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Steven Furtick | Steven Furtick - Is It Good For A Man To Not Have Sexual Relations With A Woman (Part 1) | February 3, 2025
- An encouraging message
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- From pastor steven furtick
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- Of elevation church.
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- If you're looking
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- To strengthen your faith
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- And shift your perspective,
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- Stay tuned.
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- ♪ ♪
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- >> we're starting
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- >> we're starting this series today,
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- This series today, which i have boldly called --
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- Which i have boldly called -- well, the title is
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- Well, the title is meant to be,
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- Meant to be, but the subtitle says
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- But the subtitle says it's the bibles best kept
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- It's the bibles best kept secrets about sex, marriage,
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- Secrets about sex, marriage, and being single.
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- And being single. and, i say it because
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- And, i say it because i'm gonna preach
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- I'm gonna preach from a chapter of scripture
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- From a chapter of scripture for the next five weeks
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- For the next five weeks that i haven't heard a lot
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- That i haven't heard a lot of preachers preach from
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- Of preachers preach from because it's very bizarre.
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- Turn in your bible
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- Turn in your bible to 1 corinthians 7.
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- To 1 corinthians 7. last week we said goodbye
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- Last week we said goodbye to jacob in our series,
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- To jacob in our series, "death to selfie."
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- "death to selfie." i have been mourning
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- I have been mourning the loss of jacob all week.
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- The loss of jacob all week. i enjoyed preaching about him
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- I enjoyed preaching about him so much and i've been,
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- Yeah, i've been --
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- [applause]
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- Yeah, i've been --
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- Yeah, i've been -- i've been in mourning
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- I've been in mourning this week.
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- This week. just, like, just not even
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- Just, like, just not even wanting to move on, just --
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- Wanting to move on, just -- but we gotta go now.
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- But we gotta go now. and, i like to teach
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- And, i like to teach and preach in several
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- And preach in several different styles as well.
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- Different styles as well. i don't think that you should
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- I don't think that you should come to church and just be
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- Come to church and just be addicted to one style
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- Addicted to one style of ministry,
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- Of ministry, one style of music,
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- One style of music, or one style of preaching.
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- Or one style of preaching. so, i would say our last series
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- So, i would say our last series was a pretty preachy series,
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- Was a pretty preachy series, yeah?
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- Yeah? give you
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- Give you a lot of opportunities
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- A lot of opportunities to get up on your feet
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- To get up on your feet and respond to god's word.
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- And respond to god's word. i wanna teach a little bit over
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- I wanna teach a little bit over the next five weeks and just
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- The next five weeks and just get into this one chapter
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- Get into this one chapter of scripture
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- Of scripture and just take it
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- And just take it verse by verse and see what
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- Verse by verse and see what god has to say to us about
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- God has to say to us about the relationships in our lives.
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- The relationships in our lives. i wanted to do it in a way
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- I wanted to do it in a way that would feel fresh
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- That would feel fresh and so i haven't divided up
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- And so i haven't divided up each week into
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- Each week into this is the week for
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- This is the week for the single people and this is
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- The single people and this is the week for the married people
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- The week for the married people and this is the week --
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- And this is the week -- i didn't wanna do that
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- I didn't wanna do that because it's so predictable
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- Because it's so predictable and so i'm gonna let
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- And so i'm gonna let the scripture be our guide,
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- The scripture be our guide, which is probably a good idea
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- Which is probably a good idea anyway rather than me
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- Anyway rather than me dividing up my opinions
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- Dividing up my opinions of what i think you
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- Of what i think you need to hear about.
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- Need to hear about. just let the text set
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- Just let the text set the trajectory of the series
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- The trajectory of the series and so, whereas in our
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- And so, whereas in our last series we covered,
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- Last series we covered, i think 12 chapters
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- I think 12 chapters of scripture give or take,
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- Of scripture give or take, we're only going to stay on one
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- We're only going to stay on one for this five-week series
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- For this five-week series and just take these verses
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- And just take these verses and see what god
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- And see what god would say to us today.
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- Would say to us today. and, i know it'll speak to your
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- And, i know it'll speak to your situation wherever you are.
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- Situation wherever you are. he has the ability to do that
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- He has the ability to do that and only he can.
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- And only he can. i mean, this is a
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- I mean, this is a supernatural thing
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- Supernatural thing that we could have people
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- That we could have people in the room who are on
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- In the room who are on their fourth marriage
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- Their fourth marriage and people in the room
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- And people in the room who are 14 years old
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- Who are 14 years old and god can, through his word,
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- And god can, through his word, just divide it and get you
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- Just divide it and get you the portion that you need
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- The portion that you need and the way you need
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- And the way you need to hear and we're praying
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- To hear and we're praying that he would do that
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- That he would do that and we just,
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- And we just, we're believing for some
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- We're believing for some really great things
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- Really great things in this series.
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- In this series. let's get to it.
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- Let's get to it. i'm taking up all my time
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- I'm taking up all my time in introductory remarks
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- In introductory remarks and i've got a lot
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- And i've got a lot to say to you.
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- To say to you. god's put a lot on my heart.
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- God's put a lot on my heart. 1 corinthians 7:1-7.
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- 1 corinthians 7:1-7. i'll read it really fast
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- I'll read it really fast and then i'll back up
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- And then i'll back up and take it apart
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- And take it apart a little bit this week.
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- A little bit this week. you'll need to come
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- You'll need to come several weeks of this series
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- Several weeks of this series or you're going to get
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- Or you're going to get an imbalanced view
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- An imbalanced view of what we're trying to say.
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- Of what we're trying to say. i cannot possibly address
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- I cannot possibly address everything in the opening week.
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- Everything in the opening week. so, you're gonna have to take
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- So, you're gonna have to take some initiative for this
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- Some initiative for this to really make a difference
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- To really make a difference in your life and we believe
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- In your life and we believe that it will.
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- 1 corinthians 7:1-7,
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- 1 corinthians 7:1-7, "paul says,
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- "paul says, 'now for the matters
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- 'now for the matters you wrote about,
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- You wrote about, it is good for a man
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- It is good for a man not to have sexual relations
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- Not to have sexual relations with a woman but since
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- With a woman but since sexual immorality is occurring,
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- Sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have
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- Each man should have sexual relations with
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- Sexual relations with his own wife and each woman
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- His own wife and each woman with her own husband.
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- With her own husband. the husband should fulfill
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- The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife
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- His marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife
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- And likewise the wife to her husband.
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- To her husband. the wife does not have
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- The wife does not have authority over her own body
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- Authority over her own body but yields it to her husband
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- But yields it to her husband in the same way
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- In the same way the husband does not have
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- The husband does not have authority over his own body
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- Authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
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- But yields it to his wife. do not deprive each other
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- Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent
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- Except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time so that you may
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- And for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
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- Devote yourselves to prayer. then come together again so that
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- Then come together again so that satan will not temp you because
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- Satan will not temp you because of your lack of self-control.
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- Of your lack of self-control. i say this as a concession,
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- I say this as a concession, not as a command.
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- Not as a command. i wish that all of you were
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- I wish that all of you were as i am but each of you
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- As i am but each of you has your own gift from god.
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- Has your own gift from god. one has this gift,
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- One has this gift, another has that.'"
- 00:04:03.006 --> 00:04:05.575
- Another has that.'" let's go back to verse one
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- Let's go back to verse one to begin our study today
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- To begin our study today where paul says,
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- Where paul says, "now, for the matters
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- "now, for the matters you wrote about,
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- You wrote about, it is good for a man
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- It is good for a man not to have sexual relations
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- Not to have sexual relations with a woman."
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- With a woman." the title of my message today,
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- Appropriately i think is,
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- Appropriately i think is, "it is good for a man
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- "it is good for a man not to have sexual relations
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- Not to have sexual relations with a woman."
- 00:04:23.893 --> 00:04:24.627
- With a woman." if you're looking for a title
- 00:04:24.694 --> 00:04:25.528
- If you're looking for a title to put on top of your
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- To put on top of your worship guide there,
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- Worship guide there, this is the title.
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- This is the title. usually they're catchier
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- Usually they're catchier and a little punchier
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- And a little punchier but this week,
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- But this week, we're just going to go with
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- We're just going to go with exactly what paul said
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- Exactly what paul said in the text
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- In the text and we're gonna talk about
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- And we're gonna talk about it is good for a man
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- It is good for a man not to have sexual relations
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- Not to have sexual relations with a woman.
- 00:04:39.942 --> 00:04:40.510
- With a woman. how many of you agree
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- How many of you agree with the apostle paul
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- With the apostle paul here on this point,
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- Here on this point, that it is good for a man
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- That it is good for a man not to have sexual relations
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- Not to have sexual relations with a woman?
- 00:04:49.252 --> 00:04:50.453
- With a woman? if you're uncomfortable
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- If you're uncomfortable already at this point
- 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:51.954
- Already at this point in the sermon you should
- 00:04:52.021 --> 00:04:52.789
- In the sermon you should definitely go to ekidz,
- 00:04:52.855 --> 00:04:53.790
- Definitely go to ekidz, i'm sure they'd make
- 00:04:53.856 --> 00:04:54.357
- I'm sure they'd make an exception for you as well.
- 00:04:54.424 --> 00:04:57.060
- An exception for you as well. it's gonna get a lot more
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- It's gonna get a lot more awkward than this and i know
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- Awkward than this and i know there's a guy that is
- 00:05:02.598 --> 00:05:04.300
- There's a guy that is looking at the title
- 00:05:04.367 --> 00:05:05.702
- Looking at the title of my sermon today saying,
- 00:05:05.768 --> 00:05:07.370
- Of my sermon today saying, "oh, crap, i hate this church,"
- 00:05:07.437 --> 00:05:08.905
- "oh, crap, i hate this church," because this is the way
- 00:05:08.971 --> 00:05:10.340
- Because this is the way you've always viewed church
- 00:05:10.406 --> 00:05:11.341
- You've always viewed church when it comes to matters
- 00:05:11.407 --> 00:05:12.275
- When it comes to matters of sexuality.
- 00:05:12.342 --> 00:05:13.176
- Of sexuality. it's like, you know,
- 00:05:13.242 --> 00:05:14.310
- It's like, you know, paul is actually single
- 00:05:14.377 --> 00:05:15.378
- Paul is actually single when he's writing this,
- 00:05:15.445 --> 00:05:16.646
- When he's writing this, most scholars believe
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- Most scholars believe that he had a wife
- 00:05:18.147 --> 00:05:19.182
- That he had a wife at one point but she died.
- 00:05:19.248 --> 00:05:20.316
- At one point but she died. because to have a position
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- Because to have a position like he had in hebrew culture,
- 00:05:21.818 --> 00:05:24.354
- Like he had in hebrew culture, in jewish culture,
- 00:05:24.420 --> 00:05:25.621
- In jewish culture, he would have had a wife.
- 00:05:25.688 --> 00:05:27.056
- He would have had a wife. he would have been required
- 00:05:27.123 --> 00:05:27.857
- He would have been required to have a wife but he doesn't
- 00:05:27.924 --> 00:05:29.625
- To have a wife but he doesn't have a wife anymore,
- 00:05:29.692 --> 00:05:30.626
- Have a wife anymore, we find out in the chapter,
- 00:05:30.693 --> 00:05:31.461
- We find out in the chapter, and she probably has died
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- And she probably has died because he would have not been
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- Because he would have not been permitted to divorce
- 00:05:34.364 --> 00:05:35.198
- Permitted to divorce and then keep his position.
