Steven Furtick

Steven Furtick - How To Save Your Husband (Part 1)

February 10, 2025 | S25:E40

Discover how to experience sex, marriage, and relationships God's way.

#StevenFurtick #Relationships #Marriage #Submission #LoveofGod #Forgiveness #Grace #Religion #Jesus #Parable #Sin #inActive #Divorce #Mercy #Husband #Wife #Dating

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Steven Furtick | Steven Furtick - How To Save Your Husband (Part 1) | February 10, 2025

An encouraging message
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From pastor steven furtick
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Of elevation church.
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If you're looking
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To strengthen your faith
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And shift your perspective,
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Stay tuned.
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♪ ♪
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>> i've entitled this message
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>> i've entitled this message "how to save your husband"
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"how to save your husband" somewhat playfully,
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Somewhat playfully, but i want to speak
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But i want to speak very seriously about these
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Very seriously about these subjects in the few moments
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Subjects in the few moments we have remaining.
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We have remaining. how to save your husband.
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How to save your husband. how did the two become one,
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How did the two become one, and then the one become two?
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And then the one become two? i was talking to a friend
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I was talking to a friend who was going through a divorce
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Who was going through a divorce a couple of years ago.
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A couple of years ago. he said, "i'm so ashamed.
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He said, "i'm so ashamed. i never thought i'd be having
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I never thought i'd be having this conversation.
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This conversation. i counsel other people
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I counsel other people who went through this,
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Who went through this, and i always, in my heart,
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And i always, in my heart, wondered how it could come
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Wondered how it could come to this.
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To this. i never thought i'd be on
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I never thought i'd be on this side of the conversation."
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This side of the conversation." and it is baffling
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And it is baffling to think about how we go from
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To think about how we go from in a relationship,
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In a relationship, having the kind of passion
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Having the kind of passion that would cause two people
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That would cause two people to want to merge
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To want to merge their identities, and often
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Their identities, and often that same relationship,
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That same relationship, that same couple will end up
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That same couple will end up only speaking through attorneys.
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Only speaking through attorneys. how does that happen?
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How does that happen? you know, it says
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You know, it says it's a profound mystery
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It's a profound mystery how two become one.
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How two become one. i think it's an equally
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I think it's an equally profound mystery how the one
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Profound mystery how the one can become two.
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Can become two. how can you go from using
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How can you go from using your entire data plan
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Your entire data plan and all your minutes
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And all your minutes just to hear
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Just to hear the other person breathe?
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The other person breathe? you're not even saying anything
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You're not even saying anything during the dating phase.
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During the dating phase. i just want to hear your breath
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I just want to hear your breath and we just sit with one another
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And we just sit with one another and wake up at all kinds of
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And wake up at all kinds of hours during the night
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Hours during the night to call one another,
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To call one another, if necessary, during that stage
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If necessary, during that stage of the relationship
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Of the relationship to we can't even sit down
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To we can't even sit down in a room and work out
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In a room and work out the division of our assets
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The division of our assets together or decide on
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Together or decide on the future of our kids.
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The future of our kids. how does this happen?
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How does this happen? now, i want to say a few things
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Now, i want to say a few things before i give you these points,
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Before i give you these points, and we won't be here long.
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And we won't be here long. i mean, i'm going to be
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I mean, i'm going to be respectful of your time,
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Respectful of your time, but i need to be careful
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But i need to be careful because i take my job seriously,
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Because i take my job seriously, and i don't want to say stuff up
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And i don't want to say stuff up here and send you
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Here and send you in the wrong direction where
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In the wrong direction where something that i say would cause
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Something that i say would cause you more pain or confusion.
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You more pain or confusion. so when i preach on this thing
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So when i preach on this thing right here that i'm going to
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Right here that i'm going to get into today,
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Get into today, and it's going to be old-school.
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And it's going to be old-school. it's going to be old-school
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It's going to be old-school because i think this is
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Because i think this is a passage about
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A passage about unconditional commitment.
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Unconditional commitment. but when i say it, i want you --
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But when i say it, i want you -- three little caveats.
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Three little caveats. one, i'm talking about marriage,
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One, i'm talking about marriage, not dating.
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Not dating. because somebody might hear this
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Because somebody might hear this and be like, "oh, so i need
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And be like, "oh, so i need to go get back with
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To go get back with timmy again."
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Timmy again." no.
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No. no.
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No. see, in marriage,
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See, in marriage, it's till death do us part.
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It's till death do us part. in marriage.
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In marriage. but in dating,
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But in dating, you have another option,
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You have another option, and that option is
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And that option is called scroll, select, delete.
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Called scroll, select, delete. and so if you're not married
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And so if you're not married to them yet and they're showing
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To them yet and they're showing signs of not being
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Signs of not being the right one,
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The right one, because i believe over half
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Because i believe over half the work is done in a marriage
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The work is done in a marriage in the selection process,
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In the selection process, just making sure that
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Just making sure that you're both on the right page.
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You're both on the right page. but if timmy has an attitude
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But if timmy has an attitude with his mom,
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With his mom, if timmy doesn't have
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If timmy doesn't have a good work ethic
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A good work ethic and timmy doesn't have
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And timmy doesn't have a relationship with god,
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A relationship with god, here's your move:
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Here's your move: scroll, select, delete.
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Scroll, select, delete. let's practice it together,
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Let's practice it together, come on, for the sake of
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Come on, for the sake of somebody next to you
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Somebody next to you who's dating a loser
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Who's dating a loser and they might need
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And they might need some encouragement
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Some encouragement just to break it off.
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Just to break it off. let's do it.
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Let's do it. come on, scroll, select, delete.
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Come on, scroll, select, delete. again, scroll, select, delete.
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Again, scroll, select, delete. watch this, iphone,
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Watch this, iphone, scroll, select, delete.
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Scroll, select, delete. to the side, watch it,
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To the side, watch it, scroll, select, delete.
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Scroll, select, delete. that's all you need to do.
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That's all you need to do. some of y'all need to walk out
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Some of y'all need to walk out right now, put the message
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Right now, put the message into practice.
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Into practice. you're welcome.
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You're welcome. you got the word
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You got the word you needed today.
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You needed today. you didn't even need a verse.
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Because after marriage
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Because after marriage you don't have that option,
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You don't have that option, if the bible is right.
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If the bible is right. if culture is right,
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If culture is right, you can do whatever you want.
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You can do whatever you want. but if we're trying to do this
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But if we're trying to do this god's way, which i think
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God's way, which i think would be a good idea,
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Would be a good idea, the one who
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The one who created relationship.
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Created relationship. so i'm not talking about
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So i'm not talking about dating here, okay?
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Dating here, okay? i'm talking about marriage.
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I'm talking about marriage. the second thing is,
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The second thing is, i'm not talking about your past.
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I'm not talking about your past. i'm talking about your present.
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I'm talking about your present. and i think a good phrase
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And i think a good phrase for us would be:
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For us would be: "from this day forward."
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"from this day forward." there's not one of us
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There's not one of us in the room who hasn't been
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In the room who hasn't been touched by divorce.
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And so when you say the word
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And so when you say the word or you talk about separation,
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Or you talk about separation, immediately certain people
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Immediately certain people shut down the factory
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Shut down the factory and they won't hear another word
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And they won't hear another word i have to say today
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I have to say today because you think i'm here
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Because you think i'm here to judge you or condemn you.
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I need you to understand that
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I need you to understand that the lord put a word in me
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The lord put a word in me that i believe could save
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That i believe could save somebody that's sitting
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Somebody that's sitting around you or maybe save you
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Around you or maybe save you next time around from
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Next time around from experiencing some of the pain
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Experiencing some of the pain that you experienced,
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That you experienced, and maybe instead of
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And maybe instead of getting defensive
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Getting defensive and thinking that this message
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And thinking that this message is about your mistakes,
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Is about your mistakes, you could believe with me
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You could believe with me while i'm preaching
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While i'm preaching for a miracle in somebody else's
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For a miracle in somebody else's life so they won't
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Life so they won't have to endure the kind of pain
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Have to endure the kind of pain that this kind
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That this kind of separation creates.
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Of separation creates. my dad was divorced twice
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My dad was divorced twice before he married my mom.
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Before he married my mom. i wouldn't even be here if
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I wouldn't even be here if he hadn't gone through those
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He hadn't gone through those marriages and ended up
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Marriages and ended up with my mom.
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With my mom. so i believe god works in
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So i believe god works in all things.
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All things. i wouldn't even be here.
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I wouldn't even be here. i don't know how god
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I don't know how god takes mistakes and turns them
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Takes mistakes and turns them into miracles, but he does.
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Into miracles, but he does. so we want to focus on present,
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So we want to focus on present, not past.
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Not past. and then i'll just say this:
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And then i'll just say this: we want to remember that
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We want to remember that we're not encouraging people
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We're not encouraging people to stay in situations
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To stay in situations that are abusive.
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That are abusive. okay?
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Okay? don't call on jesus
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Don't call on jesus if he's hitting you.
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If he's hitting you. call on the police officer
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Call on the police officer nearest you and let's get
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Nearest you and let's get you protected.
