Ed Young - Lasting Relationships

December 16, 2025 | 29:0

Pastor Ed Young addresses the congregation with a powerful message about forgiveness, healing, and the importance of marriage, singleness, and divorce according to biblical teachings. Through vivid examples from the lives of historical figures like the Apostle Paul and David, he emphasizes the transformative power of God's grace in overcoming past mistakes. Drawing on scripture and personal anecdotes, Pastor Young delivers a poignant reminder that through faith in Christ, individuals can find redemption, restoration, and a fresh start in their relationships and lives.

Closed captions

Show Timecode
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Lasting Relationships | December 16, 2025
  • ...
  • 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:01.347
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:01.815 --> 00:00:11.691
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:11.825 --> 00:00:17.430
  • Ed young: let me ask you a question: would you let someone
  • 00:00:21.568 --> 00:00:25.672
  • Speak in this pulpit, this evangelical, bible-believing
  • 00:00:25.672 --> 00:00:30.376
  • Church, if they had been a part of persecuting a lot of
  • 00:00:30.376 --> 00:00:36.149
  • Christians in the middle east, they had seen a lot of people
  • 00:00:36.149 --> 00:00:41.054
  • Executed and they'd applauded it, and they had organized
  • 00:00:41.054 --> 00:00:44.924
  • Groups to carry out this terrorist activity to persecute
  • 00:00:44.924 --> 00:00:49.028
  • Christians, and that person came to know christ?
  • 00:00:49.028 --> 00:00:53.099
  • Would you let them stand in the pulpit here?
  • 00:00:53.099 --> 00:00:57.770
  • What if somebody, somebody looked at a beautiful woman,
  • 00:00:57.770 --> 00:01:04.844
  • Sorta looked through the window and she was taking a bath and he
  • 00:01:04.911 --> 00:01:09.482
  • Lusted after her, and he went and invited her out on a social
  • 00:01:09.482 --> 00:01:15.622
  • Situation and had sex with her and fell madly in love with her
  • 00:01:15.688 --> 00:01:20.260
  • And arranged for a hitman to kill her husband so that he
  • 00:01:20.260 --> 00:01:26.633
  • Could marry her, and he married her.
  • 00:01:26.699 --> 00:01:29.302
  • Would you let that person stand and speak in this pulpit?
  • 00:01:29.302 --> 00:01:35.275
  • Well, we just excluded the apostle paul and david.
  • 00:01:35.275 --> 00:01:41.814
  • My point, god heals, god forgives, god cleanses and gives
  • 00:01:41.881 --> 00:01:48.755
  • Those who follow christ a brand-new, fresh beginning.
  • 00:01:48.821 --> 00:01:53.126
  • That's the gospel, that's the good news.
  • 00:01:53.126 --> 00:01:59.098
  • We don't cancel out people.
  • 00:01:59.098 --> 00:02:01.768
  • We say, "come to him for his healing, forgiving grace."
  • 00:02:01.768 --> 00:02:07.807
  • So paul takes these first 6 chapters, and it's almost a
  • 00:02:09.142 --> 00:02:14.280
  • Shotgun approach, he deals with this, with this, with this.
  • 00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:18.184
  • And in the 7th chapter, remember the context, he's answering
  • 00:02:18.184 --> 00:02:22.989
  • Specific questions that the church had asked him as their
  • 00:02:22.989 --> 00:02:26.626
  • Founding pastor.
  • 00:02:26.626 --> 00:02:29.095
  • And then he gets to chapter 7, and look what he says.
  • 00:02:29.095 --> 00:02:32.732
  • "and now concerning the things of which you wrote to me."
  • 00:02:32.732 --> 00:02:37.437
  • It was about time.
  • 00:02:37.437 --> 00:02:39.606
  • He said, "now i'm gonna answer those specific questions."
  • 00:02:39.606 --> 00:02:43.643
  • And then he begins, in chapter 7, and he deals with marriage,
  • 00:02:43.643 --> 00:02:50.216
  • With singleness, and with divorce.
  • 00:02:50.283 --> 00:02:55.388
  • The first thing paul talks about in 7 is marriage, listen to it.
  • 00:02:55.388 --> 00:03:01.928
  • "it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
  • 00:03:01.995 --> 00:03:06.766
  • Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have
  • 00:03:06.766 --> 00:03:10.970
  • His own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
  • 00:03:10.970 --> 00:03:14.774
  • Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and
  • 00:03:14.774 --> 00:03:18.845
  • Likewise also the wife to the husband.
  • 00:03:18.845 --> 00:03:22.415
  • The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the
  • 00:03:22.415 --> 00:03:27.954
  • Husband does.
  • 00:03:27.954 --> 00:03:29.355
  • And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own
  • 00:03:29.355 --> 00:03:32.625
  • Body, but the wife does.
  • 00:03:32.625 --> 00:03:35.695
  • Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time,
  • 00:03:35.695 --> 00:03:40.166
  • That you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come
  • 00:03:40.166 --> 00:03:43.936
  • Together again so that satan does not tempt you because of
  • 00:03:43.936 --> 00:03:48.775
  • Your lack of self-control.
  • 00:03:48.775 --> 00:03:51.411
  • But i say this as a concession, and not as a commandment."
