offend you on a personal basis.
- 00:15:20.975 --> 00:15:23.944
- The less love, the more insecure you feel, the easier it is to
- 00:15:23.944 --> 00:15:27.314
- Offend you.
- 00:15:27.314 --> 00:15:29.216
- Now, the bible says in proverbs 10:12, "love overlooks the
- 00:15:29.216 --> 00:15:33.520
- Wrongs that others do.
- 00:15:33.520 --> 00:15:36.323
- Love overlooks the wrongs that others do."
- 00:15:36.323 --> 00:15:39.126
- The more filled i am with love, the less i'm going to be upset
- 00:15:39.126 --> 00:15:43.130
- With you when you are demanding or demeaning or disapproving
- 00:15:43.130 --> 00:15:48.202
- Or whatever.
- 00:15:48.202 --> 00:15:49.536
- So this is the first step, i must choose to refuse.
- 00:15:49.536 --> 00:15:54.074
- I choose to refuse to be offended, and i don't take
- 00:15:54.074 --> 00:15:58.545
- It personal.
- 00:15:58.545 --> 00:16:00.014
- I don't take it personal.
- 00:16:00.014 --> 00:16:01.348
- Pastor tom's going to come and talk about the next two steps.
- 00:16:01.348 --> 00:16:06.787
- Pastor tom: number two, you don't wait for an apology before
- 00:16:06.787 --> 00:16:10.524
- You forgive them.
- 00:16:10.524 --> 00:16:12.126
- You don't wait for an apology to forgive them.
- 00:16:12.126 --> 00:16:15.529
- I think many of us, we've got some crazymaker in our life who
- 00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:18.399
- Has done some crazy hurtful thing to us, or maybe even more
- 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.202
- Importantly, to somebody that we love.
- 00:16:22.202 --> 00:16:24.505
- And in our minds we think, "well, i know the christian
- 00:16:24.505 --> 00:16:26.607
- Thing to do is to forgive, and so i will, i will forgive them
- 00:16:26.607 --> 00:16:30.444
- As soon as they give me an apology, the right kind of
- 00:16:30.444 --> 00:16:33.147
- Apology, then i will forgive them."
- 00:16:33.147 --> 00:16:35.649
- The problem with that is you're still holding on to the hurt.
- 00:16:35.649 --> 00:16:39.119
- The problem with that is, in fact, the truth of it is, they
- 00:16:39.119 --> 00:16:41.755
- May never ask you for forgiveness.
- 00:16:41.755 --> 00:16:44.324
- They may never say, "i'm sorry," because they're a crazymaker.
- 00:16:44.324 --> 00:16:47.694
- They don't get it, and because they don't get it, they may not
- 00:16:47.694 --> 00:16:50.064
- Even realize what they've done and so you end up stewing over
- 00:16:50.064 --> 00:16:53.600
- Something, holding resentment over something that they've long
- 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.737
- Ago forgotten, and it's eating you up inside.
- 00:16:56.737 --> 00:17:00.707
- Never hold on to a hurt, because resentment tears you up.
- 00:17:00.707 --> 00:17:04.111
- Resentment, they don't even know about it.
- 00:17:04.111 --> 00:17:05.679
- It's not hurting them, it's hurting you.
- 00:17:05.679 --> 00:17:07.915
- Resentment is like you drinking poison, hoping it's gonna
- 00:17:07.915 --> 00:17:11.452
- Kill them.
- 00:17:11.452 --> 00:17:12.786
- It doesn't work.
- 00:17:12.786 --> 00:17:14.154
- It never will work.
- 00:17:14.154 --> 00:17:15.489
- So you just say, "even before anything else happens, i'm going
- 00:17:15.489 --> 00:17:17.825
- To decide right now.
- 00:17:17.825 --> 00:17:20.094
- I'm not going to wait for this to happen or that to happen.
- 00:17:20.094 --> 00:17:22.429
- I'm going to decide right here, right now, maybe even tonight,
- 00:17:22.429 --> 00:17:25.632
- I'm going to forgive them.
- 00:17:25.632 --> 00:17:27.234
- I'm going to forgive them.
- 00:17:27.301 --> 00:17:30.037
- Question, is it smart to ignore god's directions?
- 00:17:30.037 --> 00:17:34.608
- No, it's a dumb thing to do, because god gave us directions
- 00:17:34.608 --> 00:17:38.245
- Knowing who we are.
- 00:17:38.245 --> 00:17:39.613
- He made us, he created us, and god gave us directions loving
- 00:17:39.613 --> 00:17:42.182
- Who we are.
