Better Together LIVE | Episode 94 | TBN
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Better Together LIVE | Episode 94

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 94
Better Together
August 20, 2020
26:00

Who helped you understand God's purpose for your life? How can we encourage the next generation to pursue His plans? Let's talk about it! | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 94

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  • - The Bible says, "Train up achild in the way he should go,
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  • "and when he is old hewill not depart from it."
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  • Well, it sounds simple enough,
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  • but every parent knows thechallenges all too well.
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  • How can we help thenext generation,
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  • know God's purposefor their lives,
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  • no matter what theworld throws at them?
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  • Come on, let's talk about it.
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  • (upbeat music)
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  • - All week, we've beentalking about purpose,
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  • and how we wannafind our purpose.
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  • And, you know, I think onepurpose that all of us have,
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  • is to help otherscultivate their purpose.
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  • You know, as women, andespecially as mothers,
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  • we want our childrento bind their purpose.
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  • We want them to fill equipped,
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  • to live this life successfully.
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  • And I think one of the bestways that we can do that,
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  • is to give ourchildren the blessing.
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  • What do I mean, givethem the blessing.
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  • I mean, speak blessingsinto their life.
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  • You know, I thinkabout what God did,
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  • when Jesus was baptized.
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  • And he came upout of that water,
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  • the Scripture says that he said,
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  • "This is my beloved son inwhom I am well pleased."
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  • God spoke the blessinginto Jesus' life.
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  • And you know what, notonly does our actions,
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  • but our words needto be blessings,
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  • when it comes to our children,
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  • because you know, really,
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  • you can think a lot ofthings about your kids.
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  • You can think howsmart they are.
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  • You can think howtalented they are,
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  • but you know, a blessingis not a blessing,
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  • until it's spoken.
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  • So, they not only need tofeel loved and supported,
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  • but they need to hearwhat you think about them.
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  • They need to hear the blessing.
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  • And I think that makes allthe difference in the world.
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  • My parents were good atgiving me the blessing,
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  • and I am so grateful for that.
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  • They always talked aboutthe good things in me.
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  • They spoke the blessing in me,
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  • and I think because of that,
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  • I've been able to dothat to my own children.
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  • And you know what,it's so important,
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  • that our children feelloved and supported at home,
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  • because that home is somethingthat nurtures and cultivates
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  • that purpose so whenthey go outside the home,
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  • they have a rich, a blessingthat they can stand on,
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  • that they can drawfrom so to speak.
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  • So, I think one of the greatestthings that we can do girls,
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  • and I know that you all do thesame thing to your children,
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  • which is so beautiful,is to speak the blessing,
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  • and to let them be whoGod called them to be,
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  • with their unique personalities.
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  • I've found out that,
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  • there's more than oneway to do something.
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  • It's not always my way.
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  • There's more than oneway to get to a location.
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  • I put in my maps the otherday how to get to a location,
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  • and it gave me twodifferent routes.
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  • And I thought, "Well, okay,which route do I take?"
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  • Well, it's the same waywith the people in our life.
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  • You know, there's differentways to get to a destination,
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  • and sometimes wehave to sit back,
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  • and we have to learnhow they did it,
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  • and appreciate how they did it,
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  • and then be able tobring out of them,
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  • the talents thatyou see in them.
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  • So, you know, I've learnedthat it's not always my way,
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  • is the only wayor the right way,
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  • but there's a lot of othergood ways to do things.
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  • And I think that's ablessing in itself,
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  • to just be ableto recognize that,
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  • and to support thepeople in our life.
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  • Our children or maybe ournieces or nephews, you know,
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  • just the people thatGod's put in our life,
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  • to have that place thatthey can feel loved,
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  • and blessed and supported.
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  • - Oh, that's so good.
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  • I believe that speakingover your kids, you know.
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  • This week I was reminded byPhil of this story about,
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  • when Da Vinci was makingthe big statue of David,
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  • and they asked the Vinci, "Howin the world did you that?"
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  • And it's a magnificent piece.
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  • And he said, "Ijust closed my eyes,
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  • "and in my mind I sawthis picture of David."
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  • And he said, "I juststarted chipping away,
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  • "what was not David."
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  • - Yes.
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  • - And I think that'swhat God does to us.
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  • He just starts chippingaway what's not us.
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  • I remember Victoria, I usedto tell the boys, my kids,
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  • when they were little,they would cop an attitude,
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  • or do something and I would say,
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  • "Oh, that's not like you.
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  • "That that's not you.
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  • "That's not who you are."
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  • And telling them,not necessarily...
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  • I told them who they wereand I spoke over them too,
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  • but I also told them,
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  • when things rose up,ugly little things,
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  • I said, "That is not you."
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  • And we chip that away.
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  • So, I was helping Godchip at my kids saying,
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  • "That's not you,that's not you."
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  • Da Vinci took thisbeautiful statue,
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  • and he just chipped awayat what was not David.
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  • And we see then this beautiful.
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  • It's not that Godlooks at us and says,
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  • "Oh, I don't likethat about you."
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  • Chip chip, chip, chip, chipand starts banging on us.
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  • He just chips away what'snot us and I love that.
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  • - Well, you know, the Scripture,
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  • that we used in the beginning,
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  • "Train up a child inthe way he should go,
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  • "and when he's old hewill not depart from it."
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  • That Scripture isactually interpreted,
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  • "Train up a child according totheir bent and personality."
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  • And a lot of times there'sno one cookie cutter way,
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  • to raise all of your children.
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  • All three of my adult childrenare totally different.