  • 00:03:51.411 --> 00:03:55.148
  • Let me stop here and help us understand 7, paul is answering
  • 00:03:55.148 --> 00:04:01.187
  • Specific questions, okay?
  • 00:04:02.021 --> 00:04:05.725
  • We don't know exactly what the questions are, we surmise.
  • 00:04:05.725 --> 00:04:09.262
  • And therefore, you can take a verse here and you could say,
  • 00:04:09.262 --> 00:04:14.200
  • "the bible says, 'a man is not to touch a woman,'" and somebody
  • 00:04:14.200 --> 00:04:18.871
  • Would take that and say, "boy, this is what god says
  • 00:04:18.871 --> 00:04:21.541
  • In his word."
  • 00:04:21.541 --> 00:04:23.643
  • In context we have to understand things.
  • 00:04:23.643 --> 00:04:28.848
  • He's talking about the body, and he's talking about the body and
  • 00:04:28.848 --> 00:04:32.919
  • The culture of corinth in that day.
  • 00:04:32.919 --> 00:04:36.489
  • For example, there's a whole understanding of the body, that
  • 00:04:36.489 --> 00:04:42.261
  • The body is a morally neutral zone.
  • 00:04:42.261 --> 00:04:48.067
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:04:48.067 --> 00:04:49.936
  • It means that the body doesn't mean anything, the important
  • 00:04:49.936 --> 00:04:52.538
  • Thing is the soul.
  • 00:04:52.538 --> 00:04:53.906
  • What is a soul?
  • 00:04:53.906 --> 00:04:55.241
  • It's everything that is not flesh.
  • 00:04:55.241 --> 00:04:57.043
  • Get that?
  • 00:04:57.043 --> 00:04:58.411
  • Everything about you and about me that is eternal, that is not
  • 00:04:58.411 --> 00:05:01.981
  • Flesh, that is your soul and that is my soul, this body is
  • 00:05:01.981 --> 00:05:06.018
  • Not made for eternal existence.
  • 00:05:06.018 --> 00:05:09.355
  • You got it?
  • 00:05:09.355 --> 00:05:11.557
  • So what he's saying here, there was a whole philosophy that the
  • 00:05:11.557 --> 00:05:15.561
  • Body is a moral neutral zone.
  • 00:05:15.561 --> 00:05:18.765
  • Therefore, you can do anything you want to do.
  • 00:05:18.765 --> 00:05:22.301
  • And that's hedonism, sex anywhere, anytime, consenting
  • 00:05:22.301 --> 00:05:26.506
  • Adults, we've heard that.
  • 00:05:26.506 --> 00:05:27.874
  • There's a hedonistic view of life, the body is neutral,
  • 00:05:27.874 --> 00:05:31.711
  • Doesn't make any difference, only important thing's the soul.
  • 00:05:31.711 --> 00:05:34.814
  • And the other extremity is that the body is a evil zone, an
  • 00:05:34.814 --> 00:05:40.853
  • Evil zone.
  • 00:05:41.988 --> 00:05:43.656
  • The body is so evil you have to practice celibacy.
  • 00:05:43.656 --> 00:05:49.662
  • Celibacy, no relation with the opposite sex.
  • 00:05:49.662 --> 00:05:53.533
  • That's the two extremes, celibacy or promiscuity.
  • 00:05:53.533 --> 00:05:59.572
  • Now, that was the culture.
  • 00:06:01.407 --> 00:06:03.075
  • Now, understand what's happening, these people come
  • 00:06:03.075 --> 00:06:05.745
  • From all the world, all kind of view of marriage and sex and
  • 00:06:05.745 --> 00:06:09.248
  • Relationships, and paul is trying to establish and saying
  • 00:06:09.248 --> 00:06:12.618
  • You've got two extremes in the church, some are celibate and
  • 00:06:12.618 --> 00:06:18.491
  • Some are hedonistic.
  • 00:06:18.491 --> 00:06:20.960
  • And then he comes and says what happens in intimacy in marriage,
  • 00:06:20.960 --> 00:06:26.766
  • In marriage, body and soul come together.
  • 00:06:26.766 --> 00:06:32.071
  • That's the magnificent view of physicality in marriage and sex
  • 00:06:32.071 --> 00:06:37.043
  • In marriage that you have in the church, and that's the beauty of
  • 00:06:37.043 --> 00:06:41.080
  • A christian marriage.
  • 00:06:41.080 --> 00:06:43.883
  • Paul is dealing with this, and then he deals with singleness.
  • 00:06:43.883 --> 00:06:50.256
  • What if paul had been married with children?
  • 00:06:50.323 --> 00:06:53.826
  • Could he have done for god what he did, traveling all the world,
  • 00:06:53.826 --> 00:06:58.531
  • Bringing the gospel out in europe, could that?
  • 00:06:58.531 --> 00:07:00.500
  • No, no, no, he'd be so limited.
  • 00:07:00.500 --> 00:07:02.068
  • He'd have a higher responsibility to his wife and
  • 00:07:02.068 --> 00:07:04.504
  • His family, would he not?
  • 00:07:04.504 --> 00:07:06.572
  • So paul is saying, "i wish you could be single, as i am, 'cause
  • 00:07:06.572 --> 00:07:10.343
  • I'm free to do things."