- 00:05:35.264 --> 00:05:36.199
- And then keep his position. so, he probably had a wife
- 00:05:36.265 --> 00:05:37.066
- So, he probably had a wife and she died
- 00:05:37.133 --> 00:05:37.867
- And she died but now he's saying it is
- 00:05:37.934 --> 00:05:38.801
- But now he's saying it is good for man to not have
- 00:05:38.868 --> 00:05:41.104
- Good for man to not have sexual relations with a woman.
- 00:05:41.170 --> 00:05:44.040
- Sexual relations with a woman. and, part of us thinks,
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- And, part of us thinks, you know,
- 00:05:45.341 --> 00:05:45.842
- You know, "well, oh, is paul like
- 00:05:45.908 --> 00:05:46.542
- "well, oh, is paul like the guy who because he isn't,
- 00:05:46.609 --> 00:05:48.244
- The guy who because he isn't, you know, getting any,
- 00:05:48.311 --> 00:05:50.813
- You know, getting any, we're not allowed to either?"
- 00:05:50.880 --> 00:05:52.215
- We're not allowed to either?" which is how the church
- 00:05:52.281 --> 00:05:52.882
- Which is how the church is often seen.
- 00:05:52.949 --> 00:05:53.516
- Is often seen. like, you guys don't
- 00:05:53.583 --> 00:05:54.250
- Like, you guys don't have any sex so,
- 00:05:54.317 --> 00:05:56.185
- You spend all your time
- 00:05:56.285 --> 00:05:56.886
- You spend all your time trying to keep all the rest
- 00:05:56.953 --> 00:05:57.620
- Trying to keep all the rest of us from having sex as well.
- 00:05:57.687 --> 00:05:59.255
- Of us from having sex as well. and, there's a tendency to think
- 00:05:59.322 --> 00:06:01.691
- And, there's a tendency to think that that's what paul
- 00:06:01.758 --> 00:06:02.558
- That that's what paul is doing here,
- 00:06:02.625 --> 00:06:03.359
- Is doing here, but in order to understand
- 00:06:03.426 --> 00:06:04.927
- But in order to understand the text, you do have
- 00:06:04.994 --> 00:06:06.095
- The text, you do have to understand the context,
- 00:06:06.162 --> 00:06:07.663
- To understand the context, and it's always
- 00:06:07.730 --> 00:06:08.664
- And it's always an important thing.
- 00:06:08.731 --> 00:06:09.499
- An important thing. so, i wanna walk you
- 00:06:09.565 --> 00:06:10.800
- Through this.
- 00:06:10.900 --> 00:06:11.200
- Through this. now, i won't take long,
- 00:06:11.267 --> 00:06:12.135
- Now, i won't take long, i'm just introducing the topic
- 00:06:12.201 --> 00:06:13.403
- I'm just introducing the topic this week and we'll get more
- 00:06:13.469 --> 00:06:14.771
- This week and we'll get more in depth in the coming weeks.
- 00:06:14.837 --> 00:06:16.205
- In depth in the coming weeks. but i just wanna have
- 00:06:16.272 --> 00:06:16.839
- But i just wanna have a conversation and open
- 00:06:16.906 --> 00:06:17.707
- A conversation and open the conversation with you
- 00:06:17.774 --> 00:06:19.275
- The conversation with you from this chapter of scripture
- 00:06:19.342 --> 00:06:21.577
- From this chapter of scripture that was originally part
- 00:06:21.644 --> 00:06:23.146
- That was originally part of a letter that paul wrote
- 00:06:23.212 --> 00:06:25.181
- Of a letter that paul wrote to a church at corinth
- 00:06:25.248 --> 00:06:26.883
- To a church at corinth that was experiencing
- 00:06:26.949 --> 00:06:27.917
- That was experiencing great division and dysfunction.
- 00:06:27.984 --> 00:06:30.119
- Great division and dysfunction. and paul, like a good pastor,
- 00:06:30.186 --> 00:06:32.388
- And paul, like a good pastor, is taking the questions
- 00:06:32.455 --> 00:06:34.090
- Is taking the questions of the people in the culture
- 00:06:34.157 --> 00:06:36.159
- Of the people in the culture of their day with
- 00:06:36.225 --> 00:06:37.260
- Of their day with the complications
- 00:06:37.326 --> 00:06:38.327
- The complications they were facing
- 00:06:38.394 --> 00:06:39.395
- They were facing and he's speaking into culture.
- 00:06:39.462 --> 00:06:42.265
- And he's speaking into culture. the first thing,
- 00:06:42.331 --> 00:06:43.766
- The first thing, i have four of these
- 00:06:43.833 --> 00:06:44.834
- I have four of these that we wanna talk about today
- 00:06:44.901 --> 00:06:46.369
- That we wanna talk about today is the tension between
- 00:06:46.436 --> 00:06:47.570
- Is the tension between questions and issues.
- 00:06:47.637 --> 00:06:50.206
- Questions and issues. the tension between
- 00:06:50.273 --> 00:06:50.873
- The tension between questions and issues.
- 00:06:50.940 --> 00:06:54.377
- Questions and issues. see, if you notice here in
- 00:06:54.444 --> 00:06:55.845
- The first verse of this chapter,
- 00:06:55.945 --> 00:06:59.449
- The first verse of this chapter, before paul says it is good
- 00:06:59.515 --> 00:07:00.883
- Before paul says it is good for a man not to have
- 00:07:00.950 --> 00:07:01.884
- For a man not to have sexual relations with a woman,
- 00:07:01.951 --> 00:07:03.553
- Sexual relations with a woman, he says in his
- 00:07:03.619 --> 00:07:04.420
- He says in his introductory phrase,
- 00:07:04.487 --> 00:07:05.455
- Introductory phrase, "now, for the matters
- 00:07:05.521 --> 00:07:07.323
- "now, for the matters you wrote about."
- 00:07:07.390 --> 00:07:08.691
- You wrote about." so, apparently,
- 00:07:08.758 --> 00:07:09.859
- The corinthian church had
- 00:07:09.959 --> 00:07:10.793
- The corinthian church had put together a list of questions
- 00:07:10.860 --> 00:07:12.628
- Put together a list of questions for the great apostle paul
- 00:07:12.695 --> 00:07:14.597
- For the great apostle paul and they asked him questions,
- 00:07:14.664 --> 00:07:16.766
- And they asked him questions, you know, a list of questions.
- 00:07:16.833 --> 00:07:18.568
- You know, a list of questions. "hey, paul, here's what
- 00:07:18.634 --> 00:07:19.769
- "hey, paul, here's what we need to know about.
- 00:07:19.836 --> 00:07:21.237
- We need to know about. here's what we're dealing with."
- 00:07:21.304 --> 00:07:22.638
- Here's what we're dealing with." and in this list you're about
- 00:07:22.705 --> 00:07:23.940
- And in this list you're about to see paul answer many
- 00:07:24.006 --> 00:07:25.541
- To see paul answer many of their questions
- 00:07:25.608 --> 00:07:26.242
- Of their questions in 1 corinthians 7 like,
- 00:07:26.309 --> 00:07:28.911
- In 1 corinthians 7 like, what about widows
- 00:07:28.978 --> 00:07:29.812
- What about widows and what about people
- 00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:30.947
- And what about people who have been divorced?
- 00:07:31.013 --> 00:07:31.747
- Who have been divorced? and okay, if you choose to be
- 00:07:31.814 --> 00:07:33.749
- And okay, if you choose to be celibate is that okay?
- 00:07:33.816 --> 00:07:35.017
- Celibate is that okay? are people who chose to be
- 00:07:35.084 --> 00:07:37.086
- Are people who chose to be single more spiritual than
- 00:07:37.153 --> 00:07:38.354
- Single more spiritual than people who chose to be married?
- 00:07:38.421 --> 00:07:39.655
- And on and on.
- 00:07:39.755 --> 00:07:40.890
- And on and on. and, he's about to answer their
- 00:07:40.957 --> 00:07:41.958
- And, he's about to answer their questions but i wanna point out
- 00:07:42.024 --> 00:07:43.292
- Questions but i wanna point out the fact that it's been
- 00:07:43.359 --> 00:07:45.394
- The fact that it's been six chapters and he's just
- 00:07:45.461 --> 00:07:47.096
- Six chapters and he's just now getting around
- 00:07:47.163 --> 00:07:48.130
- Now getting around to answering their questions.
- 00:07:48.197 --> 00:07:50.433
- To answering their questions. here's why, because often
- 00:07:50.500 --> 00:07:51.934
- Here's why, because often there's a difference between
- 00:07:52.001 --> 00:07:53.202
- There's a difference between the questions that we ask
- 00:07:53.269 --> 00:07:54.403
- The questions that we ask and the real issues
- 00:07:54.470 --> 00:07:55.471
- And the real issues that we're dealing with,
- 00:07:55.538 --> 00:07:57.773
- That we're dealing with, and god is not nearly
- 00:07:57.840 --> 00:07:58.908
- As concerned with answering
- 00:07:59.008 --> 00:08:00.109
- As concerned with answering our questions as he is with
- 00:08:00.176 --> 00:08:01.777
- Our questions as he is with dealing with our real issues.
- 00:08:01.844 --> 00:08:05.481
- Dealing with our real issues. and so, paul,
- 00:08:05.548 --> 00:08:06.516
- And so, paul, paul does something really,
- 00:08:06.582 --> 00:08:07.683
- Paul does something really, really unique, he goes through
- 00:08:07.750 --> 00:08:09.118
- Really unique, he goes through six chapters where he doesn't
- 00:08:09.185 --> 00:08:11.087
- Six chapters where he doesn't even mention their questions
- 00:08:11.153 --> 00:08:14.323
- Even mention their questions and he tells them the answers
- 00:08:14.390 --> 00:08:16.526
- And he tells them the answers to the questions that
- 00:08:16.592 --> 00:08:17.293
- To the questions that they should be asking.
- 00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:18.528
- They should be asking. like, check this out,
- 00:08:18.594 --> 00:08:19.295
- Like, check this out, in chapter five,
- 00:08:19.362 --> 00:08:20.963
- 1 corinthians 5,
- 00:08:21.063 --> 00:08:22.231
- 1 corinthians 5, here's one, he says,
- 00:08:22.298 --> 00:08:23.299
- Here's one, he says, "hey, it's actually reported,
- 00:08:23.366 --> 00:08:25.167
- "hey, it's actually reported, like i heard this report,
- 00:08:25.234 --> 00:08:26.702
- Like i heard this report, that there is sexual immorality
- 00:08:26.769 --> 00:08:27.870
- That there is sexual immorality among you and of a kind
- 00:08:27.937 --> 00:08:29.405
- Among you and of a kind that not even pagans
- 00:08:29.472 --> 00:08:30.673
- That not even pagans will put up with.
- 00:08:30.740 --> 00:08:31.607
- Will put up with. like, people who don't even
- 00:08:31.674 --> 00:08:32.341
- Like, people who don't even know god don't do this.
- 00:08:32.408 --> 00:08:33.743
- Know god don't do this. you've got a man in your church
- 00:08:33.809 --> 00:08:35.077
- You've got a man in your church who's sleeping with
- 00:08:35.144 --> 00:08:35.811
- Who's sleeping with his father's wife."
- 00:08:35.878 --> 00:08:37.980
- His father's wife." so, paul addresses that
- 00:08:38.047 --> 00:08:38.915
- So, paul addresses that issue in chapter five.