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  • And in raising themtowards the things of God,
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  • and trying to raisethem to have a heart,
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  • and love and compassionand love for God,
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  • it was different foreach one of them.
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  • And to help them findpurpose was different,
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  • because their personalitieswere so different,
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  • from one another.
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  • And I remember God'sputting a word in my heart,
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  • for each one of my kids,
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  • and that helped guideme through the process.
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  • But you train a child,
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  • according to theirbent and personality.
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  • And sometimes we geta preconceived idea,
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  • of what we think our kids shouldbe like, I know I had that.
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  • Then we would tell our kids,
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  • "Go after your dream,go after your dream."
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  • "There's so muchthat you can do."
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  • And then when theygrew up and they said,
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  • "This is what we wanna to do."
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  • And it was like, "Oh, no, no,
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  • "that's not the dreamwe had for you."
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  • But you have to letthat go and say,
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  • "God has a purpose for them."
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  • You encourage them.
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  • You build them up.
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  • You say to them attimes, "That's not you.
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  • "That behavior, that'snot who you really are."
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  • And we build them up.
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  • We speak into their lives,
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  • and then we support themthrough the process,
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  • of them finding theircalling and their purpose,
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  • and walking towardstheir destiny.
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  • And nowadays is sodifficult for young people.
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  • It's not like there's,
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  • you do this or you dothis or you do this.
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  • There's so many things there.
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  • It's very confusing for them.
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  • And for many of them, they don'tknow what their purpose is.
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  • And I appreciate whatHolly said earlier that,
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  • you know, getting wisdom.
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  • And I pray for my kidswhen I'm not with them,
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  • that the Lord would send divineinfluences in their lives.
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  • And perhaps even,maybe there's somebody,
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  • that would have teenagers,
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  • and the teenagersaren't listening to you.
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  • Well, know what you do?
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  • You pray first of all.
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  • And then secondly, you pray,
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  • that God would send divineinfluences in their life,
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  • where you can't say anything,
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  • that makes a difference tothem but somebody else can.
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  • God can use somebodyelse's voice to do that,
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  • to help move themtowards their purpose.
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  • - That's so good.- Amen. Amen.
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  • I totally agreewith you Jeannie.
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  • You know, raisingkids, I only have two.
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  • I call them Alpha and Omega.
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  • My mom had 10 children.
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  • She had seven boys first.
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  • I was the first girl and Ihave two younger sisters.
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  • And she's still alive,in her right mind.
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  • (laughs)
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  • It's a miracle. She's amazing.
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  • (chuckles)
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  • But my kids are grownand actually I'mabout to be a G-Mom.
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  • My daughter is pregnantand I'm so excited.
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  • I don't know what to do.
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  • (laughing)
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  • - The best thingever to (mumbles)
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  • - Oh, I hear it is,I'm joining the club.
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  • I'm joining the club.
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  • I am so excited about that.
  • 00:08:45.948 --> 00:08:47.950
  • But you know, I had two,a son and a daughter,
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  • and you guys have all saidthis and it's so important.
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  • If I had it to do it over again.
  • 00:08:54.223 --> 00:08:56.592
  • And I wanna help all theyoung mothers out there.
  • 00:08:56.592 --> 00:08:58.494
  • you know, I was grateful tohave parents who raised me,
  • 00:08:58.494 --> 00:09:01.597
  • to love God with all ofmy heart, soul, and mind.
  • 00:09:01.597 --> 00:09:04.567
  • And so a lot of times wetake the way we were raised,
  • 00:09:04.567 --> 00:09:09.071
  • which is awesome andwe automatically think,
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  • that's the way we'resupposed to raise our kids.
  • 00:09:12.141 --> 00:09:15.044
  • Yes, I raised mine to love God,
  • 00:09:15.044 --> 00:09:17.213
  • with all their heart,soul, and mind,
  • 00:09:17.213 --> 00:09:18.581
  • but I think it wasJeannie who said,
  • 00:09:18.581 --> 00:09:20.783
  • they have differentpersonalities, you know.
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  • They have the same parentsare in the same house.
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  • You're going tothe same services.
  • 00:09:25.388 --> 00:09:26.889
  • You're giving themthe same lessons,
  • 00:09:26.889 --> 00:09:28.391
  • but they have differentpersonalities.
  • 00:09:28.391 --> 00:09:30.226
  • So, the thing that I wishI would have did more,
  • 00:09:30.226 --> 00:09:32.995
  • when I was young, it'sjust asked the Holy Spirit,
  • 00:09:32.995 --> 00:09:35.531
  • "What is your purposefor my child's life?
  • 00:09:35.531 --> 00:09:37.933
  • "How should I raise them?
  • 00:09:37.933 --> 00:09:39.268
  • "How should Icultivate this gift?"
  • 00:09:39.268 --> 00:09:41.671
  • 'Cause as mothers, a lotof times we think we know.
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  • And a lot of times, you know,we have wisdom, of course,
  • 00:09:45.641 --> 00:09:47.977
  • but it's the Holy Spirit.
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  • He knows for sure exactlyhow to cultivate that child.
  • 00:09:50.913 --> 00:09:55.918
  • And so I think whenwe involve him,
  • 00:09:57.053 --> 00:09:59.422
  • not when I think, Iknow when we ask him,
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  • to give us that wisdomwe need to cultivate,
  • 00:10:02.391 --> 00:10:05.895
  • that son, that daughter,he's gonna give you a way,
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  • that you had neverthought of before,
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  • and it's gonna link inperfectly for that child.
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  • So, just begin to invite him.
  • 00:10:15.671 --> 00:10:17.707
  • Invite the Holy Spirit inthe cultivating process.