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You protected. that said, i think there are
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That said, i think there are four things -- we'll do them
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Four things -- we'll do them as quickly as we can --
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As quickly as we can -- that happen that cause passion
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That happen that cause passion to go out.
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To go out. how does this happen:
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How does this happen: two become one, one become two?
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Two become one, one become two? how does something that promises
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How does something that promises to bring so much intimacy
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To bring so much intimacy end in isolation?
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End in isolation? how does something that promises
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How does something that promises to bring so much pleasure end up
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To bring so much pleasure end up producing so much pain?
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Producing so much pain? a few observations
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A few observations from the passage.
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From the passage. one, celebration
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One, celebration becomes frustration.
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Becomes frustration. celebration becomes frustration.
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Celebration becomes frustration. when you start in a relationship
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When you start in a relationship with a person, especially
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With a person, especially a romantic relationship,
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A romantic relationship, you celebrate everything
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You celebrate everything about them.
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About them. and you celebrate everything
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And you celebrate everything about them that's different
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About them that's different than you, and it's attractive.
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Than you, and it's attractive. that's where the saying came
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That's where the saying came from, "opposites attract."
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From, "opposites attract." how many know that in marriage
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How many know that in marriage sometimes the same opposites
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Sometimes the same opposites that attract, then the opposites
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That attract, then the opposites start to attack?
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Start to attack? amen, amen.
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Amen, amen. because what you celebrated
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Because what you celebrated in one stage ends up being
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In one stage ends up being the very thing that
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The very thing that frustrates you in
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Frustrates you in the lifelong stage.
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The lifelong stage. "oh, he's just so funny.
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"oh, he's just so funny. i just like him
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I just like him because he's funny.
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Because he's funny. he's just like hilarious.
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He's just like hilarious. he's always funny."
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He's always funny." three years in:
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Three years in: "why can't you ever be serious
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"why can't you ever be serious about anything?"
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About anything?" celebration, frustration.
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Celebration, frustration. the whole wedding ceremony
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The whole wedding ceremony is a celebration.
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Is a celebration. you force your friends to buy
00:07:18.957 --> 00:07:19.691
You force your friends to buy all the same-colored clothes
00:07:19.758 --> 00:07:20.659
All the same-colored clothes and come support you
00:07:20.725 --> 00:07:21.693
And come support you and stand around you.
00:07:21.760 --> 00:07:24.162
And stand around you. there's a big celebration,
00:07:24.229 --> 00:07:25.030
There's a big celebration, and people go along with it
00:07:25.096 --> 00:07:25.764
And people go along with it and they do it.
00:07:25.831 --> 00:07:26.531
And they do it. they come out for you,
00:07:26.598 --> 00:07:27.666
They come out for you, and they do the whole thing.
00:07:27.732 --> 00:07:30.202
And they do the whole thing. people get up
00:07:30.268 --> 00:07:31.536
People get up and say nice things
00:07:31.603 --> 00:07:32.938
And say nice things and all of this.
00:07:33.004 --> 00:07:33.705
And all of this. celebration.
00:07:33.772 --> 00:07:34.406
Celebration. i should have put
00:07:34.473 --> 00:07:35.240
I should have put a different stage in there.
00:07:35.307 --> 00:07:35.907
A different stage in there. this isn't exactly true.
00:07:35.974 --> 00:07:36.775
This isn't exactly true. it goes not just celebration
00:07:36.842 --> 00:07:38.109
It goes not just celebration to frustration.
00:07:38.176 --> 00:07:38.877
To frustration. it goes celebration,
00:07:38.944 --> 00:07:39.644
It goes celebration, then for a little while
00:07:39.711 --> 00:07:40.412
Then for a little while it's toleration.
00:07:40.479 --> 00:07:43.615
It's toleration. but if you tolerate what god
00:07:43.682 --> 00:07:45.283
But if you tolerate what god has called you to celebrate,
00:07:45.350 --> 00:07:46.518
Has called you to celebrate, it will eventually frustrate
00:07:46.585 --> 00:07:47.419
It will eventually frustrate the relationship.
00:07:47.486 --> 00:07:51.356
The relationship. celebration becomes frustration.
00:07:51.423 --> 00:07:54.359
Celebration becomes frustration. here's where it's going to get
00:07:54.426 --> 00:07:55.193
Here's where it's going to get a little tense in the room.
00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:59.631
A little tense in the room. passion dies out
00:07:59.698 --> 00:08:00.165
Passion dies out when "we" becomes "me."
00:08:00.232 --> 00:08:03.034
When "we" becomes "me." hello.
00:08:03.101 --> 00:08:05.470
Hello. hello.
00:08:05.537 --> 00:08:07.772
Hello. the two become one.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:10.876
The two become one. if you're married,
00:08:10.942 --> 00:08:11.877
If you're married, you are not a "me" anymore.
00:08:11.943 --> 00:08:14.312
You are not a "me" anymore. and if you're not ready
00:08:14.379 --> 00:08:15.146
And if you're not ready to not be a "me" anymore --
00:08:15.213 --> 00:08:16.081
To not be a "me" anymore -- "i just feel like
00:08:16.147 --> 00:08:16.915
"i just feel like i lost myself."
00:08:16.982 --> 00:08:18.350
I lost myself." yeah, i hear you.
00:08:18.416 --> 00:08:20.151
Yeah, i hear you. you kind of did.
00:08:20.218 --> 00:08:21.953
You kind of did. you kind of decided to do that.
00:08:22.020 --> 00:08:25.423
You kind of decided to do that. the two become one.
00:08:25.490 --> 00:08:27.592
The two become one. i taught our staff --
00:08:27.659 --> 00:08:29.494
I taught our staff -- i do a summer teaching
00:08:29.561 --> 00:08:31.830
I do a summer teaching every summer for our staff.
00:08:31.897 --> 00:08:33.832
Every summer for our staff. this year our theme
00:08:33.899 --> 00:08:34.533
This year our theme was stretch marks.
00:08:34.599 --> 00:08:36.535
Was stretch marks. it was cool.
00:08:36.601 --> 00:08:40.038
It was cool. come on, touch somebody
00:08:40.105 --> 00:08:40.805
Come on, touch somebody next to you, say,
00:08:40.872 --> 00:08:41.606
Next to you, say, "i got stretch marks."
00:08:41.673 --> 00:08:44.476
"i got stretch marks." the year before we -- oh.
00:08:44.543 --> 00:08:49.247
The year before we -- oh. the year before we did,
00:08:49.314 --> 00:08:50.515
The year before we did, i called it "the art of me-we,"
00:08:50.582 --> 00:08:51.750
I called it "the art of me-we," the art of me-we.
00:08:51.816 --> 00:08:52.784
The art of me-we. i said churches get in trouble
00:08:52.851 --> 00:08:53.852
I said churches get in trouble when we get flipped upside down
00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:54.786
When we get flipped upside down and "we" becomes "me."
00:08:54.853 --> 00:08:57.923
And "we" becomes "me." flip it upside down,
00:08:57.989 --> 00:08:59.591
Flip it upside down, the "w," we and me.
00:08:59.658 --> 00:09:02.227
The "w," we and me. marriages get in trouble
00:09:02.294 --> 00:09:04.963
Marriages get in trouble when "we" becomes "me."
00:09:05.030 --> 00:09:07.699
When "we" becomes "me." and we live in
00:09:07.766 --> 00:09:08.500
And we live in the most self-centered --
00:09:08.567 --> 00:09:09.801
The most self-centered -- i don't think it was always this
00:09:09.868 --> 00:09:11.469
I don't think it was always this self-centered
00:09:11.536 --> 00:09:12.137
Self-centered as it is right now.
00:09:12.203 --> 00:09:12.837
As it is right now. i don't.
00:09:12.904 --> 00:09:13.972
I'm a young man, but just like
00:09:14.072 --> 00:09:15.173
I'm a young man, but just like from what i could remember
00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:16.141
From what i could remember of my grandparents' relationship
00:09:16.207 --> 00:09:18.510
Of my grandparents' relationship and different people
00:09:18.577 --> 00:09:19.511
And different people that i've seen who are
00:09:19.578 --> 00:09:20.245
That i've seen who are from a different generation,
00:09:20.312 --> 00:09:21.479
From a different generation, they understood something
00:09:21.546 --> 00:09:22.414
They understood something about when you get married,
00:09:22.480 --> 00:09:24.382
About when you get married, you don't get to use
00:09:24.449 --> 00:09:25.817
You don't get to use first-person singular anymore
00:09:25.884 --> 00:09:27.118
First-person singular anymore about your life decisions.
00:09:27.185 --> 00:09:29.654
You can scratch it out
00:09:29.754 --> 00:09:30.388
You can scratch it out of your vocabulary book.
00:09:30.455 --> 00:09:32.958
Of your vocabulary book. you can flip all the ms
00:09:33.024 --> 00:09:34.292
You can flip all the ms upside now because you're
00:09:34.359 --> 00:09:35.560
Upside now because you're a "we" now.
00:09:35.627 --> 00:09:37.362
A "we" now. and in fact, that's what paul
00:09:37.429 --> 00:09:38.330
And in fact, that's what paul is pointing to in the passage.