  • 00:07:10.343 --> 00:07:11.711
  • So you've got the married life and the single life, and by the
  • 00:07:11.711 --> 00:07:16.516
  • Way, the married life is much more complex than the
  • 00:07:16.516 --> 00:07:20.152
  • Single life.
  • 00:07:20.152 --> 00:07:22.321
  • We could not run this church without single men and women,
  • 00:07:22.321 --> 00:07:26.158
  • It would be impossible.
  • 00:07:26.158 --> 00:07:28.561
  • If we listed all the things that these tremendous singles do for
  • 00:07:28.561 --> 00:07:32.265
  • Us, we'd sit back and say, "whoa."
  • 00:07:32.265 --> 00:07:36.035
  • Now, for the first time in the history of the united states,
  • 00:07:36.035 --> 00:07:39.405
  • There are more people single in america today than there
  • 00:07:39.405 --> 00:07:42.775
  • Are married.
  • 00:07:42.775 --> 00:07:44.110
  • First time in history, so singleness is in.
  • 00:07:44.110 --> 00:07:48.414
  • And in the crisis that they saw in corinth, paul is saying, "it
  • 00:07:48.414 --> 00:07:52.752
  • Is best that i am single, and some of you who have the gift of
  • 00:07:52.752 --> 00:07:57.390
  • Singleness, it's best that you be single."
  • 00:07:57.390 --> 00:08:00.826
  • Now, others would say, "well, i don't have the gift.
  • 00:08:00.826 --> 00:08:03.129
  • I don't have the gift of singleness, i want to
  • 00:08:03.129 --> 00:08:07.867
  • Be married."
  • 00:08:07.867 --> 00:08:09.502
  • But then we understand spiritual gifts, follow me carefully.
  • 00:08:09.502 --> 00:08:14.140
  • I do not have the gift of hospitality in the sense that i
  • 00:08:14.140 --> 00:08:19.345
  • Love preparing all of that and cooking and doing.
  • 00:08:19.345 --> 00:08:22.715
  • A lot of men do, i just don't have that gift.
  • 00:08:22.715 --> 00:08:25.384
  • I like people, i like to meet people, i like the conversation
  • 00:08:25.384 --> 00:08:28.821
  • That goes around hospitality, but the gift of all the
  • 00:08:28.821 --> 00:08:31.691
  • Preparation, that's not me.
  • 00:08:31.691 --> 00:08:35.795
  • But many times, i have got into hospitality preparation and
  • 00:08:35.795 --> 00:08:42.435
  • Doing things and preparing things, i didn't like it because
  • 00:08:42.501 --> 00:08:45.771
  • It was my duty, but i'm not gifted.
  • 00:08:45.771 --> 00:08:49.075
  • I didn't enjoy it, it's my duty.
  • 00:08:49.075 --> 00:08:51.877
  • So you may not have the gift of singleness, but at this time it
  • 00:08:51.877 --> 00:08:56.315
  • Is within you, your capacity, to be pure and chaste and to
  • 00:08:56.315 --> 00:09:01.120
  • Be single.
  • 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:02.455
  • This lifestyle is blessed of god, the married lifestyle is
  • 00:09:02.455 --> 00:09:05.725
  • Blessed of god.
  • 00:09:05.725 --> 00:09:08.294
  • So that's important that we understand the whole thing
  • 00:09:08.294 --> 00:09:11.130
  • Of singles.
  • 00:09:11.130 --> 00:09:12.465
  • Let me say, to those who are single, whether you're divorced
  • 00:09:12.465 --> 00:09:16.869
  • Or widowed or you've never married, handle your dating
  • 00:09:16.869 --> 00:09:23.542
  • Relationship biblically and sensibly.
  • 00:09:23.609 --> 00:09:29.582
  • I suggest you read c.s. lewis's book "four loves."
  • 00:09:29.582 --> 00:09:34.820
  • It's a little dated, but c.s. lewis talks about four greek
  • 00:09:34.820 --> 00:09:38.824
  • Words that can be translated love.
  • 00:09:38.824 --> 00:09:43.262
  • He talks about eros, that's sexual love and attraction.
  • 00:09:43.262 --> 00:09:49.301
  • He talks about storge, that's an affectionate kind of love.
  • 00:09:49.301 --> 00:09:53.239
  • You feel an affection there.
  • 00:09:53.239 --> 00:09:55.941
  • And he talks about agape, that's that total committed love that
  • 00:09:55.941 --> 00:10:02.415
  • You have in marriage, total commitment.
  • 00:10:02.481 --> 00:10:06.352
  • Then he talks about phileo or philos, and that is that
  • 00:10:06.352 --> 00:10:10.656
  • Friendship love that you have.
  • 00:10:10.656 --> 00:10:12.291
  • Philadelphia, city of brotherly love, philos, "four loves."
  • 00:10:12.291 --> 00:10:17.797
  • Now, if you're single and you go in a room and there's seven or
  • 00:10:17.797 --> 00:10:24.403
  • Eight people in there of the opposite gender, okay?
  • 00:10:24.470 --> 00:10:29.275
  • And you're single, who do you tend to gravitate to?