  • 00:10:17.707 --> 00:10:21.811
  • - Exactly.
  • 00:10:21.811 --> 00:10:22.778
  • And I started about stage moms.
  • 00:10:22.778 --> 00:10:26.515
  • Some of the television showsI was on there would be kids.
  • 00:10:26.515 --> 00:10:28.918
  • And so then they had oneof the parents with them,
  • 00:10:28.918 --> 00:10:31.253
  • and then I think therewas like a TV show about,
  • 00:10:31.253 --> 00:10:34.757
  • like stage moms or pageantkid girls or something anyway.
  • 00:10:34.757 --> 00:10:37.793
  • Now while there area few good ones,
  • 00:10:39.462 --> 00:10:41.030
  • there was a lot of crazy ones.
  • 00:10:41.030 --> 00:10:43.232
  • And I realized that whatmade them difficult,
  • 00:10:43.232 --> 00:10:48.237
  • was that they wereliving vicariously,
  • 00:10:48.237 --> 00:10:51.707
  • through their childhood.
  • 00:10:51.707 --> 00:10:52.942
  • It's like what theydidn't get as a child,
  • 00:10:52.942 --> 00:10:55.010
  • then they're tryingto live that life.
  • 00:10:55.010 --> 00:10:57.513
  • And I just think that's whereit gets really unfair, right,
  • 00:10:57.513 --> 00:11:01.150
  • for our kids.
  • 00:11:01.150 --> 00:11:01.984
  • Is like it's their turn.
  • 00:11:01.984 --> 00:11:04.420
  • It's their turn to walkout and figure out,
  • 00:11:04.420 --> 00:11:06.455
  • who it is that God'sasking them to be.
  • 00:11:06.455 --> 00:11:08.791
  • It's their turn touse their gifts.
  • 00:11:08.791 --> 00:11:10.993
  • And when we put pressure onour kids to be a certain thing,
  • 00:11:10.993 --> 00:11:15.698
  • then that's where it's unfair.
  • 00:11:16.999 --> 00:11:19.201
  • And so I started thinkingabout when it says,
  • 00:11:19.201 --> 00:11:21.871
  • "Train up a child," likeJeannie read in the beginning,
  • 00:11:21.871 --> 00:11:23.773
  • I think or Laurie, somebody,somebody Holly, said,
  • 00:11:23.773 --> 00:11:26.108
  • "Train up a child," right?
  • 00:11:26.108 --> 00:11:28.110
  • So, what is it that we'retraining them to do?
  • 00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:30.579
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:11:30.579 --> 00:11:31.514
  • So, we're training them to love.
  • 00:11:31.514 --> 00:11:33.916
  • We're training them to forgive.
  • 00:11:33.916 --> 00:11:35.951
  • We're training them to trust.
  • 00:11:35.951 --> 00:11:38.087
  • We're training themto persevere, right?
  • 00:11:38.087 --> 00:11:40.656
  • And then we can't trainthem if we're not living it.
  • 00:11:40.656 --> 00:11:44.059
  • So, if I'm justbeing the stage mom,
  • 00:11:44.059 --> 00:11:45.628
  • because I'm trying to get mychild to do a certain thing,
  • 00:11:45.628 --> 00:11:49.131
  • but I'm not living that waythen that's just ridiculous.
  • 00:11:49.131 --> 00:11:51.934
  • So, I think that's wherewe have to be honest,
  • 00:11:51.934 --> 00:11:53.569
  • with our own self andeverybody has to be honest.
  • 00:11:53.569 --> 00:11:56.071
  • It's like, "Am Iliving the character,
  • 00:11:56.071 --> 00:11:58.841
  • "that I'm actuallydemanding my child be?"
  • 00:11:59.942 --> 00:12:02.578
  • Or am I puttingthis undue pressure,
  • 00:12:02.578 --> 00:12:05.714
  • or is it just kind ofam I being hypocrite?
  • 00:12:05.714 --> 00:12:08.384
  • And again, I knownone of you are,
  • 00:12:08.384 --> 00:12:09.785
  • 'cause y'all are Holy people.
  • 00:12:09.785 --> 00:12:11.220
  • But sometimes I thinkthat's what happens, right?
  • 00:12:11.220 --> 00:12:13.489
  • We put this pressureon them to be,
  • 00:12:13.489 --> 00:12:15.291
  • and we're not actuallyreally being it.
  • 00:12:15.291 --> 00:12:18.527
  • I started thinking,you know what,
  • 00:12:19.929 --> 00:12:21.897
  • Victoria just saidabout the blessing,
  • 00:12:21.897 --> 00:12:24.466
  • which is an incrediblypowerful spiritual dynamic.
  • 00:12:25.868 --> 00:12:30.406
  • I mean, life-changing dynamic.
  • 00:12:30.406 --> 00:12:33.475
  • And I imagine there aremany people watching,
  • 00:12:33.475 --> 00:12:36.245
  • and you did not get theblessing from your parents.
  • 00:12:36.245 --> 00:12:38.814
  • The statistics ofabuse is staggering.
  • 00:12:39.982 --> 00:12:42.451
  • So in fact, not only didyou not get the blessing,
  • 00:12:42.451 --> 00:12:44.653
  • but you were not treatedwith honor and respect.
  • 00:12:44.653 --> 00:12:49.658
  • And so if I could just encourageyou and say, you know what?
  • 00:12:51.060 --> 00:12:54.563
  • You can be the onethat turns it around.