00:09:38.396 --> 00:09:39.831
Is pointing to in the passage. he says if you have children,
00:09:39.898 --> 00:09:43.501
He says if you have children, it even becomes more of this,
00:09:43.568 --> 00:09:46.871
It even becomes more of this, like that is
00:09:46.938 --> 00:09:48.073
Like that is the ultimate decision.
00:09:48.139 --> 00:09:50.742
The ultimate decision. and if you're not ready to go
00:09:50.809 --> 00:09:53.011
And if you're not ready to go from "me" to "we"
00:09:53.078 --> 00:09:54.279
From "me" to "we" in every decision, not just,
00:09:54.346 --> 00:09:56.348
In every decision, not just, "well, i want to get married,
00:09:56.414 --> 00:09:57.148
"well, i want to get married, but i still, you know,
00:09:57.215 --> 00:09:58.617
But i still, you know, i got my own life, too."
00:09:58.683 --> 00:10:00.352
I got my own life, too." no, you don't.
00:10:00.418 --> 00:10:03.054
No, you don't. and if that's what you want,
00:10:03.121 --> 00:10:04.189
And if that's what you want, you don't need a marriage.
00:10:04.255 --> 00:10:07.425
You don't need a marriage. you need to just keep going
00:10:07.492 --> 00:10:08.326
You need to just keep going to starbucks and hold hands
00:10:08.393 --> 00:10:09.995
To starbucks and hold hands and have good friends,
00:10:10.061 --> 00:10:11.529
And have good friends, but you don't need
00:10:11.596 --> 00:10:12.163
But you don't need to get married.
00:10:12.230 --> 00:10:14.399
To get married. i'll bring you
00:10:14.466 --> 00:10:15.033
I'll bring you a new testament example.
00:10:15.100 --> 00:10:16.167
A new testament example. i know you're craving
00:10:16.234 --> 00:10:16.801
I know you're craving an example of this.
00:10:16.868 --> 00:10:18.470
An example of this. how about those men who had
00:10:18.536 --> 00:10:19.971
How about those men who had a friend who was paralyzed
00:10:20.038 --> 00:10:21.272
A friend who was paralyzed and they wanted
00:10:21.339 --> 00:10:22.107
And they wanted to get him to jesus?
00:10:22.173 --> 00:10:23.742
To get him to jesus? and they wanted to get him
00:10:23.808 --> 00:10:25.243
And they wanted to get him to jesus because they thought
00:10:25.310 --> 00:10:26.211
To jesus because they thought maybe jesus could make him walk,
00:10:26.277 --> 00:10:27.779
Maybe jesus could make him walk, but when they got to the place,
00:10:27.846 --> 00:10:28.713
But when they got to the place, they carry his mat,
00:10:28.780 --> 00:10:29.547
They carry his mat, who knows how far
00:10:29.614 --> 00:10:30.348
Who knows how far they had to walk, who knows
00:10:30.415 --> 00:10:31.182
They had to walk, who knows how strenuous the journey.
00:10:31.249 --> 00:10:33.118
How strenuous the journey. some of us wouldn't even pick up
00:10:33.184 --> 00:10:34.085
Some of us wouldn't even pick up a friend to church
00:10:34.152 --> 00:10:34.986
A friend to church in a minivan.
00:10:35.053 --> 00:10:43.294
In a minivan. and these men carry
00:10:43.361 --> 00:10:44.896
And these men carry their friend on a mat.
00:10:44.963 --> 00:10:48.533
Their friend on a mat. and then when they get there,
00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:49.601
And then when they get there, they find out that the overflow
00:10:49.668 --> 00:10:51.536
They find out that the overflow is already full.
00:10:51.603 --> 00:10:53.972
Is already full. and so you can watch
00:10:54.039 --> 00:10:54.606
And so you can watch the archive online.
00:10:54.673 --> 00:10:56.007
The archive online. jesus is healing people
00:10:56.074 --> 00:10:57.842
Jesus is healing people in the house,
00:10:57.909 --> 00:10:58.777
In the house, but you can watch it online,
00:10:58.843 --> 00:10:59.577
But you can watch it online, you can download the podcast.
00:10:59.644 --> 00:11:00.211
You can download the podcast. they said, "okay, cool.
00:11:00.278 --> 00:11:02.180
They said, "okay, cool. yeah, we ain't doing that,
00:11:02.247 --> 00:11:03.882
Yeah, we ain't doing that, because we got a friend
00:11:03.948 --> 00:11:05.316
Because we got a friend who we cared enough
00:11:05.383 --> 00:11:06.851
Who we cared enough to carry this far,
00:11:06.918 --> 00:11:08.853
To carry this far, and so we're not going to stop
00:11:08.920 --> 00:11:10.522
And so we're not going to stop at the first closed door."
00:11:10.588 --> 00:11:13.191
At the first closed door." who do you care enough
00:11:13.258 --> 00:11:14.092
Who do you care enough to carry sometimes?
00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:17.762
To carry sometimes? do you care enough about
00:11:17.829 --> 00:11:19.330
Do you care enough about the person that you said
00:11:19.397 --> 00:11:20.598
The person that you said "i do" to,
00:11:20.665 --> 00:11:21.232
"i do" to, to carry them sometimes?
00:11:21.299 --> 00:11:22.834
To carry them sometimes? because sometimes they won't
00:11:22.901 --> 00:11:23.568
Because sometimes they won't have their own ability to walk.
00:11:23.635 --> 00:11:26.738
Have their own ability to walk. sometimes life is going to
00:11:26.805 --> 00:11:28.039
Sometimes life is going to hit them so hard.
00:11:28.106 --> 00:11:30.575
Hit them so hard. their past is going to catch up.
00:11:30.642 --> 00:11:31.776
Their past is going to catch up. do you care enough to carry?
00:11:31.843 --> 00:11:33.511
Do you care enough to carry? they not only carried him
00:11:33.578 --> 00:11:34.979
They not only carried him to the door,
00:11:35.046 --> 00:11:36.214
To the door, but when they were
00:11:36.281 --> 00:11:36.915
But when they were sent away by the ushers,
00:11:36.981 --> 00:11:37.849
Sent away by the ushers, they went up on the roof
00:11:37.916 --> 00:11:40.418
They went up on the roof and they started tearing
00:11:40.485 --> 00:11:41.686
And they started tearing the roof apart.
00:11:41.753 --> 00:11:43.688
The roof apart. and the deacons were throwing
00:11:43.755 --> 00:11:44.756
And the deacons were throwing a fit about it, too.
00:11:44.823 --> 00:11:46.791
A fit about it, too. we did not vote on this.
00:11:46.858 --> 00:11:49.194
We did not vote on this. this was not in the budget,
00:11:49.260 --> 00:11:50.228
This was not in the budget, jesus.
00:11:50.295 --> 00:11:51.196
Jesus. but jesus said,
00:11:51.262 --> 00:11:51.763
But jesus said, "oh, i like their faith."
00:11:51.830 --> 00:11:53.765
"oh, i like their faith." now, here's the interesting
00:11:53.832 --> 00:11:54.399
Now, here's the interesting thing about the passage.
00:11:54.466 --> 00:11:55.033
Thing about the passage. you can look it up
00:11:55.100 --> 00:11:55.734
You can look it up in mark chapter 2
00:11:55.800 --> 00:11:56.434
In mark chapter 2 for your personal bible study
00:11:56.501 --> 00:11:57.202
For your personal bible study and edification this week.
00:11:57.268 --> 00:11:57.902
And edification this week. in mark chapter 2 it says,
00:11:57.969 --> 00:11:58.803
"when jesus saw their faith,
00:11:58.903 --> 00:12:02.640
"when jesus saw their faith, he said to the man,
00:12:02.707 --> 00:12:04.309
He said to the man, 'your sins are forgiven.'"
00:12:04.375 --> 00:12:07.645
No, no, because i expected it
00:12:07.746 --> 00:12:08.713
No, no, because i expected it to say, "when jesus saw
00:12:08.780 --> 00:12:11.316
To say, "when jesus saw the man's faith,
00:12:11.382 --> 00:12:12.984
The man's faith, he said to the man,
00:12:13.051 --> 00:12:13.651
He said to the man, 'your sins are forgiven.'"
00:12:13.718 --> 00:12:15.086
'your sins are forgiven.'" the man might not even have
00:12:15.153 --> 00:12:15.854
The man might not even have his own faith,
00:12:15.920 --> 00:12:16.755
His own faith, but he has some friends
00:12:16.821 --> 00:12:19.290
But he has some friends who said, "until you get
00:12:19.357 --> 00:12:20.859
Who said, "until you get your own faith,
00:12:20.925 --> 00:12:21.659
Your own faith, you can have some of ours,
00:12:21.726 --> 00:12:23.461
You can have some of ours, and we care enough
00:12:23.528 --> 00:12:24.929
And we care enough to carry you,
00:12:24.996 --> 00:12:26.164
And we won't take no
00:12:26.264 --> 00:12:27.332
And we won't take no for an answer."
00:12:27.398 --> 00:12:28.533
For an answer." and paul says marriage
00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:29.801
And paul says marriage has to be like that sometimes.
00:12:29.868 --> 00:12:31.903
Has to be like that sometimes. sometimes i need you
00:12:31.970 --> 00:12:32.670
Sometimes i need you to cover me.