- 00:08:38.981 --> 00:08:41.250
- Issue in chapter five. then in chapter six,
- 00:08:41.317 --> 00:08:43.019
- Then in chapter six, he gets to another issue,
- 00:08:43.085 --> 00:08:44.453
- He gets to another issue, he says,
- 00:08:44.520 --> 00:08:45.087
- He says, "hey, do you not know
- 00:08:45.154 --> 00:08:46.222
- "hey, do you not know that your bodies are members
- 00:08:46.289 --> 00:08:47.423
- That your bodies are members of christ themselves?
- 00:08:47.490 --> 00:08:48.424
- Of christ themselves? shall i then take
- 00:08:48.491 --> 00:08:49.058
- Shall i then take the members of christ
- 00:08:49.125 --> 00:08:49.959
- The members of christ and unite them
- 00:08:50.026 --> 00:08:50.860
- And unite them with a prostitute?"
- 00:08:50.927 --> 00:08:51.594
- With a prostitute?" so, there's widespread
- 00:08:51.661 --> 00:08:52.862
- So, there's widespread prostitution rings in corinth
- 00:08:52.929 --> 00:08:55.765
- And paul finds out that some
- 00:08:55.865 --> 00:08:56.899
- And paul finds out that some of the church members are going
- 00:08:56.966 --> 00:08:58.935
- Of the church members are going and doing this on the side.
- 00:08:59.001 --> 00:09:00.803
- And doing this on the side. now, they didn't put that
- 00:09:00.870 --> 00:09:01.737
- Now, they didn't put that in their list of questions
- 00:09:01.804 --> 00:09:02.905
- In their list of questions that they sent to paul,
- 00:09:02.972 --> 00:09:04.206
- That they sent to paul, but paul knew about it.
- 00:09:04.273 --> 00:09:06.008
- But paul knew about it. so, he spends the first
- 00:09:06.075 --> 00:09:07.009
- So, he spends the first six chapters saying, like,
- 00:09:07.076 --> 00:09:08.377
- Six chapters saying, like, "hey, i know there's incest
- 00:09:08.444 --> 00:09:10.012
- "hey, i know there's incest in the church, stop that!
- 00:09:10.079 --> 00:09:13.716
- In the church, stop that! hey, i heard some of you are
- 00:09:13.783 --> 00:09:14.951
- Hey, i heard some of you are going to hookers, cut it out!
- 00:09:15.017 --> 00:09:18.020
- Going to hookers, cut it out! now, for the questions
- 00:09:18.087 --> 00:09:19.722
- Now, for the questions you wrote to me about."
- 00:09:19.789 --> 00:09:20.823
- [laughter]
- 00:09:21.290 --> 00:09:23.559
- Sometimes the questions that
- 00:09:24.160 --> 00:09:25.394
- Sometimes the questions that we ask are not the questions
- 00:09:25.461 --> 00:09:27.263
- We ask are not the questions that we're really living.
- 00:09:27.330 --> 00:09:29.932
- That we're really living. sometimes the questions that
- 00:09:29.999 --> 00:09:31.467
- Sometimes the questions that we ask don't really indicate
- 00:09:31.534 --> 00:09:34.904
- We ask don't really indicate the depth of the issues
- 00:09:34.971 --> 00:09:35.805
- The depth of the issues that we really face.
- 00:09:35.871 --> 00:09:39.041
- That we really face. we have three children, right,
- 00:09:39.108 --> 00:09:40.710
- We have three children, right, three children.
- 00:09:40.776 --> 00:09:41.944
- Three children. and...
- 00:09:42.011 --> 00:09:42.545
- [laughter]
- 00:09:42.845 --> 00:09:43.112
- Yeah, three children
- 00:09:43.613 --> 00:09:44.847
- Yeah, three children and it will probably
- 00:09:44.914 --> 00:09:45.781
- And it will probably stay right there.
- 00:09:45.848 --> 00:09:48.484
- Stay right there. holly will look
- 00:09:48.551 --> 00:09:49.051
- Holly will look at me many times,
- 00:09:49.118 --> 00:09:49.885
- At me many times, this has happened many times,
- 00:09:49.952 --> 00:09:51.020
- This has happened many times, especially in the last year
- 00:09:51.087 --> 00:09:52.288
- Especially in the last year and she'll ask me a simple
- 00:09:52.355 --> 00:09:53.623
- And she'll ask me a simple question when the kids are
- 00:09:53.689 --> 00:09:54.624
- Question when the kids are perhaps out of hand she'll say,
- 00:09:54.690 --> 00:09:56.726
- Perhaps out of hand she'll say, "do you need me to make you an
- 00:09:56.792 --> 00:09:57.760
- "do you need me to make you an appointment or are you going
- 00:09:57.827 --> 00:09:59.495
- Appointment or are you going to make the appointment?"
- 00:09:59.562 --> 00:10:00.229
- To make the appointment?" in other words...
- 00:10:00.296 --> 00:10:00.630
- [laughter]
- 00:10:00.830 --> 00:10:01.397
- Three is good.
- 00:10:01.797 --> 00:10:02.865
- Three is good. and so, that's where we're at
- 00:10:02.932 --> 00:10:04.667
- And so, that's where we're at in our family planning.
- 00:10:04.734 --> 00:10:05.735
- In our family planning. and so...
- 00:10:05.801 --> 00:10:06.469
- [laughter]
- 00:10:06.902 --> 00:10:07.870
- So...
- 00:10:08.204 --> 00:10:09.538
- So...
- 00:10:09.972 --> 00:10:10.172
- [laughter]
- 00:10:10.806 --> 00:10:11.340
- So, when we had our
- 00:10:11.774 --> 00:10:12.475
- So, when we had our little girl because
- 00:10:12.541 --> 00:10:13.442
- Little girl because our two boys are older
- 00:10:13.509 --> 00:10:14.443
- Our two boys are older and our little girl
- 00:10:14.510 --> 00:10:15.244
- And our little girl is three and everybody
- 00:10:15.311 --> 00:10:16.245
- Is three and everybody would tell me,
- 00:10:16.312 --> 00:10:16.612
- Would tell me, "oh, it's different with girls,
- 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:17.580
- "oh, it's different with girls, it's different with girls,
- 00:10:17.647 --> 00:10:18.280
- It's different with girls, it's different with girls,
- 00:10:18.347 --> 00:10:18.848
- It's different with girls, it's different with girls."
- 00:10:18.914 --> 00:10:20.383
- It's different with girls." i'm sure i do not understand
- 00:10:20.449 --> 00:10:21.484
- I'm sure i do not understand the full extent
- 00:10:21.550 --> 00:10:22.618
- The full extent of that claim yet
- 00:10:22.685 --> 00:10:23.819
- Of that claim yet and i won't for some time.
- 00:10:23.886 --> 00:10:24.920
- And i won't for some time. i did, however, happen to walk
- 00:10:24.987 --> 00:10:26.222
- I did, however, happen to walk by my daughter on the way out
- 00:10:26.288 --> 00:10:27.390
- By my daughter on the way out to preach today and guess
- 00:10:27.456 --> 00:10:28.457
- To preach today and guess what she was doing?
- 00:10:28.524 --> 00:10:29.325
- What she was doing? she was looking at
- 00:10:29.392 --> 00:10:30.559
- She was looking at pictures of wedding dresses
- 00:10:30.626 --> 00:10:32.261
- Pictures of wedding dresses on an iphone.
- 00:10:32.328 --> 00:10:33.462
- On an iphone. she is three.
- 00:10:33.529 --> 00:10:34.730
- She is three. one of our staff members,
- 00:10:34.797 --> 00:10:35.965
- One of our staff members, named caroline,
- 00:10:36.032 --> 00:10:36.932
- Named caroline, who was getting married,
- 00:10:36.999 --> 00:10:37.700
- Who was getting married, was showing my daughter
- 00:10:37.767 --> 00:10:39.235
- Pictures of wedding dresses.
- 00:10:39.335 --> 00:10:40.803
- Pictures of wedding dresses. first, i fired caroline,
- 00:10:40.870 --> 00:10:42.238
- First, i fired caroline, and second i told abby,
- 00:10:42.304 --> 00:10:43.739
- And second i told abby, "put the phone down,
- 00:10:43.806 --> 00:10:44.707
- "put the phone down, step away from the phone,
- 00:10:44.774 --> 00:10:45.941
- Step away from the phone, this is ridiculous."
- 00:10:46.008 --> 00:10:46.976
- This is ridiculous." and that's just one
- 00:10:47.043 --> 00:10:47.543
- And that's just one of the many differences.
- 00:10:47.610 --> 00:10:48.444
- Of the many differences. i've never seen elijah
- 00:10:48.511 --> 00:10:49.578
- I've never seen elijah look at wedding dresses
- 00:10:49.645 --> 00:10:50.746
- Look at wedding dresses on an iphone, never.
- 00:10:50.813 --> 00:10:53.249
- Never.
- 00:10:53.349 --> 00:10:56.285
- Never. but, one of the things
- 00:10:56.352 --> 00:10:57.420
- But, one of the things i have noticed and this is
- 00:10:57.486 --> 00:10:58.921
- I have noticed and this is probably the most evident way
- 00:10:58.988 --> 00:11:00.489
- Probably the most evident way that it is different even
- 00:11:00.556 --> 00:11:01.390
- That it is different even with abby only being three,
- 00:11:01.457 --> 00:11:04.527
- With abby only being three, is not in just the types
- 00:11:04.593 --> 00:11:05.661
- Is not in just the types of things that she wants
- 00:11:05.728 --> 00:11:07.663
- Of things that she wants to talk about but the amount
- 00:11:07.730 --> 00:11:09.265
- To talk about but the amount that she wants to talk about,
- 00:11:09.331 --> 00:11:11.000
- That she wants to talk about, everything, which i thought was
- 00:11:11.067 --> 00:11:13.469
- Everything, which i thought was a trait unique to holly.
- 00:11:13.536 --> 00:11:14.704
- A trait unique to holly. you know, it shocked me when
- 00:11:14.770 --> 00:11:16.172
- You know, it shocked me when we first got married and i have
- 00:11:16.238 --> 00:11:18.574
- We first got married and i have a very blessed marriage, okay?
- 00:11:18.641 --> 00:11:20.076
- A very blessed marriage, okay? and i don't mind sharing
- 00:11:20.142 --> 00:11:20.876
- And i don't mind sharing with you about how
- 00:11:20.943 --> 00:11:21.977
- With you about how our marriage is blessed.
- 00:11:22.044 --> 00:11:24.080
- Our marriage is blessed. when i used to do
- 00:11:24.146 --> 00:11:24.780
- When i used to do a relationship series,
- 00:11:24.847 --> 00:11:25.815
- A relationship series, i would start with a preface,
- 00:11:25.881 --> 00:11:27.416
- I would start with a preface, "hey, you know, we've only
- 00:11:27.483 --> 00:11:28.317
- "hey, you know, we've only been married for a couple
- 00:11:28.384 --> 00:11:29.585
- Been married for a couple of years and i know as many
- 00:11:29.652 --> 00:11:31.087
- Of years and i know as many of you have been
- 00:11:31.153 --> 00:11:32.021
- Of you have been married a lot longer
- 00:11:32.088 --> 00:11:32.588
- Married a lot longer and i don't have a right
- 00:11:32.655 --> 00:11:33.355
- And i don't have a right to tell you about marriage."