  • 00:12:54.563 --> 00:12:57.299
  • You can be the one right now,
  • 00:12:57.299 --> 00:12:59.235
  • that you may not have gottenthe blessing yourself,
  • 00:12:59.235 --> 00:13:01.837
  • but to perhaps do thework and figure out,
  • 00:13:01.837 --> 00:13:04.940
  • who it is that God says you are.
  • 00:13:04.940 --> 00:13:07.009
  • And then you in turn,
  • 00:13:07.009 --> 00:13:08.510
  • turn around and give theblessing to your children.
  • 00:13:08.510 --> 00:13:11.113
  • You start speakinglife over them,
  • 00:13:11.113 --> 00:13:12.882
  • even though that'snot what you heard,
  • 00:13:12.882 --> 00:13:14.783
  • you start speaking life overthem, not to force or correct,
  • 00:13:16.218 --> 00:13:19.188
  • or, you know, be thehelicopter parent,
  • 00:13:19.188 --> 00:13:23.158
  • but you're blessing them.
  • 00:13:23.158 --> 00:13:25.461
  • You can change a generation.
  • 00:13:25.461 --> 00:13:27.229
  • My dad was never told byhis parents, he was loved.
  • 00:13:27.229 --> 00:13:31.901
  • I mean, he was taken care of.
  • 00:13:31.901 --> 00:13:33.569
  • They were nice people butthey never told that to him.
  • 00:13:35.337 --> 00:13:39.208
  • And he made a decision as anadult that with his children,
  • 00:13:39.208 --> 00:13:43.379
  • he was gonna tell themthey were loved every day.
  • 00:13:43.379 --> 00:13:45.948
  • And I was told every dayby my dad that I was loved.
  • 00:13:45.948 --> 00:13:50.719
  • I was embraced every day.
  • 00:13:50.719 --> 00:13:52.755
  • And so I'm just saying that,
  • 00:13:52.755 --> 00:13:53.989
  • you may not have gottenfrom your parents,
  • 00:13:53.989 --> 00:13:55.624
  • but you can actually be theone that makes the shift.
  • 00:13:55.624 --> 00:14:00.195
  • You can actually change thetraining trajectory if you will,
  • 00:14:00.195 --> 00:14:04.233
  • (chuckles)
  • 00:14:04.233 --> 00:14:05.434
  • of your family.
  • 00:14:05.434 --> 00:14:06.869
  • Anyway, those are my thoughts.
  • 00:14:06.869 --> 00:14:07.803
  • What do you think, Victoria?
  • 00:14:07.803 --> 00:14:09.305
  • - I think that's great becausethere are people out there,
  • 00:14:09.305 --> 00:14:11.974
  • who didn't receive the love,
  • 00:14:11.974 --> 00:14:15.244
  • and the attentionand the support.
  • 00:14:15.244 --> 00:14:17.379
  • And it's never too lateeven in your own children.
  • 00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:21.417
  • Maybe some people outthere today are like,
  • 00:14:21.417 --> 00:14:24.153
  • "well, I'm a strangerfor my children.
  • 00:14:24.153 --> 00:14:26.088
  • "We don't have therelationship I'd like to have."
  • 00:14:26.088 --> 00:14:29.091
  • But you know what?
  • 00:14:29.091 --> 00:14:30.626
  • It's never too late to evenstart speaking the blessing.
  • 00:14:30.626 --> 00:14:33.128
  • And so I think that moreis caught than taught.
  • 00:14:33.128 --> 00:14:38.133
  • And you can changea lot of things,
  • 00:14:39.735 --> 00:14:42.538
  • when you begin tobe that example.
  • 00:14:42.538 --> 00:14:45.374
  • And it's like yousaid, Holly, you know,
  • 00:14:45.374 --> 00:14:47.943
  • sometimes we don't havethe same maybe character.
  • 00:14:47.943 --> 00:14:51.613
  • Like you were talkingabout the stage mom.
  • 00:14:51.613 --> 00:14:53.716
  • She wants her child to be that,
  • 00:14:53.716 --> 00:14:55.184
  • but she's over herebeing something else.
  • 00:14:55.184 --> 00:14:57.886
  • But that doesn't teachanybody anything,
  • 00:14:57.886 --> 00:14:59.989
  • because more iscaught than taught.
  • 00:14:59.989 --> 00:15:02.257
  • Actually your examplespeaks louder than words.
  • 00:15:02.257 --> 00:15:05.661
  • And so when your childrenseeing you be kind,
  • 00:15:05.661 --> 00:15:09.765
  • when they see that youare able to forgive,
  • 00:15:09.765 --> 00:15:13.302
  • that you don't criticizepeople in the home,
  • 00:15:13.302 --> 00:15:15.604
  • you're not talking about people,
  • 00:15:15.604 --> 00:15:17.406
  • that goes a long wayin their character.
  • 00:15:17.406 --> 00:15:20.876
  • You know, I always think that,
  • 00:15:20.876 --> 00:15:22.811
  • you go out to a place andit's a new environment say,
  • 00:15:22.811 --> 00:15:27.049
  • and there's a lot ofthings coming at you,
  • 00:15:27.049 --> 00:15:28.684
  • that you're not used to,
  • 00:15:28.684 --> 00:15:30.352
  • you're gonna kindashy away from that.
  • 00:15:30.352 --> 00:15:32.354
  • That's not the norm for you.
  • 00:15:32.354 --> 00:15:34.757
  • So, it's gonna be a real pause,
  • 00:15:34.757 --> 00:15:37.092
  • but if you're used to it,
  • 00:15:37.092 --> 00:15:39.595
  • then you just go aheadand participate in it.
  • 00:15:39.595 --> 00:15:42.031
  • And so I think that,
  • 00:15:42.031 --> 00:15:43.565
  • that helps put some guardrails on children's lives.