00:12:32.737 --> 00:12:33.705
To cover me. sometimes i need you
00:12:33.772 --> 00:12:34.439
Sometimes i need you to carry me.
00:12:34.506 --> 00:12:35.440
To carry me. sometimes i need you
00:12:35.507 --> 00:12:36.141
Sometimes i need you to put up with me.
00:12:36.207 --> 00:12:37.675
To put up with me. sometimes i need you to give me
00:12:37.742 --> 00:12:38.576
Sometimes i need you to give me a little extra grace.
00:12:38.643 --> 00:12:40.545
Sometimes i need you
00:12:40.645 --> 00:12:41.246
Sometimes i need you to believe the best about me.
00:12:41.312 --> 00:12:42.447
To believe the best about me. sometimes i need you
00:12:42.514 --> 00:12:43.148
Sometimes i need you to be patient with me.
00:12:43.214 --> 00:12:44.682
To be patient with me. sometimes i need you
00:12:44.749 --> 00:12:45.483
Sometimes i need you to speak something over me
00:12:45.550 --> 00:12:47.152
To speak something over me that i don't even believe
00:12:47.218 --> 00:12:48.253
That i don't even believe about myself.
00:12:48.319 --> 00:12:49.420
About myself. oh, god, i'm preaching.
00:12:49.487 --> 00:12:52.991
If it's going to work, "me"
00:12:56.294 --> 00:12:58.997
If it's going to work, "me" has to become "we."
00:12:59.063 --> 00:13:01.199
Has to become "we." tell somebody next to you,
00:13:01.266 --> 00:13:02.634
Tell somebody next to you, "god is saving a marriage
00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:03.635
"god is saving a marriage right now."
00:13:03.701 --> 00:13:06.437
Right now." because some of y'all, y'all
00:13:06.504 --> 00:13:07.405
Because some of y'all, y'all got tired carrying somebody.
00:13:07.472 --> 00:13:10.942
Got tired carrying somebody. carrying, carrying, feel like
00:13:11.009 --> 00:13:12.310
Carrying, carrying, feel like you're just carrying this
00:13:12.377 --> 00:13:13.211
You're just carrying this thing right now.
00:13:13.278 --> 00:13:14.846
Thing right now. just carrying
00:13:14.913 --> 00:13:15.413
Just carrying this thing right now.
00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:17.415
This thing right now. and i will say that you
00:13:17.482 --> 00:13:18.516
And i will say that you can't carry somebody forever,
00:13:18.583 --> 00:13:20.485
Can't carry somebody forever, but i will say that if god
00:13:20.552 --> 00:13:22.587
But i will say that if god had dropped you when you
00:13:22.654 --> 00:13:25.790
Had dropped you when you got hard to carry --
00:13:25.857 --> 00:13:28.259
Got hard to carry -- yes, i'll say more about that.
00:13:28.326 --> 00:13:29.260
Yes, i'll say more about that. i sure will.
00:13:29.327 --> 00:13:29.727
I sure will. absolutely i will.
00:13:29.794 --> 00:13:31.362
Absolutely i will. you got it.
00:13:31.429 --> 00:13:32.297
You got it. no extra charge.
00:13:32.363 --> 00:13:38.503
No extra charge. watch, watch.
00:13:38.570 --> 00:13:40.705
Watch, watch. this is dangerous.
00:13:40.772 --> 00:13:42.640
This is dangerous. passion dies when debtors
00:13:42.707 --> 00:13:43.775
Passion dies when debtors become collectors.
00:13:43.842 --> 00:13:47.212
Become collectors. let's look at it.
00:13:47.278 --> 00:13:48.513
Let's look at it. debtors become collectors.
00:13:48.580 --> 00:13:54.886
Debtors become collectors. one of the most bizarre parables
00:13:54.953 --> 00:13:56.054
One of the most bizarre parables jesus ever told of stories
00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:57.922
Jesus ever told of stories he would tell that had
00:13:57.989 --> 00:13:58.857
He would tell that had a deeper meaning,
00:13:58.923 --> 00:14:00.458
A deeper meaning, one of the most bizarre ones
00:14:00.525 --> 00:14:01.392
One of the most bizarre ones to me is this one.
00:14:01.459 --> 00:14:04.596
To me is this one. in matthew chapter 18, verse 21,
00:14:04.662 --> 00:14:08.800
In matthew chapter 18, verse 21, peter comes up to jesus,
00:14:08.867 --> 00:14:10.001
Peter comes up to jesus, he goes,
00:14:10.068 --> 00:14:11.703
He goes, "lord, you've been preaching
00:14:11.769 --> 00:14:12.737
"lord, you've been preaching about forgiveness
00:14:12.804 --> 00:14:14.172
About forgiveness and grace and mercy.
00:14:14.239 --> 00:14:14.939
And grace and mercy. that's great.
00:14:15.006 --> 00:14:16.241
That's great. how many times shall
00:14:16.307 --> 00:14:16.975
How many times shall i forgive my brother or sister
00:14:17.041 --> 00:14:17.876
I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?"
00:14:17.942 --> 00:14:20.411
Who sins against me?" now, what we're about to read,
00:14:20.478 --> 00:14:21.145
Now, what we're about to read, i think it can come on
00:14:21.212 --> 00:14:21.913
The screen maybe.
00:14:22.013 --> 00:14:22.780
The screen maybe. yeah, there it is.
00:14:22.847 --> 00:14:26.384
Yeah, there it is. and so he says,
00:14:26.451 --> 00:14:28.219
And so he says, "how many times shall i forgive
00:14:28.286 --> 00:14:29.053
"how many times shall i forgive a brother or sister?"
00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:30.288
A brother or sister?" now, what jesus is about to do,
00:14:30.355 --> 00:14:32.123
Now, what jesus is about to do, he's about to take the limit
00:14:32.190 --> 00:14:34.125
He's about to take the limit and the lid off of the amount
00:14:34.192 --> 00:14:35.927
And the lid off of the amount of grace and mercy
00:14:35.994 --> 00:14:37.629
Of grace and mercy that we would offer
00:14:37.695 --> 00:14:38.263
That we would offer to another human being.
00:14:38.329 --> 00:14:39.264
To another human being. because peter's like trying
00:14:39.330 --> 00:14:40.832
Because peter's like trying to show off.
00:14:40.899 --> 00:14:41.532
To show off. he's like, "should i do it
00:14:41.599 --> 00:14:42.567
He's like, "should i do it like up to seven times?
00:14:42.634 --> 00:14:45.436
Like up to seven times? wouldn't that be impressive?"
00:14:45.503 --> 00:14:48.573
Wouldn't that be impressive?" and jesus is like, "nope.
00:14:48.640 --> 00:14:50.675
And jesus is like, "nope. i tell you not 7 times,
00:14:50.742 --> 00:14:51.676
I tell you not 7 times, but 77 times."
00:14:51.743 --> 00:14:53.044
But 77 times." a better translation
00:14:53.111 --> 00:14:53.645
A better translation is "70 times 7."
00:14:53.711 --> 00:14:56.080
Is "70 times 7." and he's not saying,
00:14:56.147 --> 00:14:57.181
"on time 491,
00:14:57.282 --> 00:14:58.816
"on time 491, you can slit their throat."
00:14:58.883 --> 00:14:59.984
You can slit their throat." he's saying 7 is the number
00:15:00.051 --> 00:15:02.754
He's saying 7 is the number of completion and perfection,
00:15:02.820 --> 00:15:03.955
Of completion and perfection, so it's perfection
00:15:04.022 --> 00:15:04.622
So it's perfection times perfection,
00:15:04.689 --> 00:15:05.390
Times perfection, completion times completion."
00:15:05.456 --> 00:15:07.258
Completion times completion." like, as many times as it takes.
00:15:07.325 --> 00:15:08.493
Like, as many times as it takes. doesn't mean you allow people
00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:09.527
Doesn't mean you allow people to continue to abuse you.
00:15:09.594 --> 00:15:10.995
To continue to abuse you. doesn't mean you
00:15:11.062 --> 00:15:11.796
Doesn't mean you don't put distance in
00:15:11.863 --> 00:15:12.597
Don't put distance in relationships sometimes.
00:15:12.664 --> 00:15:13.531
Relationships sometimes. that's not what he's saying.
00:15:13.598 --> 00:15:14.632
That's not what he's saying. he's saying in your heart
00:15:14.699 --> 00:15:15.600
He's saying in your heart you got to forgive them
00:15:15.667 --> 00:15:16.234
You got to forgive them as many time as it takes
00:15:16.301 --> 00:15:17.402
As many time as it takes for you to stay free.
00:15:17.468 --> 00:15:19.537
For you to stay free. watch this.
00:15:19.604 --> 00:15:20.405
Watch this. this is where it all comes
00:15:20.471 --> 00:15:21.139
This is where it all comes together for me.
00:15:21.205 --> 00:15:22.140
Together for me. he said, "all right" --
00:15:22.206 --> 00:15:23.107
He said, "all right" -- and apparently peter
00:15:23.174 --> 00:15:24.309
And apparently peter doesn't quite get it.
00:15:24.375 --> 00:15:25.843
Doesn't quite get it. peter's like, "all right, 77,
00:15:25.910 --> 00:15:26.911
Peter's like, "all right, 77, so on 78, i can choke them out."