  • 00:10:29.275 --> 00:10:35.314
  • Probably, be honest, you would gravitate toward the chemistry,
  • 00:10:37.016 --> 00:10:43.055
  • Toward the eros, or maybe toward storge, you know, somebody who'd
  • 00:10:44.957 --> 00:10:50.463
  • Be warm and affectionate, you go that way.
  • 00:10:50.463 --> 00:10:55.434
  • And that's where people make mistakes, we start off with that
  • 00:10:55.434 --> 00:10:59.939
  • Attraction, that chemistry, that eros, that storge, and all of a
  • 00:10:59.939 --> 00:11:05.945
  • Sudden we approach this relationship backwards.
  • 00:11:05.945 --> 00:11:11.016
  • We need to shuffle those loves and take--in dating and
  • 00:11:11.016 --> 00:11:15.521
  • Relationship if you're single-- eros, sexual love, and put it to
  • 00:11:15.521 --> 00:11:20.960
  • One side.
  • 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:22.495
  • And what do you look for in that room of eligible singles that
  • 00:11:22.495 --> 00:11:28.100
  • You're in?
  • 00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:29.435
  • What do you look for, first of all?
  • 00:11:29.435 --> 00:11:32.605
  • You look for philos, phileo, friendship.
  • 00:11:32.605 --> 00:11:38.744
  • You're looking for somebody who would be your friend, your best
  • 00:11:38.811 --> 00:11:44.383
  • Friend for the rest of your life, that's where you start.
  • 00:11:44.383 --> 00:11:50.256
  • It's true in genesis, god created, "it's good, it's good,
  • 00:11:50.256 --> 00:11:56.095
  • It's good, it's good, it's good, it's good, it's very good."
  • 00:11:56.095 --> 00:11:59.198
  • Then he said, "it's not good for adam to be alone."
  • 00:11:59.198 --> 00:12:02.601
  • Okay, what's adam's problem?
  • 00:12:02.601 --> 00:12:05.471
  • He's lonely.
  • 00:12:05.471 --> 00:12:07.606
  • What's the answer?
  • 00:12:07.606 --> 00:12:08.974
  • Eve.
  • 00:12:08.974 --> 00:12:10.810
  • What does god say in their marriage?
  • 00:12:10.810 --> 00:12:12.745
  • "leave and cleave."
  • 00:12:12.745 --> 00:12:14.647
  • He doesn't start off with, "be naked."
  • 00:12:14.647 --> 00:12:19.051
  • You start with friendship.
  • 00:12:19.051 --> 00:12:22.922
  • If your wife, your husband is not your best friend, if you've
  • 00:12:22.922 --> 00:12:26.192
  • Got somebody, "oh, that's a better friend than you are,"
  • 00:12:26.192 --> 00:12:28.727
  • You're in trouble.
  • 00:12:28.727 --> 00:12:31.163
  • Start with friendship, and then you get the order of these
  • 00:12:31.163 --> 00:12:36.435
  • Loves right.
  • 00:12:36.435 --> 00:12:37.803
  • You start with phileo, you start with friendship, and then that
  • 00:12:37.803 --> 00:12:43.375
  • Friendship warms and becomes storge, it becomes affection,
  • 00:12:43.375 --> 00:12:47.646
  • And then finally it becomes agape, and then you make that
  • 00:12:47.646 --> 00:12:50.816
  • Commitment, everything you have, highest priority of your life,
  • 00:12:50.816 --> 00:12:55.020
  • Total commitment of love, and then comes a total expression
  • 00:12:55.020 --> 00:12:58.824
  • Of eros.
  • 00:12:58.824 --> 00:13:02.228
  • You get that backwards, and you will be fouled up so many times,
  • 00:13:02.228 --> 00:13:06.599
  • Not every time, because we know today divorce is in decline
  • 00:13:06.599 --> 00:13:12.338
  • Because there's so much cohabitation.
  • 00:13:12.338 --> 00:13:15.608
  • You know, "let's live together, and we'll see if it works out."
  • 00:13:15.608 --> 00:13:18.811
  • Those who cohabitate, they get married about 63% of the time,
  • 00:13:18.811 --> 00:13:24.583
  • But only about 36% of those marriages last.
  • 00:13:24.583 --> 00:13:30.623
  • So if you want your marriage to last, you don't begin
  • 00:13:32.291 --> 00:13:34.526
  • With cohabitation.
  • 00:13:34.526 --> 00:13:37.096
  • You don't begin there.
  • 00:13:37.096 --> 00:13:39.131
  • So what am i saying?
  • 00:13:39.131 --> 00:13:40.666
  • I'm saying that the sexual relationship in marriage is
  • 00:13:40.666 --> 00:13:45.471
  • Expression and celebration and sacred.
  • 00:13:45.471 --> 00:13:48.107
  • I'm saying outside of marriage it is zero and null.
  • 00:13:48.107 --> 00:13:52.044
  • I'm saying in dating relationship you're looking for
  • 00:13:52.044 --> 00:13:55.681
  • Somebody who will be your best friend and confidant in
  • 00:13:55.681 --> 00:13:59.485
  • Your life.
  • 00:13:59.485 --> 00:14:00.853
  • Because marriage is dangerous.
  • 00:14:00.853 --> 00:14:03.289
  • Your mate completely reprograms your life and your self-image.