  • 00:15:43.565 --> 00:15:47.669
  • What they're used to.
  • 00:15:47.669 --> 00:15:49.338
  • What they've been exposed to.
  • 00:15:49.338 --> 00:15:51.273
  • And so I thinkthat's a good reason,
  • 00:15:51.273 --> 00:15:55.277
  • to check up on your own selflike you're saying Holly,
  • 00:15:55.277 --> 00:15:58.781
  • and make sure thatyou're acting,
  • 00:15:58.781 --> 00:16:00.916
  • the way you would wantyour children to act.
  • 00:16:00.916 --> 00:16:03.252
  • You're handling situations,
  • 00:16:03.252 --> 00:16:04.853
  • the way you'd want your childrento handle the situations.
  • 00:16:04.853 --> 00:16:07.790
  • Because, you know, children,especially small ones,
  • 00:16:07.790 --> 00:16:11.760
  • I even think grownones, I really do.
  • 00:16:11.760 --> 00:16:14.463
  • Those seeds are always planted.
  • 00:16:14.463 --> 00:16:16.098
  • You're always a parent.
  • 00:16:16.098 --> 00:16:18.000
  • If they act like they'relistening to you or not,
  • 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:20.636
  • that seed is going in.
  • 00:16:20.636 --> 00:16:22.638
  • They are still likevideo recorders on legs.
  • 00:16:22.638 --> 00:16:27.209
  • I'm not kidding,
  • 00:16:27.209 --> 00:16:28.710
  • because my mother can tellme something right now,
  • 00:16:28.710 --> 00:16:31.313
  • and as much as Idon't wanna hear it,
  • 00:16:31.313 --> 00:16:33.682
  • when I'll walk away, I'mlike, "She is probably right.
  • 00:16:33.682 --> 00:16:37.086
  • "She's always right,it makes me so mad."
  • 00:16:37.086 --> 00:16:39.922
  • (laughing)
  • 00:16:39.922 --> 00:16:40.756
  • "She's always right."
  • 00:16:40.756 --> 00:16:42.224
  • It may take me a little while,
  • 00:16:42.224 --> 00:16:44.726
  • to digest it and to say, "okay."
  • 00:16:44.726 --> 00:16:46.995
  • But you know what?
  • 00:16:46.995 --> 00:16:48.363
  • She's got a track record.
  • 00:16:48.363 --> 00:16:50.099
  • She's proven, youknow, she's been there.
  • 00:16:50.099 --> 00:16:53.836
  • And so even though maybe it'snot something I wanna hear,
  • 00:16:53.836 --> 00:16:56.872
  • I am open minded to it.
  • 00:16:56.872 --> 00:16:59.374
  • And you know, sometimesI have to go back,
  • 00:16:59.374 --> 00:17:01.043
  • and I have to remind myselfto tell her, thank you.
  • 00:17:01.043 --> 00:17:04.746
  • You know, one thing, let mejust tell you this quick story.
  • 00:17:04.746 --> 00:17:07.749
  • And I don't know, don'ty'all judge me on this.
  • 00:17:07.749 --> 00:17:10.586
  • But one thing my motherdid that always blessed me,
  • 00:17:10.586 --> 00:17:15.157
  • and that is when Iwas a young bride,
  • 00:17:15.157 --> 00:17:17.893
  • and I would have likedisagreements with Joel,
  • 00:17:17.893 --> 00:17:21.430
  • or I would think,
  • 00:17:21.430 --> 00:17:22.664
  • "I don't like, whyhe's doing that,
  • 00:17:22.664 --> 00:17:23.799
  • and why is he doing that?"
  • 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:25.067
  • And I tell my mother,
  • 00:17:25.067 --> 00:17:27.002
  • she would never side with me.
  • 00:17:27.002 --> 00:17:29.771
  • She always brought meback to my husband.
  • 00:17:29.771 --> 00:17:33.308
  • She's like, "Well, youknow, he is such a good man,
  • 00:17:33.308 --> 00:17:36.612
  • "and he's such a hard worker.
  • 00:17:36.612 --> 00:17:38.113
  • Or "Now Victoria, youneed to get over yourself,
  • 00:17:38.113 --> 00:17:41.817
  • "and you need to..."
  • 00:17:41.817 --> 00:17:43.318
  • And you know, I didn'tlike to hear that.
  • 00:17:43.318 --> 00:17:45.320
  • I wanted her to go, "Yeah,why is he doing that?
  • 00:17:45.320 --> 00:17:47.256
  • "What's wrong with him."
  • 00:17:47.256 --> 00:17:49.057
  • We know Joel's perfect butjust for all y'all out there.
  • 00:17:49.057 --> 00:17:52.361
  • (laughing)
  • 00:17:52.361 --> 00:17:54.596
  • So, she always pointed mein the right direction.
  • 00:17:56.398 --> 00:17:59.034
  • And I think as a parent that'sone thing that we should do.
  • 00:17:59.034 --> 00:18:02.070
  • We should always, nomatter what our opinion is,
  • 00:18:02.070 --> 00:18:05.140
  • point our children inthe right direction.
  • 00:18:05.140 --> 00:18:07.709
  • Build that character in themso that when they go out,
  • 00:18:07.709 --> 00:18:11.747
  • and they encounterfriendships relationships,
  • 00:18:11.747 --> 00:18:15.184
  • they have somethingto draw from,
  • 00:18:15.184 --> 00:18:17.352
  • and that purposeand that destiny,
  • 00:18:17.352 --> 00:18:19.454
  • is already built into them.