00:15:26.978 --> 00:15:29.881
So on 78, i can choke them out." and so jesus is like,
00:15:29.948 --> 00:15:31.950
And so jesus is like, "all right, let me give you
00:15:32.016 --> 00:15:32.984
The story.
00:15:33.084 --> 00:15:34.085
The story. the kingdom of heaven is like
00:15:34.152 --> 00:15:34.852
The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle
00:15:34.919 --> 00:15:35.586
A king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
00:15:35.653 --> 00:15:37.088
Accounts with his servants. next verse, please.
00:15:37.155 --> 00:15:37.822
Next verse, please. as he began the settlement,
00:15:37.889 --> 00:15:39.490
As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 bags
00:15:39.557 --> 00:15:40.925
A man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold, that's a lot,
00:15:40.992 --> 00:15:44.395
Of gold, that's a lot, a man who owed him 10,000 bags
00:15:44.462 --> 00:15:45.530
A man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold was brought to him.
00:15:45.596 --> 00:15:48.099
Of gold was brought to him. since he was not able to pay,
00:15:48.166 --> 00:15:48.967
Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that
00:15:49.033 --> 00:15:49.867
The master ordered that he and his wife and his children
00:15:49.934 --> 00:15:52.036
He and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold
00:15:52.103 --> 00:15:53.371
And all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
00:15:53.438 --> 00:15:55.273
To repay the debt. at this, the servant
00:15:55.340 --> 00:15:55.940
At this, the servant fell on his knees before him.
00:15:56.007 --> 00:15:59.010
Fell on his knees before him. "be patient with me," he begged,
00:15:59.077 --> 00:16:00.345
"be patient with me," he begged, "and i will pay
00:16:00.411 --> 00:16:01.212
"and i will pay back everything."
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:02.347
Back everything." this is a picture of religion,
00:16:02.413 --> 00:16:03.214
This is a picture of religion, by the way,
00:16:03.281 --> 00:16:03.948
By the way, "god, i'll pay you back."
00:16:04.015 --> 00:16:05.650
"god, i'll pay you back." the master does not accept
00:16:05.717 --> 00:16:06.617
His offer.
00:16:06.718 --> 00:16:08.052
His offer. he knows this is impossible.
00:16:08.119 --> 00:16:10.488
He knows this is impossible. "look, you ain't
00:16:10.555 --> 00:16:11.155
"look, you ain't paying me back."
00:16:11.222 --> 00:16:12.390
Paying me back." but, look, he takes pity on him.
00:16:12.457 --> 00:16:16.160
Takes pity on him.
00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:16.894
Takes pity on him. and that's what god did
00:16:16.961 --> 00:16:17.829
For you in christ.
00:16:17.929 --> 00:16:20.164
For you in christ. you didn't, like,
00:16:20.231 --> 00:16:20.965
You didn't, like, pay god back.
00:16:21.032 --> 00:16:21.799
Pay god back. you didn't all of a sudden
00:16:21.866 --> 00:16:22.600
You didn't all of a sudden stack up enough good works
00:16:22.667 --> 00:16:24.736
Stack up enough good works where god's like, "you know,
00:16:24.802 --> 00:16:25.737
Where god's like, "you know, that's bag number 10,000.
00:16:25.803 --> 00:16:27.238
That's bag number 10,000. you're clear now.
00:16:27.305 --> 00:16:27.972
You're clear now. you may go."
00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:30.508
You may go." this is not what happened.
00:16:30.575 --> 00:16:31.509
He took pity on him,
00:16:31.609 --> 00:16:33.778
He took pity on him, canceled the debt,
00:16:33.845 --> 00:16:36.247
Canceled the debt, didn't give them more time,
00:16:36.314 --> 00:16:38.316
Didn't give them more time, just tore
00:16:38.383 --> 00:16:38.983
Just tore the thing up altogether.
00:16:39.050 --> 00:16:41.019
The thing up altogether. he asked him for more time.
00:16:41.085 --> 00:16:42.220
He asked him for more time. he said, "no, how about
00:16:42.286 --> 00:16:42.954
He said, "no, how about we just cancel this?"
00:16:43.021 --> 00:16:46.157
We just cancel this?" and he let him go.
00:16:46.224 --> 00:16:48.693
And he let him go. what does he do with
00:16:48.760 --> 00:16:49.394
What does he do with his newfound freedom?
00:16:49.460 --> 00:16:50.962
His newfound freedom? well, when he went out,
00:16:51.029 --> 00:16:53.364
Well, when he went out, jesus said,
00:16:53.431 --> 00:16:53.998
Jesus said, "about when he went out."
00:16:54.065 --> 00:16:56.067
"about when he went out." you expected him to pay
00:16:56.134 --> 00:16:56.868
You expected him to pay it forward, right?
00:16:56.934 --> 00:16:58.269
It forward, right? because once you have
00:16:58.336 --> 00:17:00.038
A payback mentality,
00:17:00.138 --> 00:17:01.272
A payback mentality, it is very hard to break out of.
00:17:01.339 --> 00:17:04.275
And if your relationship
00:17:04.375 --> 00:17:05.209
And if your relationship with god you think
00:17:05.276 --> 00:17:06.177
With god you think is about payback, you're going
00:17:06.244 --> 00:17:07.011
Is about payback, you're going to have a very difficult time
00:17:07.078 --> 00:17:08.046
To have a very difficult time giving grace because you don't
00:17:08.112 --> 00:17:09.013
Giving grace because you don't know how to receive it.
00:17:09.080 --> 00:17:10.581
Know how to receive it. so he goes out, and he's had
00:17:10.648 --> 00:17:13.051
So he goes out, and he's had his debt forgiven,
00:17:13.117 --> 00:17:13.951
His debt forgiven, but he hasn't had his
00:17:14.018 --> 00:17:14.819
But he hasn't had his mindset changed yet.
00:17:14.886 --> 00:17:16.587
Mindset changed yet. that's where a lot
00:17:16.654 --> 00:17:17.188
That's where a lot of christians are.
00:17:17.255 --> 00:17:18.589
That's where a lot of
00:17:18.689 --> 00:17:19.323
That's where a lot of marriages are.
00:17:19.390 --> 00:17:20.691
Marriages are. you've had your sins forgiven,
00:17:20.758 --> 00:17:22.060
You've had your sins forgiven, but you're still operating
00:17:22.126 --> 00:17:22.994
But you're still operating by a ledger system.
00:17:23.061 --> 00:17:25.129
And so he goes out, he finds
00:17:25.229 --> 00:17:27.065
And so he goes out, he finds one of his fellow servants.
00:17:27.131 --> 00:17:29.100
One of his fellow servants. let's say this represents
00:17:29.167 --> 00:17:29.901
Let's say this represents your husband or wife.
00:17:29.967 --> 00:17:30.968
Your husband or wife. i know this is not commonly
00:17:31.035 --> 00:17:31.803
I know this is not commonly a marriage text, but i think
00:17:31.869 --> 00:17:32.837
A marriage text, but i think it's an excellent one.
00:17:32.904 --> 00:17:35.173
It's an excellent one. who owed him 100 silver coins.
00:17:35.239 --> 00:17:38.376
Who owed him 100 silver coins. this dude got forgiven
00:17:38.443 --> 00:17:41.746
This dude got forgiven for 10,000 bags,
00:17:41.813 --> 00:17:44.215
And now he finds somebody
00:17:44.315 --> 00:17:45.516
And now he finds somebody who owes him chump change --
00:17:45.583 --> 00:17:47.285
Who owes him chump change -- everybody say "chump change."
00:17:47.351 --> 00:17:49.587
Everybody say "chump change." and i don't care how anybody
00:17:49.654 --> 00:17:51.089
And i don't care how anybody has ever offended you
00:17:51.155 --> 00:17:52.356
Has ever offended you in your life,
00:17:52.423 --> 00:17:53.324
In your life, it is chump change
00:17:53.391 --> 00:17:54.592
It is chump change compared to how our sins
00:17:54.659 --> 00:17:55.426
Compared to how our sins offended a holy god.
00:17:55.493 --> 00:17:57.428
Offended a holy god. chump change.
00:17:57.495 --> 00:17:59.330
Chump change. and so look what he does.
00:17:59.397 --> 00:18:01.899
He grabbed him.
00:18:01.999 --> 00:18:04.335
He grabbed him. you expect him to hug this dude.
00:18:04.402 --> 00:18:06.737
You expect him to hug this dude. "hey, man, i just got some
00:18:06.804 --> 00:18:07.572
"hey, man, i just got some good news.
00:18:07.638 --> 00:18:08.372
Good news. i want to give you some
00:18:08.439 --> 00:18:09.140
I want to give you some good news, too.
00:18:09.207 --> 00:18:10.274
Good news, too. i don't have to pay
00:18:10.341 --> 00:18:11.476
I don't have to pay the master anymore,
00:18:11.542 --> 00:18:12.043
The master anymore, so you don't have to pay me.
00:18:12.110 --> 00:18:13.277
So you don't have to pay me. now go and do likewise."