  • 00:14:03.289 --> 00:14:09.528
  • If you get married, and you think, "well, i'm fairly
  • 00:14:09.595 --> 00:14:14.266
  • Intelligent," and your wife and husband says, "you are stupid,
  • 00:14:14.266 --> 00:14:19.471
  • You just can't think clearly," that mate is reprogramming you.
  • 00:14:19.471 --> 00:14:25.444
  • And they can reprogram you positively or negatively.
  • 00:14:25.444 --> 00:14:29.715
  • They can say, "man, you know, i think that you have this and you
  • 00:14:29.715 --> 00:14:33.552
  • Didn't know it," and it works both ways.
  • 00:14:33.552 --> 00:14:37.623
  • Ladies and gentlemen, marriage is the biggest decision anybody
  • 00:14:37.623 --> 00:14:42.795
  • Makes outside the decision to receive jesus christ.
  • 00:14:42.795 --> 00:14:45.965
  • So make sure, if you want your marriage to sing, we've been
  • 00:14:45.965 --> 00:14:49.768
  • Talking about that for about five weeks now, go back and
  • 00:14:49.768 --> 00:14:53.105
  • Listen and study and it'll work every single time.
  • 00:14:53.105 --> 00:14:58.377
  • We talk about singleness, and then we talk about divorce, and
  • 00:14:58.377 --> 00:15:04.516
  • What happens in divorce is a devastating thing.
  • 00:15:04.583 --> 00:15:08.687
  • Because remember, i've already told you, what is divorce?
  • 00:15:08.687 --> 00:15:11.991
  • It is suicide.
  • 00:15:11.991 --> 00:15:15.060
  • Two become one and that one dies.
  • 00:15:15.060 --> 00:15:19.264
  • That's divorce, it is suicide.
  • 00:15:19.264 --> 00:15:24.303
  • So we look at the bible, and we say, "well, what does god say
  • 00:15:24.303 --> 00:15:28.774
  • About divorce?"
  • 00:15:28.774 --> 00:15:30.843
  • And i want you to see god says there are three areas, three
  • 00:15:30.843 --> 00:15:37.249
  • Areas in which god speaks clearly about divorce in several
  • 00:15:37.316 --> 00:15:42.654
  • Different passages.
  • 00:15:42.654 --> 00:15:45.190
  • Number one, jesus says--the pharisees ask him about divorce,
  • 00:15:45.190 --> 00:15:50.295
  • Trying to trap him between the two extremes.
  • 00:15:50.295 --> 00:15:53.132
  • Remember the extremes of that day?
  • 00:15:53.132 --> 00:15:56.101
  • In roman culture, for 500-plus years, there was not a single
  • 00:15:56.101 --> 00:16:01.740
  • Divorce in the roman empire that any record is kept, and they
  • 00:16:01.740 --> 00:16:05.177
  • Keep records about everything.
  • 00:16:05.177 --> 00:16:06.545
  • Did you get that?
  • 00:16:06.545 --> 00:16:07.913
  • 500 years, no divorce in the roman empire, why?
  • 00:16:07.913 --> 00:16:12.818
  • The father was king kong, the father determined everything,
  • 00:16:12.818 --> 00:16:18.123
  • And marriages were handled by negotiation between the father
  • 00:16:18.123 --> 00:16:23.362
  • Of this female and the father this male, and a dowry was
  • 00:16:23.362 --> 00:16:28.734
  • Set up.
  • 00:16:28.734 --> 00:16:30.069
  • And this happened when, usually, the children were about three
  • 00:16:30.069 --> 00:16:32.237
  • Years old.
  • 00:16:32.237 --> 00:16:33.605
  • Hello?
  • 00:16:33.605 --> 00:16:35.808
  • "and i will give you my daughter when your son comes of age, and
  • 00:16:35.808 --> 00:16:41.780
  • I will give you this dowry, this amount of money to take care of
  • 00:16:41.780 --> 00:16:46.752
  • Her and keep up with her," and there is where the negotiation
  • 00:16:46.752 --> 00:16:50.022
  • Took place, right there.
  • 00:16:50.022 --> 00:16:53.358
  • And therefore, in rome, they didn't have divorce.
  • 00:16:53.358 --> 00:16:56.128
  • But remember, the romans conquered the greeks but the
  • 00:16:56.128 --> 00:17:00.365
  • Greeks conquered the romans' culture.
  • 00:17:00.365 --> 00:17:02.701
  • And in greece, "hey, man, i don't like the way you cooked my
  • 00:17:02.701 --> 00:17:07.806
  • Eggs this morning, i'm outta here, we're getting a divorce."
  • 00:17:07.806 --> 00:17:10.375
  • Bang, it was done.
  • 00:17:10.375 --> 00:17:12.544
  • Promiscuous society.
  • 00:17:12.544 --> 00:17:14.413
  • And then when the romans came down to corinth and they began
  • 00:17:14.413 --> 00:17:17.616
  • To fill up other parts of world, suddenly the greek culture,
  • 00:17:17.616 --> 00:17:21.587
  • Though they lost the war, the greeks won the culture and now
  • 00:17:21.587 --> 00:17:25.124
  • Divorce was rampant there in corinth.