  • 00:18:19.454 --> 00:18:21.757
  • - Yeah, Victoria,you leave Joel alone.
  • 00:18:21.757 --> 00:18:24.626
  • You be nice to him.
  • 00:18:24.626 --> 00:18:25.761
  • (laughing)
  • 00:18:25.761 --> 00:18:27.262
  • - I know, I'll always get introuble if I talk about Joel.
  • 00:18:27.262 --> 00:18:29.665
  • (laughing)
  • 00:18:29.665 --> 00:18:31.900
  • - You know, I love that too,
  • 00:18:33.202 --> 00:18:34.469
  • because our moms arevery much the same.
  • 00:18:34.469 --> 00:18:36.538
  • I love your sweet momma.
  • 00:18:36.538 --> 00:18:38.173
  • She's just amazing.
  • 00:18:38.173 --> 00:18:39.575
  • And my mom alwaysdid the same thing.
  • 00:18:40.742 --> 00:18:42.711
  • She always said, "Youstand behind that family.
  • 00:18:42.711 --> 00:18:45.180
  • "You are with that family.
  • 00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:46.515
  • "God puts you in that family."
  • 00:18:46.515 --> 00:18:48.350
  • My grandmother, myown grandmother,
  • 00:18:50.285 --> 00:18:53.388
  • every time I'dcall her, she'd go,
  • 00:18:53.388 --> 00:18:54.723
  • "How are you treating Matt?"
  • 00:18:54.723 --> 00:18:56.391
  • (laughing)
  • 00:18:56.391 --> 00:18:57.859
  • And I'd say, "Well, I thinkI'm treating him okay."
  • 00:18:57.859 --> 00:18:59.995
  • But that was number one,take care of your man.
  • 00:18:59.995 --> 00:19:03.198
  • I love that, you know.
  • 00:19:04.199 --> 00:19:05.667
  • I know that there'sprobably a lot of people,
  • 00:19:05.667 --> 00:19:07.402
  • watching right now that maybetheir kids have gone off,
  • 00:19:07.402 --> 00:19:12.374
  • and they didn'tspeak that blessing.
  • 00:19:13.542 --> 00:19:15.577
  • Their children maybe,
  • 00:19:18.113 --> 00:19:19.381
  • haven't found purposeand destiny Jeannie.
  • 00:19:19.381 --> 00:19:21.483
  • What do we say to those women,
  • 00:19:23.185 --> 00:19:25.954
  • that maybe don't have any hope?
  • 00:19:25.954 --> 00:19:28.056
  • - Well, first of all.
  • 00:19:28.056 --> 00:19:29.858
  • Mothers are always looking,
  • 00:19:29.858 --> 00:19:31.460
  • for signs of improvementin their children.
  • 00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:33.562
  • It doesn't matter whatage that they are.
  • 00:19:33.562 --> 00:19:35.063
  • You're always looking.
  • 00:19:35.063 --> 00:19:36.498
  • But I think what happenssometimes is when our kids grow,
  • 00:19:36.498 --> 00:19:41.403
  • and they come to an agewhere they make decisions.
  • 00:19:41.403 --> 00:19:43.905
  • You may have doneall the right stuff,
  • 00:19:43.905 --> 00:19:46.408
  • but your kids still makedecisions that are different,
  • 00:19:46.408 --> 00:19:49.111
  • than what you wouldlike for them to make.
  • 00:19:49.111 --> 00:19:51.847
  • We have two of our sons thatare on the scenic route to God.
  • 00:19:51.847 --> 00:19:55.817
  • And there were times that Ifelt like I blessed my kids.
  • 00:19:55.817 --> 00:20:00.756
  • I did all the right stuff,
  • 00:20:00.756 --> 00:20:02.157
  • but then they make decisionsthat are different,
  • 00:20:02.157 --> 00:20:03.992
  • and your heart isbroken at times,
  • 00:20:03.992 --> 00:20:06.495
  • or it feels heavy at times.
  • 00:20:06.495 --> 00:20:08.330
  • And that's where youhave to trust the Lord.
  • 00:20:08.330 --> 00:20:12.167
  • I remember prayingone time for my kids.
  • 00:20:12.167 --> 00:20:14.770
  • And we had a very difficultseason in our life,
  • 00:20:14.770 --> 00:20:18.974
  • with one of our kids.
  • 00:20:18.974 --> 00:20:20.509
  • And I remember I'd say,"Lord, how do I fix this?
  • 00:20:20.509 --> 00:20:24.179
  • "How can I fix this?
  • 00:20:24.179 --> 00:20:25.580
  • "I'm a fixer, let's just fix it,
  • 00:20:25.580 --> 00:20:27.049
  • "and then everythingis good to go again."
  • 00:20:27.049 --> 00:20:29.117
  • And the Lord said to me, "Youcan do nothing about this,
  • 00:20:29.117 --> 00:20:32.921
  • "but you can trust me.
  • 00:20:32.921 --> 00:20:35.223
  • "And I will take this and Iwill work it out for good."
  • 00:20:35.223 --> 00:20:39.928
  • And for me at thatpoint it was very free,
  • 00:20:39.928 --> 00:20:43.265
  • because the Lord was saying,
  • 00:20:43.265 --> 00:20:45.200
  • "I love your child more thanyou could ever love them.
  • 00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:49.271
  • "You keep speaking blessing.
  • 00:20:49.271 --> 00:20:51.039
  • "You keep being right.
  • 00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:52.574
  • "You look for opportunitiesand I will take this child,
  • 00:20:52.574 --> 00:20:57.512
  • "young woman, youngman and I'll move them,
  • 00:20:58.647 --> 00:21:00.449
  • "to where they need to be.