- 00:11:33.422 --> 00:11:34.824
- To tell you about marriage." but i realized in this series,
- 00:11:34.890 --> 00:11:36.492
- But i realized in this series, i've been married 12 years
- 00:11:36.559 --> 00:11:37.526
- I've been married 12 years now and --
- 00:11:37.593 --> 00:11:38.894
- [cheering and applause]
- 00:11:39.261 --> 00:11:40.529
- That's --
- 00:11:40.863 --> 00:11:41.297
- [applause]
- 00:11:41.664 --> 00:11:42.031
- I think that's long enough,
- 00:11:42.431 --> 00:11:43.733
- I think that's long enough, i'm out of, i'm out of,
- 00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:45.034
- I'm out of, i'm out of, i'm out of rookie camp.
- 00:11:45.101 --> 00:11:47.036
- [laughter]
- 00:11:47.470 --> 00:11:48.137
- Like we've been through
- 00:11:48.504 --> 00:11:49.004
- Like we've been through some things together now.
- 00:11:49.071 --> 00:11:50.573
- Some things together now. we've weathered a few seasons
- 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.007
- We've weathered a few seasons together now and yes,
- 00:11:52.074 --> 00:11:53.175
- Together now and yes, they are many
- 00:11:53.242 --> 00:11:54.276
- They are many who've been married much
- 00:11:54.343 --> 00:11:55.211
- Who've been married much longer and i probably will not
- 00:11:55.277 --> 00:11:57.046
- Longer and i probably will not write a parenting book yet
- 00:11:57.113 --> 00:11:58.414
- Write a parenting book yet until i have, you know,
- 00:11:58.481 --> 00:11:59.515
- Until i have, you know, successfully shepherded
- 00:11:59.582 --> 00:12:00.750
- Successfully shepherded my children through
- 00:12:00.816 --> 00:12:01.617
- My children through their teenage years without
- 00:12:01.684 --> 00:12:02.651
- Their teenage years without homicide occurring in our home.
- 00:12:02.718 --> 00:12:05.888
- Homicide occurring in our home. but, i do think i don't
- 00:12:05.955 --> 00:12:06.655
- But, i do think i don't have to get up and, like,
- 00:12:06.722 --> 00:12:08.691
- Have to get up and, like, apologize anymore.
- 00:12:08.758 --> 00:12:09.592
- Apologize anymore. like, we have a marriage
- 00:12:09.658 --> 00:12:10.726
- Like, we have a marriage and i have some things
- 00:12:10.793 --> 00:12:11.727
- And i have some things to say about marriage.
- 00:12:11.794 --> 00:12:12.595
- To say about marriage. we have a blessed marriage
- 00:12:12.661 --> 00:12:14.063
- We have a blessed marriage and we're in ministry together
- 00:12:14.130 --> 00:12:15.231
- And we're in ministry together and we love each other and hey,
- 00:12:15.297 --> 00:12:17.099
- And we love each other and hey, it's not perfect.
- 00:12:17.166 --> 00:12:19.335
- It's not perfect. it's not.
- 00:12:19.401 --> 00:12:19.835
- It's not. it's not perfect
- 00:12:19.902 --> 00:12:20.669
- It's not perfect but it's blessed.
- 00:12:20.736 --> 00:12:22.471
- But it's blessed. it's a blessed marriage
- 00:12:22.538 --> 00:12:23.272
- It's a blessed marriage and there's a difference.
- 00:12:23.339 --> 00:12:24.173
- And there's a difference. there is no perfect marriage
- 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:25.541
- There is no perfect marriage but there is a blessed marriage
- 00:12:25.608 --> 00:12:26.542
- But there is a blessed marriage and we have a blessed
- 00:12:26.609 --> 00:12:28.177
- And we have a blessed marriage man,
- 00:12:28.244 --> 00:12:28.878
- Marriage man, it's true and i want you
- 00:12:28.944 --> 00:12:29.812
- It's true and i want you to know that because
- 00:12:29.879 --> 00:12:30.713
- To know that because you wouldn't walk in a gym
- 00:12:30.780 --> 00:12:31.981
- You wouldn't walk in a gym and hire a trainer who was
- 00:12:32.047 --> 00:12:33.215
- And hire a trainer who was fatter than you are.
- 00:12:33.282 --> 00:12:34.550
- [laughter]
- 00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:36.252
- Is that inappropriate
- 00:12:36.886 --> 00:12:37.753
- Is that inappropriate to say?
- 00:12:37.820 --> 00:12:38.254
- [laughter]
- 00:12:38.687 --> 00:12:40.156
- I just kinda thought
- 00:12:40.523 --> 00:12:40.990
- I just kinda thought it was instinctive, like,
- 00:12:41.056 --> 00:12:42.091
- It was instinctive, like, i don't look for the guy
- 00:12:42.158 --> 00:12:43.459
- I don't look for the guy who doesn't look better
- 00:12:43.526 --> 00:12:44.193
- Who doesn't look better than me and ask him
- 00:12:44.260 --> 00:12:44.927
- Than me and ask him to help me sculpt my body.
- 00:12:44.994 --> 00:12:46.529
- To help me sculpt my body. so, you don't want a preacher
- 00:12:46.595 --> 00:12:48.063
- So, you don't want a preacher with a jacked up marriage.
- 00:12:48.130 --> 00:12:49.465
- With a jacked up marriage. and i'm just saying, like,
- 00:12:49.532 --> 00:12:50.299
- And i'm just saying, like, we have struggles,
- 00:12:50.366 --> 00:12:51.233
- We have struggles, we have issues
- 00:12:51.300 --> 00:12:51.834
- We have issues but we love each other
- 00:12:51.901 --> 00:12:52.768
- But we love each other and our family's in church
- 00:12:52.835 --> 00:12:53.903
- And our family's in church and so anyway,
- 00:12:53.969 --> 00:12:55.437
- And so anyway, with that being said...
- 00:12:55.504 --> 00:12:56.505
- [applause]
- 00:12:56.906 --> 00:12:58.407
- One of the things
- 00:12:58.741 --> 00:12:59.175
- One of the things that i found very difficult
- 00:12:59.241 --> 00:13:00.109
- That i found very difficult in our marriage is that
- 00:13:00.176 --> 00:13:02.244
- In our marriage is that when i ask holly a question,
- 00:13:02.311 --> 00:13:03.879
- When i ask holly a question, she not only answers
- 00:13:03.946 --> 00:13:05.681
- She not only answers that question,
- 00:13:05.748 --> 00:13:07.750
- That question, but i found
- 00:13:07.817 --> 00:13:08.517
- But i found that she will answer
- 00:13:08.584 --> 00:13:09.418
- That she will answer all of the questions
- 00:13:09.485 --> 00:13:10.920
- All of the questions that she believes
- 00:13:10.986 --> 00:13:12.054
- That she believes i should have asked
- 00:13:12.121 --> 00:13:14.056
- I should have asked before she answers
- 00:13:14.123 --> 00:13:15.057
- Before she answers the questions that i did ask.
- 00:13:15.124 --> 00:13:16.959
- The questions that i did ask. and so, i've had to learn
- 00:13:17.026 --> 00:13:18.060
- And so, i've had to learn to budget my time appropriately
- 00:13:18.127 --> 00:13:20.062
- To budget my time appropriately when i ask her things like,
- 00:13:20.129 --> 00:13:21.463
- When i ask her things like, "how was your day?"
- 00:13:21.530 --> 00:13:22.264
- "how was your day?" or just a simple question like,
- 00:13:22.331 --> 00:13:23.766
- Or just a simple question like, when i say, you know,
- 00:13:23.833 --> 00:13:24.733
- When i say, you know, "how was lunch today?
- 00:13:24.800 --> 00:13:26.435
- "how was lunch today? i know you had lunch today
- 00:13:26.502 --> 00:13:27.336
- I know you had lunch today with nicole,
- 00:13:27.403 --> 00:13:27.970
- With nicole, how was lunch today?"
- 00:13:28.037 --> 00:13:29.071
- How was lunch today?" because she --
- 00:13:29.138 --> 00:13:29.738
- Because she -- when i ask her that,
- 00:13:29.805 --> 00:13:30.606
- When i ask her that, she will answer it but she
- 00:13:30.673 --> 00:13:31.807
- She will answer it but she will not start with lunch,
- 00:13:31.874 --> 00:13:33.142
- Will not start with lunch, she'll start with,
- 00:13:33.209 --> 00:13:34.210
- She'll start with, you know when she woke up
- 00:13:34.276 --> 00:13:35.377
- You know when she woke up 15 minutes late
- 00:13:35.444 --> 00:13:37.213
- 15 minutes late and she was already
- 00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:38.347
- And she was already in a hurry and we had
- 00:13:38.414 --> 00:13:40.316
- In a hurry and we had to get the kids to school.
- 00:13:40.382 --> 00:13:41.250
- To get the kids to school. now the kids have been late
- 00:13:41.317 --> 00:13:42.117
- Now the kids have been late two times and so we don't
- 00:13:42.184 --> 00:13:43.319
- Two times and so we don't want 'em to be late for
- 00:13:43.385 --> 00:13:44.053
- Want 'em to be late for a third time this semester.
- 00:13:44.119 --> 00:13:44.854
- A third time this semester. and so, she got 'em to school.
- 00:13:44.920 --> 00:13:46.355
- And so, she got 'em to school. when she dropped 'em off
- 00:13:46.422 --> 00:13:47.122
- When she dropped 'em off at school she remembered
- 00:13:47.189 --> 00:13:48.090
- At school she remembered that she had that thing
- 00:13:48.157 --> 00:13:49.124
- That she had that thing in the back of her car
- 00:13:49.191 --> 00:13:50.125
- In the back of her car that needed to go back
- 00:13:50.192 --> 00:13:51.060
- To target but then she
- 00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:51.794
- To target but then she realized that she needed
- 00:13:51.861 --> 00:13:52.962
- Realized that she needed more gas in the car.
- 00:13:53.028 --> 00:13:53.996
- More gas in the car. now, the gas is cheaper
- 00:13:54.063 --> 00:13:54.930
- Now, the gas is cheaper at the gas station
- 00:13:54.997 --> 00:13:56.131
- At the gas station on the other side of target
- 00:13:56.198 --> 00:13:57.299
- On the other side of target and so i didn't know
- 00:13:57.366 --> 00:13:58.267
- And so i didn't know if i should wait
- 00:13:58.334 --> 00:13:59.001
- If i should wait but i stopped by target.
- 00:13:59.068 --> 00:14:00.169
- But i stopped by target. while i was in line at target,
- 00:14:00.236 --> 00:14:01.370
- While i was in line at target, i met a lady who said
- 00:14:01.437 --> 00:14:02.271
- I met a lady who said she went to the church
- 00:14:02.338 --> 00:14:03.105
- She went to the church and i couldn't tell
- 00:14:03.172 --> 00:14:04.039
- And i couldn't tell if she comes a lot or if
- 00:14:04.106 --> 00:14:05.274
- She just comes a little bit.
- 00:14:05.374 --> 00:14:06.008
- She just comes a little bit. she was from new jersey and she
- 00:14:06.075 --> 00:14:07.576
- She was from new jersey and she said she just moved to charlotte
- 00:14:07.643 --> 00:14:08.878
- Said she just moved to charlotte and she moved to charlotte
- 00:14:08.944 --> 00:14:09.912
- And she moved to charlotte because her husband's
- 00:14:09.979 --> 00:14:10.579
- Because her husband's in the banking industry
- 00:14:10.646 --> 00:14:11.580
- In the banking industry and she was telling me about
- 00:14:11.647 --> 00:14:12.815
- And she was telling me about how their home in new jersey.