  • 00:17:25.124 --> 00:17:30.062
  • And so we see this is what happens.
  • 00:17:30.062 --> 00:17:34.600
  • You know about buyer's remorse?
  • 00:17:34.600 --> 00:17:39.805
  • Buyer's remorse?
  • 00:17:39.805 --> 00:17:41.573
  • You may not know that everything that is purchased--a study has
  • 00:17:41.573 --> 00:17:45.978
  • Been given--everything that had been purchased by all of us in
  • 00:17:45.978 --> 00:17:51.483
  • America, 486 billion items are returned.
  • 00:17:51.483 --> 00:17:57.523
  • That's 10.6% of everything we buy is returned.
  • 00:18:00.659 --> 00:18:07.399
  • And they have studied, realtor groups and sales groups, and
  • 00:18:07.466 --> 00:18:12.604
  • They study all this very carefully and they said, "why?"
  • 00:18:12.604 --> 00:18:16.808
  • And for two reasons.
  • 00:18:16.808 --> 00:18:20.512
  • Unmet expectations, number one.
  • 00:18:20.512 --> 00:18:25.083
  • It didn't work as simple for you as it did on television, right?
  • 00:18:25.083 --> 00:18:29.955
  • It didn't cure st. vitus disease as they thought he would, right?
  • 00:18:29.955 --> 00:18:35.127
  • Whatever.
  • 00:18:35.127 --> 00:18:37.095
  • Unmet expectations.
  • 00:18:37.095 --> 00:18:39.364
  • Number two, i got a better product.
  • 00:18:39.364 --> 00:18:44.369
  • I got a better product.
  • 00:18:44.369 --> 00:18:47.706
  • And does this sound like marriage today?
  • 00:18:47.706 --> 00:18:50.943
  • Getting married, "unexpected expectation, didn't live up to
  • 00:18:50.943 --> 00:18:55.047
  • It, therefore i'm getting divorced," or, "man, i've got
  • 00:18:55.047 --> 00:18:58.383
  • This fine, handsome guy, and he's interested in me, and i'm
  • 00:18:58.383 --> 00:19:02.621
  • Just moving away from you, partner, i've got a
  • 00:19:02.621 --> 00:19:05.290
  • Better thing."
  • 00:19:05.290 --> 00:19:07.626
  • Interesting in all of this, in the secular market, men usually
  • 00:19:07.626 --> 00:19:14.600
  • Realize first of all, in the secular buying and selling
  • 00:19:14.666 --> 00:19:18.203
  • World, they usually recognize, "it's not meeting my
  • 00:19:18.203 --> 00:19:22.040
  • Expectations," and they usually exercise the understanding
  • 00:19:22.040 --> 00:19:26.345
  • There's a better deal.
  • 00:19:26.345 --> 00:19:27.679
  • Men are fast at that but men rarely, compared to women,
  • 00:19:27.679 --> 00:19:31.984
  • Order refunds.
  • 00:19:31.984 --> 00:19:33.719
  • They don't send it back.
  • 00:19:33.719 --> 00:19:35.053
  • Women, man, they send it back, they want a refund, and the same
  • 00:19:35.053 --> 00:19:40.192
  • Way in marriage relationships.
  • 00:19:40.192 --> 00:19:42.728
  • Women file for divorce many times more than men do, though
  • 00:19:42.728 --> 00:19:47.266
  • Men realize the expectations aren't met and, "man, there may
  • 00:19:47.266 --> 00:19:51.236
  • Be a better one or a cuter one out here, a richer one
  • 00:19:51.236 --> 00:19:53.972
  • Out here."
  • 00:19:53.972 --> 00:19:55.540
  • Interesting.
  • 00:19:55.540 --> 00:19:57.976
  • Just like in divorce in ancient days, i'm sending her back, and
  • 00:19:57.976 --> 00:20:03.915
  • Here's the dowry that i gave you in the first place.
  • 00:20:03.915 --> 00:20:10.088
  • Divorce is deadly.
  • 00:20:10.088 --> 00:20:12.557
  • Biblical grounds for divorce, number one, the pharisees asked
  • 00:20:12.557 --> 00:20:17.896
  • Jesus, "what about divorce?"
  • 00:20:17.896 --> 00:20:19.765
  • Jesus says, "no divorce except," matthew 19, "for pornea, for
  • 00:20:19.765 --> 00:20:25.804
  • Sexual, for adultery."
  • 00:20:27.005 --> 00:20:29.641
  • But the pharisees wanted to trap him, they said, "oh, whoa, wait
  • 00:20:29.641 --> 00:20:33.145
  • A minute.
  • 00:20:33.145 --> 00:20:34.513
  • Moses said all you had to do is get two witnesses and give a
  • 00:20:34.513 --> 00:20:38.150
  • Certificate and you're divorced."
  • 00:20:38.150 --> 00:20:40.719
  • And jesus says, "it was not like that in the beginning, divorce
  • 00:20:40.719 --> 00:20:44.623
  • Takes place now because of hardness of heart."
  • 00:20:44.623 --> 00:20:50.529
  • Hardness of heart, what in the world is that?
  • 00:20:50.529 --> 00:20:54.666
  • Dispute with your wife, your husband, there's a bruised
  • 00:20:54.666 --> 00:20:58.770
  • Heart, right?