  • 00:21:00.449 --> 00:21:02.117
  • "I'm God and I could do muchmore than you ever can."
  • 00:21:02.117 --> 00:21:05.587
  • So, I do that.
  • 00:21:05.587 --> 00:21:06.555
  • I also think too about women,
  • 00:21:06.555 --> 00:21:09.458
  • that did not have theexample of mothering.
  • 00:21:09.458 --> 00:21:12.594
  • My mother died beforemy 20th birthday.
  • 00:21:12.594 --> 00:21:15.364
  • And so the things that Imissed as a young woman,
  • 00:21:15.364 --> 00:21:19.568
  • or someone speaking into mylife, I missed those things.
  • 00:21:19.568 --> 00:21:22.871
  • And so I use those likeHolly was saying earlier,
  • 00:21:22.871 --> 00:21:26.441
  • as opportunitiesto be to my kids,
  • 00:21:26.441 --> 00:21:30.178
  • what I didn't have in my life,
  • 00:21:30.178 --> 00:21:31.646
  • that I felt like was important.
  • 00:21:31.646 --> 00:21:33.515
  • So, there's hope.
  • 00:21:33.515 --> 00:21:35.317
  • No matter what season yourkids are in there's hope.
  • 00:21:35.317 --> 00:21:38.553
  • And it's a matter ofcontinuing, just believing,
  • 00:21:39.888 --> 00:21:42.557
  • persevering and doing theright thing like Victoria said.
  • 00:21:42.557 --> 00:21:45.560
  • Speak blessing.
  • 00:21:45.560 --> 00:21:46.962
  • Don't let any negativitycome out of your mouth,
  • 00:21:46.962 --> 00:21:50.365
  • towards your kids.
  • 00:21:50.365 --> 00:21:51.833
  • You may feel like youwanna straighten them out,
  • 00:21:51.833 --> 00:21:53.268
  • because you can see thingsthat they don't see.
  • 00:21:53.268 --> 00:21:55.470
  • You've got experience.You've been down paths that,
  • 00:21:55.470 --> 00:21:58.774
  • you know, we say our kids rundown paths that we walked,
  • 00:21:58.774 --> 00:22:02.477
  • but God's got this.
  • 00:22:02.477 --> 00:22:04.012
  • You pray.
  • 00:22:04.012 --> 00:22:04.946
  • You pray for divine influences,
  • 00:22:04.946 --> 00:22:06.948
  • and then you just trust it.
  • 00:22:06.948 --> 00:22:08.650
  • You've got to trust it.
  • 00:22:08.650 --> 00:22:09.985
  • Sometimes it's moreabout us trusting God,
  • 00:22:09.985 --> 00:22:12.721
  • than about trusting our kids.
  • 00:22:12.721 --> 00:22:14.589
  • So I say, you,trust God, you pray.
  • 00:22:14.589 --> 00:22:17.292
  • You surroundyourself with people,
  • 00:22:17.292 --> 00:22:18.960
  • that can encourage you throughthis journey of mothering,
  • 00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:22.063
  • and God's got this, he'lltake care of everything.
  • 00:22:22.063 --> 00:22:25.434
  • - I think Jeannie,that trusting God,
  • 00:22:25.434 --> 00:22:28.336
  • it's got to be thenumber one thing,
  • 00:22:28.336 --> 00:22:30.505
  • when it comes tocultivating your children,
  • 00:22:30.505 --> 00:22:33.375
  • and younger people around you.
  • 00:22:33.375 --> 00:22:36.211
  • We have a very young churchand I thank God for it.
  • 00:22:36.211 --> 00:22:39.247
  • It's just amazing.
  • 00:22:39.247 --> 00:22:40.315
  • But it's important that we,first of all, as mothers,
  • 00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:45.187
  • we do have to correct.
  • 00:22:45.187 --> 00:22:46.755
  • I think we're livingin a society now,
  • 00:22:46.755 --> 00:22:49.591
  • where every mom is tryingto be the kid's best friend.
  • 00:22:49.591 --> 00:22:52.727
  • That's not gonna work.
  • 00:22:52.727 --> 00:22:54.129
  • When you're training somebody,
  • 00:22:54.129 --> 00:22:55.597
  • you have to have disciplineand you have to correct,
  • 00:22:55.597 --> 00:22:58.867
  • but you do it in love.
  • 00:22:58.867 --> 00:23:00.435
  • And then I think wehave to have patience.
  • 00:23:00.435 --> 00:23:02.604
  • We have to have patience.
  • 00:23:02.604 --> 00:23:04.072
  • Cultivating takestime, you know.
  • 00:23:04.072 --> 00:23:06.875
  • They're not gonnaget it overnight.
  • 00:23:06.875 --> 00:23:10.212
  • So, you have to have patience.
  • 00:23:10.212 --> 00:23:11.480
  • And then, let's be thebiggest cheerleaders,
  • 00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:14.483
  • we could ever be.
  • 00:23:14.483 --> 00:23:15.984
  • I know in my life I had mymom and dad cheering for me,
  • 00:23:15.984 --> 00:23:20.255
  • you know, the older moms andthe church cheering for me.
  • 00:23:20.255 --> 00:23:23.825
  • And it's awesome.
  • 00:23:23.825 --> 00:23:25.293
  • It's an awesomefeeling to cheer,
  • 00:23:25.293 --> 00:23:27.896
  • but ultimately we have totrust God with our children.
  • 00:23:27.896 --> 00:23:31.867
  • I remember God did awork in my son's heart,
  • 00:23:31.867 --> 00:23:34.536
  • and he was on the otherside of the world.