- 00:14:12.882 --> 00:14:14.016
- How their home in new jersey. and i'm going, "wait a minute,
- 00:14:14.083 --> 00:14:14.984
- And i'm going, "wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
- 00:14:15.050 --> 00:14:15.885
- [laughter]
- 00:14:16.218 --> 00:14:16.619
- In this story, you're telling,
- 00:14:17.186 --> 00:14:18.821
- In this story, you're telling, we're only at 8:30...
- 00:14:18.888 --> 00:14:20.289
- [laughter]
- 00:14:20.756 --> 00:14:21.223
- In the morning.
- 00:14:21.757 --> 00:14:22.391
- In the morning. is this gonna be real time?
- 00:14:22.458 --> 00:14:23.993
- Is this gonna be real time? i wanna hear everything
- 00:14:24.059 --> 00:14:24.827
- I wanna hear everything you have to say.
- 00:14:24.894 --> 00:14:25.661
- You have to say. i am so captivated
- 00:14:25.728 --> 00:14:26.729
- I am so captivated by this conversation,
- 00:14:26.795 --> 00:14:27.963
- By this conversation, i just need to know,
- 00:14:28.030 --> 00:14:28.998
- I just need to know, should i cancel my plans
- 00:14:29.064 --> 00:14:29.999
- Should i cancel my plans for the rest of the night?"
- 00:14:30.065 --> 00:14:31.033
- [laughter]
- 00:14:31.367 --> 00:14:32.401
- Come on, somebody.
- 00:14:32.701 --> 00:14:33.035
- [laughter]
- 00:14:33.469 --> 00:14:34.670
- Don't you men
- 00:14:36.605 --> 00:14:37.506
- Don't you men dare leave me up here
- 00:14:37.573 --> 00:14:38.207
- Dare leave me up here by myself on this,
- 00:14:38.274 --> 00:14:38.974
- By myself on this, it's just different.
- 00:14:39.041 --> 00:14:40.876
- It's just different. because, typically a man
- 00:14:40.943 --> 00:14:43.412
- Because, typically a man is going to respond
- 00:14:43.479 --> 00:14:44.480
- Is going to respond to the question,
- 00:14:44.546 --> 00:14:45.381
- To the question, "how was your day?"
- 00:14:45.447 --> 00:14:46.181
- "how was your day?" with one syllable.
- 00:14:46.248 --> 00:14:47.249
- With one syllable. it's monosyllabic.
- 00:14:47.316 --> 00:14:48.417
- It's monosyllabic. it's just one --
- 00:14:48.484 --> 00:14:49.385
- It's just one -- that's all we need.
- 00:14:49.451 --> 00:14:50.419
- That's all we need. we got fine.
- 00:14:50.486 --> 00:14:51.887
- We got fine. we got good,
- 00:14:51.954 --> 00:14:52.621
- We got good, we got great and sometimes
- 00:14:52.688 --> 00:14:54.089
- We got great and sometimes we can just shrug.
- 00:14:54.156 --> 00:14:55.024
- We can just shrug. we don't even have to be
- 00:14:55.090 --> 00:14:55.791
- We don't even have to be bothered with activating
- 00:14:55.858 --> 00:14:57.226
- Bothered with activating our voice box at all.
- 00:14:57.293 --> 00:14:58.227
- Our voice box at all. so, we have this ability
- 00:14:58.294 --> 00:14:59.962
- So, we have this ability to communicate more succinctly.
- 00:15:00.029 --> 00:15:02.531
- To communicate more succinctly. and, i used to think it was just
- 00:15:02.598 --> 00:15:03.933
- And, i used to think it was just holly until the other day,
- 00:15:03.999 --> 00:15:05.434
- Holly until the other day, i asked abby,
- 00:15:05.501 --> 00:15:07.002
- I asked abby, "what's your
- 00:15:07.069 --> 00:15:07.670
- "what's your favorite thing to do, abby?"
- 00:15:07.736 --> 00:15:09.104
- Favorite thing to do, abby?" and she said, "well, i like
- 00:15:09.171 --> 00:15:10.072
- And she said, "well, i like to go to the pool,
- 00:15:10.139 --> 00:15:11.140
- To go to the pool, but this one time, bubba."
- 00:15:11.206 --> 00:15:12.474
- But this one time, bubba." i said, "oh, god,
- 00:15:12.541 --> 00:15:13.142
- I said, "oh, god, she's got the disease,
- 00:15:13.208 --> 00:15:14.843
- She's got the disease, i mean the gift.
- 00:15:14.910 --> 00:15:15.344
- I mean the gift. she's got the gift, too.
- 00:15:15.411 --> 00:15:16.745
- She's got the gift, too. she's got the genetic
- 00:15:16.812 --> 00:15:17.613
- She's got the genetic generational blessing
- 00:15:17.680 --> 00:15:19.648
- Generational blessing too of elaboration."
- 00:15:19.715 --> 00:15:21.617
- Too of elaboration." and so, in 1 corinthians 7,
- 00:15:21.684 --> 00:15:23.852
- And so, in 1 corinthians 7, the apostle paul is acting
- 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:25.287
- The apostle paul is acting like a woman, y'all.
- 00:15:25.354 --> 00:15:26.822
- [laughter]
- 00:15:27.256 --> 00:15:28.123
- The corinthians wanna know,
- 00:15:28.457 --> 00:15:29.925
- The corinthians wanna know, "hey, like is it okay
- 00:15:29.992 --> 00:15:30.826
- "hey, like is it okay to be single?
- 00:15:30.893 --> 00:15:31.860
- To be single? what should we do about widows?"
- 00:15:31.927 --> 00:15:32.895
- What should we do about widows?" and they ask him this sanitized
- 00:15:32.962 --> 00:15:34.697
- And they ask him this sanitized list of questions and he takes
- 00:15:34.763 --> 00:15:37.666
- List of questions and he takes six chapters to deal with
- 00:15:37.733 --> 00:15:40.369
- Six chapters to deal with their real issues before
- 00:15:40.436 --> 00:15:43.172
- Their real issues before he will answer the questions.
- 00:15:43.238 --> 00:15:45.207
- He will answer the questions. now, it's very possible that
- 00:15:45.274 --> 00:15:47.142
- Now, it's very possible that you came to church today
- 00:15:47.209 --> 00:15:48.610
- You came to church today with questions about
- 00:15:48.677 --> 00:15:50.746
- With questions about your relationships,
- 00:15:50.813 --> 00:15:51.680
- Your relationships, valid questions about
- 00:15:51.747 --> 00:15:53.015
- Valid questions about your relationships like,
- 00:15:53.082 --> 00:15:54.283
- Your relationships like, "how will i know
- 00:15:54.350 --> 00:15:54.883
- "how will i know when he's the one,
- 00:15:54.950 --> 00:15:55.584
- When he's the one, and how will i know
- 00:15:55.651 --> 00:15:56.352
- And how will i know when the time is right,
- 00:15:56.418 --> 00:15:57.086
- When the time is right, and how will i find
- 00:15:57.152 --> 00:15:57.987
- And how will i find the right one?"
- 00:15:58.053 --> 00:15:58.587
- The right one?" but, perhaps the question
- 00:15:58.654 --> 00:16:00.189
- But, perhaps the question you're asking is not
- 00:16:00.255 --> 00:16:01.857
- You're asking is not the real issue that
- 00:16:01.924 --> 00:16:03.525
- The real issue that you need to be dealing with,
- 00:16:03.592 --> 00:16:04.460
- You need to be dealing with, perhaps there's an issue
- 00:16:04.526 --> 00:16:06.128
- Perhaps there's an issue that's more important
- 00:16:06.195 --> 00:16:07.763
- That's more important than the question.
- 00:16:07.830 --> 00:16:08.364
- Than the question. and perhaps before god
- 00:16:08.430 --> 00:16:10.866
- And perhaps before god gives you some specific answers
- 00:16:10.933 --> 00:16:12.701
- Gives you some specific answers to your questions,
- 00:16:12.768 --> 00:16:14.536
- To your questions, he wants to give you
- 00:16:14.603 --> 00:16:15.170
- He wants to give you some healing for some of your
- 00:16:15.237 --> 00:16:16.972
- Some healing for some of your issues and some instructions
- 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:19.241
- Issues and some instructions for some of your issues.
- 00:16:19.308 --> 00:16:20.509
- [applause]
- 00:16:20.876 --> 00:16:21.744
- See, before you find
- 00:16:22.478 --> 00:16:23.512
- See, before you find the right one and mess up
- 00:16:23.579 --> 00:16:24.913
- The right one and mess up the right one,
- 00:16:24.980 --> 00:16:26.215
- The right one, because you're not yet
- 00:16:26.281 --> 00:16:27.049
- Because you're not yet the right one because you've
- 00:16:27.116 --> 00:16:28.183
- The right one because you've got issues that are undealt with
- 00:16:28.250 --> 00:16:30.152
- Got issues that are undealt with and you're looking
- 00:16:30.219 --> 00:16:31.053
- And you're looking for somebody for security,
- 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:32.521
- For somebody for security, and before you reach out
- 00:16:32.588 --> 00:16:33.722
- And before you reach out and try to put
- 00:16:33.789 --> 00:16:34.256
- And try to put the weight of your life
- 00:16:34.323 --> 00:16:35.357
- The weight of your life and the expectation
- 00:16:35.424 --> 00:16:36.392
- And the expectation of your happiness
- 00:16:36.458 --> 00:16:37.493
- Of your happiness on another person,
- 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:38.460
- On another person, perhaps god wants
- 00:16:38.527 --> 00:16:39.928
- Perhaps god wants to teach you some sufficiency
- 00:16:39.995 --> 00:16:41.196
- To teach you some sufficiency inside of yourself
- 00:16:41.263 --> 00:16:42.631
- Inside of yourself in christ so that when
- 00:16:42.698 --> 00:16:44.400
- In christ so that when you do meet somebody,
- 00:16:44.466 --> 00:16:45.601
- You do meet somebody, you won't project
- 00:16:45.667 --> 00:16:46.735
- You won't project all of your dysfunction
- 00:16:46.802 --> 00:16:48.037
- All of your dysfunction on that relationship.
- 00:16:48.103 --> 00:16:49.271
- On that relationship. 'cause you can turn
- 00:16:49.338 --> 00:16:50.039
- 'cause you can turn the right one into
- 00:16:50.105 --> 00:16:50.839
- The right one into the wrong one if you
- 00:16:50.906 --> 00:16:52.307
- The wrong one if you don't deal with your issues.
- 00:16:52.374 --> 00:16:54.209
- [applause]
- 00:16:54.610 --> 00:16:56.211
- Touch three people,
- 00:16:56.845 --> 00:16:57.579
- Touch three people, tell 'em, "we got issues."
- 00:16:57.646 --> 00:16:59.148
- Tell 'em, "we got issues." >> congregation: we got issues.
- 00:16:59.214 --> 00:17:01.650
- >> congregation: we got issues. >> we do.
- 00:17:01.717 --> 00:17:03.118
- >> we do. we do.
- 00:17:03.185 --> 00:17:03.786
- We do. the church at corinth was crazy.
- 00:17:03.852 --> 00:17:07.523
- The church at corinth was crazy. prostitutes and incest,
- 00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:08.991
- Prostitutes and incest, and rampant misunderstandings
- 00:17:09.058 --> 00:17:13.328
- And rampant misunderstandings of marriage.