  • 00:20:58.770 --> 00:21:00.105
  • We all know that, and it sticks around for a while and that
  • 00:21:00.105 --> 00:21:03.608
  • Bruised heart becomes a cool heart.
  • 00:21:03.608 --> 00:21:07.746
  • We talk but it's very formal, "most certainly, i'll be happy
  • 00:21:07.746 --> 00:21:11.550
  • To do that."
  • 00:21:11.550 --> 00:21:12.951
  • It's a coolness, you know?
  • 00:21:12.951 --> 00:21:14.820
  • "don't sit there so pious, you're with me, i know."
  • 00:21:14.820 --> 00:21:18.557
  • There's a cool heart, and then that can move to a hard heart,
  • 00:21:18.557 --> 00:21:23.395
  • Arguing, fighting, ah-ah-ah.
  • 00:21:23.395 --> 00:21:26.131
  • And then it can move to an apathetic heart, that's a really
  • 00:21:26.131 --> 00:21:31.236
  • Big problem, "i don't care, what he does, i don't care what
  • 00:21:31.236 --> 00:21:33.905
  • She does."
  • 00:21:33.905 --> 00:21:36.441
  • But a hard heart, jesus said this is allowed because of
  • 00:21:36.441 --> 00:21:41.146
  • Marriages there comes this hard ungodly heart, and it's
  • 00:21:41.146 --> 00:21:45.117
  • Expressed through adultery, a grounds for divorce.
  • 00:21:45.117 --> 00:21:49.588
  • And then paul elaborates on this in our passage in this 7th
  • 00:21:49.588 --> 00:21:55.494
  • Chapter corinthians.
  • 00:21:55.494 --> 00:21:56.862
  • He talks about desertion, and that's a wide, expanding word.
  • 00:21:56.862 --> 00:22:01.266
  • You have to be careful how we use it, but it means here
  • 00:22:01.266 --> 00:22:04.136
  • Someone who is brutal, they're someone who goes to physical or
  • 00:22:04.136 --> 00:22:09.007
  • Overwhelming emotional put-downs, they deserted, they
  • 00:22:09.007 --> 00:22:13.845
  • Leave, they're not a part, they're there in body but
  • 00:22:13.845 --> 00:22:16.281
  • They're not there at all.
  • 00:22:16.281 --> 00:22:17.649
  • There's desertion is a ground, paul deals with that.
  • 00:22:17.649 --> 00:22:22.154
  • And then finally, the third ground is, it's found in 2
  • 00:22:22.154 --> 00:22:27.692
  • Corinthians chapter number 5, "if anyone is in christ, they're
  • 00:22:27.692 --> 00:22:33.732
  • A new creation."
  • 00:22:36.468 --> 00:22:38.637
  • All things are new.
  • 00:22:38.637 --> 00:22:41.740
  • What does it mean for all things to be new?
  • 00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:44.309
  • It means all things are new.
  • 00:22:44.309 --> 00:22:47.779
  • It means prior to being a christian there could be a
  • 00:22:47.779 --> 00:22:52.751
  • Divorce, and that divorce in god's sight no longer existed
  • 00:22:52.751 --> 00:22:57.355
  • Because you are a new man or a woman.
  • 00:22:57.355 --> 00:23:01.827
  • Now, let me tell you how serious this says, and i'll read you a
  • 00:23:01.827 --> 00:23:07.632
  • Tragic letter.
  • 00:23:07.632 --> 00:23:10.202
  • "i'm one of those sorry--" blankety-blank, profanity--
  • 00:23:10.202 --> 00:23:15.640
  • "that cheated on his wife of 20 years, and two kids, with her
  • 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:19.978
  • Best friend.
  • 00:23:19.978 --> 00:23:21.847
  • I married the best friend the day after my divorce was final,
  • 00:23:21.847 --> 00:23:26.384
  • And i regretted it ever since, every second of my life.
  • 00:23:26.384 --> 00:23:31.756
  • Yep, you get what you deserve in this life.
  • 00:23:31.756 --> 00:23:35.227
  • My divorce regret is immense.
  • 00:23:35.227 --> 00:23:38.563
  • I would give anything to go back in time knowing what i know now
  • 00:23:38.563 --> 00:23:44.002
  • And love my first wife like she's never been loved, honored,
  • 00:23:44.002 --> 00:23:47.472
  • Appreciated, respected, or admired in her life,
  • 00:23:47.472 --> 00:23:50.141
  • But i can't.
  • 00:23:50.141 --> 00:23:51.676
  • I've fouled up beyond words.
  • 00:23:51.676 --> 00:23:53.612
  • I had the best life anyone could have asked for, a beautiful,
  • 00:23:53.612 --> 00:23:57.315
  • Loving, caring, dedicated wife, two beautiful, sweet kids, an
  • 00:23:57.315 --> 00:24:02.187
  • In-law family that loved me dearly, but i was bored with
  • 00:24:02.187 --> 00:24:05.857
  • All that.
  • 00:24:05.857 --> 00:24:07.792
  • People kept telling me how blessed i was, but i couldn't
  • 00:24:07.792 --> 00:24:10.595
  • See it.