- 00:17:42.182 --> 00:17:43.517
- He wants to make of our lives the best that he can.
- 00:17:43.517 --> 00:17:45.119
- So if i ignore his directions, it's always a dumb thing to do.
- 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:48.455
- It's always an illogical, irrational thing to do.
- 00:17:48.455 --> 00:17:50.991
- It always creates self-inflicted pain.
- 00:17:50.991 --> 00:17:52.893
- That person who hurts you, they are facing that because of their
- 00:17:52.893 --> 00:17:55.896
- Sin against you.
- 00:17:55.896 --> 00:17:57.264
- So why should you double that up by you ignoring god's directions
- 00:17:57.264 --> 00:18:00.434
- About forgiving, about letting it go?
- 00:18:00.434 --> 00:18:02.903
- You put it into god's hands.
- 00:18:02.903 --> 00:18:04.271
- Forgiving doesn't mean you forget that it ever happened,
- 00:18:04.271 --> 00:18:06.273
- You're still going to remember.
- 00:18:06.273 --> 00:18:07.608
- It means you put it in his hands and you stop holding on to the
- 00:18:07.608 --> 00:18:09.610
- Resentment, and you also realize that some of those hurts that
- 00:18:09.610 --> 00:18:13.447
- You and i are holding resentments over, there are many
- 00:18:13.447 --> 00:18:16.183
- Times when people act foolishly--i've done this
- 00:18:16.183 --> 00:18:18.285
- Towards others and you have to if you're honest about it--we
- 00:18:18.285 --> 00:18:20.654
- Act foolishly towards other people and we don't even realize
- 00:18:20.654 --> 00:18:22.990
- What we've done.
- 00:18:22.990 --> 00:18:24.324
- So you're holding the resentment and they have no idea they're
- 00:18:24.324 --> 00:18:26.994
- Even supposed to ask for forgiveness.
- 00:18:26.994 --> 00:18:29.863
- Jesus said this even in the most extreme of circumstances.
- 00:18:29.863 --> 00:18:33.300
- Look at this next verse in the outline, luke 23:34, he's
- 00:18:33.300 --> 00:18:35.802
- Hanging on the cross, and jesus says, "father, forgive them, for
- 00:18:35.802 --> 00:18:39.873
- They don't know what they're doing.
- 00:18:39.873 --> 00:18:42.276
- They don't know what they're doing."
- 00:18:42.276 --> 00:18:44.211
- Not everyone who is a crazymaker in your life, who bugs you or
- 00:18:44.211 --> 00:18:48.315
- Even hurts you, realizes what they're doing.
- 00:18:48.315 --> 00:18:50.517
- Oftentimes they're responding to their own hidden pain and they
- 00:18:50.517 --> 00:18:53.420
- Don't know that they're hurting all these people around them.
- 00:18:53.420 --> 00:18:56.356
- So what do you do?
- 00:18:56.356 --> 00:18:58.192
- Well, when i have a hard time forgiving a crazymaker, and i
- 00:18:58.192 --> 00:19:00.761
- Think we all struggle with this sometimes.
- 00:19:00.761 --> 00:19:02.496
- We all struggle with forgiving.
- 00:19:02.496 --> 00:19:04.431
- When i have a hard time, i remember what a hard time i gave
- 00:19:04.431 --> 00:19:07.367
- God in forgiving me and not accepting his forgiveness.
- 00:19:07.367 --> 00:19:11.838
- And i remember the great gift of his forgiveness.
- 00:19:11.838 --> 00:19:14.908
- I remember a verse like the next one in your outline.
- 00:19:14.908 --> 00:19:17.077
- Colossians 3:13 says, "you must make allowance for each other's
- 00:19:17.077 --> 00:19:21.114
- Faults and forgive the person who offends you.
- 00:19:21.114 --> 00:19:24.785
- Remember, the lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
- 00:19:24.785 --> 00:19:29.022
- Basically it means, cut people some slack.
- 00:19:29.022 --> 00:19:31.758
- You want people to cut you some slack, you cut them some slack.
- 00:19:31.758 --> 00:19:34.795
- Jesus said, "blessed are the merciful, for they will
- 00:19:34.795 --> 00:19:37.030
- Receive mercy."
- 00:19:37.030 --> 00:19:38.365
- I want god's blessing in my life, in your life.
- 00:19:38.365 --> 00:19:40.267
- And one of the ways that you receive that is by being
- 00:19:40.267 --> 00:19:42.536
- Merciful, and it also keeps you from being torn up
- 00:19:42.536 --> 00:19:44.938
- By resentment.