- 00:17:13.395 --> 00:17:14.830
- This church of new christians
- 00:17:14.930 --> 00:17:17.900
- This church of new christians who were living
- 00:17:17.966 --> 00:17:19.234
- Who were living under roman rule,
- 00:17:19.301 --> 00:17:20.836
- Under roman rule, trying to figure out
- 00:17:20.903 --> 00:17:21.770
- Trying to figure out how to do it god's way in
- 00:17:21.837 --> 00:17:23.439
- How to do it god's way in a culture that was ungodly.
- 00:17:23.505 --> 00:17:26.075
- A culture that was ungodly. and paul says, "let's talk about
- 00:17:26.141 --> 00:17:27.943
- And paul says, "let's talk about the real issues."
- 00:17:28.010 --> 00:17:28.544
- The real issues." now, historically the church
- 00:17:28.610 --> 00:17:29.778
- Has been really good
- 00:17:29.878 --> 00:17:30.646
- Has been really good at answering questions
- 00:17:30.712 --> 00:17:31.847
- At answering questions that nobody is asking,
- 00:17:31.914 --> 00:17:37.019
- That nobody is asking, while being silent
- 00:17:37.086 --> 00:17:37.719
- While being silent about the struggles
- 00:17:37.786 --> 00:17:38.520
- About the struggles that everybody is facing.
- 00:17:38.587 --> 00:17:42.324
- That everybody is facing. so, we put charts on the wall
- 00:17:42.391 --> 00:17:43.859
- So, we put charts on the wall about when jesus is coming back
- 00:17:43.926 --> 00:17:46.028
- About when jesus is coming back even though he said nobody knew
- 00:17:46.095 --> 00:17:47.529
- Even though he said nobody knew 'cause he's coming like
- 00:17:47.596 --> 00:17:48.697
- 'cause he's coming like a thief in the night.
- 00:17:48.764 --> 00:17:49.398
- A thief in the night. meanwhile, we got
- 00:17:49.465 --> 00:17:50.132
- Meanwhile, we got middle schoolers having
- 00:17:50.199 --> 00:17:51.200
- Middle schoolers having oral sex on the back
- 00:17:51.266 --> 00:17:52.101
- Oral sex on the back of the school bus
- 00:17:52.167 --> 00:17:52.868
- Of the school bus and nobody's standing up
- 00:17:52.935 --> 00:17:54.269
- And nobody's standing up and saying anything
- 00:17:54.336 --> 00:17:55.337
- And saying anything about real issues.
- 00:17:55.404 --> 00:17:56.805
- [applause]
- 00:17:57.139 --> 00:17:59.475
- And we got christians
- 00:17:59.975 --> 00:18:00.843
- And we got christians miserable in their marriages
- 00:18:00.909 --> 00:18:02.044
- Miserable in their marriages and just looking for a way out
- 00:18:02.111 --> 00:18:03.545
- And just looking for a way out and married people wishing
- 00:18:03.612 --> 00:18:04.880
- And married people wishing they were single again,
- 00:18:04.947 --> 00:18:05.814
- They were single again, and single people
- 00:18:05.881 --> 00:18:06.915
- And single people trying all the wrong stuff on
- 00:18:06.982 --> 00:18:08.183
- Trying all the wrong stuff on before the find the right one
- 00:18:08.250 --> 00:18:09.384
- Before the find the right one and nobody's saying anything.
- 00:18:09.451 --> 00:18:11.086
- And nobody's saying anything. we got people dealing with
- 00:18:11.153 --> 00:18:12.588
- We got people dealing with issues of sexual abuse
- 00:18:12.654 --> 00:18:15.124
- Issues of sexual abuse and they can't --
- 00:18:15.190 --> 00:18:15.757
- And they can't -- they can't engage
- 00:18:15.824 --> 00:18:16.825
- They can't engage in a loving relationship
- 00:18:16.892 --> 00:18:17.893
- In a loving relationship in a healthy way because
- 00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:19.261
- In a healthy way because nobody's talking about issues.
- 00:18:19.328 --> 00:18:22.064
- Nobody's talking about issues. oh, we got tips, we got tricks,
- 00:18:22.131 --> 00:18:24.032
- Oh, we got tips, we got tricks, but we don't deal with
- 00:18:24.099 --> 00:18:27.369
- But we don't deal with the real issues.
- 00:18:27.436 --> 00:18:29.605
- The real issues. i wanna take five weeks with you
- 00:18:29.671 --> 00:18:31.140
- I wanna take five weeks with you and have conversations
- 00:18:31.206 --> 00:18:32.141
- And have conversations about real issues,
- 00:18:32.207 --> 00:18:34.977
- About real issues, because some of you
- 00:18:35.043 --> 00:18:35.477
- Because some of you the questions that
- 00:18:35.544 --> 00:18:36.578
- The questions that you're asking are not
- 00:18:36.645 --> 00:18:37.880
- You're asking are not indicative of the real issues
- 00:18:37.946 --> 00:18:39.548
- Indicative of the real issues that you're dealing with,
- 00:18:39.615 --> 00:18:42.117
- That you're dealing with, the issues that you don't
- 00:18:42.184 --> 00:18:42.918
- The issues that you don't even know how to talk about.
- 00:18:42.985 --> 00:18:46.221
- Even know how to talk about. i got teenagers in my church
- 00:18:46.288 --> 00:18:49.124
- I got teenagers in my church trying to figure out
- 00:18:49.191 --> 00:18:51.860
- Trying to figure out how they can deal with
- 00:18:51.927 --> 00:18:52.961
- How they can deal with their sexual conflict
- 00:18:53.028 --> 00:18:55.531
- Their sexual conflict knowing that if they admitted
- 00:18:55.597 --> 00:18:56.798
- Knowing that if they admitted to their friends what they're
- 00:18:56.865 --> 00:18:58.133
- To their friends what they're really thinking about inside,
- 00:18:58.200 --> 00:18:59.368
- Really thinking about inside, they wouldn't have
- 00:18:59.434 --> 00:19:00.002
- They wouldn't have any friends anymore,
- 00:19:00.068 --> 00:19:01.270
- Any friends anymore, and some of them
- 00:19:01.336 --> 00:19:01.870
- And some of them are considering suicide
- 00:19:01.937 --> 00:19:03.005
- Are considering suicide because they can't find anywhere
- 00:19:03.071 --> 00:19:04.540
- Because they can't find anywhere to talk about their issues.
- 00:19:04.606 --> 00:19:07.409
- To talk about their issues. and i'm supposed to stand up
- 00:19:07.476 --> 00:19:08.210
- And i'm supposed to stand up here and just talk about
- 00:19:08.277 --> 00:19:09.244
- Here and just talk about the book of revelation?
- 00:19:09.311 --> 00:19:12.314
- The book of revelation? answering questions that
- 00:19:12.381 --> 00:19:13.582
- Answering questions that nobody's asking while people
- 00:19:13.649 --> 00:19:14.816
- Nobody's asking while people are dying of issues?
- 00:19:14.883 --> 00:19:16.418
- Are dying of issues? i got couples that came
- 00:19:16.485 --> 00:19:17.686
- I got couples that came to church this morning smiling
- 00:19:17.753 --> 00:19:19.354
- To church this morning smiling knowing good and well
- 00:19:19.421 --> 00:19:20.222
- Knowing good and well you're trying to figure out
- 00:19:20.289 --> 00:19:21.056
- You're trying to figure out which divorce lawyer
- 00:19:21.123 --> 00:19:22.257
- Which divorce lawyer 'cause you've got issues.
- 00:19:22.324 --> 00:19:26.195
- 'cause you've got issues. already making your escape plan
- 00:19:26.261 --> 00:19:27.296
- Already making your escape plan but came to church praising
- 00:19:27.362 --> 00:19:28.697
- But came to church praising the lord and it's the only time
- 00:19:28.764 --> 00:19:30.799
- The lord and it's the only time you smile all week
- 00:19:30.866 --> 00:19:31.733
- You smile all week is when you're around
- 00:19:31.800 --> 00:19:32.434
- Is when you're around other people 'cause
- 00:19:32.501 --> 00:19:33.335
- Other people 'cause you've got issues.
- 00:19:33.402 --> 00:19:34.536
- You've got issues. so, i'm supposed to stand up
- 00:19:34.603 --> 00:19:35.604
- So, i'm supposed to stand up here and just pontificate about
- 00:19:35.671 --> 00:19:37.639
- Here and just pontificate about crap that nobody's really
- 00:19:37.706 --> 00:19:38.874
- Crap that nobody's really thinking about,
- 00:19:38.941 --> 00:19:40.342
- Thinking about, making it sound spiritual
- 00:19:40.409 --> 00:19:42.010
- Making it sound spiritual while our marriages look
- 00:19:42.077 --> 00:19:44.079
- While our marriages look no different than the world?
- 00:19:44.146 --> 00:19:45.681
- No different than the world? and paul says, "i wanna speak
- 00:19:45.747 --> 00:19:46.982
- And paul says, "i wanna speak to you about real issues."
- 00:19:47.049 --> 00:19:50.652
- To you about real issues." and he says,
- 00:19:50.719 --> 00:19:51.053
- And he says, "now, that we've talked
- 00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:52.120
- "now, that we've talked about the real stuff,
- 00:19:52.187 --> 00:19:55.757
- About the real stuff, i'll deal with your question."
- 00:19:55.824 --> 00:19:57.826
- I'll deal with your question." and here's a question
- 00:19:57.893 --> 00:19:58.493
- And here's a question somebody had posed to paul,
- 00:19:58.560 --> 00:19:59.628
- Somebody had posed to paul, they asked him, they said,
- 00:19:59.695 --> 00:20:01.630
- They asked him, they said, "is it okay if we wanna not get
- 00:20:01.697 --> 00:20:03.732
- "is it okay if we wanna not get married and we wanna make
- 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:05.000
- Married and we wanna make a decision to be single?
- 00:20:05.067 --> 00:20:07.202
- A decision to be single? is that okay?"
- 00:20:07.269 --> 00:20:07.970
- Is that okay?" and paul says in verse 1,
- 00:20:08.036 --> 00:20:09.137
- "yeah, that's fine.
- 00:20:09.238 --> 00:20:10.973
- "yeah, that's fine. okay, now about
- 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:12.040
- Okay, now about the questions you asked."
- 00:20:12.107 --> 00:20:12.774
- The questions you asked." look at this,
- 00:20:12.841 --> 00:20:13.175
- Look at this, "it's good for a man
- 00:20:13.242 --> 00:20:15.377
- "it's good for a man not to have sexual relations
- 00:20:15.444 --> 00:20:16.912
- Not to have sexual relations with a woman.
- 00:20:16.979 --> 00:20:18.614
- With a woman. that's fine."
- 00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:20.482
- And paul's not saying
- 00:20:20.582 --> 00:20:21.016
- And paul's not saying you're better or you're worse.
- 00:20:21.083 --> 00:20:22.017
- You're better or you're worse. he's just saying that's fine.
- 00:20:22.084 --> 00:20:24.319
- He's just saying that's fine. he saying, like in different
- 00:20:24.386 --> 00:20:25.420
- He saying, like in different seasons of our lives,
- 00:20:25.487 --> 00:20:26.188
- Seasons of our lives, we'll all have
- 00:20:26.255 --> 00:20:27.422
- We'll all have different callings that
- 00:20:27.489 --> 00:20:29.691
- Different callings that we'll experience and it's good.