00:18:13.344 --> 00:18:15.146
Now go and do likewise." but he comes at the guy
00:18:15.213 --> 00:18:16.981
But he comes at the guy and he grabs him and he begins
00:18:17.048 --> 00:18:19.283
And he grabs him and he begins to choke him, and he said,
00:18:19.350 --> 00:18:20.418
To choke him, and he said, "pay back what you owe me."
00:18:20.485 --> 00:18:23.187
"pay back what you owe me." he demanded.
00:18:23.254 --> 00:18:27.692
He demanded. from debtor to collector
00:18:27.758 --> 00:18:31.462
In a moment.
00:18:31.562 --> 00:18:33.097
And his fellow servant --
00:18:33.197 --> 00:18:34.232
And his fellow servant -- now, we've seen this scene
00:18:34.298 --> 00:18:34.999
Now, we've seen this scene before -- fell to his knees
00:18:35.066 --> 00:18:36.567
Before -- fell to his knees and begged him, "be patient
00:18:36.634 --> 00:18:39.137
And begged him, "be patient with me and i will pay it back."
00:18:39.203 --> 00:18:41.839
With me and i will pay it back." in other words, he just needs
00:18:41.906 --> 00:18:42.673
In other words, he just needs some of the same grace
00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:43.641
That this guy just got.
00:18:43.741 --> 00:18:46.410
That this guy just got. but the man won't give it.
00:18:46.477 --> 00:18:47.378
But the man won't give it. and i wondered in my mind,
00:18:47.445 --> 00:18:48.513
And i wondered in my mind, studying this text this week,
00:18:48.579 --> 00:18:49.881
Studying this text this week, you know, i've always said
00:18:49.947 --> 00:18:50.915
You know, i've always said that the man had a bad heart.
00:18:50.982 --> 00:18:52.350
That the man had a bad heart. maybe it wasn't that his
00:18:52.416 --> 00:18:53.284
Maybe it wasn't that his heart was bad.
00:18:53.351 --> 00:18:53.951
Heart was bad. just thinking.
00:18:54.018 --> 00:18:56.320
Just thinking. maybe he still intended
00:18:56.387 --> 00:18:57.788
Maybe he still intended to pay the master back,
00:18:57.855 --> 00:18:59.223
To pay the master back, so he sets out to collect
00:18:59.290 --> 00:19:00.424
So he sets out to collect because he still can't believe
00:19:00.491 --> 00:19:01.826
Because he still can't believe that his debt was canceled.
00:19:01.893 --> 00:19:04.395
That his debt was canceled. maybe he's still so stuck
00:19:04.462 --> 00:19:06.264
Maybe he's still so stuck in this mindset,
00:19:06.330 --> 00:19:07.932
In this mindset, this religious mindset,
00:19:07.999 --> 00:19:09.467
This religious mindset, that he's going after this guy
00:19:09.534 --> 00:19:10.868
That he's going after this guy and he refuses --
00:19:10.935 --> 00:19:13.137
And he refuses -- i don't think he really got it.
00:19:13.204 --> 00:19:15.039
I don't think he really got it. if he had really got it,
00:19:15.106 --> 00:19:15.940
If he had really got it, he would have given it.
00:19:16.007 --> 00:19:17.875
He would have given it. don't you think if you
00:19:17.942 --> 00:19:18.543
Don't you think if you really give grace
00:19:18.609 --> 00:19:19.177
Really give grace you'll give grace?
00:19:19.243 --> 00:19:20.077
You'll give grace? once your sins are forgiven,
00:19:20.144 --> 00:19:21.646
Once your sins are forgiven, he who forgives much loves much,
00:19:21.712 --> 00:19:23.347
He who forgives much loves much, don't you think?
00:19:23.414 --> 00:19:25.883
But he refused.
00:19:25.983 --> 00:19:26.584
But he refused. he said, "no, man."
00:19:26.651 --> 00:19:28.352
He said, "no, man." and he had the man
00:19:28.419 --> 00:19:28.986
And he had the man thrown in prison.
00:19:29.053 --> 00:19:30.121
Thrown in prison. we do this to people
00:19:30.188 --> 00:19:30.821
We do this to people all the time.
00:19:30.888 --> 00:19:31.556
All the time. we imprison them,
00:19:31.622 --> 00:19:32.390
We imprison them, awaiting payback.
00:19:32.456 --> 00:19:34.458
Awaiting payback. some of you have imprisoned
00:19:34.525 --> 00:19:35.560
A spouse emotionally
00:19:35.660 --> 00:19:37.728
A spouse emotionally because of something
00:19:37.795 --> 00:19:38.396
Because of something they did 36 months ago.
00:19:38.462 --> 00:19:45.603
They did 36 months ago. some of you have imprisoned
00:19:45.670 --> 00:19:46.704
Some of you have imprisoned a spouse emotionally
00:19:46.771 --> 00:19:47.605
A spouse emotionally because of something somebody
00:19:47.672 --> 00:19:48.539
Because of something somebody else did to you that
00:19:48.606 --> 00:19:49.273
Else did to you that you're taking out on somebody
00:19:49.340 --> 00:19:50.107
You're taking out on somebody who didn't even do it.
00:19:50.174 --> 00:19:56.180
Who didn't even do it. but when the other servant saw
00:19:56.247 --> 00:19:57.415
But when the other servant saw -- and here's the thing
00:19:57.481 --> 00:19:58.149
-- and here's the thing about payback: if you insist
00:19:58.216 --> 00:20:01.953
About payback: if you insist on living by the system
00:20:02.019 --> 00:20:04.722
On living by the system of payback, you'll always be
00:20:04.789 --> 00:20:06.824
Of payback, you'll always be the one punished.
00:20:06.891 --> 00:20:10.761
The one punished. you'll always be
00:20:10.828 --> 00:20:12.997
You'll always be the one who ends up choked.
00:20:13.064 --> 00:20:14.232
Watch.
00:20:14.332 --> 00:20:14.865
Watch. when the other servant saw
00:20:14.932 --> 00:20:15.633
When the other servant saw what had happened,
00:20:15.700 --> 00:20:16.267
What had happened, they were outraged,
00:20:16.334 --> 00:20:16.968
They were outraged, and they went and told
00:20:17.034 --> 00:20:17.802
And they went and told their master everything
00:20:17.868 --> 00:20:18.636
Their master everything that had happened.
00:20:18.703 --> 00:20:19.804
That had happened. and then the master called
00:20:19.870 --> 00:20:20.538
And then the master called the servant in.
00:20:20.605 --> 00:20:21.305
The servant in. he said, "you wicked servant.
00:20:21.372 --> 00:20:22.206
He said, "you wicked servant. i canceled all that debt of
00:20:22.273 --> 00:20:22.940
I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
00:20:23.007 --> 00:20:24.909
Yours because you begged me to. like, you got in and you got
00:20:24.976 --> 00:20:26.777
Like, you got in and you got set free by grace,
00:20:26.844 --> 00:20:28.079
But now you want to demand
00:20:28.179 --> 00:20:29.413
But now you want to demand what the law requires
00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:30.948
What the law requires of somebody else.
00:20:31.015 --> 00:20:32.817
Shouldn't you have had mercy
00:20:32.917 --> 00:20:33.884
Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just
00:20:33.951 --> 00:20:35.486
On your fellow servant just as i had mercy on you?"
00:20:35.553 --> 00:20:39.090
As i had mercy on you?" now i hear it.
00:20:39.156 --> 00:20:40.191
Now i hear it. our father who art in heaven,
00:20:40.258 --> 00:20:41.325
Hallowed be your name.
00:20:41.425 --> 00:20:42.526
Hallowed be your name. your kingdom come,
00:20:42.593 --> 00:20:43.561
Your kingdom come, your will be done
00:20:43.628 --> 00:20:44.161
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
00:20:44.228 --> 00:20:45.930
On earth as it is in heaven. and give us this day
00:20:45.997 --> 00:20:46.697
And give us this day our daily bread
00:20:46.764 --> 00:20:47.231
Our daily bread and forgive us our debts
00:20:47.298 --> 00:20:50.368
And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
00:20:50.434 --> 00:20:59.176
As we forgive our debtors. how dare you choke somebody else
00:20:59.243 --> 00:21:03.014
How dare you choke somebody else when god had mercy on you.
00:21:03.080 --> 00:21:05.116
When god had mercy on you. how dare you ask god
00:21:05.182 --> 00:21:06.984
How dare you ask god for patience
00:21:07.051 --> 00:21:08.686
For patience and you demand payback.
00:21:08.753 --> 00:21:10.655
And you demand payback. how dare you bow your knee
00:21:10.721 --> 00:21:12.723
How dare you bow your knee to god and then stand over
00:21:12.790 --> 00:21:14.458
To god and then stand over your brother, your sister,
00:21:14.525 --> 00:21:16.027
Your brother, your sister, your husband, your wife,
00:21:16.093 --> 00:21:17.361
Your husband, your wife, choking, saying,
00:21:17.428 --> 00:21:18.162
Choking, saying, "pay me what you owe me."
00:21:18.229 --> 00:21:20.831
"pay me what you owe me." so i don't know about you,
00:21:20.898 --> 00:21:22.967
So i don't know about you, but i want to give a lot
00:21:23.034 --> 00:21:24.335
But i want to give a lot of grace because i think
00:21:24.402 --> 00:21:25.269
Of grace because i think i'm going to need a lot to make
00:21:25.336 --> 00:21:26.270
I'm going to need a lot to make it to heaven and make it
00:21:26.337 --> 00:21:27.438
It to heaven and make it through this life.