- 00:19:44.938 --> 00:19:46.273
- So you don't wait for an apology to forgive them, number two.
- 00:19:46.273 --> 00:19:49.009
- And then number three, and as rick said earlier, it gets
- 00:19:49.009 --> 00:19:52.079
- Harder and harder as we go along.
- 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:54.081
- Number three is refuse to gossip about them.
- 00:19:54.081 --> 00:19:58.151
- This one's tough with crazymakers.
- 00:19:58.151 --> 00:20:00.220
- You refuse to gossip about them, because--let's just admit it--
- 00:20:00.220 --> 00:20:04.691
- When there's some crazymaker in your life, and they've done the
- 00:20:04.691 --> 00:20:07.127
- Craziest thing and they've done it again, it is almost
- 00:20:07.127 --> 00:20:09.730
- Impossible not to get in the car, pull out the cell phone,
- 00:20:09.730 --> 00:20:12.299
- Immediately call somebody,
- 00:20:12.299 --> 00:20:13.834
- "you won't believe what they just did.
- 00:20:13.834 --> 00:20:15.168
- I got to tell you."
- 00:20:15.168 --> 00:20:16.503
- In fact, you're texting as they're doing it.
- 00:20:16.503 --> 00:20:17.838
- "let me, they're doing it right now.
- 00:20:17.838 --> 00:20:19.172
- They're doing this to me."
- 00:20:19.172 --> 00:20:20.507
- That's what we do with crazymakers.
- 00:20:20.507 --> 00:20:21.842
- We want to tell somebody else.
- 00:20:21.842 --> 00:20:23.176
- We want affirmation from somebody else.
- 00:20:23.176 --> 00:20:24.511
- It's the most difficult thing in the world to not let go of it,
- 00:20:24.511 --> 00:20:27.447
- To not say--or to let go of it.
- 00:20:27.447 --> 00:20:30.017
- And instead we want to say, "you won't believe what he just did.
- 00:20:30.017 --> 00:20:32.886
- You won't believe what she just did."
- 00:20:32.886 --> 00:20:34.488
- It may feel good, it does feel good.
- 00:20:34.488 --> 00:20:37.624
- Let's admit it when we say that, but it's unloving.
- 00:20:37.624 --> 00:20:41.895
- And the bible says love even your enemies.
- 00:20:41.895 --> 00:20:44.464
- Proverbs 17:9 says, "disregarding other people's
- 00:20:44.464 --> 00:20:48.068
- Faults preserves love; but gossiping about them separates
- 00:20:48.068 --> 00:20:52.072
- Close friends."
- 00:20:52.072 --> 00:20:54.207
- And what's gossip?
- 00:20:54.207 --> 00:20:55.742
- One definition is gossip is sharing information with
- 00:20:55.742 --> 00:20:58.245
- Somebody who's not a part of the solution or a part of
- 00:20:58.245 --> 00:21:00.447
- The problem.
- 00:21:00.447 --> 00:21:02.215
- They don't have nothing to do with it, but you bring them into
- 00:21:02.215 --> 00:21:04.685
- It so you can feel better about yourself, let's just be honest
- 00:21:04.685 --> 00:21:07.354
- About it.
- 00:21:07.354 --> 00:21:08.689
- Gossip in its essence is a form of retaliation.
- 00:21:08.689 --> 00:21:10.624
- You're getting back at them without talking about them or
- 00:21:10.624 --> 00:21:13.560
- Talking to them, but instead you're talking about them behind
- 00:21:13.560 --> 00:21:15.862
- Their back, and it is incredibly destructive.
- 00:21:15.862 --> 00:21:19.966
- Gossip is incredibly destructive to churches, is incredibly
- 00:21:19.966 --> 00:21:23.337
- Destructive to families, it's incredibly destructive to
- 00:21:23.337 --> 00:21:26.139
- Businesses, it's destructive to your life.
- 00:21:26.139 --> 00:21:28.041
- It tears you up.
- 00:21:28.041 --> 00:21:29.376
- It separates the closest of friends.
- 00:21:29.376 --> 00:21:32.512
- 1 peter 3:9 says, "do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do
- 00:21:32.512 --> 00:21:38.652
- Not insult to repay an insult.
- 00:21:38.652 --> 00:21:41.588
- But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were
- 00:21:41.588 --> 00:21:44.791
- Called to do this so that you might receive a blessing."
- 00:21:44.791 --> 00:21:48.795
- That's the point.