  • 00:24:10.595 --> 00:24:11.963
  • I was blinded by selfishness, so i threw it all away to someone
  • 00:24:11.963 --> 00:24:16.535
  • That i thought was my soulmate.
  • 00:24:16.535 --> 00:24:19.137
  • Oh, how wrong i was, so wrong.
  • 00:24:19.137 --> 00:24:23.608
  • Five years later, i still can't ignore the overwhelming guilt
  • 00:24:23.608 --> 00:24:28.213
  • And shame of what i did.
  • 00:24:28.213 --> 00:24:30.282
  • Only for a couple of minutes a day does a memory of my first
  • 00:24:30.282 --> 00:24:34.185
  • Wife and kids and family leave my mind.
  • 00:24:34.185 --> 00:24:38.490
  • I can't watch a movie or listen to music without thinking
  • 00:24:38.490 --> 00:24:41.860
  • Of her.
  • 00:24:41.860 --> 00:24:43.228
  • See, i was already married to my soulmate and my true love, but i
  • 00:24:43.228 --> 00:24:48.833
  • Threw her away.
  • 00:24:48.833 --> 00:24:51.169
  • Oh, if only life was like the movies, where sometimes we get
  • 00:24:51.169 --> 00:24:56.241
  • Second chances.
  • 00:24:56.241 --> 00:24:58.176
  • I can't put into words how much pain i feel, but i know it pales
  • 00:24:58.176 --> 00:25:02.514
  • In comparison to how i broke my wife's heart.
  • 00:25:02.514 --> 00:25:07.218
  • I'm so sorry, sweetness.
  • 00:25:07.218 --> 00:25:09.721
  • If you ever read this, i'm so sorry, so very, very sorry.
  • 00:25:09.721 --> 00:25:15.827
  • The irony of what i've done is this: i've broken my own
  • 00:25:15.827 --> 00:25:21.366
  • Heart, anonymous."
  • 00:25:21.366 --> 00:25:26.738
  • Now, folks, don't let divorce define your life.
  • 00:25:26.738 --> 00:25:32.777
  • Whatever, guilty, not guilty, whatever.
  • 00:25:35.947 --> 00:25:40.885
  • God and jesus christ heals, restores, forgives, and gives us
  • 00:25:40.885 --> 00:25:46.825
  • A brand-new start, and with the power of christ in your life and
  • 00:25:46.825 --> 00:25:51.796
  • The holy spirit, there can be joy in the days to come.
  • 00:25:51.796 --> 00:25:56.134
  • That is the thrust of god's word.
  • 00:25:56.134 --> 00:26:00.538
  • [congregation applauding]
  • 00:26:00.538 --> 00:26:04.476
  • Ed: we have so much to be thankful for.
  • 00:26:06.011 --> 00:26:09.481
  • And i wanna thank you for your faithfulness, your generosity,
  • 00:26:09.481 --> 00:26:12.384
  • Your prayers as part of the "winning walk" family.
  • 00:26:12.384 --> 00:26:15.553
  • I'm reminded of a story of a young american soldier
  • 00:26:15.553 --> 00:26:18.857
  • In world war ii.
  • 00:26:18.857 --> 00:26:20.925
  • It was on the eve of when he was to ship out for what would later
  • 00:26:20.925 --> 00:26:23.962
  • Become known as d-day.
  • 00:26:23.962 --> 00:26:26.464
  • The british allies held a dance at the uso.
  • 00:26:26.464 --> 00:26:30.235
  • The soldier was just 18 years old.
  • 00:26:30.235 --> 00:26:32.504
  • He asked an english girl to dance, and when the music
  • 00:26:32.504 --> 00:26:35.774
  • Stopped, he spontaneously kissed her.
  • 00:26:35.774 --> 00:26:39.611
  • She drew back, shocked.
  • 00:26:39.611 --> 00:26:42.280
  • She asked him what in the world was he doing.
  • 00:26:42.280 --> 00:26:45.717
  • He answered honestly, "i ship out in the morning.
  • 00:26:45.717 --> 00:26:49.554
  • And i don't know what lies ahead, i'll live or die,
  • 00:26:49.554 --> 00:26:52.691
  • And i've never kissed a girl before, so i thought
  • 00:26:52.691 --> 00:26:56.861
  • This was a time for boldness."
  • 00:26:56.861 --> 00:26:59.631
  • We live in an embattled culture.
  • 00:26:59.631 --> 00:27:02.534
  • Now is the time for boldness.
  • 00:27:02.534 --> 00:27:04.202
  • I believe that together we can finish the year strong and be
  • 00:27:04.202 --> 00:27:07.872
  • Ready to start in 2026 with strength and boldness
  • 00:27:07.872 --> 00:27:12.143
  • In sharing the truth of jesus christ
  • 00:27:12.143 --> 00:27:15.380
  • To a dark and hungry world.
  • 00:27:15.380 --> 00:27:18.016
  • Thank you again for boldly giving and
  • 00:27:18.016 --> 00:27:20.485
  • Standing with "the winning walk," with me through
  • 00:27:20.485 --> 00:27:23.121
  • Your prayers and support.
  • 00:27:23.121 --> 00:27:25.523
  • God bless you.
  • 00:27:25.523 --> 00:27:25.523