00:21:27.505 --> 00:21:31.676
Through this life. i can't choke you
00:21:31.742 --> 00:21:33.044
I can't choke you because i know that i'm the one
00:21:33.110 --> 00:21:34.578
Because i know that i'm the one who should have been choked.
00:21:34.645 --> 00:21:37.248
Who should have been choked. i know that usually whatever
00:21:37.315 --> 00:21:38.382
I know that usually whatever i see in you is a reflection
00:21:38.449 --> 00:21:39.750
I see in you is a reflection of something that
00:21:39.817 --> 00:21:40.518
Of something that i know is in me.
00:21:40.584 --> 00:21:44.088
I know is in me. and so his master, in anger,
00:21:44.155 --> 00:21:46.691
Handed him over to the jailers
00:21:46.791 --> 00:21:47.958
Handed him over to the jailers to be tortured.
00:21:48.025 --> 00:21:50.161
To be tortured. doesn't say
00:21:50.227 --> 00:21:50.795
Doesn't say the master tortured him.
00:21:50.861 --> 00:21:52.396
The master tortured him. he handed him over
00:21:52.463 --> 00:21:53.064
He handed him over to be tortured.
00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:54.832
To be tortured. see, that's what happens
00:21:54.899 --> 00:21:56.400
In a marriage when
00:21:56.500 --> 00:21:57.234
In a marriage when you're so quick to bring up all
00:21:57.301 --> 00:21:58.536
You're so quick to bring up all these offenses, and you're
00:21:58.602 --> 00:21:59.437
These offenses, and you're so quick, and you keep
00:21:59.503 --> 00:22:00.271
So quick, and you keep a five-year history of things
00:22:00.338 --> 00:22:01.939
A five-year history of things that she said or things
00:22:02.006 --> 00:22:02.773
That she said or things that he did, and you'll pull it
00:22:02.840 --> 00:22:04.342
That he did, and you'll pull it up on command.
00:22:04.408 --> 00:22:05.176
Up on command. it's amazing.
00:22:05.242 --> 00:22:06.010
It's amazing. you just got it on speed dial.
00:22:06.077 --> 00:22:07.311
You just got it on speed dial. you just [indicating], like,
00:22:07.378 --> 00:22:08.779
You just [indicating], like, whoa.
00:22:08.846 --> 00:22:11.248
Whoa. you're a collector.
00:22:11.315 --> 00:22:12.383
You're a collector. you think you're
00:22:12.450 --> 00:22:13.017
You think you're god's bounty hunter.
00:22:13.084 --> 00:22:16.954
God's bounty hunter. and when you live that way,
00:22:17.021 --> 00:22:17.888
And when you live that way, god says,
00:22:17.955 --> 00:22:18.522
God says, "i got to hand you over."
00:22:18.589 --> 00:22:19.290
"i got to hand you over." watch this, romans 13:8.
00:22:19.357 --> 00:22:20.725
Watch this, romans 13:8. romans 13:8 it says, listen,
00:22:20.791 --> 00:22:24.428
"let no debt," romans 13:8,
00:22:24.528 --> 00:22:29.367
"let no debt," romans 13:8, "let no debt remain outstanding,
00:22:29.433 --> 00:22:32.703
"let no debt remain outstanding, debt remain outstanding,
00:22:32.770 --> 00:22:33.971
Debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt
00:22:34.038 --> 00:22:37.308
Except the continuing debt to love one another,
00:22:37.375 --> 00:22:40.678
To love one another, for whoever loves,"
00:22:40.745 --> 00:22:42.012
For whoever loves," see, you came into
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:43.114
See, you came into your relationship with
00:22:43.180 --> 00:22:44.148
Your relationship with god as a debtor.
00:22:44.215 --> 00:22:45.883
God had mercy on me, a sinner.
00:22:45.983 --> 00:22:47.952
God had mercy on me, a sinner. if you're saved,
00:22:48.018 --> 00:22:48.986
If you're saved, if you're set free,
00:22:49.053 --> 00:22:50.621
If you're set free, if you're filled with god,
00:22:50.688 --> 00:22:51.522
If you're filled with god, if you have forgiveness,
00:22:51.589 --> 00:22:52.823
If you have forgiveness, if you have remission of sins,
00:22:52.890 --> 00:22:54.325
If you have remission of sins, if you've been cleansed,
00:22:54.392 --> 00:22:56.494
If you've been cleansed, it wasn't because you paid
00:22:56.560 --> 00:22:57.194
It wasn't because you paid god back.
00:22:57.261 --> 00:22:58.028
God back. it's because you bowed down
00:22:58.095 --> 00:22:59.830
It's because you bowed down on your knees and he took pity
00:22:59.897 --> 00:23:00.965
On your knees and he took pity on you and he had mercy on you.
00:23:01.031 --> 00:23:03.267
On you and he had mercy on you. now, don't you get up off
00:23:03.334 --> 00:23:04.702
Now, don't you get up off your knees and start grabbing
00:23:04.769 --> 00:23:05.870
Your knees and start grabbing people by their throat.
00:23:05.936 --> 00:23:07.705
People by their throat. don't you get up off your knees
00:23:07.772 --> 00:23:09.140
Don't you get up off your knees and start putting your hand
00:23:09.206 --> 00:23:10.508
And start putting your hand on your hip and waiting for them
00:23:10.574 --> 00:23:12.042
On your hip and waiting for them at the door every time
00:23:12.109 --> 00:23:13.144
At the door every time they mess up.
00:23:13.210 --> 00:23:14.512
They mess up. sometimes you better get
00:23:14.578 --> 00:23:15.312
Sometimes you better get your hand off your hip
00:23:15.379 --> 00:23:16.847
Your hand off your hip and uncross your arms
00:23:16.914 --> 00:23:18.149
And uncross your arms and throw your arms
00:23:18.215 --> 00:23:20.418
And throw your arms around somebody and say,
00:23:20.484 --> 00:23:21.051
Around somebody and say, "i forgive you
00:23:21.118 --> 00:23:21.952
"i forgive you like he forgave me.
00:23:22.019 --> 00:23:23.554
Like he forgave me. i give grace
00:23:23.621 --> 00:23:24.522
I give grace like i was given grace."
00:23:24.588 --> 00:23:26.490
Like i was given grace." and grace will change a life.
00:23:26.557 --> 00:23:28.192
>> alright, let's interact
00:23:30.294 --> 00:23:31.162
>> alright, let's interact for a moment,
00:23:31.228 --> 00:23:32.196
For a moment, just pretend like
00:23:32.263 --> 00:23:32.797
Just pretend like i'm there with you.
00:23:32.863 --> 00:23:33.764
I'm there with you. have you ever experienced
00:23:33.831 --> 00:23:35.533
Have you ever experienced a challenging relationship?
00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:37.501
A challenging relationship? holly do this, do this.
00:23:37.568 --> 00:23:40.104
Holly do this, do this. okay, be careful how
00:23:40.171 --> 00:23:40.971
You respond if you're sitting
00:23:41.071 --> 00:23:41.839
You respond if you're sitting in your living room watching
00:23:41.906 --> 00:23:42.807
In your living room watching this with your spouse,
00:23:42.873 --> 00:23:44.875
This with your spouse, or someone that you love.
00:23:44.942 --> 00:23:46.377
Or someone that you love. the truth is,
00:23:46.444 --> 00:23:47.211
The truth is, relationships are
00:23:47.278 --> 00:23:48.512
Relationships are challenging by design,
00:23:48.579 --> 00:23:50.047
Challenging by design, it's how god grows us.
00:23:50.114 --> 00:23:51.348
It's how god grows us. >> right.
00:23:51.415 --> 00:23:51.682
>> right. >> but, it's his intention
00:23:51.749 --> 00:23:53.517
>> but, it's his intention for you to do more than just
00:23:53.584 --> 00:23:54.718
For you to do more than just survive your relationships.
00:23:54.785 --> 00:23:56.654
Survive your relationships. i believe he wants you
00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:57.655
I believe he wants you to thrive in them.
00:23:57.721 --> 00:23:58.389
To thrive in them. >> yes.
00:23:58.456 --> 00:23:58.823
>> yes. >> and his word gives us
00:23:58.889 --> 00:23:59.890
>> and his word gives us the tools to make that possible.
00:23:59.957 --> 00:24:01.525
The tools to make that possible. so, today, i have a special,
00:24:01.592 --> 00:24:03.394
So, today, i have a special, most requested resource
00:24:03.461 --> 00:24:05.629
Most requested resource that i wanna send to you,
00:24:05.696 --> 00:24:06.697
That i wanna send to you, it's called,
00:24:06.764 --> 00:24:07.832
It's called, "meant to be."
00:24:07.898 --> 00:24:08.699
"meant to be." it will show you
00:24:08.766 --> 00:24:09.600
It will show you some of the bible's best kept
00:24:09.667 --> 00:24:10.835
Some of the bible's best kept secrets about sex, shh,
00:24:10.901 --> 00:24:14.839
Secrets about sex, shh, marriage, and being single.