- 00:21:48.795 --> 00:21:50.130
- You can gossip and miss out on god's blessing, but instead if
- 00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:52.666
- You choose not to, look what happens.
- 00:21:52.666 --> 00:21:54.868
- By choosing not to gossip, not only do you get the conversation
- 00:21:54.868 --> 00:21:57.604
- In the right positive way in your life, but you receive god's
- 00:21:57.604 --> 00:22:00.173
- Blessing in your life.
- 00:22:00.173 --> 00:22:01.508
- I want you to receive god's blessing in your life.
- 00:22:01.508 --> 00:22:03.343
- And one of the ways we do that is by saying no to gossip.
- 00:22:03.343 --> 00:22:09.616
- Pastor rick: step number four is i refused to play
- 00:22:09.616 --> 00:22:14.020
- Their game.
- 00:22:14.020 --> 00:22:16.490
- After i've done these other things, i refuse to play
- 00:22:16.490 --> 00:22:20.360
- Their game.
- 00:22:20.360 --> 00:22:22.062
- You see, crazymakers love to argue and they love to debate,
- 00:22:22.062 --> 00:22:28.435
- Because they love to get your attention.
- 00:22:28.435 --> 00:22:31.405
- Now, if you fall for this trap, you're going to start thinking,
- 00:22:31.405 --> 00:22:34.808
- "if i could just clearly, logically explain to them what
- 00:22:34.808 --> 00:22:40.580
- They're doing, then the light would come on in their mind and
- 00:22:40.580 --> 00:22:44.618
- They would realize how self destructive and how
- 00:22:44.618 --> 00:22:48.488
- Inappropriate their behavior, or what they're saying is.
- 00:22:48.488 --> 00:22:51.358
- And if i could just reason with them, then they will say, 'well,
- 00:22:51.358 --> 00:22:55.128
- Yes, thank you for helping me see that.
- 00:22:55.128 --> 00:22:58.899
- Thank you so very, very much.'"
- 00:22:58.899 --> 00:23:01.768
- But here's the point: crazymakers don't come to their
- 00:23:01.768 --> 00:23:05.138
- Position through reason, so you can't reason them out of it.
- 00:23:05.138 --> 00:23:09.576
- It doesn't work.
- 00:23:09.576 --> 00:23:11.511
- You can't talk people out of a behavior they didn't talk
- 00:23:11.511 --> 00:23:15.615
- Themselves into.
- 00:23:15.615 --> 00:23:17.484
- They got into that behavior because of an emotion, not
- 00:23:17.484 --> 00:23:21.288
- Because of logic.
- 00:23:21.288 --> 00:23:23.190
- It's reasoned, motivated reasoning.
- 00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:27.527
- Motivated reasoning means i come up with a reason for doing
- 00:23:27.527 --> 00:23:30.363
- Something because i feel this way, and so i need a reason to
- 00:23:30.363 --> 00:23:33.266
- Do it.
- 00:23:33.266 --> 00:23:34.601
- The motivation actually comes from the feeling, not from
- 00:23:34.601 --> 00:23:37.070
- The reasoning.
- 00:23:37.070 --> 00:23:38.772
- And what i've discovered is, is that people are going to either
- 00:23:38.772 --> 00:23:43.210
- Like you or not like you.
- 00:23:43.210 --> 00:23:44.744
- And if they don't like you, you can't make them like you.
- 00:23:44.744 --> 00:23:48.949
- And if they want to think a certain way, they're going to
- 00:23:48.949 --> 00:23:51.351
- Think that way.
- 00:23:51.351 --> 00:23:53.053
- And all of the logic in the world isn't going to change
- 00:23:53.053 --> 00:23:55.489
- Their mind.
- 00:23:55.489 --> 00:23:56.857
- In fact, if somebody has a motivated reasoning for
- 00:23:56.857 --> 00:23:59.726
- Something, then what's going to happen is when you show them how
- 00:23:59.726 --> 00:24:03.597
- They're wrong, they just get mad at you.
- 00:24:03.597 --> 00:24:07.300
- Show them the facts, "you got the facts wrong," you get them
- 00:24:07.300 --> 00:24:09.936
- The facts, you think that's going to change them?
- 00:24:09.936 --> 00:24:11.304
- Of course it's not going to change them.
- 00:24:11.304 --> 00:24:12.639
- It wasn't the facts that caused them to make that
- 00:24:12.639 --> 00:24:14.341
- Decision anyway.
- 00:24:14.341 --> 00:24:15.675
- They were making the decision based on emotion.