  • 00:23:34.536 --> 00:23:36.538
  • And when God didit in his heart,
  • 00:23:36.538 --> 00:23:38.874
  • he was in Australiaand I was in Nashville.
  • 00:23:38.874 --> 00:23:41.710
  • It's like the Holy Spirit said,
  • 00:23:41.710 --> 00:23:42.911
  • "I did it and youwere nowhere around."
  • 00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:45.080
  • (laughing)
  • 00:23:45.080 --> 00:23:46.648
  • And I'm like, "Wow."
  • 00:23:46.648 --> 00:23:47.916
  • So, I wanna pray rightnow for those mothers,
  • 00:23:47.916 --> 00:23:50.485
  • who might feel like yourkids are so far astray,
  • 00:23:50.485 --> 00:23:54.456
  • that there's no hope.
  • 00:23:54.456 --> 00:23:55.657
  • Father God, inthe name of Jesus.
  • 00:23:55.657 --> 00:23:57.459
  • I thank you, I thank you.
  • 00:23:57.459 --> 00:23:59.628
  • I pray for every momthat's watching right now.
  • 00:23:59.628 --> 00:24:02.030
  • And I pray Lord that theywould just begin to trust you.
  • 00:24:02.030 --> 00:24:05.400
  • That they would trust thatyou love their children,
  • 00:24:05.400 --> 00:24:07.669
  • more than they couldever love them.
  • 00:24:07.669 --> 00:24:09.104
  • And that you have aplan for their children.
  • 00:24:09.104 --> 00:24:11.106
  • Their childrenare not forgotten.
  • 00:24:11.106 --> 00:24:12.607
  • And it doesn't matter how manymistakes that they've made.
  • 00:24:12.607 --> 00:24:15.010
  • Father God, you've beenthere every step of the way.
  • 00:24:15.010 --> 00:24:17.979
  • And you have a wayof straightening outevery crooked place,
  • 00:24:17.979 --> 00:24:20.649
  • when we begin to trustand bless our children.
  • 00:24:20.649 --> 00:24:24.252
  • Lord give them thewords to speak.
  • 00:24:24.252 --> 00:24:26.488
  • Let them speak what yousay about their children,
  • 00:24:26.488 --> 00:24:29.791
  • and nothing else.
  • 00:24:29.791 --> 00:24:30.725
  • Let them lift the standard,
  • 00:24:30.725 --> 00:24:32.761
  • of releasing that blessingover them every day.
  • 00:24:32.761 --> 00:24:36.231
  • Father God, I pray thatthose women and fathers,
  • 00:24:36.231 --> 00:24:40.168
  • parents who didn'tget that love,
  • 00:24:40.168 --> 00:24:42.070
  • let them know that you area Father to the fatherless.
  • 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:44.739
  • And so no matterwhat they missed,
  • 00:24:44.739 --> 00:24:46.575
  • you are there to fillthem up right now,
  • 00:24:46.575 --> 00:24:49.945
  • with everything that they need.
  • 00:24:49.945 --> 00:24:52.047
  • Lord, give them thewisdom that they need.
  • 00:24:52.047 --> 00:24:53.782
  • Give them the patiencein order to cultivate,
  • 00:24:53.782 --> 00:24:56.751
  • this next generation,
  • 00:24:56.751 --> 00:24:57.786
  • that is going to domighty things for you.
  • 00:24:59.487 --> 00:25:02.123
  • Lord, we prophesy to allof our children right now.
  • 00:25:02.123 --> 00:25:05.293
  • They will fulfill theirpurpose in the earth,
  • 00:25:05.293 --> 00:25:08.063
  • in Jesus name we pray, Amen.
  • 00:25:08.063 --> 00:25:11.600
  • - Thank you Lord.
  • 00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:12.734
  • Amen, amen.
  • 00:25:12.734 --> 00:25:15.403
  • Life and death are inthe power of the tongue.
  • 00:25:15.403 --> 00:25:18.206
  • Choose life, speak life.
  • 00:25:18.206 --> 00:25:20.809
  • I always say, "Makeyour word sweet,
  • 00:25:20.809 --> 00:25:22.377
  • "'cause one day youmight have to eat 'em."
  • 00:25:22.377 --> 00:25:24.512
  • You know, our bettertogether community,
  • 00:25:25.714 --> 00:25:27.182
  • is always here for you.
  • 00:25:27.182 --> 00:25:28.617
  • You can connect withus on social media,
  • 00:25:28.617 --> 00:25:30.385
  • and let us know howwe can pray for you.
  • 00:25:30.385 --> 00:25:32.387
  • Thanks for joining us today.
  • 00:25:32.387 --> 00:25:34.289
  • Christians don't havea retirement plan,
  • 00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:37.225
  • whether you're in the middleof raising your family,
  • 00:25:37.225 --> 00:25:39.928
  • or maybe come home eachday to an empty house.
  • 00:25:39.928 --> 00:25:42.764
  • God placed you on thisearth for a reason.
  • 00:25:42.764 --> 00:25:45.266
  • And tomorrow, we'regonna talk about,
  • 00:25:45.266 --> 00:25:47.235
  • how to livefulfilled at any age.
  • 00:25:47.235 --> 00:25:49.771
  • We will all see you then.
  • 00:25:49.771 --> 00:25:50.939
  • We love you.
  • 00:25:50.939 --> 00:25:51.773
  • God bless you, bye bye.
  • 00:25:51.773 --> 00:25:52.974
  • (upbeat music)
  • 00:25:52.974 --> 00:25:55.577