- 00:20:29.758 --> 00:20:32.261
- We'll experience and it's good. you know, one of the things
- 00:20:32.327 --> 00:20:33.228
- You know, one of the things i refuse to do in this series
- 00:20:33.295 --> 00:20:34.429
- I refuse to do in this series is to make single people
- 00:20:34.496 --> 00:20:35.530
- Feel second class.
- 00:20:35.631 --> 00:20:40.202
- Feel second class. to make single people
- 00:20:40.269 --> 00:20:40.836
- To make single people feel like, you know, like,
- 00:20:40.902 --> 00:20:42.604
- Feel like, you know, like, now this is for
- 00:20:42.671 --> 00:20:43.538
- Now this is for the big boys and girls.
- 00:20:43.605 --> 00:20:44.606
- The big boys and girls. we got a little table
- 00:20:44.673 --> 00:20:45.440
- We got a little table for you over here.
- 00:20:45.507 --> 00:20:46.275
- For you over here. happy thanksgiving, kids.
- 00:20:46.341 --> 00:20:49.211
- Happy thanksgiving, kids. here's some hawaiian punch.
- 00:20:49.278 --> 00:20:49.945
- Here's some hawaiian punch. no, i'm not doing that.
- 00:20:50.012 --> 00:20:52.247
- No, i'm not doing that. i'm not gonna do that.
- 00:20:52.314 --> 00:20:54.316
- I'm not gonna do that. there is a verse,
- 00:20:54.383 --> 00:20:55.651
- There is a verse, there is a verse,
- 00:20:55.717 --> 00:20:57.352
- And this is a verse that
- 00:20:57.452 --> 00:20:58.020
- And this is a verse that single people really love
- 00:20:58.086 --> 00:20:59.388
- Single people really love in genesis 2:18 where god
- 00:20:59.454 --> 00:21:02.224
- Tells adam after he makes adam,
- 00:21:02.324 --> 00:21:04.526
- Tells adam after he makes adam, he says, "it's not good
- 00:21:04.593 --> 00:21:05.961
- He says, "it's not good for the man to be alone.
- 00:21:06.028 --> 00:21:08.597
- For the man to be alone. i'll make him a helper
- 00:21:08.664 --> 00:21:09.231
- I'll make him a helper suitable for him."
- 00:21:09.298 --> 00:21:11.366
- He says it's not good
- 00:21:11.466 --> 00:21:12.067
- He says it's not good for a man to be alone.
- 00:21:12.134 --> 00:21:12.834
- For a man to be alone. now, a lot of people have taken
- 00:21:12.901 --> 00:21:14.069
- Now, a lot of people have taken that verse to mean that
- 00:21:14.136 --> 00:21:15.037
- That verse to mean that if you're not married,
- 00:21:15.103 --> 00:21:16.038
- If you're not married, then you're alone
- 00:21:16.104 --> 00:21:16.705
- Then you're alone but that's not true at all.
- 00:21:16.772 --> 00:21:19.775
- But that's not true at all. you can be single and you can be
- 00:21:19.841 --> 00:21:22.110
- You can be single and you can be unmarried and still be complete.
- 00:21:22.177 --> 00:21:26.581
- Unmarried and still be complete. you can be single and not be
- 00:21:26.648 --> 00:21:28.684
- You can be single and not be married and still not be alone.
- 00:21:28.750 --> 00:21:31.353
- Married and still not be alone. you can have a church family,
- 00:21:31.420 --> 00:21:33.488
- You can have a church family, you can have deeper friendships,
- 00:21:33.555 --> 00:21:36.124
- You can have deeper friendships, you can have opportunities
- 00:21:36.191 --> 00:21:37.259
- You can have opportunities that those of us who are
- 00:21:37.326 --> 00:21:38.527
- That those of us who are married used to have.
- 00:21:38.593 --> 00:21:40.762
- Married used to have. hello, those of us who have
- 00:21:40.829 --> 00:21:41.563
- Hello, those of us who have children have forgotten about.
- 00:21:41.630 --> 00:21:44.132
- Children have forgotten about. there are things you can do --
- 00:21:44.199 --> 00:21:45.133
- There are things you can do -- and i'm gonna do this
- 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.234
- And i'm gonna do this in the series, okay,
- 00:21:46.301 --> 00:21:46.835
- In the series, okay, so you gotta come back,
- 00:21:46.902 --> 00:21:47.502
- So you gotta come back, you gotta come back.
- 00:21:47.569 --> 00:21:48.003
- You gotta come back. i'm gonna talk in a way
- 00:21:48.070 --> 00:21:49.771
- I'm gonna talk in a way that maybe you never heard
- 00:21:49.838 --> 00:21:50.405
- That maybe you never heard before about the advantages
- 00:21:50.472 --> 00:21:51.707
- Before about the advantages of singleness.
- 00:21:51.773 --> 00:21:52.274
- Of singleness. "well, it's easy
- 00:21:52.341 --> 00:21:52.941
- "well, it's easy for you to say."
- 00:21:53.008 --> 00:21:53.675
- [laughter]
- 00:21:54.109 --> 00:21:55.210
- I mean, i understand.
- 00:21:55.510 --> 00:21:56.244
- I mean, i understand. i don't understand what it
- 00:21:56.311 --> 00:21:58.013
- I don't understand what it would be like to be single.
- 00:21:58.080 --> 00:21:59.548
- Would be like to be single. holly and i got married
- 00:21:59.614 --> 00:22:00.816
- Holly and i got married right out of college,
- 00:22:00.882 --> 00:22:01.850
- Right out of college, but can i be honest with you?
- 00:22:01.917 --> 00:22:04.186
- But can i be honest with you? each season has strengths
- 00:22:04.252 --> 00:22:07.422
- Each season has strengths and struggles.
- 00:22:07.489 --> 00:22:11.026
- And struggles. each season.
- 00:22:11.093 --> 00:22:12.561
- Each season. and paul says if you're in
- 00:22:12.627 --> 00:22:13.862
- And paul says if you're in a season called single
- 00:22:13.929 --> 00:22:15.997
- A season called single that's not bad.
- 00:22:16.064 --> 00:22:18.667
- That's not bad. you're not some
- 00:22:18.734 --> 00:22:19.134
- You're not some half-baked person
- 00:22:19.201 --> 00:22:20.268
- Half-baked person walking around.
- 00:22:20.335 --> 00:22:21.536
- Walking around. you're not some
- 00:22:21.603 --> 00:22:22.104
- You're not some zombie walking around.
- 00:22:22.170 --> 00:22:24.740
- Zombie walking around. you're not a freak
- 00:22:24.806 --> 00:22:25.273
- You're not a freak 'cause you're single.
- 00:22:25.340 --> 00:22:27.776
- 'cause you're single. hey, virgins, you're not weird.
- 00:22:27.843 --> 00:22:32.314
- Hey, virgins, you're not weird. i was a virgin when
- 00:22:32.381 --> 00:22:33.181
- I was a virgin when i married my wife,
- 00:22:33.248 --> 00:22:34.383
- I married my wife, i'm proud of it.
- 00:22:34.449 --> 00:22:35.650
- [applause]
- 00:22:35.984 --> 00:22:36.451
- Look at me crazy.
- 00:22:36.852 --> 00:22:37.786
- [applause]
- 00:22:38.086 --> 00:22:40.455
- He said it's good
- 00:22:40.822 --> 00:22:41.590
- He said it's good to do it god's way.
- 00:22:41.656 --> 00:22:42.691
- To do it god's way. it's good.
- 00:22:42.758 --> 00:22:43.492
- It's good. it's good.
- 00:22:43.558 --> 00:22:44.292
- It's good. i wanna say to my single
- 00:22:44.359 --> 00:22:46.094
- I wanna say to my single brothers and sisters,
- 00:22:46.161 --> 00:22:47.028
- Brothers and sisters, "you're good."
- 00:22:47.095 --> 00:22:49.564
- "you're good." you don't need somebody
- 00:22:49.631 --> 00:22:50.298
- You don't need somebody on your arm to make you good,
- 00:22:50.365 --> 00:22:51.767
- On your arm to make you good, you're good 'cause god made you
- 00:22:51.833 --> 00:22:53.235
- You're good 'cause god made you and god makes good stuff.
- 00:22:53.301 --> 00:22:55.003
- And god makes good stuff. you're good.
- 00:22:55.070 --> 00:22:56.571
- You're good. you're good.
- 00:22:56.638 --> 00:22:57.939
- [applause]
- 00:22:59.007 --> 00:23:00.442
- >> alright, let's interact
- 00:23:01.410 --> 00:23:02.277
- >> alright, let's interact for a moment,
- 00:23:02.344 --> 00:23:03.311
- For a moment, just pretend like
- 00:23:03.378 --> 00:23:03.912
- Just pretend like i'm there with you.
- 00:23:03.979 --> 00:23:04.880
- I'm there with you. have you ever experienced
- 00:23:04.946 --> 00:23:06.648
- Have you ever experienced a challenging relationship?
- 00:23:06.715 --> 00:23:08.617
- A challenging relationship? holly do this, do this.
- 00:23:08.683 --> 00:23:11.219
- Holly do this, do this. okay, be careful how
- 00:23:11.286 --> 00:23:12.087
- You respond if you're sitting
- 00:23:12.187 --> 00:23:12.954
- You respond if you're sitting in your living room watching
- 00:23:13.021 --> 00:23:13.922
- In your living room watching this with your spouse,
- 00:23:13.989 --> 00:23:15.991
- This with your spouse, or someone that you love.
- 00:23:16.057 --> 00:23:17.492
- Or someone that you love. the truth is,
- 00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:18.326
- The truth is, relationships are
- 00:23:18.393 --> 00:23:19.628
- Relationships are challenging by design,
- 00:23:19.694 --> 00:23:21.163
- Challenging by design, it's how god grows us.
- 00:23:21.229 --> 00:23:22.464
- It's how god grows us. >> right.
- 00:23:22.531 --> 00:23:22.798
- >> right. >> but, it's his intention
- 00:23:22.864 --> 00:23:24.633
- >> but, it's his intention for you to do more than just
- 00:23:24.699 --> 00:23:25.834
- For you to do more than just survive your relationships.
- 00:23:25.901 --> 00:23:27.769
- Survive your relationships. i believe he wants you
- 00:23:27.836 --> 00:23:28.770
- I believe he wants you to thrive in them.
- 00:23:28.837 --> 00:23:29.504
- To thrive in them. >> yes.
- 00:23:29.571 --> 00:23:29.938
- >> yes. >> and his word gives us
- 00:23:30.005 --> 00:23:31.006
- >> and his word gives us the tools to make that possible.
- 00:23:31.072 --> 00:23:32.641
- The tools to make that possible. so, today, i have a special,
- 00:23:32.707 --> 00:23:34.509
- So, today, i have a special, most requested resource
- 00:23:34.576 --> 00:23:36.745
- Most requested resource that i wanna send to you,
- 00:23:36.812 --> 00:23:37.813
- That i wanna send to you, it's called,
- 00:23:37.879 --> 00:23:38.947
- It's called, "meant to be."
- 00:23:39.014 --> 00:23:39.815
- "meant to be." it will show you
- 00:23:39.881 --> 00:23:40.715
- It will show you some of the bible's best kept
- 00:23:40.782 --> 00:23:41.950
- Some of the bible's best kept secrets about sex, shh,
- 00:23:42.017 --> 00:23:45.954
- Secrets about sex, shh, marriage, and being single.