- 00:24:15.675 --> 00:24:18.178
- But you refused to play their game.
- 00:24:18.178 --> 00:24:21.581
- Now, there are lots of examples of this in the bible that shows
- 00:24:21.581 --> 00:24:24.751
- Us how not to do this, but the master of it was jesus
- 00:24:24.751 --> 00:24:28.722
- Christ himself.
- 00:24:28.722 --> 00:24:30.423
- Jesus did not play games with people.
- 00:24:30.423 --> 00:24:33.159
- There were crazymakers in jesus's life, they were called
- 00:24:33.159 --> 00:24:36.630
- The pharisees.
- 00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:37.964
- They were the religious authorities of those days, and
- 00:24:37.964 --> 00:24:40.634
- They hated jesus.
- 00:24:40.634 --> 00:24:42.869
- And they had motivated reasoning, so they're always
- 00:24:42.869 --> 00:24:45.105
- Trying to trap him.
- 00:24:45.105 --> 00:24:46.439
- They're always trying to get him to say the wrong thing.
- 00:24:46.439 --> 00:24:49.643
- They're always trying to get him to make a mistake.
- 00:24:49.643 --> 00:24:51.978
- They're always questioning, always probing, always playing
- 00:24:51.978 --> 00:24:54.681
- Games with jesus, mind games.
- 00:24:54.681 --> 00:24:56.616
- Jesus simply wouldn't play their games.
- 00:24:56.616 --> 00:24:59.553
- Let me give you an example.
- 00:24:59.553 --> 00:25:01.054
- Here on your outline in matthew chapter 22, verse 18 and 19.
- 00:25:01.054 --> 00:25:06.593
- "the pharisees plotted a way to trap jesus into saying something
- 00:25:06.593 --> 00:25:11.998
- Damaging," sounds like some reporters i know.
- 00:25:11.998 --> 00:25:16.870
- "jesus knew they were up to no good.
- 00:25:16.870 --> 00:25:20.440
- And he said, 'why are you playing these games with me?
- 00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:24.811
- Why are you trying to trap me?'"
- 00:25:24.811 --> 00:25:28.148
- See, jesus wouldn't even fall for it.
- 00:25:28.148 --> 00:25:29.716
- He would not be pulled into their crazy-making games.
- 00:25:29.716 --> 00:25:33.887
- He wouldn't be drawn into an argument that he knew was going
- 00:25:33.887 --> 00:25:36.289
- To go nowhere.
- 00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:38.091
- ♪♪♪
- 00:25:38.091 --> 00:25:42.896
- Pastor rick: every year, christians from all over the
- 00:25:44.798 --> 00:25:47.534
- World remember the death and resurrection of jesus christ by
- 00:25:47.534 --> 00:25:50.904
- Traveling to jerusalem, where they walked the path that jesus
- 00:25:50.904 --> 00:25:54.608
- Took on the way to the cross.
- 00:25:54.608 --> 00:25:56.109
- That path is called the "via dolorosa."
- 00:25:56.109 --> 00:25:58.812
- Now, since you may not be able to ever travel to jerusalem, i
- 00:25:58.812 --> 00:26:02.015
- Want to suggest a way for you to celebrate and reflect on and
- 00:26:02.015 --> 00:26:06.019
- Pray about what jesus did for you on the cross.
- 00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:09.456
- So i've created a brand new, one of a kind resource "journey with
- 00:26:09.456 --> 00:26:13.660
- Jesus," a deluxe, hardcover, gift edition book that's
- 00:26:13.660 --> 00:26:18.598
- Illustrated with really beautiful, high quality, glossy
- 00:26:18.598 --> 00:26:22.135
- Photos of mosaic tile artwork that reflect each of the stops
- 00:26:22.135 --> 00:26:27.073
- That jesus made on his journey to the cross.
- 00:26:27.073 --> 00:26:30.977
- You're not ever going to forget this gift.
- 00:26:30.977 --> 00:26:32.512
- It's a great book to keep and to study over and over again, and
- 00:26:32.512 --> 00:26:36.783
- Then make a great gift for your family and your friends too.
- 00:26:36.783 --> 00:26:41.021
- Male announcer: this one of a
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- Kind resource is only available
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- Through "daily hope."
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- Quantities are limited, so be
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- Sure to get yours today.
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- Just call 844-467-3900 or visit
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- Dailyhopetv.com to get
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- Yours today.
- 00:26:55.435 --> 00:26:56.803
- ♪♪♪
- 00:26:58.605 --> 00:26:58.605