00:24:14.905 --> 00:24:17.508
Marriage, and being single. >> it's so good,
00:24:17.575 --> 00:24:18.442
>> it's so good, and it's really not
00:24:18.509 --> 00:24:19.109
And it's really not just a relationship series.
00:24:19.176 --> 00:24:21.178
Just a relationship series. this resource truly has
00:24:21.245 --> 00:24:22.913
This resource truly has the power to impact your life.
00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:24.248
The power to impact your life. we've heard stories of marriages
00:24:24.315 --> 00:24:26.183
We've heard stories of marriages that were restored,
00:24:26.250 --> 00:24:27.451
That were restored, and single people that
00:24:27.518 --> 00:24:28.285
And single people that learned to embrace the season
00:24:28.352 --> 00:24:29.687
Learned to embrace the season that there in instead of
00:24:29.753 --> 00:24:31.322
That there in instead of focusing on the relationships
00:24:31.388 --> 00:24:32.790
Focusing on the relationships that they don't have.
00:24:32.857 --> 00:24:33.858
That they don't have. i know that this series
00:24:33.924 --> 00:24:35.426
I know that this series is gonna help you like it
00:24:35.493 --> 00:24:37.027
Is gonna help you like it has so many already.
00:24:37.094 --> 00:24:38.762
Has so many already. >> and, we wanna help you,
00:24:38.829 --> 00:24:39.663
>> and, we wanna help you, we're here to help you.
00:24:39.730 --> 00:24:40.498
We're here to help you. >> yeah.
00:24:40.564 --> 00:24:40.865
>> yeah. >> so, i'm gonna send you
00:24:40.931 --> 00:24:41.632
>> so, i'm gonna send you this resource, "meant to be,"
00:24:41.699 --> 00:24:43.000
This resource, "meant to be," with your gift of any amount
00:24:43.067 --> 00:24:44.869
With your gift of any amount to the ministry today.
00:24:44.935 --> 00:24:46.804
To the ministry today. just go online, right now,
00:24:46.871 --> 00:24:49.039
Just go online, right now, or call the number
00:24:49.106 --> 00:24:49.607
Or call the number on the screen, right now,
00:24:49.673 --> 00:24:51.342
On the screen, right now, and request your copy of
00:24:51.408 --> 00:24:52.610
And request your copy of "meant to be."
00:24:52.676 --> 00:24:53.444
"meant to be." say, "i want it,"
00:24:53.511 --> 00:24:54.545
Say, "i want it," and we'll get it out
00:24:54.612 --> 00:24:55.713
And we'll get it out to you right away.
00:24:55.779 --> 00:24:56.580
To you right away. here's some more info as well
00:24:56.647 --> 00:24:57.982
Here's some more info as well as some additional resources
00:24:58.048 --> 00:24:59.316
As some additional resources you can request today.
00:24:59.383 --> 00:25:00.818
>> "relationship essentials"
00:25:01.652 --> 00:25:02.620
Features two
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:03.320
Of pastor steven furtick's
00:25:03.420 --> 00:25:04.655
Most requested series,
00:25:04.755 --> 00:25:05.890
"meant to be,"
00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:06.524
And "the other half."
00:25:06.624 --> 00:25:07.491
"meant to be,"
00:25:07.591 --> 00:25:08.492
Is a powerful 5-part series
00:25:08.592 --> 00:25:09.760
Uncovering the bible's
00:25:09.860 --> 00:25:10.628
Best-kept secrets about sex,
00:25:10.728 --> 00:25:12.229
Marriage, and being single.
00:25:12.329 --> 00:25:13.764
And, "the other half,"
00:25:13.864 --> 00:25:14.798
Is a 4-part series that
00:25:14.899 --> 00:25:16.000
Provides practical steps
00:25:16.100 --> 00:25:17.334
To shift your focus
00:25:17.434 --> 00:25:18.002
In relationships and prioritize
00:25:18.102 --> 00:25:19.803
What matters most.
00:25:19.904 --> 00:25:20.938
Together these two series
00:25:21.038 --> 00:25:22.206
Provide the tools you need
00:25:22.306 --> 00:25:23.440
For healthier relationships,
00:25:23.541 --> 00:25:24.875
God's way.
00:25:24.975 --> 00:25:25.643
"relationship essentials"
00:25:25.743 --> 00:25:26.844
Is available for your gift
00:25:26.944 --> 00:25:27.945
Of any amount.
00:25:28.045 --> 00:25:28.879
Call or visit us online now
00:25:28.979 --> 00:25:30.381
To request your copy.
00:25:30.481 --> 00:25:31.115
>> the lord sent
00:25:32.016 --> 00:25:32.616
>> the lord sent a special word for somebody,
00:25:32.683 --> 00:25:34.318
A special word for somebody, and i can't wait to find out
00:25:34.385 --> 00:25:36.053
And i can't wait to find out who it is that he sent it for.
00:25:36.120 --> 00:25:37.621
♪ ♪
00:25:41.258 --> 00:25:46.897
♪ you woke me up this morning ♪
00:25:48.365 --> 00:25:50.100
♪ you started me on my way ♪
00:25:50.167 --> 00:25:52.136
♪ put food on my table ♪
00:25:52.202 --> 00:25:54.204
♪ put joy to my day ♪
00:25:54.271 --> 00:25:56.307
♪ i can't count the reasons ♪
00:25:56.373 --> 00:25:58.342
♪ come on ♪
00:25:58.409 --> 00:25:58.909
♪ that's why ♪
00:25:58.976 --> 00:26:00.578
♪ that's why i owe you praise ♪
00:26:00.644 --> 00:26:05.583
♪ ♪
00:26:06.283 --> 00:26:13.557
♪ i will bless the lord ♪
00:26:14.124 --> 00:26:14.925
♪ at all times ♪
00:26:14.992 --> 00:26:16.193
♪ i will bless the lord ♪
00:26:16.260 --> 00:26:17.061
♪ at all times ♪
00:26:17.127 --> 00:26:18.128
♪ i will bless the lord ♪
00:26:18.195 --> 00:26:19.229
♪ at all times ♪
00:26:19.296 --> 00:26:20.464
♪ and his praises ♪
00:26:20.531 --> 00:26:22.132
♪ shall be in my mouth ♪
00:26:22.199 --> 00:26:27.571
♪ if you've got a praise ♪
00:26:27.638 --> 00:26:29.340
♪ lift your voice in the room ♪
00:26:29.406 --> 00:26:30.608
♪ ♪
00:26:31.241 --> 00:26:34.712
♪ praises ♪
00:26:35.179 --> 00:26:37.014
♪ oh lord ♪
00:26:37.081 --> 00:26:37.881
♪ you deserve ♪
00:26:37.948 --> 00:26:39.917
♪ oh lord you deserve ♪
00:26:39.984 --> 00:26:41.819
♪ all my ♪
00:26:41.885 --> 00:26:42.920
♪ praises ♪
00:26:42.987 --> 00:26:44.989
♪ oh lord ♪
00:26:45.055 --> 00:26:45.789
♪ you deserve ♪
00:26:45.856 --> 00:26:47.124
>> ♪ only you ♪
00:26:47.191 --> 00:26:48.058
>> ♪ only you deserve all my ♪
00:26:48.125 --> 00:26:50.894
♪ praises ♪
00:26:50.961 --> 00:26:52.963
♪ oh lord ♪
00:26:53.030 --> 00:26:53.597
♪ you deserve ♪
00:26:53.664 --> 00:26:54.798
>> ♪ if i really ♪
00:26:54.865 --> 00:26:55.633
♪ think about it ♪
00:26:55.699 --> 00:26:56.333
>> ♪ oh lord ♪
00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:57.067
♪ you deserve ♪
00:26:57.134 --> 00:26:57.968
>> ♪ you deserve ♪
00:26:58.035 --> 00:26:59.003
♪ praises ♪
00:26:59.069 --> 00:27:00.838
♪ oh lord ♪
00:27:00.904 --> 00:27:01.739
♪ you deserve ♪
00:27:01.805 --> 00:27:02.706
>> ♪ only ♪
00:27:02.773 --> 00:27:03.707
>> ♪ only you deserve ♪
00:27:03.774 --> 00:27:05.509
♪ all my praise ♪
00:27:05.576 --> 00:27:06.744
>> ♪ i'll never get over it ♪
00:27:06.810 --> 00:27:09.580
♪ i won't forget ♪
00:27:09.647 --> 00:27:11.915
♪ what you did ♪
00:27:11.982 --> 00:27:14.351
♪ i'll never get over it ♪
00:27:14.418 --> 00:27:17.354
♪ i wont' forget ♪
00:27:17.421 --> 00:27:19.723
♪ what you did ♪
00:27:19.790 --> 00:27:21.225
♪ oh i'll never get over it ♪
00:27:21.291 --> 00:27:25.162
>> ♪ i won't forget ♪
00:27:25.229 --> 00:27:27.731
♪ what you did ♪
00:27:27.798 --> 00:27:29.133
>> ♪ i'll never get over it ♪
00:27:29.199 --> 00:27:29.999

Steven Furtick - How To Save Your Husband (Part 1)

February 10, 2025 | S25:E40

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