- 00:23:46.021 --> 00:23:48.623
- Marriage, and being single. >> it's so good,
- 00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:49.558
- >> it's so good, and it's really not
- 00:23:49.624 --> 00:23:50.225
- And it's really not just a relationship series.
- 00:23:50.292 --> 00:23:52.294
- Just a relationship series. this resource truly has
- 00:23:52.360 --> 00:23:54.029
- This resource truly has the power to impact your life.
- 00:23:54.095 --> 00:23:55.363
- The power to impact your life. we've heard stories of marriages
- 00:23:55.430 --> 00:23:57.299
- We've heard stories of marriages that were restored,
- 00:23:57.365 --> 00:23:58.567
- That were restored, and single people that
- 00:23:58.633 --> 00:23:59.401
- And single people that learned to embrace the season
- 00:23:59.468 --> 00:24:00.802
- Learned to embrace the season that there in instead of
- 00:24:00.869 --> 00:24:02.437
- That there in instead of focusing on the relationships
- 00:24:02.504 --> 00:24:03.905
- Focusing on the relationships that they don't have.
- 00:24:03.972 --> 00:24:04.973
- That they don't have. i know that this series
- 00:24:05.040 --> 00:24:06.541
- I know that this series is gonna help you like it
- 00:24:06.608 --> 00:24:08.143
- Is gonna help you like it has so many already.
- 00:24:08.210 --> 00:24:09.878
- Has so many already. >> and, we wanna help you,
- 00:24:09.945 --> 00:24:10.779
- >> and, we wanna help you, we're here to help you.
- 00:24:10.846 --> 00:24:11.613
- We're here to help you. >> yeah.
- 00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:11.980
- >> yeah. >> so, i'm gonna send you
- 00:24:12.047 --> 00:24:12.747
- >> so, i'm gonna send you this resource, "meant to be,"
- 00:24:12.814 --> 00:24:14.115
- This resource, "meant to be," with your gift of any amount
- 00:24:14.182 --> 00:24:15.984
- With your gift of any amount to the ministry today.
- 00:24:16.051 --> 00:24:17.919
- To the ministry today. just go online, right now,
- 00:24:17.986 --> 00:24:20.155
- Just go online, right now, or call the number
- 00:24:20.222 --> 00:24:20.722
- Or call the number on the screen, right now,
- 00:24:20.789 --> 00:24:22.457
- On the screen, right now, and request your copy of
- 00:24:22.524 --> 00:24:23.725
- And request your copy of "meant to be."
- 00:24:23.792 --> 00:24:24.559
- "meant to be." say, "i want it,"
- 00:24:24.626 --> 00:24:25.660
- Say, "i want it," and we'll get it out
- 00:24:25.727 --> 00:24:26.828
- And we'll get it out to you right away.
- 00:24:26.895 --> 00:24:27.696
- To you right away. here's some more info as well
- 00:24:27.762 --> 00:24:29.097
- Here's some more info as well as some additional resources
- 00:24:29.164 --> 00:24:30.432
- As some additional resources you can request today.
- 00:24:30.499 --> 00:24:31.933
- >> "relationship essentials"
- 00:24:32.767 --> 00:24:33.735
- Features two
- 00:24:33.835 --> 00:24:34.436
- Of pastor steven furtick's
- 00:24:34.536 --> 00:24:35.770
- Most requested series,
- 00:24:35.871 --> 00:24:37.005
- "meant to be,"
- 00:24:37.105 --> 00:24:37.639
- And "the other half."
- 00:24:37.739 --> 00:24:38.607
- "meant to be,"
- 00:24:38.707 --> 00:24:39.608
- Is a powerful 5-part series
- 00:24:39.708 --> 00:24:40.876
- Uncovering the bible's
- 00:24:40.976 --> 00:24:41.743
- Best-kept secrets about sex,
- 00:24:41.843 --> 00:24:43.345
- Marriage, and being single.
- 00:24:43.445 --> 00:24:44.880
- And, "the other half,"
- 00:24:44.980 --> 00:24:45.914
- Is a 4-part series that
- 00:24:46.014 --> 00:24:47.115
- Provides practical steps
- 00:24:47.215 --> 00:24:48.450
- To shift your focus
- 00:24:48.550 --> 00:24:49.117
- In relationships and prioritize
- 00:24:49.217 --> 00:24:50.919
- What matters most.
- 00:24:51.019 --> 00:24:52.053
- Together these two series
- 00:24:52.153 --> 00:24:53.321
- Provide the tools you need
- 00:24:53.421 --> 00:24:54.556
- For healthier relationships,
- 00:24:54.656 --> 00:24:55.991
- God's way.
- 00:24:56.091 --> 00:24:56.758
- "relationship essentials"
- 00:24:56.858 --> 00:24:57.959
- Is available for your gift
- 00:24:58.059 --> 00:24:59.060
- Of any amount.
- 00:24:59.160 --> 00:24:59.995
- Call or visit us online now
- 00:25:00.095 --> 00:25:01.463
- To request your copy.
- 00:25:01.563 --> 00:25:02.297
- >> if you love watching sermons
- 00:25:02.931 --> 00:25:04.266
- >> if you love watching sermons from pastor steven furtick,
- 00:25:04.332 --> 00:25:05.700
- From pastor steven furtick, there's more for you.
- 00:25:05.767 --> 00:25:06.902
- There's more for you. you can join us sundays live
- 00:25:06.968 --> 00:25:08.870
- You can join us sundays live online where you can watch
- 00:25:08.937 --> 00:25:10.105
- Online where you can watch the sermon and also
- 00:25:10.171 --> 00:25:11.373
- The sermon and also worship with us,
- 00:25:11.439 --> 00:25:12.407
- Worship with us, and find a community
- 00:25:12.474 --> 00:25:13.675
- And find a community of believers.
- 00:25:13.742 --> 00:25:14.442
- Of believers. go to stevenfurtick.com/live
- 00:25:14.509 --> 00:25:16.278
- Go to stevenfurtick.com/live for times.
- 00:25:16.344 --> 00:25:17.579
- >> ♪ oh i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:25:18.380 --> 00:25:21.216
- ♪ heavy with rain ♪
- 00:25:21.283 --> 00:25:23.385
- ♪ and it looks like revival ♪
- 00:25:23.451 --> 00:25:26.221
- ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:25:26.288 --> 00:25:29.090
- ♪ oh i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:25:29.157 --> 00:25:31.493
- ♪ heavy with rain ♪
- 00:25:31.560 --> 00:25:33.895
- ♪ and it looks like salvation ♪
- 00:25:33.962 --> 00:25:35.363
- >> ♪ salvation ♪
- 00:25:35.430 --> 00:25:36.765
- >> ♪ is headed our way ♪
- 00:25:36.831 --> 00:25:38.466
- >> ♪ i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:25:39.167 --> 00:25:41.536
- ♪ heavy with rain ♪
- 00:25:41.603 --> 00:25:43.672
- ♪ and it looks like revival ♪
- 00:25:43.738 --> 00:25:46.575
- ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:25:46.641 --> 00:25:49.344
- ♪ oh i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:25:49.411 --> 00:25:52.013
- ♪ heavy with rain ♪
- 00:25:52.080 --> 00:25:54.382
- ♪ and it looks like salvation ♪
- 00:25:54.449 --> 00:25:57.152
- ♪ is headed our way ♪
- 00:25:57.218 --> 00:25:59.354
- ♪ oh i can hear a sound ♪
- 00:25:59.421 --> 00:26:02.190
- ♪ the abundance of rain ♪
- 00:26:02.257 --> 00:26:04.859
- ♪ and it sounds like freedom ♪
- 00:26:04.926 --> 00:26:07.395
- ♪ and it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:07.462 --> 00:26:10.065
- ♪ oh i can hear a sound ♪
- 00:26:10.131 --> 00:26:12.734
- ♪ the abundance of rain ♪
- 00:26:12.801 --> 00:26:15.337
- ♪ and it sounds ♪
- 00:26:15.403 --> 00:26:16.171
- ♪ like provision ♪
- 00:26:16.237 --> 00:26:18.206
- ♪ is headed our way ♪
- 00:26:18.273 --> 00:26:20.675
- ♪ oh i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:26:20.742 --> 00:26:23.211
- ♪ and it's heavy with rain ♪
- 00:26:23.278 --> 00:26:25.981
- ♪ and it looks like healing ♪
- 00:26:26.047 --> 00:26:28.783
- ♪ is headed our way ♪
- 00:26:28.850 --> 00:26:31.152
- ♪ oh i can see a cloud ♪
- 00:26:31.219 --> 00:26:33.722
- ♪ and it's heavy with rain ♪
- 00:26:33.788 --> 00:26:36.424
- ♪ and it looks like joy ♪
- 00:26:36.491 --> 00:26:39.127
- ♪ and it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:39.194 --> 00:26:41.730
- ♪ yes it's headed ♪
- 00:26:41.796 --> 00:26:42.597
- ♪ our way ♪
- 00:26:42.664 --> 00:26:43.398
- ♪ prophesy ♪
- 00:26:43.465 --> 00:26:44.699
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:44.766 --> 00:26:45.834
- >> ♪ oh it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:47.302
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:47.369 --> 00:26:48.470
- >> ♪ it's coming
- 00:26:48.536 --> 00:26:49.104
- ♪ it's coming ♪
- 00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:49.904
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:49.971 --> 00:26:50.972
- >> ♪ it's coming ♪
- 00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:51.773
- ♪ it's coming ♪
- 00:26:51.840 --> 00:26:52.607
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:52.674 --> 00:26:53.642
- >> ♪ oh it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:53.708 --> 00:26:55.210
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:55.276 --> 00:26:56.311
- >> ♪ oh it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:56.378 --> 00:26:57.779
- >> ♪ it's headed our way ♪
- 00:26:57.846 --> 00:26:59.047
- ♪ ♪
- 00:27:03.218 --> 00:27:03.718
- >> ♪ so darkness ♪
- 00:27:04.419 --> 00:27:05.186
- ♪ bow down to the day ♪
- 00:27:05.253 --> 00:27:07.222
- >> ♪ mountains get up ♪
- 00:27:07.288 --> 00:27:08.590
- ♪ out my way ♪
- 00:27:08.657 --> 00:27:09.791
- ♪ breaking out of yesterday ♪
- 00:27:09.858 --> 00:27:11.793
- >> ♪ i got a new thing ♪
- 00:27:11.860 --> 00:27:12.761
- >> ♪ i got a new thing coming ♪
- 00:27:12.827 --> 00:27:14.763
- >> ♪ so tell this giant ♪
- 00:27:14.829 --> 00:27:16.431
- ♪ in my face ♪
- 00:27:16.498 --> 00:27:17.699
- ♪ you're not greater ♪
- 00:27:17.766 --> 00:27:19.034
- >> ♪ than my faith ♪
- 00:27:19.100 --> 00:27:20.335
- ♪ best believe me ♪
- 00:27:20.402 --> 00:27:21.803
- ♪ when i say ♪
- 00:27:21.870 --> 00:27:23.471
- ♪ i got a new thing coming ♪
- 00:27:23.538 --> 00:27:24.973
- >> ♪ i got a new thing ♪
- 00:27:25.040 --> 00:27:26.041
- >> ♪ i got a new thing coming ♪
- 00:27:26.107 --> 00:27:27.342
- >> ♪ i got a new thing ♪
- 00:27:27.409 --> 00:27:28.410
- >> ♪ i got a new thing coming ♪
- 00:27:28.476 --> 00:27:29.010